Starting Fires

by Makenzie Smith

  He smiled. “You’d be surprised by the amount of people who would love for you to serve them the wrong drinks.”

  “Thank you,” I chuckled and took his glass to fill it too. “But I think you’re a little biased.”

  “And why is that?” he asked flirtatiously.

  While I was thinking of how to respond, the front door opened and a woman walked in. Despite it being December, she was wearing a short black skirt and a tight, sleeveless, low-cut top. Her heels clicked as she strutted towards us. “I’m Gwen,” she said and squinted her eyes at Lucas. “I think I might have talked to you on the phone earlier. Lucas?”

  “That’s me,” he smiled and reached out to shake her hand. Very daintily, she held his fingers. Up close, I realized that she was beautiful. Long, stunning, deep brown hair. Exotic features, and I guessed that she was from somewhere in the Pacific Islands. Her smile was sultry, but not deliberate. She probably didn’t know how to do it any other way. Realizing she was still holding Lucas’ hand, I decided that it was time for her to let go.

  “I’m Marlowe,” I said with friendliness and reached across the bar.

  She turned towards me. “Nice to meet you. Are you one of the other bartenders?”

  “Nah,” Lucas told her with a relaxed smile. “Marzy just keeps my books.”

  For some reason that bothered me. Just keeps his books—as if I was nothing else to him. I wanted to add, And fucks him every night, but shut it down. I was being ridiculous for no reason.

  Instead of taking her to his office, he led her to a table at the far end of the bar. To keep from watching every interaction between them, I walked back to my seat and tried to finish Spiderman.

  Their laughter rang out periodically, and every time I heard her sexy giggle I inhaled long and hard. Other girls had made me feel jealous, but not to this level. Previously, I was able to brush it off, or erect a few walls to block my emotions, but it was getting harder. And I had no idea how to handle it.

  After talking with her, he brought her back to the bar so she could show him her skills, and I realized that he hadn’t done this with any of the others. Maybe he wanted to hire her. As she effortlessly maneuvered around and successfully made everything he asked, I knew he should. She was good. And pretty. And pretty bartenders brought in customers. It sucked that I felt intimidated, but having her working at Burns would lessen Lucas’ stress.

  He asked her to make an Old Fashioned and playfully narrowed his eyes as she effortlessly made the drink. Slowly, he grabbed it and took a sip. “That’s damn good,” he said with surprise. “You ever had one?” he asked me. I shook my head and he handed it to me. “Well, this is how they should be made. Try it.” It really did taste good, and I told Gwen so. She flashed Lucas a radiant smile and propped her hands on her hips. They stared at each other and I felt like they were having a conversation with their eyes.

  Hers said, “See. I’m good. Hire me.”

  His said, “I’m not sure yet. I want to, but for some reason I’m hesitating.”

  I wondered if he was reluctant because he thought I would go crazy as Candace had—start accusing them of having a fling or making scenes. It was obvious that Gwen was gorgeous. I knew it. Lucas knew it. And she knew it. But I wasn’t Candace. “You should hire her,” I said, trying to prove that she didn’t affect me.

  Gwen leaned towards him and said, “You should,” with another sultry smile. My face immediately contorted, and I wondered if I actually could handle this. Everything about her bothered me. The way she looked at him and the way he looked at her.

  Lucas brought his eyes to mine, rubbing his hand across his mouth. It felt like he was trying to make sure I was okay with it. Clearing my face of any repulsion, I gave him one of my less sultry smiles, and rubbed my foot down his calf, nodding slightly. I might not like her, but she was a good choice, and Lucas shouldn’t have to worry about my insecurities when hiring an employee.

  “Alright,” he said. “I need you to sign some paperwork in my office.” Gwen clapped with glee and came out from behind the bar. “Just through that door,” he told her. Thinking that he wanted to give us a moment of privacy, I went to put a hand on his knee but he suddenly stood and walked off.

  So that’s what that felt like. Pure disappointment and embarrassment.

  While they were in his office, the television began playing another superhero movie. I huffed and sighed while watching it. After the first commercial break, I wondered what was taking them so long. It was just paperwork. Maybe he was giving her a tour. From experience I knew how secluded you could feel in those back rooms, and I felt my chest tighten as unwanted thoughts raced through my head. The phone ringing thankfully cut them off.

