Cranberry Winter

by Ruth P. Watson

  We both giggled, knowing it was the truth. Ms. Pearl had every man in town wishing he could be with her. She knew it, and ignored most of them. She was very selective, and catered to only a few close male friends, even though other men were praying she would give them a chance.

  “What is Simon up to these days?” Hester asked between chuckles and sips of coffee. “Your Simon used to be a good man. He was different than the rest of the boys we knew,” Hester said, after asking where Simon had gone so early in the morning.

  “He is still different. And, he is good, but there is the side that remains a mystery to me. He has a lot of secrets.”

  “Is it Nadine that you worry about?”

  I paused to think about her question. “Not really, even though I find myself thinking about how much I don’t know about my husband. I worry more about Kindred being Mr. Camm. He is the one keeping me looking over my shoulder.”

  Hester squinted and peered over at me. She twisted her lips as if I had struck a nerve. I watched her facial expression change from a smile to a crease in her forehead. She was in deep thought, and she was fidgety. For some reason, she always had thoughts far beyond her years in age. Now she was quiet, adjusting herself in the chair, and just staring at me.

  “What is wrong with you?” I asked, after sipping on my drink and breathing in the aroma of coffee.

  She shook her head. “Aint nothing wrong with me,” she said, without cracking a smile.

  “What are you thinking about then?” I asked, waiting.

  “Nothing at all…” she answered.

  “Why are you so quiet then?”

  “I don’t know if I should tell you this,” she said, hesitating.

  “Tell me what?” I asked, and waited for her to answer me.

  She finally inhaled and said, “Carrie, it seems as though Kindred is staying down in Jefferson.”

  “What is he doing down there? Just the other day he was hanging at the club sniffing around Ms. Pearl.”

  “People have been seeing him with your momma from time to time.”

  “My momma…now who could be making this story up?” I asked, positive it was a mistake. Folks in Jefferson County were famous for turning the truth into a lie and for making up their own stories.

  “They say Mrs. Mae Lou and he were together at church the other Sunday. They came together and left together. They even sat together on the third row.”

  “What do you mean, at church?” I asked getting more wound up with each word flowing out of her mouth.

  “They came to church together, like a couple. Momma said Mrs. Mae Lou was dressed real nice.”

  “Hester, my momma has sense enough to stay away from Kindred.”

  “Mrs. Mae Lou got the entire town talking again. She says he is Herman’s brother. But now, I’m not sure.”

  “How do you know all of these things?” I asked, thinking what a shame it was if Hester had become a gossip like the rest of the town.

  “My momma told me, and she don’t have no reason to lie on your momma. She seemed to be a little worried about Mrs. Mae Lou.”

  “I know she wouldn’t lie on her. It’s just hard to believe,” I said. Why was Momma fooling around with her dead husband’s brother? Herman had some kind of spell on my momma. There was a lady around Jefferson County known for working roots on people.

  “You need to go home soon and find out for yourself,” Hester suggested.

  “There has got to be an explanation for all of this. Momma knows my fear of that man. So why is she spending her time with somebody like him.”

  Hester shook her head and smacked her lips at my comment. “Remember, he has not done anything. The only crime Mr. Kindred has committed is looking like his brother so far.”

  “I can’t get used to him being around. I’ve never seen any twins who look that much alike. The girls that live around the corner each have something different about them. One is taller than the other or something.”

  “People have said there are twins that look so much alike, they are constantly mistaken for one another. It is obvious Mr. Camm and his brother was like that. Too bad Camm had such a bad reputation in the community, drinking and carrying on. And let’s not forget what he did to you.”

  “I left Jefferson County to get away from all of the madness. Now it is following me wherever I go.”

  Hester was quick to shoot back, “Nobody is doing anything to you. You are doing it to yourself. You are running around afraid of somebody like Kindred, and you are putting up with Simon and his questionable ways. It is time you put a stop to them one by one.”

  “How do you suggest I handle things?” I asked, knowing she had thought about everything and had a plan waiting to be implemented.

  “Since Kindred is on your mind the most, let’s take a trip to Jefferson and just see what is up with Mrs. Mae Lou.”

  “I can’t take Robert down to Jefferson; everybody will be talking.”

  “They are going to talk no matter what you do. Ginny is there and you know how glad she would be to see you and Robert,” Hester said, and glanced over at me. “Let’s go soon.”

  I hesitated to commit. I didn’t want to see my momma with Kindred. And if he was visiting her, I was sure I would not stay with her.

  “I haven’t seen Ginny in a long time. I know she will know what is going on, and I can stay with her while we are there.”

  “Just let me know when and I will go with you. We can make it a fun trip.”

  “I probably will not have time to visit. I just want to make sure my momma is all right.”

  “She is happy, they say. I just wonder if he is more to her than a brother-in-law.”

  “I don’t understand. She is not the same woman that raised me. She would never be seen with a man of his caliber. But she surprised us with Herman. What if this man is also taking advantage of her Southern hospitality?”

  “Mrs. Mae Lou is a strong woman. She can handle herself in any circumstance.”

