“You know it, Mr. Carson! Thank you!” I said, and Liam already had ran behind me and was waiting with the passenger door open. I climbed in and he leaned in, kissing me before he shut the door and went to the driver’s side. We backed out of the driveway and with excitement shooting through us, we made our way back into the city and headed toward New York Presbyterian Hospital.
Soon, we were there and had parked our van, and Liam walked with me into the hospital, his hand holding mine. We eventually made it to the maternity floor, and since I was pre-registered, everything was all set and ready for me to get changed into my gown and head into the operating room. All of the pre-op stuff didn’t take long, and before I could even wrap my mind around it all, I was in the operating room getting a spinal block (which hurt like a mother fucker) while Liam was getting dressed in scrubs. Once I was lying on the table and my toes were tingling, Dr. Jennings smiled at me. “So, Rory, today’s the big day. Are you ready to meet your little boys?”
“Beyond ready,” I said, smiling. My arms were stretched out on either side of me and I had Velcro restraints on my wrists. I wondered why I had to have them, but at that point, I was on such a maternal high that I didn’t care.
“I’m going to check to see how well the spinal block is working and once you are good and numb we will have Liam come in and then we’ll get started,” she said. I laid back, waiting for her to start, and after about thirty seconds, and she asked, “Okay, Rory, did you feel any of what I just did?”
“What did you do? I didn’t feel anything,” I said.
She smiled. “Okay, you’re ready. Veronica, go get Mr. Tanner please,” she said, and everyone was getting everything ready. Several minutes passed and before I knew it, the doors opened to the operating room and my handsome husband was at my side.
“Hey,” I said, smiling at him as my hair was tucked under a cap and an oxygen tube was placed under my nose.
“Hey, beautiful,” he said, leaning and kissing me through the surgical mask on his face. “Are you nervous?”
“No, I’m so excited. I have waited for this moment for so long. I can’t believe we are actually about to meet our babies,” I said, grinning.
“I know. Who do you think they will look like?” he asked.
“I hope they look like their handsome daddy,” I said.
“But with their mother’s beautiful eyes,” he answered.
“Okay, Rory, we are about to begin. You are going to feel a little pressure at first, then lots of tugging as we get the babies out, okay? If at any time you start to feel actual pain, let us know.”
“Okay, I will,” I said. Liam held onto my hand and even though I couldn’t see it, I knew he was smiling because I could see the creases in the corners of his eyes.
“I love you, angel,” he said, and I felt a little bit of pressure as I heard the doctor say something about making an incision. Our eyes never left each others as I started to feel tugging for a few moments, and all of a sudden, I heard the most beautiful sound I had ever heard…the tiny, squeaky cry of my son.
“Okay, Baby A is out! He’s definitely a boy,” I heard Dr. Jennings laugh, and I started to cry as I heard his little squealing cry. I smiled at Liam, and we both looked up as she held our first little baby over the sheet covering me as I laid my eyes on him. My heart melted in that moment…he was so beautiful. The tears wouldn’t stop flowing as she whisked him away to get checked out.
“Liam, he’s so gorgeous. We have a son,” I cried happily. He had huge tears in his eyes, and he leaned in to kiss my forehead once again. I felt another big tug, and then my heart was exploding with joy when I heard another sweet, tiny cry as my second son was brought out into the world.
“And, here is Baby B, another healthy boy,” Dr. Dennings said as she lifted our second little baby above the sheet so we could see him. He was so amazing, so perfect. I couldn’t stop my tears from falling, and I nodded at Liam.
“It’s okay, I’m fine. Go check on them,” I urged, and he kissed me quickly before jumping off the stool and going over to our sons. In that moment, while I was being stitched back together and my husband was watching over our newborn sons, I felt an overwhelming feeling of peace. I don’t know how long it took to get the babies checked out, but I was aching to see them again. Finally I could see Liam coming toward me holding our precious boys. He’d taken his mask off, and he had such a happy, hopeful smile on his face that I nearly started to cry again.
