Breaking Down

by Holly Renee

  I wasn’t sure what was happening. Gabe had been on my mind since the day he walked into my life, but I never experienced this Gabe. He had never allowed himself to be this open with me.

  It thrilled me.

  It scared the shit out of me.

  Growing up, I watched my father treat my mother like a queen every day. There wasn’t a day that went by when he wasn’t telling her how beautiful she was or how much he loved her. Every time she walked by him he would reach out his hand and touch her in some way. Even if it was just a brush of their hands. I used to think it was awkward when I was a teenager. My friends would be over and my parents’ would be laughing as they stole a secret moment in the corner of the kitchen.

  Now when I saw them share a secret smile or a soft touch because they couldn’t bear to be away from each other any longer, I craved it. I had never wanted something so bad in my life. But I knew love like that wasn’t a common thing. I knew my chances of finding that was unlikely, but when Gabe said things like he had, it made me dream for it. I was such a clueless woman. My lack of self-preservation where Gabe was involved made me ashamed.

  He didn’t look like he was lying though. He looked like he meant every word he said, but I was trying my hardest not to believe him. Believing everything Gabe said would put me right back in the situation I was in before. I couldn’t survive that.

  I stared up at him and tried to figure out what it was that he wanted. Was he just looking for a good time? Was he looking for a fuck buddy? Did he feel sorry for what he had done to me?

  Looking him over, I was just as confused as I had always been. I could never get a clean read on him. He sat across from me completely at ease. His blond hair was pushed back and styled. Thank God he still hadn’t cut it since he had been home. His beard had been slightly groomed but was still full and made me want to bury his face between my legs. He had on a green button-up shirt that did amazing things to his emerald eyes. He had made an effort for me tonight. I just didn’t know what the effort was for.

  Taking a deep breath, I placed my napkin in my lap and looked him straight in the eye.

  “What are we doing here, Gabe?”

  “Eating dinner,” he said befuddled.

  “I know what we are literally doing,” I rolled my eyes, “but what are your motives here?”

  He sat down his fork and stared down at his plate for a moment. “What are my motives?” he asked himself.

  I sat patiently and waited for him to figure out how he wanted to answer me.

  “I want to be your friend, Erica. I want to get to know the real you. I want you to laugh with me like you do Johnny.”

  I couldn’t help smiling at the hint of jealously in his voice.

  “I need to touch you.” He looked over my skin. “I crave your touch. Currently, I want to pick your ass up and fuck you on top of this table.”

  I pushed my thighs together to stop the ache that was building there due to his words.

  “I want you to confide in me. I want your dirty secrets to blend with mine. I want to know what you fantasize about at night, and I want to make it come true. I want to see you smile. I want you to smile because of me. I want us to have fun. I just want us to be together.”

  I gulped at his words and sat there staring at him.

  “What do you want, Erica?”

  “All of that,” I barely whispered. “But we have to take things slow. I can’t dive in head first with you.”

  He nodded his head in understanding.

  “I also don’t want to be one of many when we are having fun with each other.”

  His eyes turned angry for a moment before he took a deep breath. “You could never be one of many.”

  “Don’t make me regret this.” I held his green eyes.

  “I won’t. I promise.”

  That was the problem, though. I didn’t know if I could trust his promises, but God I desperately wanted to.

  When I pulled back into her driveway, I felt happy and somehow at peace after our talk. I hated walking on eggshells trying to figure out what was going on between us. I wanted to be able to reach out and touch her skin whenever I felt the urge.

  Walking to her front door, she kept her body close to mine. I could smell her as her hair swayed to the rhythm of her hips. I wanted to throw her small body up against the side of her apartment building, but I also wanted to show her that I wasn’t just here for sex. It was a fucking struggle.

  Standing at her front door, I raised my hand to the top of the door frame and hung on as I looked down at her. She looked so damn tiny. So breakable.

  “Thank you for going with me tonight.” I smiled.