  After it rang three more times, I decided to get up and answer it. “Burns,” I said.

  “Marlowe?”

  “Hey, Kate. What’s up?”

  “I’m looking for Lucas. Is he around?”

  “Yeah, he’s finishing up some paperwork with the new bartender.”

  Kate scoffed. “He hired someone without talking to me? Typical. Well can you let him know that I’m going to be an hour late?”

  “Sure. I’ll tell him right now.” Just as I was about to hang up, Kate said my name. “Yeah?”

  “It’s a girl isn’t it?”

  “Yes,” I curtly replied.

  “She’s hot isn’t she?” she asked, sounding amused.

  “Shut up,” I said and ended the call. Even though she was trying to get a rise out of me, now I had an excuse to go to the back and it wouldn’t seem like I was hovering or spying.

  Taking a breath, I made my way to his office. At the door, I saw Lucas sitting in his rolling chair. Gwen was propped up on his desk, squeezing him into the corner, her leg nearly touching his hand. She was leaned towards him smiling, and it looked like he was starting to smile, too. When he saw me, Lucas jumped then let out a chuckle. “You scared the shit out of me, Marzy.” Thinking about it, I probably had looked like a creep watching them soundlessly from the hallway.

  “Sorry,” I laughed, trying to make my weirdness seem unintentional, and took a step in. “Kate called. She said she’s going to be an hour late.”

  Lucas sighed. “You mind waiting with me until she gets here?”

  “Nope,” I grinned. “Need me to help with anything while you finish?”

  “I’ll get it,” he said softly and it felt like he’d wanted to add baby to the end of his words, but stopped himself.

  He made it to the door and turned around to Gwen. “Sign the rest and just leave it on my desk. I need to make sure everything’s good upfront.”

  “Sure,” she smiled and watched him go with a look I didn’t appreciate. As she started signing, I went to follow Lucas, but then she said, “He’s single isn’t he?”

  Why did she want to know? And I hated that she asked me that. What was I supposed to say? Sorta? Yes? Depends on how you look at it?

  Not liking any of those choices I said, “Why don’t you ask him?”

  “I did, and he was vague, trying to stay mysterious. But I can spot the single guys. And he’s one of them,” she grinned.

  Oh, please. Like she was some kind of dude whisperer. “How can you spot them?” I asked, making it clear that I didn’t believe her.

  “Trust me. Either he’s single or he wants to be.”

  What the fuck was that supposed to mean? Did he make a pass at her? Jealously pooled in my stomach and I left the room. Lucas was cleaning off the countertops when I came into the bar, but Gwen strutted out before he even had time to notice me. “See you New Year’s Eve right?” she said.

  “Yeah,” he grinned. “We should be packed so I’m glad we’ll have the extra help.”

  “Looking forward to it,” she smiled. As she walked towards the door, she said, “Later Marzy,” without looking back at me, and I frowned at her departure.

  After a moment, Lucas came to stand next to me. “Something bothering you?” he asked.
<
br />   “Only you get to call me Marzy,” I said, still frowning at the door.

  He chuckled and wrapped his arms around my waist. “You’re damn right. Next time I see her, I’ll tell her to cut it out,” he smiled. He sat in a bar stool and pulled me between his legs. I wanted to ask him about what Gwen had meant, but remembered Candace and how she’d acted. He’d only just hired her and I was ready to throw around accusations.

  For the first time since we’d started this, I wanted to ask for commitment from him. Initially, I’d told him that I didn’t mind if he was with other girls. But I was past that now. It would bother me. Badly. Even if I didn’t have to see it. He’d told me that he was only with me. But what if he decided he wanted to be with other people? Nothing was stopping him. He could just do it, and I would be hurt, but there wasn’t much I could say about it.

  His lips came to my neck and I closed my eyes, remembering what I’d overheard him say to Mia just a few days before. Why would I want to mess it up by making her my girlfriend? He didn’t want that from me. And if I asked for it and he rejected me, I’d be mortified.

