Wings and Beyond

by Joy Redmond

  Mandy walked into school. Her young body had matured over the summer and she was aware of her pert breasts and how they jiggled when she walked. Iris had whisked her off to the store and bought her some bras, and Iris had to buy her new sweaters because her chest had outgrown her old ones.

  At almost fifteen, Mandy was a natural beauty. Her dark hair, green eyes, pouty lips and olive completion, made her standout. She had developed into a full woman, with those perfect pert breasts, small waist line and curvy hips. She stood 5 foot 1 inch, and weighed 95 lbs. The other girls towered over her, but being petite also made her stand out from the others.

  As she stepped through the doors of the new school, she noticed the boys staring on the verge of drooling as she walked to the office to get her schedule and check in. Later that day, they swarmed her in the hallway when she was changing classes.

  Mandy reveled in the attention. She smiled at the boys and her bow shaped lips parted and her perfect white teeth peeked out, which seemed to drive the boys wild and it was as if they had fallen in love with her on the spot.

  She told them she couldn’t give out her phone number and wouldn’t be allowed to date for another year. She blushed and it seemed to make them sigh at her beauty and innocence. She heard some of them moan as they drifted away and though boys were not a big deal to her, she was flattered when they told her how beautiful she was.

  Mandy tried to make friends with a few girls, but most of them seemed to be jealous of her and some of them remembered her at the picnic and they remembered Iris and how crazy she was, so they drifted away from her.

  She rarely saw Shelly, she only had one class with her. Shelly was nice to Mandy but showed no interest in being a best friend. Mandy’s feelings were hurt and Nikko didn’t help when she said they were better off not knowing the spoiled brat who got to eat on her bed.

  As the day wore on, Mandy refused to get sad. After all, she was in the same school as Don, she had gotten to see him and she had been told she was beautiful. All that was missing was getting to know one of the girls and becoming friends. Before the end of the day, she befriended a girl named Patsy.

  Mandy hoped they would become best friends and Patsy seemed to be in awe of Mandy. She told Mandy she was movie star beautiful, and even though Mandy was thrilled over the compliment, she just wanted someone to hang out with at school.

  Patsy also warned Mandy, the other girls would find her a threat to them and be jealous and give her a hard time. Patsy was a plain Jane and she wore no makeup and had a masculine walk. She wore her blonde hair cut in a short bob. She was pretty in her own way, but she wasn’t considered a threat to the other girls. Mandy adored her right away. Patsy was down to earth, honest and bouncy; full of life and chatty and there seemed to be a tough side to her as well, which Nikko was drawn to. Patsy was the perfect friend, for both Mandy and Nikko.

  Soon, Mandy and Patsy were bosom buddies and they always had each other’s back. One day after P.E. class, all the girls were in the shower room when Mandy stepped out of the shower and was wrapping a towel around her when a girl pointed at Mandy and said, “Hey, you need to get busy and grow some bigger titties.” Everybody in the shower room laughed.

  Patsy yelled, “Shut the shit up, you morons!” She turned on the girl who had made the remark.

  “Mandy’s boobs are in perfect proportion with her other body parts. She’s tiny. Not a fat cow like you. If she had your fat ass, she’d have boobs your size, which makes you look like a Jersey cow. Boobs are nothing but fat, anyway, you stupid tub of guts! If you say one more word to her, I’ll smear your fat ass all over the walls!”

  Silence fell over the room. Mandy felt Nikko pushing her forward. “And don’t let my size fool you, you big heifer. I’ll bust you one!” Mandy reached for the girl’s hair, but before she could grab a hand full, the gym teacher walked into the room.

  The teacher seemed to quickly assess the situation. “Is there a problem in here, girls?” Her tone threatening.

  All the girls answered in unison, “No, ma’am.”

  From that day on, nobody said a word to Mandy, in the shower room or anywhere else. Though she was a tiny mite, she eluded an attitude that made her seem like a giant. Nikko would never take any crap from anybody. She was always there when Mandy was backed into a corner. They made the perfect pair.

  Mandy’s freshman year was over too soon for her. She dreaded having to go back to work in the fields, the garden, and spend hours with Iris in the kitchen, canning and cooking.

