CASEN (The Karma Series Book 2)

by Amy Marie

  Reece’s face turns furious. “Why do I fucking care?” He shoves me so hard I fall to the ground. “Why do I care? Because you weren’t the only one with eyes, Casen. You weren’t the only one to fall for Annie. Okay?”

  I quickly stand to my feet, composing myself. “What are you talking about, Reece?”

  His head falls to his chest while his hands find his hips. “I liked her too. I felt just as much for her back then as you did and she didn’t even give me the time of day. She had her sights set on you. Everyone could see that. Everyone except you. Dammit, Casen. You always got everything. Nothing was ever hard for you!”

  “Is that why you made the bet? To make my life miserable?”

  He laughs. “That’s exactly why. Do you know how great it was to watch you sweat it out? But Annie – I didn’t think she would give any of us a chance. She was all doe-eyed for you.”

  He liked her too but never said anything? Then made the bet to fuck with me? This blows my mind more than finding out Embyr was Annie. “You were my best friend, Reece.”

  “I am your best friend. Still. Nothing has changed. And just like that stupid fucking bet, I was young and dumb and naïve.”

  I don’t know. This seems like more than a childish thing. Why would he ask her that now? Why be concerned with her choice of going out with Ian back then? It doesn’t make sense. But he’s right. It was a long time ago. I’m learning to let things go, and I want this to be one of them. I just don’t know if I can yet. It’s one thing to do all of that stuff ten years ago. It’s a whole other situation if he is cornering her into answers about it now.

  “I need to think this over, man.” I shake my head. “I’ve had so much shit happen lately I don’t think I can process this just yet.”

  The alarm sounds just then, ending this. For now because I know it’s not finished yet.

  I don’t like having tension between Reece and me. I halfway chastised myself for allowing a woman to potentially come between the two of us, but that’s what he did back in high school, didn’t he? He never told me about his feelings for Annie back then. I could have done something, but maybe he was too far gone. Telling me I got everything I wanted handed to me. That’s bullshit. Yes, my life was made easier by my parents always helping me out but his parents were loaded too. I don’t know where he is coming from now – or hell back then. If he’s talking about everything handed to me in the girl department, that’s bullshit too. He had more girls in one month than I had my entire high school career. I just don’t understand why he needs her reasoning. Even if he did like her back then, it shouldn’t matter now.

  “Hey.” He calls from the entryway to my room.

  I lift my chin. “Hey.”

  His hand comes up to rub the back of his neck, and he shrugs. “I’m sorry, man. Finding out she was Annie brought back some repressed high school memories I wasn’t prepared to face, and it was dumb of me to corner her like that.”

  “Yeah, it was.” I don’t disagree.

  “I’ll apologize the next time I see her.”

  I don’t respond, I just continue to scroll through my iPad. Taking the hint, he leaves.

  I walk into my condo just past six o’clock the next day. It was a rough night with a lot of calls, and then I had to help my sister move some furniture out of her house before the new stuff arrived. It’s taken a toll on my body. I must have smashed my fingers half a dozen times. I don’t mind helping her but she really needs to find a boyfriend.

  When I open the door, the aroma that greets me is heavenly, so is the vision. Embyr is in the middle of my kitchen, work clothes still firmly in place. Something I plan to fix later. She’s at the stove cooking what appears to be burgers. She must not notice I’ve gotten home yet, and I’m thankful for the moment or two I get to watch her. She flips the burgers and then reaches for her shirt, unbuttoning it before taking it off. It leaves her in a thin-strapped tank top.

  Stepping forward, I wrap my arms around her waist. “I could get used to this.”

  She jumps but relaxes when she realizes it’s me. She tilts her head to the side so I kiss her neck.

  “What’s that?” She questions breathlessly.

  My hands glide up her stomach, securing both breasts. “Finding you in my house, cooking when I get home at night. I’m so glad I gave you my keys.”