  “Thank you for taking me.” She tucked a strand of her wild curls behind her ears.

  I placed my hand below her chin and raised her face to look up to me. I felt a rush through my whole body. Her beauty was unreal. I softly touched my lips to hers and then placed my forehead to her trying to get a grip. I couldn’t go any further than a touch if I actually thought I would be able to walk away. I wasn’t strong enough.

  “Goodnight.” My voice was gruff. I pushed off against the doorframe and started walking away. I needed to go home and take care of this hard on I was currently sporting.

  I had almost made it to the stairs when her voice cut through the night.

  “Are you kidding me?”

  I turned on my heel and looked at her still leaning against her door.

  “That’s all I get? A touch of your lips and gentlemanly goodbye?”

  I narrowed my eyes at the smirk on her face.

  She pulled her jacket off of her arms and let it hang from her fingers.

  Her other hand slowly ran up her neck and she closed her eyes as she enjoyed her touch.

  “I guess it won’t be the first night,” she ran her hand over her breast and down to her flat stomach, “that I’ve had to make myself come to the thought of you.”

  Her hand ran down the front of her jeans and she applied pressure to her center.

  I didn’t think. Thinking wasn’t a quality I was capable of at that moment.

  I stormed back to where she stood and pressed my body against hers as I lifted her hands above her head. I bit down on her collarbone and then slowly licked away the burn. She moaned and pressed her center against me.

  Reaching down, I gripped beneath her thighs and lifted her into the air. She instantly wrapped her legs around my waist. I pressed my weight into her as I gripped her ass in my hands. I could feel her heels digging into my back, and I relished the bite of pain. I kissed up her neck and bit down softly on her ear lobe.

  “It makes me hard as hell to know that you think about me when your running your fingers through your sweet pussy.” She shivered against my lips. “Tonight I’m going to watch you do that before I fuck you senseless.”

  “Yes,” she moaned.

  Gripping the door handle, I slammed us into her apartment and stalked toward her bedroom. She fussed with the buttons of my shirt as I knocked us into walls. Her lips were on mine, and I felt starved even though we just ate. It was a hunger that I never seemed to be able to stop.

  Slamming into her bedroom door, I almost tripped as I dropped us to the bed. My body bounced against the mattress with hers on top of mine. She straddled me as I ripped her shirt over her head. Her breasts were encased in a tiny, black lace bra that barely held the skin beneath.

  I ran my thumb across her nipple covered in lace and watched her skin break out in goosebumps.

  Flipping us over, I grinded my hips into hers before I stood up and pulled my shirt over my head. Erica was shimmying out of her jeans as I kicked mine off my legs.

  Her panties were the same thin black lace, and I wanted to dive straight into the flesh that I knew was hidden beneath. Instead, I slowly backed up and sat in the small chair she had sitting directly across from her bed.

  “What are you doing?” She raised up onto her elbows.

  “I told you that I’m going to w
atch you touch yourself.” I pulled my cock out of my pants and slowly stroked my hand up and down as her eyes tracked my movements.

  I ran my thumb over the tip and gathered the moisture before running it down my length. She kept her eyes on me but didn’t move.

  “Erica,” I growled.

  She looked up at me and her breathing was coming in and out rapidly.

  “Show me what you do when you’re home alone thinking about me. Tell me what you think about.”

  Her small hand shook as she ran it up her stomach and began kneading her breast. Her confidence from earlier seemed to be disappearing. Her eyes closed and she bit the corner of her lip.

  “What are you thinking about?” My hand was leisurely moving up and down.

  “I’m thinking about,” her voice started to fade.

  “Don’t be embarrassed. It’s just me. Tell me what you’re thinking.”

  “I’m thinking about your rough hands on my skin. I love the way your calluses feel against my skin.”

