Belonging

by Alexa Land

  Unfortunately, because it was a sunny weekend in April, the place was overrun with tourists and they kept getting in the shots. We only lasted about twenty minutes before giving up. “If we come back on a weekday, we’ll probably have the place to ourselves,” I told him as we returned to my car.

  “I’m sorry to waste your time like this,” he said. “I should have realized it’d be crowded today.”

  “It’s totally fine.”

  My phone buzzed and I pulled it out of my pocket and looked at the screen. The message from Mikey said: I’ve made a terrible mistake. We went by the animal shelter today and I got the boys a puppy. Dear God, what was I thinking?

  I grinned and showed Chance the screen, then wrote back: That good, huh?

  His next text said: The thing won’t stop chewing on our hands and he’s peeing everywhere. I’m going to have to burn all my area rugs. What did Nana do to get her dog to stop hosing down the house? I’ve had this thing for an hour and I’m ready to have a nervous breakdown. Oh, and of course the boys love the little shit already, so I can’t trade him in for a less defective puppy.

  I chuckled at that and wrote: He’s not defective, that’s what puppies do. Nana hired a dog trainer to come to the house, I’ll call and get the name. Do you want me to bring you anything? While waiting for his reply, I asked Chance, “Do you know anything about dogs?”

  “Not a damn thing. I always wanted one, though.”

  Mikey wrote back: Bring me every kind of chew toy you can find. We went to the pet store before the animal shelter and got a couple that look like stuffed animals, but Cujo doesn’t want them.

  I told him I’d be over shortly, then called home. Jessie answered. “Nana can’t come to the phone right now,” he told me when I asked for her. “Her girlfriends are here and they’re doing something called Jazzercise. There are little old ladies in day glow leotards and legwarmers as far as the eye can see.”

  “Do you know the name of the dog trainer Nana hired? Mikey adopted a puppy and he’s freaking out. It’s chewing on him and the kids. It’s also peeing everywhere and he’s such a neat freak that he’s probably about to blow a gasket.”

  “Yay, another puppy! Can I come see it?” he exclaimed.

  “Yes. But focus, Jessie. Do you have the trainer’s number?”

  “Yeah, it’s in my phone, which is upstairs. I’ll call Marie as soon as we hang up and see if she can do an emergency consultation. She’s so great, she’s like that dog whisperer guy on TV. Only, she’s a girl. And blonde. Oh, and southern. She says things like, ‘fuck me runnin’ with a stick.’ It’s a riot!”

  “Great. Mikey will love expanding his kids’ vocabulary,” I said.

  When Jessie disconnected, I told Chance, “You’re welcome to come with me. I need to go to the pet store and my brother’s house. Not that any of this promises to be very exciting, but you were planning to come over for dinner tonight and that’s where we’ll eventually end up.”

  He smiled at me and said, “I’d love to tag along. Your family cracks me up.”

  While we were at the pet store, Yosh texted me. For some reason, he’d made it his mission to find someone for my brother. He told me about his friend Anton’s sister and capped it off with: She’s basically a female Mikey, a hot accountant. It couldn’t be more perfect.

  I texted him back and told him about the current dog situation, adding: The hot accountant sounds great, I’ll see if Mikey’s free Friday night.

  Yosh wrote: Like Mikey would be busy on Friday! I’ll set it up. Also, I’m great with dogs. I’m actually at Anton’s apartment right now and it’s not far from Mikey’s house. I can meet you there if you want.

  Sure. Sounds like my brother needs all the help he can get, I wrote before putting my phone away.

  Chance and I were among the last to arrive and by the time we got there, Mikey’s house was total chaos. Jessie had brought Nana and her leotard-wearing cohorts with him. The ladies had all put on demure little cardigans over their workout-wear and seemed to be having a party right there in the hallway, complete with martinis. Meanwhile, Jessie was sitting on the floor in the center of my brother’s formal living room with my three nephews, laughing delightedly. Both doors to the living room had been blocked off with baby gates, and most of the living room’s contents, including two huge area rugs and several pieces of furniture, were piled up in the hallway.