  Turning in my arms, she wraps them around my neck. “I hope you don’t mind, but I figured it was okay to use them as long as I made you dinner.”

  I lean forward, meshing my lips with hers, taking her tongue into my mouth. She moans, and I pull away, leaning my forehead into hers. “Of course. It’s crazy how natural this feels again.”

  Her head bobs up and down in agreement. “It is.”

  The pan sizzles and Embyr tends to it. “It smells amazing,” I tell her.

  She smiles a thoughtful smile. “It’s a spice blend that my dad used to make. He always made the best burgers. I’m just glad he told me the recipe before he died. It would have been a shame to take with him.”

  Her dad. He was a hero. I remember he died in the line of duty around the time we graduated. I didn’t go to the funeral. I should have. I know she needed someone there. After all, she lost her mother shortly before. When he passed, she had no one.

  “I’m sorry about your mom and dad, Embyr. That had to be tough.”

  She gives a non-committal shrug. “Yeah, it was. I miss them every single day. Not one hour goes by without me thinking about them.”

  I can’t imagine losing my parents but to lose them at such a young age had to affect her. All that and on top of what we did. I just can’t get my head on straight about the whole thing. Her teenage years were rough. No wonder she set out her revenge plan, and with that thought my stomach coils. I forgive her. I do. I just still have some feelings I need to sort through.

  “I can imagine there isn’t. I just feel terrible about all the shit that was piled on you back then.”

  She sets the spatula down and turns to me. “Casen, I’m talking to a therapist. I have someone to help me through it. I don’t want you to ever apologize for what happened back then again. I’ve forgiven. I might never forget, but I forgive you. All of you.”

  I place a chaste kiss on her lips. “Okay. No more apologies.” I continue, remembering my conversation with Reece. “Speaking of all of us. I talked to Reece today about cornering you.”

  She pauses, a look of fear in her eyes. “You did?”

  “I did. I asked him why after all this time he would make you feel uncomfortable and ask you things that shouldn’t matter any longer.”

  She pulls the burgers off the pan and goes about making our plates as I pour us some drinks. I let her keep her quiet until we’ve settled in at the table.

  “Are you not interested in his answer?” I ask her, just before taking a bite. The burger is beyond anything I have ever tasted. I wipe my mouth. “Jesus, Em. These are amazing.”

  Her lips rise in a half-hearted smile. “Thank you, and I am interested. I’m just a bit nervous to hear his response.” She hesitates another moment. “Okay, tell me.”

  “He said that like me, back in high school, he had a thing for you.” Her eyes widen in surprise. “Yeah, said he had liked you too and he knew even before I told the whole PITCREW I had feelings for you. He must have had them pretty bad to be upset over you accepting Ian’s invitation over his.”

  “I guess so,” she responds. “I still can’t believe he liked me. I didn’t have a clue. He was always screwing around with some girl, shit, multiple girls. You would think if you wanted to date someone that they’d pay more attention to you. Not that I would have noticed. I was really focused on you.”

  “He may have just wanted sex from you, Embyr. That’s just the kind of guy he always was. Maybe it bothered him that you slept with Ian.” If I thought her revenge plan made my stomach turn, remembering that videotape has me on the brink of losing the three bites of food I’ve had. If we’re going to get over i
t, then I guess I’m going to have to learn to be okay with everything as much as she is. What she has to deal with is far worse than what I do.

  “Well, either way. We’re older now. That is something he should have gotten over. He may have made me nervous showing up unannounced when Trinity wasn’t home, but when it comes to fight or flight, I fight now.”

  I laugh at the thought of Reece getting his ass kicked by Embyr. I don’t doubt she could get in a few punches before Reece knew what happened. “He said the next time he saw you he would apologize, and I hope he does. After what happened to you back in high school, intimidating women is kind of a trigger point for me, especially seeing as he is my best friend. He should know better now.”

  She nods. “I agree, but I hope you know that I’m not the same girl I was. I’m a lot stronger now and know my worth. There are so many things I did wrong back then.”

