Trust Me, I'm Trouble

by Mary Elizabeth Summer

  I shove Lily through the back door, into the alley. One shot clips the doorframe next to me. But once I register the layout of the alley, I realize why Spade let us run. She was herding us here. It’s a blind alley—no outlet at the other end. If we keep running, she’ll pick us off for sure.

  I slam the door behind me, wedging it closed along the hinge side with Aadila’s knife. It won’t hold Spade for long. Two, maybe three solid kicks to the door at most. We need to get up one of the walls and out of the alley. I’d kill for a Dumpster right now, but none presents itself.

  “What are we going to do?” Lily says, crying.

  “We’ve got to get on top of the building,” I say.

  “Are you crazy?” she asks, looking up.

  The shortest wall looks to be about twelve feet high. Been there, done that, but not without help. Which means only one of us is leaving this alley alive.

  “Lily, I need you to listen to me,” I say as I drag her to the wall. I blink my eyes to clear my vision, which has started speckling. Numbness spreads through my left arm as I hand her the blue-fairy flash drive. “I’ve done this before. It is possible. Just do everything I say and you’ll make it. Do you understand?”

  “You mean, we’ll make it,” she says fiercely.

  “Of course,” I say. “Step into my hands.” I cup my hands at knee level, and she dutifully steps into them.

  “Your shoulder,” she says.

  The bar’s back door shudders in its hinges as Spade kicks it.

  “I’m going to count to three, and you put your weight on me. Reach up as high as you can and pull. Got it?”

  Lily nods. Tears are flowing down both our faces at this point. I wouldn’t mind a little cavalry right now.

  “One, two, three.”

  Lily leans her full weight into my hands and reaches up the wall as ordered. My shoulder is both excruciatingly painful and somehow covered with a strange, cold emptiness. I dig deep, and with all the adrenaline and drive and need coursing through my body, I muster the strength to lift my hands up to chest height. I shuffle-pivot and grab Lily’s other foot, then cheerleader-press her up over my head. My arms are unsteady at best, and I can’t straighten the left one. My knees wobble, and I fight desperately against the urge to sink to the ground.

  “I can’t reach it!” Lily shouts, her voice despairing.

  I’m about to give up when suddenly the weight is gone. Lifted off my shoulders as if it never was. I collapse to the ground, shaking.

  I hear another kick, and the door breaks open. Spade is coming for me, and I hurt so much that I don’t care. I shiver and bleed and wrap thoughts of Dani around me like a blanket.

  “Get up, jang mi! Get up and jump! I will catch you!”

  Ralph. Ralph’s here. Finally. With superhuman effort, I push myself up to all fours. Shots ring out, and for a second, I think they’re aimed at me. But the sound is wrong. Ralph must be shooting at Spade, forcing her to take cover and buying me time.

  I use the hope that I might actually make it to fuel what’s left of my ability to move. I back up to the opposite wall, gauging the distance through long, slow blinks. It’s laughable to think I’m ever in a million years going to make it over that wall. But I see shadows moving at the top. I have to trust my team. They’ll get me out.

  I shut my eyes and take a deep breath—in through my nose, out through my mouth. And when I open my eyes again, I can see more clearly. I can feel desperation tensing my muscles. I will do this or I will die trying.

  I run as fast as I can on trembling legs, pumping my arms and focusing on the task ahead. About two feet from the wall, I launch myself into the air with the last of my remaining strength, reaching up as far as I can with my right hand. I smack painfully into the bricks and scrabble desperately for a fingerhold. But just as I start to slide down the wall, a strong hand grips my wrist and pulls. My face scrapes against the bricks, but it’s the best thing I’ve ever felt.

  “Give me your other hand!”

  Sam’s voice. I swing my left hand as high as I can. It isn’t very high, though. I try again, but my arm feels even more noodly than my legs do. I bite my lip, fighting giggles. I inch my hand up instead of throwing it and finally, finally Sam manages to grab it. He pulls, and it feels like someone is forcing sticks of dynamite into my shoulder. I scream.