  The new puppy turned out to be a tiny, multicolored fuzzball. He and Tom Selleck were running laps around Jessie and the boys, yipping and skidding on the hardwood. Yoshi appeared to be trying to reason with the dogs every time they ran past him, and Mikey stood off to the side, rubbing his forehead as if he was trying to fend off a migraine.

  “God, I love this family,” Chance said before going through the baby gate and joining Jessie and the boys in the eye of the hurricane.

  My phone buzzed in my pocket. Surprisingly, it was a message from Jason Jax. I’d been seeing him five nights a week on average, but he tended to text me after he got home from his various social obligations. I need to see you, Gianni, the message said. Will you please come to the hotel? I’m out right now but I can be back there in half an hour.

  I texted: Sorry, can’t. I’m at my brother’s house, along with some friends and family.

  Jason shocked the hell out of me by writing: Would it be okay if I came by?

  Once I picked my jaw up off the floor, I texted: Doesn’t that kind of go against the whole nobody knowing you’re gay thing?

  You can tell everyone I’m a friend, he replied. I hope there’s some truth to that.

  I sent him the address and he said he’d be over soon. He wasn’t kidding. Jason knocked on the door ten minutes later, and when I answered it, he gave me a hug and whispered in my ear, “Hi, beautiful.”

  Yosh, Jessie and Mikey knew about Jason, but everyone else looked stunned as I made some introductions. My grandmother exclaimed, “Sweet baby Jesus! Nobody told me I was gonna be meeting a famous movie star today. If I’d known, I would’ve worn my red leotard. It’s a lot sexier than this one!” She was covered head-to-toe in purple Lycra, topped with a little white eyelet sweater. Her red leotard was identical to the one she was wearing, apart from the color.

  While he proceeded to completely charm Nana and her girlfriends, I took a couple things out of the shopping bag I’d brought and went through the baby gate. I was immediately attacked by the puppies, who teamed up to try to take down one of my sneakers. “His name’s Gizmo,” Mitchell told me with a big smile, catching the little dog in his arms. “Markie named him.”

  “That’s an excellent name,” I said. “He looks just like a gremlin.” When I tried to pet the puppy, it immediately started chewing on my hand. I produced one of the toys I’d brought and miraculously, he went for that instead. Tom Selleck tried to take it away, so I gave him one, too.

  “He doesn’t look like a gremlin,” MJ told me. “Those are the gross things the cute furry pet turned into in the movie.”

  “Oh, you’re right. He looks like whatever they are before you get them wet and feed them after midnight.”

  I snuck a look at Jason. He had two eighty-year-old ladies hanging off each arm, and was making Nana and her friends giggle like schoolgirls. When he caught me looking at him, he flashed me a dazzling smile.

  My friends came over to me and Jessie whispered, “I thought he was just a booty call.”

  “He was, but then this happened. Go figure.”

  I found out the reason for Jason’s visit about fifteen minutes later. He got me alone in the kitchen and said, “I need to talk to you about something, baby.”

  I turned my attention away from the coffee pot I’d been filling for my grandmother and said, “What is it?”

  “Filming wrapped a few days early. That almost never happens. My agent was so excited when he found out I had most of the week off that he immediately booked me on talk shows in L.A., Chicago and London. I’m flying to Los Angeles tonight to do
a morning show tomorrow. They had a last minute cancellation.”

  “Oh.”

  “I don’t want to say goodbye to you, Gianni, so I’m going to throw something at you from out of left field. It’ll probably sound kind of nuts, but here goes.” Jason took hold of my shoulders. “Come to New York with me.”

  “What...um, what are you suggesting, exactly?”

  “It’ll be kind of like what we’ve been doing. We’ll still have to be discrete, so I’ll put you up in your own apartment. I have properties all over the city, including a gorgeous loft on the Lower East Side that’s currently standing empty. You’ll love it. Best of all, it’s just a few blocks from my place. We can see each other all the time.”

  “But my family’s here, and my friends, and my job....” Zan flashed through my mind but I tried to push the thought of him away.