  “What’s wrong?” he whispered into my neck.

  “It’s nothing.”

  He gave me a squeeze and said, “Liar,” as his lips trailed up to my ear. “Tell me.”

  I tried, but it was buried in my throat. To shut him and my thoughts up, I turned and brought my mouth to his—hoping my lips would successfully convince him where my words couldn’t.

  A few days later on New Year’s Eve, all of my friends planned on going to Burns to celebrate. Lucas didn’t have a choice. Since Gwen was new, he and Kate were going to be working the holiday with her. He left so early, I didn’t even get to ride with him.

  We weren’t departing until 8 p.m. but I knew that Lucas was there right now. With Gwen. Over the last few days neither one of us had mentioned her name. On my part, it was intentional. I didn’t want him to think that I gave her a second thought.

  About an hour before we were leaving, I was on my bed, my feet dangling off the end. I was wearing jeans and a red, swoop-neck top. Everyone else would be dressed fancy, but for some reason I wasn’t in the mood, and had no intention of changing. When my phone started vibrating, I assumed it was Lacey or Nicole and answered without looking at the display. “Hello.”

  “Hey,” Lucas said on the other end. Confused, I pulled the phone back and saw that he was calling me from the bar. “You’re still coming up here, right?”

  “Yeah. Around 8. Is it busy?”

  “It’s not too bad right now, but people are starting to file in. I’m back in my office.”

  “You’re not going to be able to hang out with us much are you?”

  “No,” he said, sounding sad. “But if you were a little more open to bartending we could be working together,” he finished with amusement.

  “On a night like tonight?” I smiled. “I’d be a frazzled mess. Maybe even cry. Drunk people can be mean Lucas and I’m only part badass. There’s only so much of their slurred profanities that I’d be able to take.”

  His laugh made my stomach tighten. “Not on my watch, babe. They’d be banned. You don’t slur curses at my… uh… at Marzy and get away with it.” A silence followed his last sentence. He was about to call me his something. But what, I wasn’t sure. I wish he would have just said it. “Listen,” he said, taking the focus off his near flub. “I need you to go over to my house and grab my spare bottle opener. Kate forgot hers.”

  “Is Ian home?” I didn’t have a key and wouldn’t be able to get in.

  “No, but there’s a spare key under the big brown rock by the door. Don’t worry about putting it back. I need someone to have one anyway, and I don’t trust Wally or Charles with it.”

  “Okay,” I said, holding in my grin.

  “It’s in the drawer to the right of the dishwasher. See you at 8?”

  “See you then.”

  After I found the bottle opener and made my way back home, I stood in my kitchen, leaning against the counter, unable to take my eyes off his house key. The light reflected off the metal as I moved it around in my fingers. This was serious. Was I okay with that? Maybe. But maybe not. I couldn’t decide. Without letting myself over analyze, I quickly put it on my key ring and tossed them on the island.

  I was still staring at it when Wally and Charles came downstairs, both looking wonderful. I smiled as I eyed them. Charles was wearing a pink dress shirt, tucked into black slacks. Wally had on dark jeans and a maroon sweater that hugged his slender frame and showed off his slight muscles. His hair fell in beautiful, wavy locks along his ears.

  “Take a picture. It’ll last longer,” Wally said as he came into the kitchen.

  “You look hot,” I chuckled, realizing that I’ve never said those words to him. It sounded like something he would’ve said to me. Maybe he was rubbing off.

  “Don’t I always?”

  “Eh,” I said, moving my hand back and forth.

  “Please,” he pursed his lips. “You’ve imagined me naked, and we both know it.” I hadn’t, but after he said it, I did for a brief second but quickly pushed the image away, having no desire to know what he looked like in the nude.

  The parking lot at Burns was packed, so we pulled off into the grass. The atmosphere inside was clearly high-spirited. People were laughing, dancing, all having the time of their lives. It made me feel excited. It was a new year. Already I could see that it was going to be better than the last. I would be graduated and felt like all of the hurt of my past was leaving. It still lingered, but not as prominently as before. I was letting it go.