“Boys, there is someone I want you to meet, although I’m pretty sure you remember her from being in your little cubby hole,” he said in a loving voice. He leaned down to me so I could see their angelic little faces and said, “Say hello to your beautiful mommy.” I looked at their perfect tiny faces and the tears began to flow all over again. I looked from my first born son, who was sporting a little hat that read “Baby A” to my second son, whose little hat read “Baby B”, and a euphoric feeling overtook me. “Aren’t they beautiful, Rory?”
“They are so perfect,” I cried. I hope Liam didn’t mind, but he no longer owned my heart. It was now split equally between him, our little boys…and the piece that would always belong to Mason. As I shared our first moment with Liam as a family, I knew in that moment that Mason was sharing in it too, and that his spirit had gotten me to a place where I was finally happy and able to live the life I’d always dreamed of. As Liam stood up and held the twins after I’d been closed up and was ready to move to recovery, I whispered a silent “thank you” to Mason, hoping that wherever he was, he heard it.
After I was all settled in my room, Liam had followed soon after with the babies. “So, Mommy, are you ready to hold your sons?” Liam asked, beaming at me.
I nodded and smiled widely, and I held my arms out as he placed our boys carefully in my arms. I was crying silently as I held my beautiful babies for the first time. Looking at their perfect faces, I said, “Well, hello there, handsome guys. We’ve been waiting for you two.”
“They are amazing, aren’t they? Rory, they look just like you,” Liam said.
“Oh no way, they are gorgeous. They are all you, babe,” I said, and he leaned and kissed me as he took a spot on the bed next to me. We spent about an hour bonding with our sons, and I even got to feed them both for the first time, which was so weird. The nurse taught me how to feed them both at the same time, and I couldn’t help but giggle because it looked like I was holding two baby-shaped footballs attached to my breasts. Once the boys were full, Liam took our first son while I held the second and we burped them together. I’m going on record as saying there is no cuter sound in the freaking world than a baby burping.
Soon, our families were knocking on the door and there was a lot of gasping and a lot of tears as they all got their first look at our baby boys. Vivian was a sobbing mess, Marissa and Samantha were both crying, and the guys looked so proud and happy for us. “Congratulations, you two,” Vivian said, kissing my cheek and blowing a kiss to Liam before her eyes traveled from one boy to the next. “They are so beautiful!”
“Thanks Mom,” Liam said, and he leaned in and kissed my forehead.
“Okay, so we are dying here. Don’t keep us in the dark any longer. What are their names?” Marissa asked, Brody’s arms wrapped around her. I couldn’t help but see the big diamond engagement ring on her left finger, and I smiled.
“Well, do you want to tell them or should I?” Liam asked.
“How about you tell them Baby A’s name and I’ll tell them Baby B’s,” I said.
He nodded. “Okay, here goes. Everyone,” he said, holding our little boy so he was facing everyone, “we’d like you all to meet Grayson James Tanner.”
My eyes flicked to Grayson and my dad, and they both were beaming and looked like they might cry. “Oh son,” Grayson said, “you don’t know how much that means to me. Thank you,” he said, looking at me and winking.
My dad had tears in his eyes. “Oh Rory, what an honor. Thank you sweetheart,” he said, and I blew
a kiss to him.
“Okay, it’s my turn now,” I said. I held out my second little man out and said, “Everyone, meet Brody Nicholas Tanner.” I looked into Brody’s stunned expression, and we locked eyes. He smiled so brightly, and his eyes were brimming with tears. “Rory, that’s…that’s so amazing. Thank you,” he said, and unwrapped his arms from Marissa (who was crying too) and walked over to me. He leaned in and kissed my cheek before saying, “I love you so much, little sister. You’re babies are perfect, and no one in the world deserves this kind of happiness more than you. Thank you for this,” he said.
“No, thank you for being an amazing brother and someone that the boys can look up to. I love you too, big brother.”
He smiled and then leaned in and kissed little Brody on his head. “You wear our name proud, you hear, little man? You are named after both of your super cool uncles, so you have some big shoes to fill.”
