Being Lovers

by Rachel Carrington

  Hazel eyes soften, and he slides one hand alongside my cheek. “I’m not going to get hurt.”

  I’m not ready to let him go yet. “I can handle a lot of things, Adam. Losing you isn’t one of them.” And with those words, I crack open the door to my heart, giving him a look inside.

  “You’re not going to lose me.” He places a gentle kiss against my lips. “I promise.”

  Though I wish I could hold onto him, I release him. “Be careful.” My voice is barely above a whisper.

  “Always.” One more kiss, and he’s gone, slipping out into the bright sunshine that might as well be the mouth of a lion.

  I’m not good at hiding. Even when Mark had been on one of his drunken rampages, I never hid from him. So it takes every ounce of strength I have to crawl down into the floor and huddle against the seat. I hit the speed dial on my phone, and when Francine answers, I spill out my fear, anger, and frustration in one long rush of connected words.

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa! You’re where?” She tries to make sense of my ramblings.

  “Trapped on side of the road. Adam is out there with a gun, but he’s no match for a sniper. He’s got me hiding inside the truck while he tries to take on someone he can’t see.”

  “Has he called Gary? Is help on the way?” Now she sounds as frantic as I do. In the background, I hear the jangle of keys.”

  “He called Gary, and don’t even think about coming, Francine. We’ll be okay.” I could only hope. “I just needed someone to listen.”

  “I’m always willing to do that, honey, but help is more important right now.”

  “It should only take Gary about thirty minutes or so to get here if he floors it.” I lean up in an attempt to see Adam outside the window, but I don’t have enough leverage. “Dammit.”

  “What’s wrong?” The words come in soft huffs of air, telling me Francine is on the move. I don’t have to ask where she’s headed. Even though I told her to stay put, she’ll come looking for us anyway. That’s just what friendship is to her.

  “I can’t see Adam, but he’s probably on the other side of the truck.” I shift my gaze to the rear window but still can’t see his broad shoulders. I silently pray he hasn’t gone looking for the sniper. When I hear a car engine start over the phone, I curse. Loudly. “Francine, if you come out here, it’s just one more person for Adam to worry about. For me to worry about.”

  “As much as I want to, I’m not coming. I know I’d just be a distraction and in the line of fire. But I am going to the station so I can keep tabs on what’s going on.”

  I breathe a little easier which is ridiculous considering I’m still crouched down on the floorboard of Adam’s truck while he wanders around hunting for a sniper whose bullet could find him any second. The thought causes my heart to lurch to my throat. I have to stay inside. But my need to make sure Adam is safe is too overwhelming.

  “Call me back when you get to the station, Francine. I have to make sure Adam’s okay.”

  “Honey, he’s probably more okay than you will be if you take your ass outside that truck.” I think I hear hysteria in her voice, but I could be imagining it. “Promise me you’ll stay put.”

  “I can’t do that. Just call me.”

  “No! You don’t hang up this phone, Emily. You don’t get to call me, worry the shit out of me, then disappear. You can’t do that to me.”

  Now I know I’m not imagining the hysteria. “Okay. Okay. I’m not hanging up.” But I’m not staying inside. As quietly as I can, I open the passenger door.

  “What the hell are you doing?” The boom of Adam’s voice startles me. I shriek and throw my phone at the opening. “And who are you talking to?”

  Dimly, I can hear Francine calling my name, but he’s caught my cell and is now holding it in the palm of his hand like it’s C-4. “You shouldn’t be on this. This might as well be a homing device. We don’t know if this guy can track us.” He puts the phone to his ear. “Francine, Emily’s okay, but we need to stay off the phones.”

  I’m not sure he gave Francine the chance to say anything before he disconnected the call. I push up onto the seat and yank my phone from his hand. “You didn’t tell me that before.”

  “You heard me tell Gary to keep quiet.”

  “I heard you say maintain silence, but I’m supposed to know that means I can’t call anyone? And you told me to call Gary in the first place.”

  He looks at me as if I’m deliberately trying to test his patience. “Emily, please. Just stay down.”