  Lucas was behind the bar, running up and down its length, working fast as he helped customers. Kate and Gwen were doing the same. His bottle opener was in my hand and I made my way over to get his attention. After the person in front of me received their drink and walked off, I squeezed into the empty space. Lucas saw me and held up his finger. Patiently, I waited while he made a cocktail. As he was collecting the money for it, Gwen stopped in front of me.

  “Hey, what can I get you?” she asked in a rush.

  “I’m waiting on Lucas,” I said, waving his bottle opener in my hand.

  “We’re kinda busy. I’ll give it to him.” She reached across the bar for it and my lips pulled to the side. I wanted to talk to him, even for just a moment, but she was shaking her fingers with urgency. To keep from making it a big deal, I reluctantly handed it to her. “Need a drink?” she asked, slipping it into her back pocket.

  “Yeah, I’ll take a beer.”

  Gwen reached into a cooler under the bar and used Lucas’ bottle opener to pop the cap off. “$3.50,” she told me.

  It was strange that I’d never thought of it before, but never once had I paid for a drink at Burns. Either Lucas didn’t charge me or Charles bought it. Honestly, it made me feel bad. But I guess since I’d convinced Lucas to stopping paying me to do his books, this was his way of evening it out. Realizing Gwen was still waiting for my money, I pulled a twenty out of my purse and handed it to her.

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Lucas said and rushed over to take the money away from her. “Marzy never pays for drinks,” he told her. “Ever.” She looked at me with confusion, but walked off to help someone else. As he moved in front of me, he leaned his elbows against the bar, and put the money back in my hand.

  “It’s insane in here,” I said.

  “Yeah,” he smiled. “If I get a minute I’ll try to come see you.” With the size of this crowd, I doubted he’d get the opportunity, but I nodded enthusiastically. A girl next to me asked for a Cosmo, and Lucas went to make it. Knowing he was slammed, and that there was no point in me standing there, I moved back into the crowd to find my friends.

  Over the next few hours, we drank in the last night of the year. Nicole had brought a guy with her and was sucking face with him all night, but loving every second of it. Wally flit and fluttered around the room. I didn’t see much of Lacey or Ian, and ended up following Ch
arles around.

  Some “old friends” of his were in town and we were sitting at a table with them. They were all friendly, and despite not knowing any of them, I didn’t feel out of place.

  After a few hours, my phone vibrated on the table. It was a text from Lucas that read, Stop looking so beautiful. I looked over at the bar and saw him smiling at me. My face heated with welcomed embarrassment. Not knowing how else to respond, I texted *blushes back. Lucas grinned at his phone before Gwen approached him. She said something that made him laugh then he walked by her, placing a hand on her shoulder.

  In my mind, that hand stayed on her shoulder for an eternity. In reality, it had probably only been a fraction of a second. While she smiled at a customer, her eyes briefly shifted to mine. She flipped her long hair over her shoulder before turning back to the man in front of her.

  “What do you think of her?”

  “Huh?” I said and turned to find Wally sitting in front of me, squinting his eyes as he drank from his beer.

  “Gwen. What. Do. You. Think of her?”

  Was he baiting me into something? “She’s alright I guess.”

  “Mmhmm. You hate her,” he said, pointing a finger at me.

  “No, I don’t,” I said defensively. “I hardly know her. How can I hate someone I barely know?”

  “It’s all over your face.” He leaned across the table. “You’re worried about her and Lucas.”

  “No, I’m not,” I argued. “I haven’t even thought about it.”

  “Really?” he said, like he didn’t believe me.

  “Yes, really,” I lied.

  “Let me ask you something,” he sighed, sprawling out in the chair. “What would you do if Lucas hooked up with someone else?”

  What would I do? Nothing. How would I feel? Horrible. “I wouldn’t do anything,” I said.

  Wally stared at me long and hard, analyzing my answer. “Alright,” he said, standing from the table. “So you wouldn’t care?”

  I didn’t like the way he was looking at me, and it felt like he was trying to embarrass me. Instead of answering truthfully, I avoided it by saying, “We aren’t dating,” with a shrug. He pulled a face and walked off. For the rest of the night I felt like there was a big rock stuck in my stomach and wasn’t able to enjoy much else.