“But I have times when I’m not myself. That pitchfork incident has never happened before that I’m aware of. I’ve tended to avoid sleeping in posting houses because of that. I’d prefer to experience my personal terror where it doesn’t disturb anyone else.”
“You’ve never hurt me. It’s as if you knew, even before we met, that I would never harm you.”
Jared shrugged and let his arm drop. “I can’t trust myself. You proved it to me with the stable incident. I possessed no memory of it the next morning. I’ve had moments…I’m sorry, Luce, I can’t talk about it.”
She tilted her head. “Can’t or won’t? What is it you are afraid of?”
Jared shrugged.
“I’m not leaving you.”
He gazed into her cerulean eyes. “Someday you will, Luce. Everyone does at some point.”
8
Jared resume his fishing. Lucy hated to admit it, but he was right. At some point, everyone leaves. Her mother was gone, and Jared told her that her brother had been buried in her absence, but that he had been married and fathered a child who was now the reigning Duke.
Nanny and Terrance were old. At some point they would die, and she would have been alone at Ivy Cottage.
She had seen the monster in the Loch. A silly superstition but people died, and there was no time limit that she knew of for the ‘curse’ if there was one. Foolishness. She climbed up the mountain a ways and found an outcropping of rock where she could sit. She watched Jared. Had he fallen asleep while fishing? It wouldn’t be the first time. She shook her head and couldn’t help but smile. How would she ever convince him that she loved him and would never willingly leave?
A rustling alerted her to an animal nearby. While none would necessarily be dangerous, other than the adder, she was still cautious. She pulled out her pistol from her skirt pocket. Lucy rose to her feet and followed the sounds a few steps.
Something cried.
Lucy pushed through a bush to find a lamb. She looked around to see if there were any other sheep, but none could be seen or heard.
“Hi there, sweet thing,” she cooed to the frightened animal. “It will be fine. I’m here to help you.” She placed a hand on the soft, fuzzy head and the animal stilled. Lucy managed to loosen it from the brambles it had been trapped in. “There. You are free now. Go find your mamma.”
Lucy picked her way back down the mountain until she came to the small shore by the river. She glanced up at the rocky terrain and couldn’t see the little lamb. God, thank You for that little glimpse of You and how You come and rescue me when I get stuck. Help me show Jared just how much You love him.
She walked over to where Jared napped under the tree. His pole tugged, and she reached over to bring in the fish. It was a decent size and with the wild kale she would try to make a bit of a stew for them. She started to prepare the fish and the kale with some water from the stream and set it over the fire. She figured the aroma would soon awaken her soldier.
A soft baaaa came from behind her. She turned to discover the little lamb grazing near her. It would raise its head, bleat, and return to munching on the grass. His fluffy cream-colored fur contrasted with the black on his face. She smiled. He was sure a cute little animal. He came up to her and tried to nibble on her blouse. She reached forward with her other hand and was able to scratch him above his nose. Lucy grinned. “You poor little thing. You need to find your mother.”
~*~
A delicious aroma dragged Jared to awareness. He shivered and rose to go sit closer to the fire as the evening chill settled over the valley. “What is that?”
A fuzzy dog nibbled on grass by Lucy.
“That is a lamb. A baby sheep. Baaaa baaaaa. Surely they have sheep in England.”
“Well of course they do, but not wild sheep, at least I don’t think we do. What is this one doing here?”
“I rescued the little guy from some brambles higher up in the mountain. He must have followed me here. He even lets me pet him.”
“We’ll need to find his mother if we can. I’d hate to leave it here alone when we move on.”
“I couldn’t find any other sheep. The goats that were on the other hill across the river have moved further up.”
“Could sheep have done the same on this side?”
“Of course. But a lamb could wander quite far from his herd.”
“Well, if we can’t find its mother, we could cook up the mutton and eat it over the next day or so.”
“You are not killing my lamb.”
“Your lamb?”
“Yes, I’ve decided he is coming with us.”