  I watched as she dragged her hand down her stomach. “You run your hand down my body as your breath blows across my skin. It starts as a tease. Your touch is light but calculated. As your hand reaches my panties, I hold my breath in anticipation, but you don’t make me wait. Your fingers curl into the front of my panties and you rip them from my body.”

  Her hand dipped into her panties as her inhibitions seem to leave her. I stood up from where I was sitting and walked slowly toward her. Her fingers were circling her small bud easily, and I knew she was wet for me.

  She didn’t hear me approach. Her head was still leaning back and her eyes were clamped shut. Reaching my hand just above hers, I grasped the thin material of her panties and quickly ripped them at the sides. Her back arched off her bed giving me an amazing view of her body as she let out a deep moan.

  “Then what would I do?” I watched as her hand moved faster and faster against her slick skin.

  “When you see that I’m dripping wet for you, you flip my body over and slide into me from behind.”

  My plan was to set back and watch her, but she had ruined my plans. There was no way I could just sit back and watch this without touching her.

  Leaning on my knee at the end of the bed, I gripped her hips and easily flipped her small body over onto her stomach. Pulling her onto her hands and knees, I lined myself up and slid into her body just as she imagined in her fantasy.

  I began pumping into her, and her lust-filled voice filled the air. “You fill your hand with my hair, and my back arches from the pressure.” I followed her instruction and grabbed her curls in my hand.

  I was so turned on that I could barely control myself as she met me thrust for thrust with her sexy back arched underneath me. I had never liked a woman who took control in the bedroom, but what Erica was doing wasn’t taking control. She was confiding in me. She was letting me into her fantasies, and I was more than happy to help make them true.

  Kat and Blake were picking me up. Gabe didn’t act too thrilled with the idea, but I had already made these plans with Kat. We were going out to celebrate Cash’s birthday, and we were going to a club that I had only been to one other time.

  I stood in the mirror and took a look at myself. My hair was a wild mess of curls that worked perfectly with my dark smoky makeup. My thin, black satin dress seemed somewhat conservative from the front, revealing only a small amount of cleavage. My back was where the dress impressed. The back of the dress was so low that it barely sat above my ass. The only thing obscuring the view of my back were the two thin straps that crossed along the curve of my spine. The dress made it impossible to wear a bra. I looked down my back to my feet that rocked a kick ass pair of black heels.

  I felt good. I felt sexy. I was on a mission to impress Gabe tonight. He had been so amazing lately, but I was worried how he would act when we were out with everyone. It’s something he used to do even when we were just friends. He would act one way when we were alone, but he would pull away as soon as everyone was around us. I’d be damned if he thought he was going to act like that anymore.

  When there was a knock at my door, I pulled the door open and leaned my hip against it.

  “Hey there, hot stuff.” I wagged my eyebrows at my best friend. She was dressed in a tight, red dress that looked amazing on her and her kickass curves.

  “Hello, yourself. Are you looking for a man tonight?” She eyed me up and down playfully.

  “Maybe…” I trailed off.

  I turned around to grab my jacket off the couch and heard her gasp. I smiled at myself because that was the exact reaction I was looking for.

  “Gabe is so screwed.” She started laughing as I exaggeratingly swayed my hips on the way out the door.

  I was thanking God that Blake was with us when we walked into the club. Every inch of space within the club was taken up by drunk guys, flirty girls, and dancing bodies. Blake pushed our way through the crowd and moved us toward the bar.

  I spotted Gabe right away. He was leaning his back against the bar with a beer in his hand. Johnny and Cash were standing beside him, and there was a group of women already surrounding them. He didn’t seem particularly interested in them, but he also wasn’t pushing them away. A tall brunette stood in front of him and was far too interested in what she saw. She put her hand on his chest, and he smiled down at her. I saw red.

  I had never been territorial before, and my instant reaction startled me. I obviously didn’t have my guard up high enough when it came to Gabe.

  Grabbing Kat’s hand, I smiled at her and nodded my head to the dance floor. One of our favorite songs were on, and I knew she was dying to get out there. She nodded her head and then spoke into Blake’s ear.