  “You are right.” I laughed. “I can remember how she handles a rifle. I think she is a better shot than my papa and my brothers. She is a tough woman, but when it comes to men, she seems to be taken in by them.”

  Hester shook her head and then she said, “You know Richmond was supposed to be a new start for you. You were going to get an education and walk away from all the hurt of Jefferson County. Now you are worried about a twin, your husband is changing, and you have a new friend in your life. I think you need to start eliminating the things causing you fear and get some control over your life.”

  “I thought I had it worked out. But it is not over yet. I am still worried and it bothers me more than you even know. I’ve got to talk to Momma first.”

  “You are more important than any of this stuff. Take care of your life first. You must deal with Simon. Your momma can handle herself.”

  I had to convince her of the mystery of Kindred. “I can’t let him hurt her like he did before. Herman Camm was a cruel and selfish man. Why did he have to return?”

  Hester laid her hand on my shoulder and massaged it as if to comfort me. “Remember, he is his twin. It is not Herman.”

  “So everyone believes,” I quickly said.

  “How can you prove it any other way?” she asked, staring me in the eyes.

  “I don’t know, but I think it is Herman,” I said. I could not prove he was Herman, but I had to find a way for me to tell the difference.

  “Do you realize if the folks in the country thought he was Herman, he would probably be dead and in the ground by now?” Hester commented, knowing Herman had left a lot of enemies behind, including the white man at the club, whom I believe was a real gangster type.

  Chapter 16

  I spent the evening at home with Simon. He had come home early carrying a single rose and a fried chicken dinner he had picked up at the restaurant around the corner from the club. The food was always hot, and people said it was the best soul food restaurant in town. I didn’t know
of but one other place that sold hot food. Simon had taken me to the restaurant several times and I loved the spicy taste of that food. The meal included two pieces of chicken, bread and potato salad. “I told them to make your chicken sandwich while I waited. I told them my wife likes her food piping hot,” Simon said, smiling, a far cry from the month before when neither of us cracked a grin in the other’s direction. He had been consistent, though. Each day he had been showering me with compliments and bringing home the little things he thought I enjoyed. One evening he came home with a Coca-Cola in one bag and some rose water perfume in the other. I didn’t tell him I hated the scent of rose water.

  It had been weeks since we had spent any quality time together. I had passed him several times in our own small apartment and we didn’t part our lips. Just believing he had spent time with Nadine, my neighbor, made me sick at the stomach. Nadine was no friend of mine and I hated her being a friend to him. “Nadine don’t mean nothing to me. She is just somebody I know,” he’d argued whenever I mentioned her name. I’m not sure if ever I believed him.

  One night, while I was alone in bed, I decided Nadine was not going to interrupt my marriage. I had to fight for what was mine, even though at times my mind would end up daydreaming about a life with Adam. What we had was also wrong. I enjoyed Adam’s company more than anybody. He understood colored people were sick and tired of serving white folks. We wanted meaningful work, and were tired of working in the fields and in white folks’ kitchens. Too many people had fallen to their death in the tobacco fields working in the high sun, until the white man said, “enough.” At least with an education, I could help train our future businessmen, doctors and educators. Colored folks could have their own businesses, and maybe colored women could do more than care for the needs of the lily white lady.

  Simon had my full attention when he handed me the gifts. I quickly put the single rose in a vase of water and put the sandwich in the oven to eat later. I grinned like I had the first night he made love to me. It had been a long time. After I threw my arms around his neck, he reached down, picked me up, and carried me to the bedroom. But before he started to caress me, I excused myself into the bathroom to insert my sponge. Afterward, I felt relieved about being protected from having a child I was not ready for.

  He pulled me into his long muscular arms. He gazed at me with those beautiful mahogany eyes as if he was reading my soul. He missed me, I could tell. I stared back into his eyes, and smiled shyly. I wanted him. So when he laid me down on the bed, beads of sweat had already started to surface on my nose and around my hairline. Simon kissed me long and passionately on my lips, his tongue deep inside my mouth, connecting us as one. My heartbeat was quick and my breathing was heavy. I shivered when he ran his tongue over my nipples and down my stomach. I twitched when he palmed my bottom with his hands and pulled me close to him. It was at that moment that I could not hold back and he slid right into my juices. I moved my hips up, down and around. Simon was controlled and I knew it took all the self-control he had to keep from slamming himself into me. I could feel his heartbeat. And as he moved in and out of my body, I could sense the enjoyment in his eyes. He inhaled as if he was sniffing roses. We climaxed together. Afterward, we snuggled close, I laid my head on his chest and we both fell off to sleep.

  My relationship with Simon was finally reminding me of old times in Jefferson, when all I thought about was us. He was being the kind of man I had fallen in love with, and for some reason, I no longer craved the attention of Adam, yet I thought about him daily. I had not seen him in a long time, though. Everything was surprising since I expected Simon to come up with a story about needing to leave to play ball with the colored league. “Are you going out to play ball?” I asked him.

  “Yes, I will always play ball. It is in my blood,” he said, smiling. He walked over to the door, picked up the bat behind it and started swinging the bat like he was hitting a ball.