“You’re taking a lamb to London?”
“I’m sure we’ll find a wonderful home for him along the way, but we cannot leave him alone to die out here.”
“And what would have happened if we had not come along when we did?”
“He would have died.”
“So why do you think the outcome should be different?”
“Because we are here and can make it different.”
“Just because we can doesn’t mean we should.”
“Just because you have a night terror doesn’t mean I need to comfort you. Just because an adder threatened me, didn’t mean you needed to shoot it. We are making a difference in our world wherever we go, whether we intend to or not. He comes with us.”
Jared held out his bowl for her to put the food in, sat down on his side of the fire to eat, and watched the sheep and Lucy interact. It really was a cute little thing. “Fine, he can come with us, but if he wanders off, I am not searching for him.”
“I’m probably a better hunter than you anyway.” She handed Jared the empty dishes and sat back down, pulled out her journal and graphite, and began to write or sketch or some such thing.
He wasn’t sure. He gave up, went to wash the dishes, and tidy up the campsite as they settled down for the night. When he sat back down on his blanket to finally go to sleep he looked across the fire to see Lucy on her side, facing him, with a lamb snuggled up in her arms, both asleep.
Jared lay back and stared up at the moon and stars in the partially lit night sky. Lord, I don’t get it. How could You love me? You know better than anyone all I have seen and done. Help me understand. More than anything I would love to be worthy of a lady like Lucy. She’s all I would ever imagine for a wife. I don’t understand this journey. Lead us, and please, keep her safe.
The next day, Jared handed up the lamb to her on her horse. Fiona handled the additional baggage without complaint. Jared was grateful the animal did not slow them down. He was also surprised that Lucy was inclined to talk.
“What do you think I should name him?”
“He’s not a pet, Luce. If you name him, you will get too attached and it will be harder to let him go.”
“Maybe I won’t be letting him go. I’ll keep him.”
“My pixie-bride, you already have so many strikes against you when you get to London. A pet lamb will not endear you to beau monde. You cannot afford any more things that will set you so far apart. Your accent hopefully will be considered unique. You will have no trouble with your appearance, for you are beautiful and not in any way the average English miss. You can’t dance. If you don’t claim your father’s title and legacy, you will be hard pressed to find yourself a husband.”
“In case you forgot, I’ve already acquired a husband. If I keep you none of that is an issue. We can go to your home in the country and our little lamb can grow big and strong there.”
Jared rolled his eyes and tried to focus on the rocky path in front of him. They had climbed up higher into the hills. As cold as it got in the evening it got quite warm in the daytime. He’d already shed his greatcoat, hat, coat, waistcoat, and cravat. He felt bad for Lucy with her petticoats and camisole.
Why was she so hung up on making this marriage real? He feared he was falling in love with the sprite. If any woman could be more perfect for him, he couldn’t imagine who it would be. He was alrea
dy in trouble with Whitehall for the mess he made in marrying her. If he consummated the marriage, he might be in even more trouble. Why did they believe it was important for her to travel to London? She would have happily lived out her days near Aldourie and probably married some fine Scottish laird and had a cabin full of bairns to keep her busy.
Auk! He had already spent so much time in Scotland, he was starting to think Scots! He closed his eyes and cringed at the image of his lovely pixie wife embraced by another man. He had no face and yet everything inside of Jared revolted at the very idea. He might, when he was thinking clearly, see all the reasons why he should not claim her as his own, yet deep down inside, he wanted her desperately.
After dinner that evening, he glanced across the simmering embers of the fire and saw her face reflected in the glow. Her frizzy, almost white hair was unbound. Some of it rested on her shoulder. He longed to touch it and wrap it around his finger. To let his hands get buried deep in the mop of curls and inhale the scent of heather. He wasn’t sure how she managed to keep that scent about her as they traveled. He could barely stand himself by day’s end but Lucy…
He rubbed one hand over his eyes, pulling the eyelids shut. Why spend time obsessing over what would never be his? He rolled to his side, away from the fire, and stared out into the darkening world around him. That same darkness enfolded his soul.