  “I know. As far as a job goes, I’ll put you on the payroll. We can call you my assistant publicist or something. Also, I’ll buy you tickets to San Francisco whenever you want to visit your family and friends. I’ll take good care of you, baby.”

  “Why would you offer me this? You must have guys back in New York.”

  “I don’t have you there, Gianni.”

  “But you barely know me.”

  “Here’s what I do know: I’m really enjoying what we have and I want a lot more time with you. It’s as simple as that.”

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Just think about it. I know it’s a lot to consider, and I don’t need an answer right now.” He pulled a folded envelope from his back pocket and put it in my hand. “Because I’m an optimist, I went ahead and bought you a plane ticket. First class, nothing but the best for you, baby. It’s for this Thursday, which is when I’ll be returning to New York. I’d love it if you were there waiting for me when I got home. No pressure, though. If you decide not to take me up on my offer, just throw it away.”

  “Oh. Wow,” I stammered.

  “I realize I’m asking a hell of a lot, Gianni. You’ll have to uproot your entire life, all for some guy you’ve known less than a month. I really hope you’ll use the ticket though, and at least give this a chance. I think we have something special here, and I want to give it the opportunity to develop.”

  “I promise I’ll think about it,” I told him as I slid the envelope in my pocket.

  “Thank you, baby.” We could hear my grandmother and some of her friends coming down the hall, probably to see what was taking so long with the coffee. Jason winked at me before stepping back and directing a big smile at the onslaught of tiny seniors that began flooding the kitchen.

  He had to leave about twenty minutes later to catch his flight. Marie the dog trainer arrived just as he was on his way out. She was about a foot shorter than Jason and put her hands on her curvy hips as she looked up at him, narrowing her eyes behind her glasses. “I know you. You were on that crappy show with all those kids, the one where you needed to take your shirt off every time you chopped some wood. You did that movie too, the one where you were always blowin’ shit up.” She had a thick southern accent that instantly made me grin.

  Jason tried to lay on the charm, hitting her with a million dollar smile. “I blow shit up in most of my movies.”

  Marie didn’t seem impressed. “Don’t be sayin’ that like you’re proud of it. How many times can a grown man dive toward a camera in slow motion while some giant-ass truck or buildin’ blows up behind him? That shit’s so old it probably once yelled at Methuselah to get off its lawn.” When Jason just blinked at her, she added, “It’s really freakin’ old, that’s the only point you need to take away here.”

  Jason took that in stride, his smile never wavering. “Duly noted.” He called, “Pleasure meeting all of you,” then gave me a hug before making his exit.

  “Hey there, Nana. Hi Jessie. Where’s this new puppy?” Marie asked as she came inside. Mikey showed her and introduced himself and the boys.

  She stuck her head in the living room, then took a look at the furniture piled up in the hallway and asked, “What’re you preparin’ for here, exactly? You expect the puppy to start throwin’ grenades?”

  Mikey grinned at that. “I expect him to eat my furniture.”

  “What did you adopt, a wolverine?” Marie went through the baby gate and closed it behind her, and was instantly charged by both puppies. As soon as he recognized her, Tom Selleck sat down and started thumping his long tail on the floor. She was wearing a black hoodie with a green zombie and the words ‘Got Brains?’ on it, and she pulled what looked like a little bit of bacon from its kangaroo pocket. Tom Selleck vibrated with excitement, then caught the treat in midair when she tossed it to him.

  Meanwhile, the fuzzball grabbed the cuff of her jeans and started gleefully tugging at it. “Yup, a wolverine.” She smiled at Mikey. “Good call clearin’ your stuff out.” To the boys she said, “Why don’t y’all come here and I’ll show you how to get your puppy to follow instructions.”

  “Maybe you can teach Markie how to do that, too,” MJ said as he got up and stood beside her. “He doesn’t follow instructions at all.”

  As the puppy class got under way, I told Yosh and Chance, “Come with me, okay? I need to talk to you guys about something.”

  We said goodbye to everyone and drove to my house, Yosh following Chance and me in his truck. Once we arrived, I immediately made us some drinks, and when we were seated around the kitchen table, I said, “Jason asked me to move to New York.”