  Tires roll on the asphalt, coming up behind Adam who whirls and directs his weapon at the windshield of the approaching vehicle before realizing the driver is Gary. “Great. Let’s get you out of here.” He lifts me out of the seat and lowers my feet to the ground. “Keep low and lie down in the back seat.”

  While I crawl in behind the caged windows, Gary asks if I’m okay. Before I can respond, Adam draws his attention. “Less than twenty minutes here. Good job.”

  “Figured you wouldn’t want me to stop for traffic lights.”

  Adam closes the door and walks around to the passenger seat. Gary looks over his shoulder at me. “Sorry about the cage. Didn’t think to bring the unmarked car.”

  “It’s no big deal. Thanks for coming.”

  “Are you kidding? When the boss snarls, we come running.” A grin erases the worry from his face. “You sure you’re okay? You look a little pale.”

  “As good as I can be with people shooting at me.”

  He grimaces. “I hear you.” After Adam gets into the car, Gary continues the conversation. “Maybe you should think about getting out of town for a few days.”

  “What?” Adam’s gaze threatens to rip the skin off his deputy’s face. “What are you talking about?”

  “I was just saying that it might be a good idea.” On the defensive, Gary hunches over the steering wheel. “It certainly couldn’t hurt.”

  “Emily isn’t going anywhere.” He practically snarls each syllable.

  “Emily can answer for herself.” I scoot forward to the edge of the back seat. “And I don’t think running would do any good anyway. He or she could just wait until I return.” I don’t know how much Adam has told him so I keep quiet about the sniper’s intention.

  Adam hasn’t taken his eyes off Gary’s face. I’m sure this is a topic of conversation that will come up later when I’m not around. “Or you could be followed.” He looks over his shoulder at me, and I sigh.

  Though I knew the sniper’s endgame, I had to wonder how he’d been good enough to hit three targets at Broomtown’s jail a few days ago and hadn’t hit me yet. Maybe it’s a game he’s playing, like a cat with a terrified mouse. He’s waiting for me to run because that’s when the mouse always loses.

  “How about you keep the suggestions about Emily’s next move to yourself?”

  The bite in Adam’s tone brings me back to the conversation. I shouldn’t be surprised he hadn’t waited for some privacy to broach the subject with his deputy.

  Gary coughs and nods. “I was just thinking out loud. Didn’t see any harm in it.”

  “Now you know differently.”

  “Adam, please stop.” We’re all on edge, but Adam is so tense I’m sure his muscles would snap if it were possible. But Gary is only offering solutions any other sane person would make. He doesn’t deserve a dose of his boss’ temper.

  Gary’s gaze meets mine in the rearview. “It’s no problem, Emily. I spoke out of turn.”

  “It’s not like you suggested I paint a bulls-eyes on my chest.” I lean as close to Adam’s right ear as the cage will allow and whisper, “ease up.”

  “No, he just suggested you run,” Adam snaps, ignoring my command. He’s clearly not ready to let this go. “Running is exactly what this bastard wants you to do. If Deputy Snyder was thinking like a cop, he’d know that.”

  The tips of Gary’s ears redden, and I feel sorry for him. He clears his throat several times before mumbling an apology that
doesn’t erase the glower from Adam’s face.

  It’s going to be a long ride back to Juniper Springs.

  Chapter Four

  “Tomorrow night, you and I are going to the YWCA. They’ve got self-defense course two nights a week.” Francine takes a slurp of coffee and peers at me over the rim. “That is, if you think you’re ready.”

  I swivel on the counter bar stool and shrug. “I don’t know how much good it will do against a bullet.”

  “It’s not about this guy, and yes, I’m convinced he’s a guy. You need to feel like you’re in control of at least some part of your life.” She refills my mug of coffee then plops down beside me.

  The diner has been closed for thirty minutes, but we’re waiting for Art to finish up in the kitchen. He’s bellowed several times demanding that Francine help him, but she’s successfully ignoring him even though his grumbles are growing louder.

