Jared took a walk down the lane. He beat himself up for making such a grave, tactical error. His brother Marcus would insist he honor the bond. His heart struggled with the very idea of letting her go when they got to London. He’d never gotten along so well with anyone before. She enjoyed fishing and could skin a hare without casting up her accounts. Lucy was everything and more he could wish for in a wife.
But she was a duke’s daughter. And not just any duke, the Duke of Diamonte, also known as the Black Diamond. The evil, treasonous man who now resided in France, and was considered, for all intents and purposes, dead. Not that the Duke need have any input into Lucy’s life. She was of age.
Maybe that was why he needed to fetch her from Scotland. So she could take her rightful place in society. She probably possessed a trust fund and could live as she chose. She didn’t need to select a husband, although why any man would not want her…
The very thought of any man marrying Lucille Cameron was like a kick in the gut. Or would she have to return to her name of Lady Penelope Diamonte? He couldn’t think of her as Penelope.
Sleep eluded Jared as he wrestled with the truth of the matter. He was in love with the daughter of an arch-enemy of Great Britain. Even apart from that, he was too far below her touch. And even if he weren’t, he could not imagine saddling her with the scars in his mind or his body. He fought the urge to cry. What woman would want him?
With those depressing thoughts, he returned to the stable and found a corner in Rogue’s stall. He curled up to sleep for the night.
~*~
Lucy bolted the door after her meal was brought to her. She sat down but lacked an appetite. She was Mrs. Allendale. She liked the sound of that. But Jared made it clear he didn’t want to be married to her. She banked the fire and crawled into bed. She felt more alone than ever before in her life.
Would any man really love her? Was the vicar right? She may be English in her heritage, but she was by necessity, Scottish, and she could not cut off such a significant part of her existence to please any man, especially one that represented the aristocracy her father was a part of.
Why couldn’t Jared love her? Was it her Scottish accent? Her lack of sophistication? It was difficult to act the proper English lady while traipsing through the highlands and camping along riverbanks, fishing, hunting, and working as a team to survive. Did that quell any possible ardor Jared could have for her? He requested no kissing. Was it because he found her kisses distasteful? She’d thought he enjoyed them.
But he called her his pixie sprite and now pixie bride. His eyes appeared warmer as if he really cared. Was it all an act to placate her until he could dump her on the steps of Whitehall to fend for herself? Had she made the biggest mistake of her life when she’d entrusted herself to this man’s care?
He would do everything to get her physically alive and well to London. She was less certain how well her heart would survive.
~*~
A knock sounded on her door in the early morning hours. She jumped out of bed and ran to the door, but remembered Jared’s admonition to not unlock it. “Who is it?”
“Mrs. Allendale, your husband is on a rampage in the stable. Can you calm him?”
Lucy grabbed her cloak and shoved her bare feet in her boots, unlocked the door, and flew down the steps behind the proprietor of the inn. She entered the barn and found Jared holding a pitchfork and keeping two young stable boys at bay.
“Stay back. Don’t come any closer. I know what kind of game you play.” Jared’s face was contorted in anger. His eyes were bloodshot and his jaw clenched tight.
Lucy wasn’t sure what to do. It was one thing to kiss a man in the woods, but this was an entirely different situation. And now there was an audience. She turned to the proprietor. “He suffered horribly in the war. If you would all leave, I will take care of this.”
“Are ye sure, lassie? What if he harms ye?”
“He’s my husband and would nae seek to harm me. I’ll be safe enough. ‘Tis my own fault for banishing him here after our fight this evening.”
The proprietor grinned. “Aye, spent many a night in the stables myself.” He called off the boys and they left the barn.
Jared glared at her. “Who are you?”
“A friend.”
“I’m a lone soldier and men do not have women for friends.” In spite of his words he put down the pitchfork but still held the handle.
She took a step closer to him.
“Stay back.”
“I don’t think so, Jared.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You can’t hurt me more than you already have.”
His eyes squinted as he frowned. She took another step. And another. And another. She was arm’s length from him. “Will you give me the pitchfork?”
“Are you a fairy?”
“Do you believe in fairies?”
He shook his head and frowned.
“You call me your pixie sprite.”
His eyes softened as he looked at her. “You look like one. Do you cause trouble?”
“Nae, I cause no trouble.” She took one more step and reached up to touch his whiskered cheek. She held his gaze. “May I kiss you, Captain?”
He responded by putting his free arm around her and dropping his head. His lips found hers and she wondered if he had eaten as he tasted her as if he were starved. The pitchfork dropped. She pulled back and let her hand fall from his face to his chest. “Will you come back to our room for the night?”
He nodded, and she took his hand to lead him out of the stable. She walked past the proprietor and the stable hands with nary a word spoken. It was as if Jared didn’t even notice them. She led him up the stairs and once in the room she locked the door.
He spun her around, pulled her into his arms, and kissed her.
“Jared?” She managed to speak as she came up for air. “Come sit by the fire.”
He followed, sat, and pulled her into his lap. His strong arms held her close as he rested his head on her chest. Lucy’s earlier anger dissipated as she held him close and caressed his head, letting her hands enjoy his soft hair. He relaxed, and his grip loosened.
