by Holly Renee
I could feel his breath on my ear, and he bit down on my lobe before he began to speak.
“This pussy is so fucking wet for me. I’ve been thinking about fucking you ever since I walked in the door and saw you in this dress.” He ground his erection against me. “Actually, that’s a lie. I’ve been thinking about fucking you ever since the last time my dick was inside of you.”
I moaned and arched my ass further into him. I didn’t know what it was about his words that turned me on so bad. I had never been into it before, but with Gabe, I couldn’t get enough.
“Have you ever fucked anyone in your childhood bedroom before, Erica?”
I didn’t respond immediately because developing coherent responses was practically impossible when he began moving his hand against my center.
He must have took my silence as my answer because he pushed his hand against my pussy so roughly that he slightly lifted my body off the bed and into his. I felt like I was coming out of my skin.
“Did he fuck you like I fuck you? Were you dripping wet before he ever got his hands on you?” He slid his hand into my panties and proved his point by sliding his fingers through my slick skin.
“Did he make you come on his tongue, his hand, and his cock like I do? Did he spread you open and take exactly what he thought was his,” he pushed my legs apart roughly with his other hand and pulled my ass into the air, “or did he ask permission? Did you feel like you were going to die if he didn’t slide into you within the next few seconds?” I heard the sound of his zipper and a condom wrapper being ripped open.
“Gabe,” I tried to get out a complete thought, but his fingers were rubbing small, hard circles against my clit and I wanted nothing more than to give in to the feeling. “There has never been anyone else in this room. There has never been anyone else like you.”
His deep growl filled the room. “You’re damn right there hasn’t.”
He pushed my panties to the side and slammed inside me. I was more than ready for him, and my pussy contracted around him as his hand continued to force me over the edge.
Gabe’s free arm slid under my chest, and he pulled me up until I was on all fours. He didn’t stop slamming into me, and for a second, I thought his powerful thrust may send me over the edge of the bed, but he gripped my hip in his hand and held me exactly where he wanted me.
His grip was almost painful, and it pushed me that much further into oblivion. As always, Gabe knew exactly what my body needed, and with one more thrust, he pinched my clit between his fingers and I dropped to my elbows and buried my face into the blanket to muffle the loud scream that accompanied the orgasm that tore through me.
Gabe moved both of his hands to my ass and gripped each cheek in his hands as he found his own release inside of me.
He dropped down to the bed and pulled my back against him. We laid there for a few minutes bringing our breathing and our heart rates down to normal.
I sat up and looked at him behind me. He was still fully dressed, just like me, with only his pants undone.
“We just had sex in my parents’ house,” I whispered as if we weren’t just moaning out each other’s name without a care in the world.
He just nodded his head with a smile on his face.
“With my parents’ in it.” I made big eyes at him.
“It was hot wasn’t it. It made me feel like a teenager again. Scared that we might get caught. Especially since I didn’t lock the doors.”
He laughed at the expression on my face and sat up and kissed my lips softly. “I’m just kidding. I locked the door.”
“You better have.” I looked to the door just to make sure he wasn’t lying.
“What? Would you have regretted it if I hadn’t?” he asked with laughter in his voice.
I turned back toward him and looked him straight in the eye.
“Never.”
That was the thing about Gabe Lawson. I would never regret anything with him. He may break my heart. He could leave again, and I would become a broken shell of the girl I had always been, but I would never regret him.
Never.
I shot up in bed and buried my head in my hands. My breathing was rapid, and I felt like I needed to hit something. I wanted to bury my fist so far in someone’s face that it made me feel wild.
Something stirred beside me, and I looked down to see Erica’s naked body barely covered by her sheet curling into my body. I wasn’t sure how I hadn’t woken her with my nightmare, but I was damn glad I hadn’t. I didn’t need her to see me like this. It made me feel weak.
I wiped the sweat off of my forehead and took another deep breath. It had been weeks since I had a nightmare. If I really thought about it, I hadn’t had one since Erica and I had been spending every night together. She seemed to calm something inside me that I had never been able to tame before.