  “Coffee’s a little strong.” I know I’m changing the subject, but my nerves are so frayed I need to talk about something, anything but the threat looming over me. I push the mug back and slip off the stool. “I’m going to head on over. I’ll see you in a few minutes.”

  “Wait a second.” Francine leaps off the upholstered stool before I can make it around behind the counter. “Why don’t we both help Art then we can all walk over together?” She’s acting jumpy now which makes me suspicious.

  I study her for a moment, noticing her gaze is flicking about the diner like she’s scared to look at me. “What’s going on, Francine?” When she doesn’t answer and still won’t look at me, I put the puzzle pieces together in my mind. “Did Adam tell you to keep a watch on me, to not let me out of your sight?”

  She looks sheepish at first then shrugs. “You can’t blame him. He’s worried about you.”

  “And he wants to control everything. I don’t think he realizes how…” I break off and shake my head. I can’t explain how I feel to Francine. Adam’s the one I need to talk to. I don’t think he even realizes how his concern for me is another form of smothering, and I’ve had enough of that to last me a lifetime.

  Francine’s heavy sigh blows a napkin across the countertop. “Have you talked to him about it?”

  “I thought we’d reached an agreement, but I can see he’s determined to make sure I don’t go anywhere alone even though that’s not realistic. You aren’t my keeper, and he can’t be either…no matter how much he cares.”

  “He’s scared,” she points out. “I think that’s not something he’s used to feeling…at least not in a relationship.”

  Though I notice her qualifier, I don’t push it. “I know.” And I do. Adam isn’t trying to take over my life, but he’s succeeding anyway. “Does he know about the self-defense course?”

  “I didn’t run it by him.” She walks to the kitchen, pausing to look over her shoulder. “There’s a big difference in how Adam cares and Mark said he cared, Emily. Adam doesn’t want to control you; he wants to control the situation. Since he can’t do that, he figures keeping a watch on you will save his sanity.”

  “So how are things going with you and Gary?” I need a subject change…at least until I can talk with Adam.

  Her nose wrinkles. “Not good. He hasn’t called in three days. Says he’s been busy at work.” Her lower lip juts out. “How hard is it to pick up a phone long enough to let someone know you’re still alive?”

  “I think Adam has given him extra duties.” I keep quiet about the reason why. Surprisingly, Gary had a few choice words to say to Adam once they got back to the station the day before last, which led to Adam threatening to fire him. The men had gone nose to nose until Gary had the common sense to back down.

  “Well, I hope he’s getting extra pay for it.” Francine dumps the remainder of the coffee into the industrial sink. “God knows he’s going to need them for the flowers he’ll have to buy me to get back into my good graces.”

  “Have the two of you…” I pause. It’s really none of my business, but that never stops Francine.

  She spins around, her mouth hanging open slightly. “Are you really asking me if he and I have had sex?”

  “Don’t look so surprised. You were nosy as hell about what was going on between me and Adam. I think I have a right to pry.”

  A grin spreads across her face. “Yeah, I guess you’re right, and the answer to your question is no. Not yet.”

  “Not yet. That sounds promising. You have a plan in mind?”

  “You mean do I plan to seduce him and have my way with him? Nope. I’m leaving that up to him. If he wants some of this, he’s going to have to man up.”

  A rattling at the front door makes us both jump. Francine is the first to recognize the visitor is Adam, and she curses all the way to the glass. “Dammit, Adam. How about calling first and letting us know you’re on your way? You do know the number. As much as you’ve called here, there’s no doubt about that.”

  He steps inside, his coat dusted with a fine layer of snow. “I tried Emily’s phone twice. I thought you’d both be home by now. When she didn’t answer, I came here.” His hazel-eyed gaze seeks my face, but he doesn’t speak. My expression must have given him more information than any words I can say. “Do we need to talk?”

  Francine slaps the back of his shoulder. “I’d say that’s an understatement. Emily, can you lock up? I think Art’s done in the kitchen, and he’s been all antsy about walking me home and shit. I’ll see you in a few.”