She struggled to rise and drag him down to the blankets on the floor. She covered him up, took off her cloak and boots, and slid back into the bed wondering what had happened to her brave soldier.
7
Jared awoke to the galloping of horses’ hooves across his skull. He rolled on to his back and his hands touched the soft blanket. On one side the fire blazed, taking the early morning chill out of at least this side of the room. He turned his head the other way to find Lucy standing in front of a small mirror, braiding her hair. She was already dressed for travel.
He rose to lean on one elbow. “I don’t feel well. Would it be acceptable to you if we spent one more night here?”
Lucy stopped her movements and dropped her arms. She came to sit on a chair near his pallet.
“Do you remember anything about last night?”
“No. Wait. Didn’t I sleep in the stables? How did I arrive here?”
“You took exception to the stable hands and threatened them. I’m afraid that the landlord has requested, nae, insisted, on our departure today.”
Jared fell back on the pillow which amplified the pounding in his head. “Did I hurt anybody?”
“Nae, they came to get your wife and I was able to get you to put down your pitchfork and join me here in our room.”
“Oh, Luce, I’m sorry. I didn’t—”
“Take advantage of me? No. You like me well, but fell back asleep before you could do any more beyond a few kisses.”
Jared groaned. These night terrors were exactly why he could never marry anyone, much less her. He was too dangerous. The realization stung. All his best laid plans were being obliterated on this trip. “I had better prepare for our departure.”
Lucy frowned. There were dark circles under her eyes.
“Hey,” he knelt before her, “are you
unwell?”
She glanced at him but didn’t smile. “All is as it should be. Shall I await you downstairs?”
“No.” He rose, threw his things in his bag, and grabbed both his and hers as they departed the room.
Jared stopped at the desk on the way out and motioned for the proprietor’s attention. “My wife tells me I was a bother last night. I apologize for any harm I may have done.”
The proprietor shook his head. “A little lost sleep is all, and my boys may have lost an inch of growth, but ‘twill be fine.”
Jared placed a generous amount of coin on the desk. “For your hospitality to my wife and me, as well as for your troubles. I thank you.”
“Best wishes to you both on your journey.” With that his hand reached out to brush the coins into his open palm.
Their horses awaited them in the front of the inn, fully saddled. Jared added their bags. Both of them mounted. They followed a path that took them slightly north through the valley between some mountains until they could reach Braemar.
By mid-day, Jared was ready to quit. He stopped by the river’s edge, bent alongside, and instead of drinking, dunked his head into the cold water. He pulled it up and let the water fling from his hair as he gasped for air.
Lucy dismounted and was splashed by his impromptu bath.
Jared lay back on the grass. “Lucy, I’m sorry I let you down.”
Her eyes narrowed, and wrinkles appeared on her forehead. “How have you failed me?”
“I trapped you in an unwanted marriage, dragged you across country, and burdened you with my nightmares.”
Lucy dropped by his side and with one hand pulled hair off his cheek. “How is your headache?”
“Would you be a sweetheart and shoot me now?” He closed his eyes and groaned.
“And where would I be? All alone in the wilderness with two horses. How am I to get to London if you are not leading the way?”
“No one would miss me,” he murmured.
He felt the sting of her hand on his cheek before he realized what was happening. He opened his eyes.
She rose to her feet and paced. “You infuriate me, Captain Allendale. Your morose display does not do you credit. You cajole and then insult. You are ill, and I am sorry for it, but it gives you no excuse to belittle the love some people have for you.” She growled at him and stomped off into the woods.
He was still resting when she returned, dumped a pile of sticks in the clearing, and started a fire. She said not a word.
“Luce?”
She acted as if he wasn’t even there. She prepared some fish she caught by herself, prayed, and ate at the fire. She never invited him over although she left some for him.
“Luce?”
He finally rose, went to the woods to relieve himself, and returned to eat. He was weak, and his head still pounded. His heart hurt as well. He was unclear about what had caused her tantrum. Her lack of chatter was now a chilling reality, rather than a comfort.
She hobbled the horses and lay down, turning her back against the fire.
“Luce? I’m sorry. I’m not even sure what I’ve done, but I suspect it is more than just a delay in our trip and me getting sick.”
Silence met his words.
Her breathing slowed. How could she do that? Throw a fit, say nothing, and then fall asleep? He hoped he would rest tonight. The sooner they got to London the better.
~*~
More days of silence passed. She said not a word. At least not during the day. He had a suspicion she quieted his night terrors once or twice with soft words in her sweet Scottish brogue. He wanted so much more than that.
They finally reached their destination of Braemar.
~*~
Lucy was done. She was grateful for the bath, the warm food, and fresh baked bread. Oh, and tea! Blessed tea was a welcome treat. She would sleep well.
This night Jared arranged for two rooms, although he still proclaimed them husband and wife.
She climbed into the bed and savored the pillow. She missed the stars above, but not the bugs that tried to crawl on her. She shivered at the thought. London seemed to be an ideal place to be if it meant comfort.