  An eternity of seconds later, I collapse onto the roof with Lily, Sam, and Ralph. Ralph crouches next to me, examining my shoulder.

  “You’re late,” I say, slurring.

  “You’re shot,” he says back.

  And then I black out.

  The next time I wake up, I feel like I’ve been run over by a freight train hauling a herd of elephants. My eyes are gummed shut, and I can’t move either of my hands. Something about zip ties filters through my fuzzy brain. Something about…

  “Dani,” I say, forcing my eyes open and trying to sit up.

  “Don’t move, milaya. I’m here.”

  The fluorescent lights are blinding. Medical equipment crowds my bed, looming over me like aliens. I recognize some of it from when I visited Dani, but that’s hardly comforting.

  Dani’s holding my right hand, which is why I wasn’t able to move it. She’s sitting in a plastic chair next to my bed, dark circles under her eyes and a barely healing red gash across her jaw.

  “You’re awake,” I say, relaxing into the concrete mattress. I smile, though even smiling hurts. “How long was I out?”

  “Two days,” she says, a worried frown tightening her face.

  “How long have you been awake?”

  “Long enough to nearly have a heart attack when Sam told me you had been shot.” With a pained look, she drops her gaze to the scratchy white sheets. “I am sorry I was not there to keep you safe.”

  I inch my butt back so I can sit up taller. There are lots of things I could say that would all be true, but only one thing that will irritate her out of her guilt. “I wouldn’t have let you come anyway.”

  She scowls at me. I take the opportunity to pull her hand to my cheek. She doesn’t resist, but the pained look is back. I let our hands fall to the sheets, though I keep our fingers firmly entwined. We have all the time in the world for fixing us. I’ll chase every particle of her pain away if it takes every grift in the book, and she’ll keep me safe while I do it. But that’s a battle for another day. I can feel my energy ebbing, and there are things I need to know.

  “Did we get them?” I ask.

  “You almost got killed. You are lucky Spade is still on the run, or Ramirez would be here, grounding you to kingdom come.”

  “I’m okay with being grounded. I can’t imagine wanting to leave the house anyway. I may develop a healthy case of agoraphobia.”

  She smiles, but it’s guarded. There’s something she’s not telling me. Like a coward, I let it lie. For now, it’s enough that she’s awake. We all made it out alive this time. I just want to coast on that for a little while.

  “How’s Lily? She didn’t go home, did she?”

  “She is fine. Mrs. Ramirez is with her. You should stop worrying about everyone else and start worrying about yourself. You almost died.” Her expression twists when she says it. I try to squeeze her hand, but it’s a pathetic attempt. I’m still more noodle than bone.

  “I had everything under control at first,” I say. “My plan just sort of…fizzled.”

  “Fizzled?” Dani says, her eyebrows shooting up. “You had to be airlifted to the hospital. Airlifted.” She grips my hand with both of hers now. “I need you to stop putting yourself in these situations. Please.”

  I want to promise her whatever she wants. I almost do, that’s how hopped up on narcotics I am. But I know that I can’t keep that promise. Certainly not with the deal I made with Sister Rasmussen, my grandmother, whatever. So I continue my questions as if she hadn’t spoken.

  “What about Joseph and Aadila?”

  “Both dead.”

  I should probably feel bad abou
t that, but I can’t say I really do. They were truly evil. More so than Spade, even. I won’t be crying at their funerals.

  “I got out of zip ties,” I say, trying to lighten the mood. “Aren’t you proud of me?”

  “I am always proud of you.” She strokes my hair. “Whether you are a grifter or a gardener. But I prefer gardener.”

  “I’ll consider it,” I say, rolling my left shoulder experimentally. A sharp pressure stabs the muscle but no pain. I eye the IV bag with more respect this time. “What did the doctor say about my shoulder?”

  “Three hours of surgery to get the bullet out and repair the damage. You owe Ramirez about a million dollars.”

  Ugh. Fantastic. “And you? What did the doctor say about you?”