~*~
The growl warned Lucy that something was amiss. She looked around in the dark and heard it again. The deep guttural sound sent shivers down her spine.
Scallywag slept sound by her side and Lucy smiled at the soft snore coming from the little lamb. She rose slowly and checked to make sure her gun was still in her pocket. She looked across the glowing embers of the fire and spied Jared struggling.
“No!” He ground out and the ferocity of the word alerted her to another nightmare.
She threw some sticks into the fire and nudged the flames to life with some dry brush. She moved around the fire to find Jared struggling and tangled up in his blankets. His hair was wet with sweat in spite of the cool evening air.
She knelt down by his side and started to coo at him in a soft voice. “Nae, my handsome soldier, ye are safe and weel then. Let me help you, mah loue.” She reached to pull at the blanket and found that at some point, Jared removed his shirt. In the firelight, she could see the ugly red strips that lined his torso. She’d forgotten the sorrow of those marks. She reached forward to trace one with her finger, but his freed hand came to grab her wrist and hold it tight.
“You will not get the information you seek.” His grip tightened on her wrist.
“Jared, you’re hurting me. Please let me go.”
“You’ll not sweet talk me. I know your type.” He pulled back with his other arm.
Lucy saw too late what he intended as he aimed it for her face. The impact threw her head back and tears came to her eyes, but he held her fast.
“Jared, please wake up. ’Tis Lucy, your pixie bride.”
He laughed. “Nice try, but I am not married.” He swung back with his fist and pulled hard on her wrist. After the crushing impact to her nose, he pushed her back and away from him.
Lucy couldn’t keep the tears from falling as pain radiated in her nose and cheek. Her arm ached and her wrist hung limp. She curled up in the grass and whimpered. She shivered, not from the cold, but for the first time in their short acquaintance, she feared him.
He came to stand over her. His jaw and fists clenched. The muscles in his arms and chest were tight. Even marred by scars, he was beautiful. His hair was mussed and golden whiskers outlined his jaw. He glared at her. “You bother me any more tonight, and worse will come to you.” He strode over to grab a rope from his saddle and came back to her, pulled her arms behind her, and tied them. “That should keep you ’til morning.” He strode back to his blanket by the fire, stretched out, and went back to sleep.
Lucy shivered in the dark, too far away from the fire on the cold hard ground instead of wrapped in her own blanket. She was unable to wipe away the blood that traveled down her cheek to drip into the grass and her wrist throbbed. Her neck began to send shooting pains down her arms as she lay at an awkward angle. The muscles rebelled against their recent abuse. Her head pounded. She drifted slowly into a welcome darkness.
~*~
Her sleep did not last long, the dawn lightened the sky.
Scallywag came to lie down beside her, giving her much needed warmth. The generosity and love of this little animal warmed her heart and renewed her tears. The way her body hurt didn’t help. Her arms were numb, yet the throbbing in her wrist continued. She tried hard to keep the bond as loose as possible to avoid further pain. Her stomach growled, but she doubted she would be able to eat anything and keep it down.
Jared yawned and stretched. He flung off his blanket and pulled on his shirt. He looked across the fire to her empty bedroll. He jumped to his feet, scanned the area and finally turned to see her. “Luce?”
She couldn’t help but recoil from him.
“What happened?” He reached to touch her cheek and she flinched. He pulled his hand back.
“Please untie me.”
He loosened the knot and slid the rope off her arms.
Lucy brought her arm around and used that hand to push herself to an upright position. She brought her other arm around and checked out the black and blue wrist.
Jared reached for her.
“Do nae touch me.” She shivered, struggled to her feet, and made her way to the woods to relieve herself. She returned to the fire and sat close, wrapping her blankets around her.
Scallywag chewed on grass nearby.