  “Wow. I didn’t even know you were seeing anyone,” Chance said. I filled him in on Jason’s and my brief history, and on his offer. When I finished, he asked, “Are you considering taking him up on this?”

  “Yeah, I am.”

  “But why? It doesn’t sound like you’re in love with this guy. Why would you be willing to pack up and move to the other side of the country for him?”

  “It’s a good opportunity for someone like me. I mean, sure, I’d miss my friends and family. I’ve moved away before though, and I know I can come home and visit a lot.”

  “What does that mean exactly, a good opportunity for someone like you?” Chance asked.

  “Well, look at me. I’m almost thirty, barely employed, and living with my grandmother. I’m kind of a total failure in all aspects of my life. Now here’s this guy who thinks I’m something special and who’s willing to take care of me. At my age, how many more opportunities like this am I going to have?”

  “But why do you need someone to take care of you?” Chance asked me.

  “That’s totally Gianni,” Yosh chimed in. “He’s had that idea forever. It’s what he thinks he wants.”

  “It’s what I know I want. More than that. It’s what I need,” I told them.

  “But what if it isn’t?” When I opened my mouth to say something, Yosh said, “Just hear me out. You’ve done this half a dozen times before, Gianni. You found yourself someone who you thought was going to be the answer to your problems, but it never quite worked out the way you hoped. You always ended up hurt, or disappointed, or both. They treated you like a prized possession until something newer and shinier came along. None of them ever really loved you, Gi. I’m sorry if that sounds harsh, but it’s the truth. And that’s what you need and what you deserve: someone who’ll love you for who you are, not just covet you because you’re beautiful.”

  “But maybe Jason will learn to love me in time,” I said, looking at the drink in my hand. “I think he really likes me, and that’s a start.”

  “So, for that you’re willing to leave your whole life behind.”

  “Not just for that. I’m spinning my wheels here in San Francisco, my life is going absolutely nowhere. Maybe this fresh start is what I need.”

  “It sounds like you’ve already made up your mind to go,” Chance said.

  “I haven’t,” I said. “But I’m going to give this some serious consideration.”

  “When does he want you to go?” Yosh asked.

>   “He bought me a plane ticket for Thursday, because that’s when he’ll be returning to New York.”

  “Thursday! He expects you to move across the country in just four days?” Chance exclaimed.

  “Yeah. And here’s the thing: I could do that so easily! All I really have to do is get someone, Vincent maybe, to take over for me with Zan and my twice-a-week delivery job. That’s it. I don’t have to give two weeks’ notice in an office, or a month’s notice on a rental, or pack a houseful of furniture. I just have to put my clothes in a suitcase. My only major possession is my car, and Nana’s let me store it in her garage before so that’s easily dealt with.” I sat back and looked at my friends. “All of that should tell you something about my life, and why moving isn’t that big a deal to me.”

  Yosh said, “I’m going to miss you if you move.”

  “I’d miss you too, both of you. But I’d come and visit all the time, you’d barely know I was gone. You’d just need a new workout partner Yoshi, but that’s it. Oh, and even my gym membership is month-to-month. Another example of how easy it’d be to pull up roots.” I turned to Chance and said, “I told you I’d help with your photography assignment and I want to make good on that. Whether or not I decide to go, I can meet you every day between now and Thursday to make sure you get the pictures you need.”

  “Thanks. I’d like it if we did one more session,” Chance said, “though really, I’ve already taken three times as many shots as I probably need to.”

  “So, are you going to announce this to your family over dinner tonight?” Yosh asked.

  “No, and please don’t bring it up. I need to think this through for a couple days. I probably sound like I’m raring to go, but this is a big decision and I’m not taking it lightly.”

  “I’m glad to hear you’re giving it some thought,” Chance said. “Moving in with someone you barely know is a huge deal.”

  “Actually, we wouldn’t be living together,” I told him. “He’s not out, so we’d need to be discrete. He mentioned letting me use one of his investment properties near his apartment.”