  Mandy was sad it was over. She enjoyed the attention of the boys and she had a wonderful time with Patsy. And she was going to miss not seeing Don every day. They were back to once a month visits.

  The summer of her 15th year was spent the same as all the others. Patsy called Mandy every day, but she could only have a ten minute conversation, with Iris hovering over her, listening to every word, making sure there was no mention of boys. Patsy invited Mandy to spend the night with her and go to the movies with her on Saturdays, but Iris forbade it.

  Finally, the long summer ended. Mandy was more excited when she started her sophomore year. She had gotten her driver’s permit and she was anxiously waiting for her 16th birthday in November.

  She was so excited the day she took her driver’s road test, she wondered if she’d faint before the State Trooper handed her the test paper. She quickly glanced over it. She had scored perfect marks on everything. Her legs trembled as she made her way into the court house where Iris was waiting for her.

  “Mother, I passed with flying colors!” she said, waving the paper.

  “I didn’t have any doubts, dear. You’ve been driving the truck since you were twelve. And you’ve had plenty of practice on the road after you got your driver’s permit. We let you drive the car when we went to visit your brothers and grandparents. I guess we finally did something right, according to you, huh?”

  Mandy recognized sarcasm when she heard it. “Yes, Mother. I appreciate the fact that you and Father took the time and had the patience to teach me to drive. And I can’t thank you enough for letting me visit with my family.”

  “You’re welcome, dear. And I have a surprise for you. Your father and I talked it over last night. Now that you have your license, you can drive yourself when you visit Don and Lee and your grandma and grandpa. And you can drive yourself when you go visit with your mammaw and pappaw. I know you want to be by yourself when you visit with them. To tell the truth, it’s a relief to me. I really didn’t like to have to set through the visits. But I did it for your sake.”

  Mandy felt Nikko bristle, but she managed to keep her thoughts to herself. That’s right. My real family isn’t good enough for you. They’re poor people with little education. So that makes them trash. I’ve heard your comments when you thought I wasn’t in hearing range. “Thank you, Mother,” she managed to say with a fake smile.

  Mandy waited in line for her turn to hand the clerk her test paper, have her picture taken, and then wait for it to be processed. An hour later, then she held up her license. “I hate this picture but I’ve got my license. May I drive home, Mother?”

  Iris let Mandy drive around town as they made several stops so Iris could shop for household supplies and groceries. Then Mandy drove them home. She was beaming all the way.

  The boys still clamored for Mandy’s attention and they kept asking her for dates. Iris told her she could go if she doubled dated. “No problem, Mother. Patsy has been waiting to double date with me for a long time.”

  As Mandy headed for the barn to milk the two cows, she felt excitement, a feeling she wasn’t use to. Donnie has been waiting for me to say I can go on a date. Mother doesn’t have to know that he’s a senior. I’m sure that would make him off limits. My whole life is a lie. But it’s the only way that I can survive, she thought.

  The second half of Mandy’s sophomore year, Iris allowed her to go to the basketball games with Donnie. Patsy and her boyfriend, Jeff, had to come into the hou
se with Donnie, so Iris could make sure it would be a double date. Iris furrowed her brow at the sight of Patsy in a pair of jeans. Mandy had to wear a skirt and a pull over sweater. Mandy felt like a fool, but she was willing to do whatever it took to be able to get out of the house.

  After the ball games, all the high school students gathered at the Dairy Queen and they car hopped, talking to each other. Mandy wasn’t allowed to hang out at the Dairy Queen. Iris knew what time the games were over, and Mandy had thirty minutes to get home.

  Donnie was losing patience with all the strict rules, she knew, but he didn’t give her a hard time. He merely took her home, then went back to the Dairy Queen and socialized with friends. Patsy was always telling Mandy about all the fun she was missing out on.

  Nikko and Mandy had many conversations in the mirror. It was the only way for Mandy to hold on to her sanity and not lose the other half of her. The browbeating she had to take from Iris and Otis was beginning to take its toll, and at times Mandy feared she was becoming mechanical, just waiting for her parents to push the right button or pull the right lever, and she would be the robot that they were creating. Nothing she said, nothing she did met with their approval. They constantly did their best to train her to be the person they wanted her to be. They were killing Nikko, little by little.