  He lifted his chin at us and then continued to where the boys stood. I didn’t dare glance back over toward Gabe. Kat and I walked hand in hand to the packed dance floor and found a small space for us. We instantly began moving our hips and getting lost in the music. It was one of the things Kat and I had in common. We both loved to dance.

  Kat was bumped from behind by some drunk guy who was dancing like a fool for the girl in front of him.

  We couldn’t help laughing with him after he helped Kat steady herself. Kat looked up over my shoulder at what I assumed was Blake and shooed her hand. The guy was harmless, but of course, Blake was ready to rip his head off. She smiled down at me and we continued to dance.

  My calves started to burn after a few more minutes of dancing, and I leaned into Kat to tell her that we needed a quick break. I stopped short though when a cool hand grazed the small of back. I instantly knew it wasn’t Gabe. Gabe’s touch would instantly set my body on fire, but all I wanted was for this hand to get off me.

  I turned my body toward the man touching me and pulled his hand away from my back. I was momentarily stunned by how good looking he was. He was tall and fit, and he had warm, brown eyes that matched his brown hair. What truly stunned me though was how I compared everything about him to Gabe. He was handsome, but his eyes didn’t pierce into me with just one look. He was fit, but I couldn’t see muscles outlined by his clothes.

  He leaned into me and whispered in my ear, “Would you like to dance?”

  He voice was smooth, but the gruffness didn’t send chills down my back.

  I opened my mouth to answer him, but I was suddenly pulled back into a hard wall. A hard wall that I instantly melted into because I knew that possessive touch was Gabe’s.

  “Sorry, man. She’s taken,” Gabe’s deep voice said over my head.

  I leaned my head up to look at him, but I was distracted when I heard Kat’s giggle from beside me. She looked at me with wide eyes and raised her eyebrows up and down. She didn’t even stop dancing.

  The man in front of me looked me up and down, and I felt a little exposed by his perusal. Gabe pulled me further into his body and spun me away so the guy didn’t get another look.

  I still had my back pressed to his front as we stood in the middle of th
e dance floor. We weren’t dancing. We were both just standing there breathing, his chest was rising and falling rapidly against my naked back, and I already felt like I could combust.

  How did he do that?

  He leaned down and bit down on my ear which caused me to arch my ass further into him. If I moaned, no one would hear me in this place.

  “Did you wear this dress to drive me crazy tonight?” He ran his hand down my back, and his skin left a trail of goosebumps.

  I nodded my head yes, and his deep laugh filled my ears.

  “I wanted to break that man’s hand off when I saw him touch this skin that I knew was meant for me.” He caressed my back in small, light circles, and it was driving me crazy.

  “I can say the same.” I looked up at him over my shoulder.

  His eyebrows pinched together and a look of confusion filled his face.

  “I saw that girl with her hands on you when I walked in.” I turned my head away from him, but he caught my chin before I could completely get him out of my line of sight.

  He ran his thumb over my bottom lip as he spoke. “Did you also see me push her hand off of me?” I didn’t say anything because I hadn’t. I had looked away before I could see anything. “I don’t want anyone’s hands on me unless they’re yours.” He leaned down and captured my lips in a soft kiss.

  I felt like my head was reeling when he pulled away. It might not have seemed like much to some people, but Gabe had never openly shown affection when we were out. Especially not where his friends could see us. I wasn’t sure what to think.

  Gabe pulled his body away from mine and laced his hand in mine. We began walking toward the bar where all our friends stood, and I suddenly became nervous. I knew they would all support me and my decisions, but I also wanted them to support Gabe. I didn’t want any more animosity toward him about what had happened in the past. If I could get over it, so could they.

  When we got to our friends, Gabe sat down in an empty bar stool and pulled me between his legs. It wasn’t lost on me that he was keeping my back hidden against his body. He kept his arms around my waist, and I began to relax into him.