  I grab her hand, rubbing along the smooth top of it. “Embyr, you did nothing wrong.”

  “I know you want to say that because you were involved in it,” she pauses, taking a sip of her drink, “but I should have said something. Told someone, and if I ever have kids I’m going to make sure they don’t bully and they don’t allow themselves to be bullied. I would also hope that I’d raise them to stick up for those who aren’t strong enough to.”

  The contents of my stomach turn and my vision of having her for dessert fades quickly. I’m guilty of all that. I allowed them to hurt her without helping. All I had to do was say something. Even anonymously would have been better than nothing at all, which is what I did. I bullied her too. I don’t think for a moment I didn’t. Even if I didn’t take part in everything they were doing to her, I am still responsible for it. She also mentioned not allowing yourself to be bullied. They tore me down too. My so-called friends made sure I kept my mouth shut by intimidating me. I was a victim of the PITCREW as well but not as much as her.

  “Don’t do that, Casen,” she says, breaking into the chastising I’m giving myself. “Don’t feel bad or start to take pity on me again. I don’t want it.”

  I scoot my chair closer to her, the sound instantly irritating my ears. I take both her hands into mine and bow my head. “I know we’ve been talking all this through but it’s going to take a while for me to get over what we did.” I lift my head to meet her eyes. They look just as worn as mine. “I’ve got as much to work through as you do, and even though I’m letting go of what you had been doing over the past year, it’s hard for me to grasp that you are doing the same. Forgiving me, all of us, for the horrendous things we put you through. It’ll take time but I’m willing to work it all out.”

  Sliding off the chair and onto my lap, she wraps her arms around my neck. My hands can’t help but rest on her thighs, and I take the opportunity to slide her skirt up a bit.

  “Casen, I’m willing to put in the work.” Her soft lips brush over mine. “I know you’re worth it.”

  Something she said comes to mind. “You said IF you have kids. Do you not want them?”

  She’s pensive for a moment, looking up to the ceiling. “I do. As long as the right person comes along. I hadn’t thought about children as much until the night we had the big blow out.”

  My brows furrow in question. “What? Why?”

  “You had asked when I was going to tell you. If it would be after our first or second child or after we got married. It gave me, for a brief second, a vision of little dark haired children being raised in the suburbs.”

  I feel the constriction of my heart. I remember saying that to her. I was so angry and heartbroken. “I did say that, didn’t I.”

  “Do you still see that happening? With us?” she shyly asks, her voice lowered.

  I kiss her. I kiss her like I’ve never kissed her before. With so much passion and love poured into every caress of our tongues. “I see it all the time. In my dreams, in my reality. I would love to give you my last name and have you pregnant with our children.”

  She stands up, sliding the zipper down on her skirt and dropping it to the floor. “I say we start practicing.”

  FOURTEEN

  EMBYR

  I feel saddened as I leave Casen’s house this morning. We’ve spent close to every day together this week and now I am leaving for three days to New York for the Event’s Conference. The past five days have been emotional, to say the least. Casen and I are working on getting over all the bullshit we’ve gone through, and even though sometimes I feel as though he may not have forgiven me completely just yet, I know we are making progress. We’ve spent every evening eating dinner together when he isn’t at the station and every night in bed. It’s been a whirlwind considering that just two weeks ago I was pretty sure I would never get to be near him again. I’m so thankful that he was willing to start over.

  As I walk into work to meet Derrick before we take a town car to the airport, I smile thinking about Casen and my conversation the other night. He still thinks about marriage and kids with me. I was honest when I told him I never thought about having them until he mentioned it. Maybe I didn’t think I was worthy. That seems dark, but it’s how my mind functioned for the past ten years. Now that we’re together, and I’ve made the necessary changes to better my life, I feel strongly enough that I can have that happily ever after. I crave it now more than I ever have before. It’s a crazy thing to transition from an angry, jaded girl to a mature, future driven woman. It has been a long time since I’ve felt happy.