Jared sat on a log near her. “Lucy? Did I do this to you?”
She nodded but refused to look at him.
He groaned, rose to his feet, and stomped away with a towel. He went to the river and returned. “Let me at least try to make this better.”
She watched him warily as he dabbed at her bloodied face.
“I’m afraid we’ll have to wash your hair to get the blood out. Oh, Luce, I’m so sorry. Your wrist? Did I break it?”
“I don’t know.”
“May I?”
Lucy nodded.
He knelt before her and gently took her arm, resting it on his thigh. He probed with the lightest of touch.
She cried out from the pain.
Jared shook his head. “I’m sorrier than I could ever say, Luce. Surely now, you can see why I couldn’t marry you. The sooner I can get you away from me the safer you will be.” He reached for his cravat and the flattest branches he could find and bound her wrist to keep it immobile. “I’ll hunt for some food. I do not think we will be traveling today.”
“Nae, we need to move on.”
“Rest while I fetch our breakfast, it will be a long day regardless of our plan.”
She nodded, closed her eyes, and drifted into a restless sleep.
9
Jared shot a grouse, plucked it, and cooked it over the fire. He struggled to own the fact that he had assaulted his pixie bride. His knuckles ached though, giving testimony to the fact that the bruises on her face were put there by him. What was worse, was that she flinched at his touch, a touch she used to seek and encourage.
He tried to convince her that she did not want to be married to him, but now he regretted that she finally understood the most basic reason why.
It simply wasn’t safe. Oh, maybe if he were locked in his own room at night with strict instructions to be left alone…but he remembered how his brother struggled with that when Marcus nursed him back to life.
His chest physically ached when he gazed upon Lucy’s battered face. If she had any living male relatives, he deserved to be run through for his ill treatment of her. He shook his head. His friend and fellow spy, Sir Michael Tidley, was Lucy’s half-brother. Michael was good with swords and pistols, but Jared would never defend himself in such a duel of honor, for in this instance he had no honor of his own to de
fend.
Jared knelt down by Lucy and roused her so she could eat. He let her rest and fed her. She eyed him warily, but he admitted he deserved it. I’m sorry, in no way mitigated the damage he had done to her body, heart, and their relationship. Irretrievably rent asunder and he could remember none of it. He washed up the dishes.
Lucy grabbed her things and went downstream to bathe in the cool waters.
He stirred up the fire so she could warm quicker. He made some coffee for her as well, in hopes that it would offer warmth and perk her up.
Lucy did return, followed by the little black-faced lamb, Scallywag.
Jared shook his head at the silliness of the animal, but in spite of his initial misgivings, he was now inclined to humor his pixie bride in any way possible. There was no way to sufficiently make amends, but he could at least try.
After they packed up, he helped Lucy mount and handed Scallywag up to her to ride across the front of her saddle.
“Are you sure, Lucy?”
She nodded, eyes straight ahead and jaw set. She motioned for him to lead the way along the river path.
Jared prayed. Luce was her normally taciturn self, but now a wall had been erected between them. As much as he struggled to keep the affectionate sprite at bay, now he found he would gladly trade the torture of stopping her kisses to this barrier.
~*~
Lucy spied the storm clouds before she heard the thunder. “Jared!” she yelled and trotted up alongside his stallion. “A storm. We need to seek shelter.”
He looked up at the sky and nodded. “Do we have time to find a cave or outcropping of rock to hide under?”
She scanned the mountain above, in front, behind, and across from them. “Across the river there, just a little way up—a small cave.”
“Can you handle fording the river on horseback?”
Lucy nodded and followed him through a shallower portion of the river to the opposite bank. Lightning now flashed across the sky and the air crackled.
Jared jumped down from his mount and assisted Lucy by taking Scallywag off first.
They led the animals up a narrow path to the tiny cave where there was enough room at the opening to fit the horses, the lamb and them, but with the way the rain started pelting down, it was marginally protective.
The Captain's Conquest Page 6