Liam chuckled. “I think he’ll be up to the task. This little guy has some pretty big shoes to fill as well, being named after two pretty amazing grandpas. You boys have all kind of brains and bravery in your genes,” he said. Nick walked over to Liam in that moment and pulled him into a tight hug, making sure not to squeeze little Grayson’s head.
“This means a lot that you would name your son after me. Thank you, brother,” he said, and Liam smiled at him.
“You are welcome, man. All of you guys are great men and are very important to me and Rory, so there was no other choice in their names.”
I smiled at all of them and said, “We love you guys. All of you,” I said.
“So, does this mean when you have a girl she will be named after the three of us?” Marissa joked, and we all laughed.
I looked at Liam and smiled. “You see this? The boys are only two hours old and they already have us down for having more kids.”
“I want a whole soccer team, so bring it on,” he laughed, and leaned in and kissed me. My own little soccer team…that sounded like heaven.
Two Years Later
“Aww, don’t you boys look handsome in your little suits!” I said to Gray and little Brody. “Come here and let Mommy look at you.” I knelt down and they came walking over to me, their chubby little hands out. “It’s not fair to Uncle Brody for you two to look more handsome than he does.” They looked so cute in their little tuxes they were both sporting fresh little faux hawk haircuts thanks to me. Just like Liam and I hoped, they had his sandy blonde hair and facial features, but they had my chestnut colored eyes. “I think you two may very well be the cutest little guys on the planet,” I said as they giggled and rushed into my arms. Gray and little Brody had just turned two years old last month, and it was now April, and we were on our way into the city to Brody and Marissa’s wedding at the Waldorf Astoria.
Liam came walking out of the bathroom straightening his tie. He looked delectable in his crisp Armani suit. “Hey, what about me? Are you saying our boys are more handsome than their old dad?”
I picked up Gray and Liam knelt down and lifted little Brody onto his hip. “Of course they are. Although, you do run a very close second,” I said, and he leaned in to kiss me. “You look gorgeous, husband.”
“You don’t look so bad yourself, wife,” he said, running his eyes up and down my floor length rose pink bridesmaid dress. “I can’t wait to get you out of this dress later.”
“And I can’t wait for you to,” I winked at him. “However, you need keep that thought locked away because we need to go if we are going to get into the city and to the hotel on time. I still need to do Marissa’s hair and makeup.” I kissed the tip of Gray’s nose and said, “You boys ready to be ring bearers today?”
“I’m weady Mommy,” Gray said.
“Me too,” little Brody said, and Liam held out his hand so he could high five him.
“Okay, then let’s go! Liam, grab the bags,” I said. I walked out the front door with Gray and Liam, still holding little Brody, reached out and grabbed my tote with all my styling equipment and products in it and the boys’ diaper bag and followed me out, locking the door behind us. I put Gray in his car seat and made sure he had his Sippy cup while Liam fastened little Brody into his. I grabbed his Sippy cup and was handing it to him when I said, “Oh shi..I mean shoot.”
Liam smiled at me. “Nice save, baby. What is it? Did you forget something?”
“Yeah, I think I left the curling iron on in the downstairs bathroom. Can you go shut it off while I get the boys situated?”
“Sure thing, babe. I’ll be right out,” he said, and I got the boys comfortable and then climbed into the passenger seat, waiting with bated breath for Liam to come out of the house. I hadn’t left the curling iron on, but I did leave a little something on the sink waiting for him to see. After a few moments, the door flung open and he shut it quickly behind him as he half ran toward me, a gorgeous smile on his handsome face. I got out of the car and met him halfway and ran into his arms. He picked me up and twirled me around, my billowy dress blowing in the wind. He held up three little white sticks in front of us and said, “Baby, we’re pregnant?”
I nodded and smiled at him. “We’re pregnant,” I said, and he leaned in and kissed me passionately for a few moments. “I took the test three times just to be sure, but, yes. We’re having a baby!”
“When did you find this out?”
“Last week. I hope you aren’t mad, but I wanted to wait for a perfect moment to tell you, but with you working such long hours in the city last week I decided I would wait until I had you home for a few days, and today was the day. I also have something else for you,” I said, and walking back to the car I grabbed something out of my purse. “Here,” I said.