  “Embyr.” Derrick greets, walking into my office while I set up my away message for email. “You ready for a weekend, just the two of us.”

  I pause, mid-type, on my email. “I’m excited to visit New York and learn a few new things on how to make our events better.”

  “Hmm.” He ponders it for a moment before tapping my doorframe twice with his fist. “Well, the car will be here in fifteen minutes. I’ll meet you in the lobby.”

  He leaves me to finish up. I set up my voicemail and then punch Casen’s number in.

  It rings twice before he answers. “Hey, sexy.”

  My teeth secure my lip as I try not to smile. “Hey.”

  I hear the city streets in the background. “Getting ready to leave?”

  “Yeah, I just came into the office to do a few things before I head out to the airport with Derrick.”

  I can hear the sigh Casen emits. I know he isn’t excited that it’s just my boss and me, and I haven’t brought it up all week. “I wish it wasn’t just the two of you.”

  The receptionist is at my door. “Town car is here.”

  I look at my watch, noticing it’s early, and I nod to her.

  “I know, Casen. I’m not either but it’s for my job and you have nothing to worry about.” I collect my purse and shut off my computer but need to hang up since we’re on my office phone. “I forwarded all my travel information to your email if you need it, and I’ll call you once I land.”

  “Okay. I’ll just go home and be miserable on my weekend off without you.” He tries to gain sympathy.

  “Okay, think of me.” I smile. “In the shower.”

  “Embyr.” He warns. “I’m walking home from the station, not the time to get me riled up. I didn’t even get to see you last night to get one more fuck before you left.”

  “On my knees.” I continue. “Unzipping your pants.”

  “Fuck.” He groans, and I envision him sliding his hand down his face. “I’m going to come to your work and bend you over your desk.”

  “Can’t!” I laugh. “I gotta go.”

  “Tease!”

  I giggle harder. “You love it!”

  Two and a half hours, an upgrade to first class, and six inappropriate texts from Casen later, I am in my seat ready to take off for New York. I’m glad this is a direct flight but flying first class isn’t a bad gig.

  “I thought the company only allowed business class for flight travel.” I question as we begin to taxi on the runway. Derrick is in the aisle seat, allowing me the wi
ndow, which I prefer. I love to watch the world beneath me float away.

  “I splurged on the upgrade for us.” He takes the last few inches between our hands and obliterates them by intertwining our fingers.

  Jolted, I pull back from him, pretending that didn’t just happen and look out the window. “Thank you.” I half-heartedly thank him.

  That one small move has turned the entire atmosphere of the trip. It went from a nice weekend, learning new ideas for my career to the possibility of having to fend off my boss – again. He is nowhere near the kind of dirtbag Patrick was, but I still feel very tense. So much so that my fists have white knuckles and because this is a work trip I can’t ask the flight attendant for a drink. If it comes down to it, I’m going to have to shut down Derrick. I thought our talk after Trin’s party would have done the trick. I guess not.

  God Casen would lose his shit if I told him.

  No, he will lose his shit because I’m not hiding anything from him anymore. I’ll have to tell him once I get back.

  The rest of the flight goes without another incident. I hope that Derrick got the hint. I hadn’t spoken more than a few words to him since takeoff and now we are collecting our luggage at the carousel. He grabs my bags, along with his, and leads us outside to the waiting line of cabs. He gives our cabbie the address to the hotel and slinks back into his seat.

  “When is the first panel again?” I ask, trying to relieve some of the tension that is clouding the air. If I have to spend all weekend with him, I prefer not to do it without speaking.

  A quick glance at his watch and he answers, “The panels start tomorrow, tonight is the meet and greet dinner.”

  I nod, but he can’t see it. He is looking out the other window. I take the time to turn on my cell phone and message Casen.

  Me: I’m here.

  Casen: Thank you for letting me know. I miss you already.

  Me: I miss you too.

  Casen: and your fucking hot body.