  “Full recovery, for now. There’s a risk of infection, but if I stay on antibiotics and away from large bodies of water, I should be fine. Moderate concussion. Nothing serious enough to keep me here.”

  I study Dani’s face, drinking in her features. She’s haggard and worn, but seems okay. I pull my hand free of hers to trace the cut along her jaw. She doesn’t pull away this time, which kind of surprises me, actually. She closes her eyes and shivers, tension sloughing off her to reveal the tired, relieved, damaged girl underneath.

  “I love you.” It just sort of pops out of my mouth. I didn’t mean to say it. But now that I have, I feel so free. It almost doesn’t matter what she says back. Almost.

  She leans forward, resting her forehead against mine. “Ya tebe kohayu.” Then she kisses me. Finally kisses me. And it’s different from any other kiss I’ve ever experienced. It’s softer and sweeter and at the same time there’s something aching in it.

  I reach up to touch her face, to pull her closer, but she breaks the kiss. I start to protest, but the look in her eyes when she opens them instantly silences me. It’s unguarded, unwavering, overwhelming. I shiver with exhilaration under just her gaze. But I want more.

  I kiss her again, cradling her face, taking care not to brush her cut. I don’t want anything disrupting this. I want the world to fall away. I’ve saved it twice now. It owes me this.

  Dani deepens the kiss. Not too much, but my body starts to protest anyway. I ignore it. I slide my good hand around her neck to draw her closer. She wraps her arms around my waist and pulls me up, supporting me like she always has since before we even met.

  The kiss lasts forever and is over in a flash. Time moves funny when we’re this focused on each other. “Say it in English this time,” I whisper, closing my eyes, ignoring my pain.

  “I love you, milaya,” she says. “I have loved you my whole life. I just didn’t know it.”

  I sigh happily, a drop sliding down my cheek as I beam up at her. “Then none of it matters. We made it. We’re here.”

  Her smile fades as cares pile back on her shoulders. I could kick myself for reminding her, but it had to happen sometime. At least we can face the fallout together. I’m probably still trouble, but she will always be Dani. She will always have my back. And I can do anything as long as she’s with me.

  I let go of her neck to take her hand. “I’m sorry about the Chevelle,” I say.

  She lifts my hand up to her lips and kisses it softly before pulling it to her chest. “You should have left me,” she says quietly. “You could have died trying to save me.”

  “Don’t be dumb. I would have died anyway without you. Just slower.”

  “Don’t say that,” she says, her voice rough. “You have the Ramirezes, your friends. You would be fine without me.”

  She’s rubbing my hand, working up to something. The drugs can’t mask the alarm climbing my spine. I almost ask her not to tell me. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to handle whatever’s causing that look on her face. But bad things only get worse when you hide from them.

  “Why does it sound like you’re trying to say good-bye?” I say, panic edging my voice.

  She opens her mouth, but it’s not her who answers.

  “Because she is,” Petrov says as he saunters into the doorway of my room and leans casually against the frame.

  A machine next to me starts beeping faster.

  “Petrov.” My fingers fumble for the nurse’s call button.

  “By all means, send for help. Unfortunately for you, I haven’t broken any laws since I was released from prison three days ago.”

  “You were released?” I gape at him. How is this possible? He was supposed to be incarcerated for the rest of his natural life.

  He straightens, adjusting his jacket lapels and fiddling with his left shirt cuff. “I found the long hours of idleness in prison didn’t agree with me. And I still have a friend or two in high places.”

  “It would have taken a presidential pardon…” But even as I say it, I know it’s not true. I grifted my way into an off-limits area of a high-security facility with almost no effort. Getting out would be tougher, but not impossible for someone with Petrov’s connections.

  “You’d be surprised who owes whom favors,” he says.

  I scramble for an angle, my normal grifter instincts dulled and slow from the drugs. “We’re in a public place. You can’t just—”

  “Calm your pretty head, Ms. Dupree. I’m not here to kill you. Dani and I have come to an arrangement.”