  “Sure.” I don’t take my eyes off Adam’s face. Once the back door slams shut, and I can’t hear Art’s bitching any longer, I offer Adam some coffee even though I’d have to make another pot.

  “No. I’d rather know what you have on your mind.”

  “You asked Francine not to let me out of her sight, didn’t you?”

  “I did.”

  “Adam, no one can watch me 24/7. It’s just not reasonable.”

  He takes off his hat and dusts it against his leg. “So I’m not supposed to even try?”

  “You’re supposed to tell me when you are trying.” I want to be angry with him, but he looks so frustrated and helpless. This is eating at him, and he’d rather I hide out in his house than work. So I walk toward him instead and take both of his hands in mine. “You can’t control this, Adam.”

  “That’s what’s killing me.” He wraps me in his arms, and the scent of leather and aftershave envelop me. Warm and strong, he offers safety and comfort. And I could stay here forever.

  “I know you want to protect me.” I rub my cheek against his soft cotton shirt. “But all the protection in the world won’t save me if this guy is determined enough.”

  “Stop.” Adam jerks back and clasps my face in his hands. “Don’t say that. He’s not going to kill you.”

  My hands curl around his wrists. “Listen to me. If a thief is determined enough, he’s going to get your laptop or tablet no matter how many bars you have on your window. Some thieves are better at stealing than people are at protecting what they own. And before you say it, I know we’re not talking about thieves, but it’s the same concept. I could be wrapped in Kevlar, but if that sniper’s good enough, he’ll find an uncovered area.”

  He crushes me in his arms again, and this time, his arms aren’t as steady. “I can’t listen to this, Emily. I won’t listen to it. You’re too important to me to just give up. I will do whatever it takes, use whatever means necessary to keep you safe. If that means I have to stay with you every day and every night, that’s what I’ll do.”

  Because my eyes are full of tears, I don’t look up at him. As his hands sweep up and down my spine, I rest against him, my soul bleeding into his. With him, I’m strong, stronger than I’ve ever been before. But facing this killer may be something I have to do alone.

  I can’t explain why I have this feeling. Maybe it’s instinct. This sniper has taken out people around me but hasn’t hit me. He’s had plenty of opportunities. In the truck. Outside the church at Mark’s funeral. Through one
of the stained glass windows while I sat on the pew beside Adam. He’s a good shot so I don’t doubt he could have hit me from any of those locations.

  He’s been paid to finish a job, but I’m not so sure he wants me dead right away. He’s making this into a game, where he makes the rules and moves us around like pawns on a chessboard. I don’t know what to do to take back control, but I’m so close to having a life, a real life, that I’m willing to do anything to learn.

  I push back from his chest so I can see his face. “If you’re with me twenty-four seven, you increase the chances of becoming a victim yourself.” I need to be the logical one since Adam has clearly vacated the realm of reality.

  “I can’t focus on my job when I know you’re not protected.”

  “Adam.” I sigh and close my eyes for a moment to gather my thoughts. “We don’t have any control over the sniper’s next move.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m not going to listen to any bullshit about if it’s meant to be. Your death isn’t meant to be.” He touches his forehead to mine. “You deserve to have a life before you lose it.”

  I know I won’t be able to convince him to power down his protection mode. It’s abundantly clear that’s in his DNA. “I know we have to deal with this until the sniper is found, but can we not talk about any more tonight?”

  Still holding me close, he nods, but I feel the reluctance in every muscle of his body. He wants to continue the conversation on the off chance he can convince me to hide out. Once upon a time, he might have succeeded, but I’m a different person now. I have just as much fear as I did the day I shot Mark, but I’m not letting it control me.

  Not this time.

  I’m flat on my back looking up at Francine’s grinning face. She’s taken me down four times in a row. Apparently, she’s gotten the hang of this self-defense stuff better than I have.

  “Miss Jacobs, you’re not paying attention.” David, our instructor, is a balding retired cop with a friendly face that clearly hides his true personality. He looms over top of me with a disapproving look. “You’re letting the attacker get the upper hand.”