  When school was out for the summer, Mandy dreaded it. The only thing that gave her hope was the fact that she could go on a double date once a week.

  The week before school was out, Iris and Otis took Mandy to Don’s graduation. Mandy watched her big brother walk across the stage, accept his diploma, and her tears rolled. I hope you’re looking down, Mama. I know you’re so proud of Don. He’s bounced from home to home ever since you left us. He’s done well. And, Daddy, you ol' shitass, it wouldn’t have killed you to come to Kentucky to see your oldest child graduate from high school. She felt her face turning red with anger.

  Then she wondered, why didn’t Grandma and Grandpa come? Why didn’t Mammaw and Pappaw come? Why didn’t any of the Randall family come? Then it dawned on her. Don hadn’t told any of the family. He hated them because they didn’t keep him and they let him be a drifter for the past eight and a half years. She shook her head. Don, they couldn’t keep you. Mammaw and Pappaw were, and still are old and poor. Our aunts and uncles had six to eight kids a piece and it was all they could do to take care of their own. That’s why I’m with the Hodges. Grandma and Grandpa would have kept you, but you hated Grandpa, and you refused to stay with them and Lee. She wiped her tears. Hate is eating our guts out. I hope someday we can let it go. But it’s sure gonna be hard work.

  After the ceremony, Don pushed his way through the crowd and Mandy jumped when he grabbed her arm. She threw her arms around his neck. “I’m so proud of you. I hate it that we won’t be seeing each other every day during the school year, but I can still come see you, once a month, like I’ve always done.”

  “I need to talk with you, alone. Is there any way?” Don asked.

  Mandy turned toward her parents. Iris said, “Tomorrow is Saturday. If Otis doesn’t need you in the fields, you can go visit with Don.” Then Mandy saw Iris slip something into Don’s breast pocket. “Just a little something for you,” she whispered.

  Mandy could see the green color through Don’s white shirt. Iris gave Don some money? I hope it was at least a hundred dollars.

  Otis shook Don’s hand. “I’m proud of you, boy. I hope you go on to college. And Amanda can come see you tomorrow.”

  Mandy and Don hugged, then they went their separate ways.

  The next morning, Mandy was getting dressed so she could get her chores done before she went to see Don. Iris walked into her room. “Amanda, you don’t have to do chores this morning. Dress nicely, go visit with your brother, but make sure you’re back home by four-o’clock. You’ll have to get the chickens fed, gather the eggs, and milk the cows before supper. I’ll do the milking this morning.” Iris kissed Mandy’s cheek. “You have a nice visit with Don, and don’t you be speeding.”

  Mandy hugged Iris’ neck. “Thank you, Mother. I’ll be home on time and I promise I won’t speed. You know I’m a good driver.” Tears stung her eyes as Iris left the room. Thoughts were racing through her head. Most of the time I hate you and Father, then you go and do something that makes me so happy, I let go of the resentment. You keep my emotions on a rollercoaster. I never know what to expect.

  Mandy pulled to the curb in front of the house where Don lived. She knocked on the door, anxious to hear what he had to tell her that seemed to be very important, since he said he wanted to talk with her alone.

  Don answered the door. “Come in, Sis. I’m by myself. We can talk and nobody will be around to interrupt. I’ll fix us a glass of lemonade and we can sit on the couch.”

  “That sounds great. I’m glad we finally have a chance to be alone. I feel smothered all the time. The Hodges are up my butt with every move I make. It’s like they have to make sure I say the right things, or sit the right way. Oh, you have no idea what kind of a pain in the butt they are.” Mandy took a seat while Don went into the kitchen.

  Don came back, handed Mandy a glass of lemonade, then sat beside her. “I wish you wouldn’t talk about the Hodges like you do. At least they adopted you and you have a permanent home. I’ve been bounced all over the place. They’re good people. They gave me fifty-dollars, last night. That’s the most money I’ve seen at one time in my whole life. They must be rich. So you’ve had and still have life on Easy Street.”