She had been comfortable at Aldourie. She missed her view of Loch Ness. She had been raised to not be superstitious, but she’d heard of instances where people had spied the monster and someone close to them died. She sat up suddenly, heart racing. Jared! Was Jared the one who would die?
Calm down, God is in control, not some silly monster that chooses to break the surface of the water on a given day with no clue who will be watching. Keep Jared safe, Lord. I need him—I love him.
The next morning shone bright and clear as they remounted to head to Blairgowrie, which would be their longest journey to date and would be spent largely in the mountain passes.
Jared tried to wheedle her into talking.
She finally reached her limit.
“Come on, Luce, I thought we were friends, at least. Talk to me.” He leaned against a tree with his makeshift fishing pole.
“What do you want me to say?”
“Why are you angry? Doesn’t the Bible say to not let the sun go down on your anger?”
“This time of year, the sun doesn’t really go down at all.” She wiggled her own pole.
Jared rolled his eyes and tipped his head back to rest against the tree bark. “Don’t be difficult.”
“Difficult?” She put her pole down. “You have no idea just how difficult I can be.”
“Luce, it wasn’t a challenge.”
She clenched and unclenched her hands and then walked downstream a few paces. She stood there, looking up at the mountains where some wild goats grazed.
He pulled his pole out and followed her until he came right behind her. “Hey, my sweet pixie wife, can’t we talk about this? The silence is killing me.”
“Hmph! I thought that was what you wanted. To die single and alone.”
“I never said that.”
“You implied it. You offer me an annulment, refuse to be with me, and after all that you want me to shoot you because you had a headache. Where does that leave me?” She turned and faced him with tears streaming down her face. “What about what I want? I’ve given up everything to follow you. How do I even know you are not like my father?”
“Oh, sweetheart.” He pulled her into his arms as she sobbed. “If there is one thing I do want, it’s you. All of you. And you know how you can tell I’m not your father?” He pushed her back from his chest so he looked her in the eyes. “Because no matter how badly I desire you, and trust me, from that first night you kissed me, I desired you—I have not allowed myself the pleasures that are mine by rights as a husband.”
“But why?”
“Because you didn’t have a choice. I would never want a woman trapped into a marriage with me unless she desired that. I’m no prize. I am not worthy of being your husband—because of my lack of title, land, or lucrative finances. My pixie-bride, all I have to offer any woman is my scarred heart, body, and all the love I can muster.”
“Yes.”
He shook his head and tilted it as he gazed at her face and the smile there. “What?”
“Yes. If that’s what you are offering, it is more than enough for this orphaned spinster who has no social airs, doesn’t know how to dance, and has no desire to be in any way associated with the Black Diamond by birth or rank.”
He shook his head, stepped back, and dropped his arms. “You can’t mean that, Luce.”
“Why not? How did I get that image of your face, complete with that little scar by your right ear, if God hadn’t given that to me? How did it come about that a month, and several images later, you showed up on my doorstep? I’m sure the Duke of Wellington had a slew of other agents he could have sent to retrieve this “package”, but no, he sent you. Could God orchestrate it all? Had He not revealed you to me in advance, I would never have been willing to go with you. I gave up everything to follow you.”
“Are you fey? Have you become so much like the Scots you hold to their old Gaelic beliefs in premonitions, dreams, and other supernatural events?”
“Don’t you believe God is capable of doing everything I said? Is He not sovereign over all? Doesn’t He know our dreams and desires even before we do?”
Jared shook his head. “My pixie-girl, you would have me believe that our accidental marriage was preordained by God?”
Lucy put her hands on her hips and tilted her head. “Why don’t you want to believe it?”
Jared turned toward the mountain and threw his head back, eyes closed. “Maybe because through all I’ve endured and the sins I’ve committed, while I know God loves, I struggle to believe He loves me. That He would give me a woman as beautiful and loving, whose very touch eases my darkest hours…well, it is hard for me to accept.”
“You spoke highly of your brother and your mutual friends. Have they ever held your past against you?” Lucy’s voice was soft as she touched his back with her hand.
“No. But Lucy, they don’t know the details. I’ve lied, stolen money, virtue, and dreams. I murdered men and women. I’ve done everything that was asked of me for King and country, but it has blackened my soul.”
“Don’t you understand, Jared? Jesus scrubs the black away to reveal something fresh and new. It doesn’t happen overnight. You cannot take this Scottish lassie and drop her in London at a ball and expect her to do well. It’s a process. Day by day you speak to me and encourage me in all I will need when I get to town.
“God works the same way. He takes our blackened souls and starts to polish away until we come to look clean, fresh, and more like Jesus. Hasn’t he already started that in you?”
Jared turned to face her. “I don’t know, Luce. I’d like to believe that God saved me and hasn’t left me trapped in my sin.” He lifted a hand to caress her cheek. “I look at you and am reminded of all that is good and pure in this world and I fear my very presence in your life threatens that in yours.”
“How so? As you said, you always treat me as a lady and even though you are legally my husband and I have even invited you to my bed, you refused because of a bigger picture in your mind. Is that so bad?”
The Captain's Conquest Page 5