With trembling hands, he took an ultrasound picture from me and said, “You went to the doctor already?”
“Yes, I’m sorry, but Dr. Jennings only had one opening last week and I couldn’t get a hold of you in time. Are you mad?”
“No, baby, of course not! So, is everything okay?”
“Everything is great. I’m due on Christmas Eve,” I said, “and the good news is that there is only one baby in there this time.”
He smiled and traced the picture with his fingers. “So, this is our baby?”
“This is our baby.” He pulled me into his arms and kissed me again, and we both relished the moment for a minute before we heard two fussy two year olds making noise in the van. We smiled and broke apart and with one quick kiss we headed back to the car and he opened the door for me. As soon as he was in the driver’s seat, I smiled at him and said, “So, are you happy babe? We’re finally working on that soccer team.”
“Rory, I am so happy. I get to be a father again with the most wonderful mother in the world, and our boys are going to be big brothers. No one is happier than I am right now.” As he turned on the car and backed out of our driveway, we began our drive into the city toward Brody and Marissa’s wedding, he placed his hand on my belly and said, “And I want a girl this time.”
I giggled. “You do, do you?”
“Yep, and I have a good feeling already. I can feel the girl vibes coming out of this little tummy right now. We have our future Yankees back there, now I want our punk rock ballerina. She’s going to be rocking a hot pink tutu and everything,” he said.
I placed my hand over his. “Whatever you say, dad,” I said, and we drove on to watch as another perfect couple was starting their lives together. If Brody and Marissa only could feel one-tenth of the happiness I felt with Liam, our boys, and our new baby, then their lives would damn near perfect.
Life can be so funny sometimes. You think you are on the path to happiness and that everything is perfect, but sometimes you are thrown a hell of a curveball and things go the complete opposite of the way you plan. In my case, it took losing something so precious to finally push through and find my happiness. It took a lot of tears and heartbreak to get here, but looking back on all of it, in the end it was worth it. I wouldn’t change one single thing because o
nce you are given a life you never knew you were meant for, you will fight like hell to hold on to it.
The End
Acknowledgements
Wow…where do I even start? It has been such a crazy roller coaster since “Say Yes” was published, and I have met and connected to some truly wonderful people along the way. First and foremost though, I have to thank my husband James and our three beautiful daughters for allowing me to take this journey and giving me love and encouragement as I told Rory and Liam’s story.
Thank you to my family: my parents, siblings, cousins, uncles, aunts, nieces (thanks for calling me a dick for the Christmas chapter in “Say Yes” Kristen, lol), nephews, and everyone in between…I love you guys!
I want to say a HUGE thank you and send lots of love to my wonderful coworkers at Great Clips! I will say this until the day I die…I work with the most talented and amazing women (and men, lol) that have ever walked the earth! They always say “together we stand, divided we fall”, but I don’t believe that anymore. Our salon was divided and broken in a very devastating way this year, but we proved to the world that we won’t be broken and that we will conquer anything as long as we have each other. I love you all with my whole heart, and I am truly blessed and honored to be a part of our team. Tracey (our fearless leader), Danielle, MeLisa, Erica, Janelle, Wendy, Alisha, Chelsey, Tiffany, Crystal, Seth, Ronnie, and our beautiful angel Casey…you all have a place in my heart and I will carry you with me always. McWheel ROCKS!
Thank you to the amazing and talented authors I have met and connected with along the way that have encouraged me to keep going if I feel like giving up, and have given me tips to better myself all while trying to further their own work…you are incredible! Kimberly Biller, Georgie Summer, Danielle Taylor, Chris Weber, and Kat Collins (if I missed anyone, I’m so sorry, forgive me. It’s really late, lol)…you talented bunch of people have inspired me, pushed me, “pimped” me, and encouraged me along the way, and you all mean the world to me. You are some crazy talented people, and I am blessed to have crossed paths with you! We have got to meet up somewhere and do a round of shots!
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