  “I knew you couldn’t do without it.”

  He set the bat down behind the door. “I love playing ball. It makes me happy. A man needs something to do outside of family.”

  I listened to the disappointment in his voice and could tell he was having a hard time being the man I wanted him to be. He was still craving the road and playing ball. And for some reason, I knew he couldn’t stick to the schedule he had maintained for several weeks. He had been coming home from the club early each day. He was spending more time with Robert, picking him up from the Halls in the evening.

  The night he had spent on the davenport had been an eye-opener for him. It was when he finally took me seriously. I was a young girl forced to grow up fast. I was country and naïve, but I wasn’t stupid. I had said to him, “Simon, if you want to be with Nadine and tell me lies, you need to leave. I am tired of the way you have been treating me.”

  “I love you,” he had said the next morning, after tossing and turning on the davenport and begging me to let him back into the bedroom. I was determined to stand up for myself. I told him how I felt and after days without talking, he had said he wanted to make me happy. I didn’t have the nerve to tell him that I had feelings for another man. I wanted to keep Adam out of it all. I still loved Simon and I didn’t want our marriage to end without even trying. So I’d told him I loved him too.

  “What are we going to do?”

  “I want you to be honest with me. I am afraid about how our relationship has turned out.”

  Simon stood listening to me and when I was done, he pledged he would not lie to me again. When I asked about Nadine being in his car, he pleaded with me to forget about Nadine. He convinced me she was just someone he had known in the past and she meant nothing to him now. He had felt sorry for her and her children and given them a ride home. I accepted his answers and for the past three weekends, we had been courteous and accountable to each other.

  I knew it would be short-lived by the way he was standing in the kitchen swinging the bat as if he was prepared to bat a ball away. When he put the bat back behind the door, I could see the jovial smile disappear on his face.

  “Do you miss the game?”

  “No, not really,” he said without looking at me.

  I had been back to school twice since I found him in the club. Simon took me to school each time in his Model T. Both times, we rode right past Adam’s tenement. I glanced over at the building hoping to catch a glimpse of him walking down the sidewalk. He was never in sight. It was so strange how I had my husband’s attention, yet hoped to get a glimpse of Adam because I had begun to miss him.

  When Simon parked the car in front of the boardinghouse on the second trip, he informed me he was headed out of town for a few days.

  He patted me on the thigh. “I’ve got to go down south for a few days.” I cringed at the thought.

  I knew it was coming, and I anxiously responded, “I was expecting you to leave. I knew you couldn’t stick around for a month. I just knew it.”

  He took my hand. “Carrie, you are not home. You are here in Petersburg most of the time.”

  “I know I’m here. It is just the idea of knowing you are home waiting for me.”

  Simon smiled. “Look, we will probably be home around the same time. I am only going for a few days.”

  “Is this a baseball trip?”

  He tucked his chin. “Sort of.”

  “Where are you going then?”

  “I’m not going far. I have some business to take care of and it involves baseball.”

  I didn’t understand anything he was saying. He didn’t say much and he never really gave me a direct answer.

  “Simon, I sure hope everything will turn out okay.”

  “It will be all right. I am going to meet Pete Hill, and see if I can help him and the league in any way.”

  “I thought you wanted to play.”

  “I do, but being around the game is just as important. Well, I’ve got to go.”

  He reached over and kissed me longer than normal. It was like we had done
in Jefferson County many times when he was leaving. I remembered being in the school yard kissing over and over again. We both would be breathing hard. It was a time when I was sure he had his mind on me.

  There was something about the way he tucked his head and glanced away that made me nervous. I knew there was more to the trip than he had let on. I was finally realizing my husband had more things going on than anything he was willing to tell me about.

  Simon got out of the car and set my suitcase inside the door of the boardinghouse.

  “Are you coming inside?” I asked, still standing on the front porch where one of the tenants was sitting in a rocking chair enjoying the warmer than usual temperature.

  He pulled out his pocket watch and glanced at the time. “No, I want to get back to Richmond and do a few errands before I have to leave tonight.”

  He kissed me one last time before he got back into the car.

  I stood outside watching as he turned the vehicle around and sped off in the direction of Richmond. I knew he would be gone when I came home for the weekend.

  The next morning, on the way to class, I heard a faint call from a distance. “Carrie, Carrie!”

  The voice was familiar, so I turned around to see who it was. Just like I had thought, it was Adam almost trotting to catch up with me.

  “Hi!” he said. “I thought it was you.”

  It was so nice to see him. “What are you doing down here?”

  “I’m going to be working at the school. I graduated, so I’m going to be teaching a class.”

  “It is so strange seeing you here,” I said, never believing he would be in Petersburg. “Are you living here now?” He smiled.

  “No, I’m staying with my cousins during the week. I plan on going back to Richmond on the weekend. I’m thinking about buying myself a used Model T from one of the professors at the school.”

  “When were you going to tell me about your job?”

  “I’m telling you now. I got hired last week. Everything is new to me. Besides, I haven’t seen you in over a month. I thought you had forgotten about me.”