  Oh, god. The deal.

  “Whatever she promised you, I will double it if you leave us alone.”

  He laughs. “You forget. I’m familiar with your negotiation strategy—you overpromise and underdeliver. Besides, Dani’s giving me exactly what I want. You can’t double that.”

  “What are you giving him?” I ask her.

  She looks miserable but resolute. I remember what Han said about her mulishness. I’m not going to be able to talk Dani out of this. But that doesn’t mean I won’t try.

  “I promised to go with him. To work for him again,” she says.

  “What?” I turn back to Petrov. “But why would you want that? She betrayed you. She shot you. She hates you.”

  “Exactly,” he says, his triumphant smirk making me sick. “What I want is revenge. I can be persuaded not to kill you, as long as the price is right. And today, my price is your suffering. I thought, what better way to make you suffer than to take someone you care about away from you? And forcing Dani to work for me, the person she loathes most in the world, well…that’s two for one.”

  “You can’t do this, Dani,” I say, pleading with my entire being. “We can beat him like we did before. You don’t need to protect me from him.”

  “Yes, I do. This was the bargain I struck for the name of the first contractor, and for Petrov’s assurance that he would not come after you when he was released.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” I accuse, though I don’t have the right to be angry. I guessed at the time that she wasn’t giving me the whole truth. I should have forced it out of her then. “I can’t let you do this. I need you too much, Dani.” It kills me that we’re having this conversation in front of Petrov, but at this point, I’d do anything to keep her from leaving.

  “My duty has always been to protect you.” The even from me hangs between us, and I want to tear the words to shreds.

  “Please, don’t do this,” I whisper, hopeless tears staining my face. “Please stay.”

  She rests her forehead against mine, then kisses me lightly, lingeringly. “Do not look for me,” she says. “Just live your life. Be happy.”

  I swallow hard. “It’s like you don’t even know me.”

  “At least try,” she says, smiling weakly.

  “You’re really doing this?”

  She squeezes my hand. “Good-bye, milaya.”

  Then she follows Petrov through the door and out of my life.

  “Keep your eye on the lady.”

  I show the Queen of Hearts to Lily, and then start juggling the cards on the rolling bedside table between us. The concrete bed is starting to feel more like a pile of boulders the longer I stay here. I get to check out tomorr
ow, a week after checking in. And I’ll never again be so happy to see Mike’s guest room.

  Though happy is not really a word I’d use to describe my general state of being. It had taken Angela one look at my wrecked face after Dani’s departure to realize something was desperately wrong. She’d called in reinforcements, but there was nothing we could do. Petrov had told me the truth: he’d been legally released and was free to come and go as he pleased.

  “I don’t get how this works,” Lily says, drawing my attention back to the game. “It seems like the player should win every time.”

  It does seem like that, doesn’t it? It seems like I should win every time. I am the best grifter in Chicago, after all. I should have seen through Joseph’s ruse. I should have seen Petrov coming.

  “Where’s the lady?” I say, pushing back my hurt. She points to a card and I flip it over. Jack of Spades.

  “What?” she says, incredulous. “I was watching really closely that time. I swear you put the queen there.”

  “It’s a trick,” I explain. “When I’m juggling the cards, I pick up two cards in one hand. Like this.” I show her the correct hand position with one card directly on top of the other. “When I’m moving fast, I can drop either the bottom card or the top card in that hand, and it’s impossible for you to tell which one I dropped. Like this.” I slow down the move for her. “And even if you happened to pick the right card by accident, I can switch it without you realizing it and show you the wrong card.”

  “It’s like magic,” Lily says, impressed.

  I shake my head. “The magic part is hooking the mark. If you’re good, you can get a mark to believe he can win even when he knows it’s a scam.”

  I shuffle the cards into the deck and ache for Dani. I remember how it felt when she kissed me. Pain steals my breath, and not for the first time I regret a whole host of choices. I don’t know what I was thinking. I stupidly believed I could love, even when I know love’s not in my cards.