  “Oh, yeah. The wonderful Hodges. Just because I have all I need, material wise, and I live in a big house, that doesn’t mean that I’m happy.” She paused, willing her anger to go away. “Come to think of it, The Big House is the proper name. ‘Cause that’s what it is. It’s a prison!”

  “You’re just ungrateful,” Don answered.

  “Don, I didn’t come to argue with you. You said you had something you wanted to tell me. So what is it? I want to hear all about you, and I don’t want to talk about me.”

  Don took a drink, lowered the glass and lowered his voice as he said, “Well, you know the people that I live with are Pentecostal. That’s my religion now. Mr. Drake is a preacher and we travel a lot, holding revivals. He’s been letting me preach at revivals for two years. So I’m a preacher, too.”

  Mandy’s jaw dropped. But she didn’t say a word.

  “A year ago this May, I was at a revival and while I was preaching, I looked over the congregation and I saw the most beautiful girl in the world. She took my breath away. I knew she would be my wife from the moment our eyes met—”

  “You’re in love?” Mandy cried.

  “Yes, I am. I had my first date with her that very night, after the revival service. I’ve seen her every two weeks for the past year. Last week, I proposed to her. She said yes, so next weekend, we’re getting married. She’s only sixteen, but her parents know that I’ll make her a good husband. They said they had always wanted her to marry a preacher.”

  “Oh, my gosh! I can’t believe this! What’s her name? Where does she live?”

  Don took another drink. “Her name is Anne. She lives in Dalesboro, a little town seventy-five miles from here. She’ll be a perfect wife and I’ll love her until the day I die.”

  Mandy couldn’t stop herself as she exclaimed, “Don, you’re only eighteen. She’s only sixteen. That’s way too young for either of you to get married!” Dear Lord, I’m sounding like Iris, she thought. “I want to come to the wedding.”

  “Sis, that’s too far for you to drive and I’m sure your parents wouldn’t let you come, anyway. And I’m sure they have no interest in coming to my wedding. I haven’t told anybody but you. I don’t want you telling any of the family. They were never there for me since Mama died, and I don’t have any used for them now. As far as I’m concerned, my whole family is dead. I—”

  Mandy hugged him around the neck before he could finish his sentence. She wiped her eyes and said, “I’m sure m
y parents wouldn’t let me make the drive by myself, and you’re probably right, they wouldn’t want to come. But I want to meet your wife. When will I see you after you get married?”

  Don wouldn’t make eye contact and he quickly blurted, “You won’t see us after the wedding. We’ll be living in her hometown, almost a hundred miles from here, and I’m going to be the preacher at the church she attends. I won’t make much money, but I’ll find a job on the side and we’ll make it.”

  “No, Don, no!” Mandy cried. “You can’t just take off. I’ll never see you again.”

  “I’ve got my plans made, Sis. It might be a long time, but we’ll see each other again. All I’ve ever wanted was a family. Since I haven’t had one growing up, I’m going to start my own family. One that I know won’t ever abandon me.”

  Mandy sat in stunned silence.

  Don continued. “So today is goodbye, again. We’ve spent our whole lives saying bye to each other. But I’m grown now. And soon you will be too. I’ll write to you as soon as we get settled. ”

  “I can’t believe this! But I know you’ve got your mind made up, and like the rest of us Randalls, we don’t back up once we decide on something. All I can say is, I hope you and Anne are happy, will stay in love forever, and make a beautiful family.”

  She fumbled in her clutch bag, found a piece of paper and a ballpoint pen. “I’ll write down my address and phone number. You call or write every chance you get. This is just too much.” She dropped her head and sobbed. I know that I’ll never see him again. I just hope I hear from him, she thought.

  Don took the paper, folded it, and then put it into his wallet. “I won’t lose it. I’ll be in touch as soon as I can. I love you, Sis. I always will.” Don kissed her cheek, and Mandy felt his tears drop on her face. Will my heart ever stop breaking, she wondered.

  Don stood and pulled Mandy up with him. “Wipe those eyes, Sis. Be happy for me.”