We had a great day the day before. After I fucked her in her childhood bedroom, we took turns using her bathroom to get presentable again then we rejoined the party. No one seemed to suspect anything. It wasn’t really a shocker. Their house was large, a mansion compared to what I grew up in, and no one could hear anything that had happened upstairs.
We talked and laughed with her parents, I got to know her brother better, and we had a great time, but it also made me realize how different Erica and I had grown up.
She had a family that loved her and showed her that love every chance they got. I had the exact opposite. I spent most of my nights in my teenage years dreaming that something would happen to my parents’. I know it sounded cruel, but having them out of mine and Kara’s life would have made everything better. I was in no shape to take care of myself and my little sister, but I could have done a much better job if my worthless parents weren’t in the picture.
Erica grew up in a nice house with nice things. Kara and I didn’t know if we were going to eat most days. Every day was a struggle. Every day we spent worrying about what would happen to us.
I knew that I shouldn’t let any of that affect me and Erica being together, but it was hard not to think about. Erica was going to want a family. She was going to want a fairytale ending to her life, and I didn’t know if I could give that to her. I wanted to. Fuck, I wanted to, but I didn’t know if I could give it to her.
I had no business with children. I didn’t think I was a bad guy. Logically, I knew what happened to Kara wasn’t all my fault, but it still fucked me up. I always felt uneasy when children were around. I tried to avoid the situation anytime I could.
Erica deserved better than that. She didn’t need a man who woke up in the middle of the night haunted by his own memories. She deserved someone who could always protect her. Not someone who she had to help calm the storm inside of him. The man that Erica was meant to be with should be someone who would make a great father. Someone who could match every step she took in life and help lead her to something better. I wasn’t that man.
I wanted to be him, though. There was nothing in this world I wanted more than to be that man for her. I just wasn’t sure how to become him. It felt like it was impossible.
I looked down at her sleeping next to me, and I couldn’t imagine not becoming that man. Leaving her again wasn’t an option. I felt like my heart was being ripped out the first time I left her.
It didn’t escape me that I loved her. I fucking knew that I did. It was what to do with it that I was clueless about.
Telling her was out of the picture right now. Neither one of us were ready for that yet. I just needed to figure my own shit out before I went any further. I couldn’t make any promises to her.
I knew what I needed to do and who I needed to talk to. Looking at the clock, I saw that it was six o’clock in the morning. I knew he would be awake. He was an early riser, and he was the man who had always supported me and given me the most honest advice.
Blake’s father opened the door right after I knocked. He was still in his pajamas and had a cup of coffee in his hand.
“Gabe. W
hat are you doing here?”
“Hey, Mr. Reagan. I was hoping that you had a minute to talk.”
He pulled the door open and motioned me inside. “Of course, son.”
He always called me son. He had for a very long time, but it still affected me every single time he did it. He was the closest thing to a father that I had ever had.
I followed him into the house and sat down in a chair across from him in the living room. There was a newspaper folded up on the coffee table that I’m sure I’d pulled him from. The house was quiet, and I knew Blake’s mom was probably still asleep. She wasn’t an early riser like her husband.
Mr. Reagan took a drink of his coffee before sitting it on the table beside him.
“Can I get you some coffee?”
“No. I’m good.” I picked at a loose string on the arm of the chair.
“What can I do for you, Gabe? What’s on your mind?”
“Did you always know that you were good enough for Mrs. Reagan?”
“Hell, boy.” He leaned back in his chair. “I’ve never been good enough for her.”
I was a little bit shocked by his confession. He was one of the best men I knew, and he was the perfect husband.
“But you two are perfect together.”
“We’re perfect together because we love each other. Neither one of us are actually perfect. We both have our flaws. God knows that I have far more than she does, but none of that matters to us because we love each other. We work every day to make each other happy and to show each other that we love each other. It’s not always easy.”
I thought about what he said, but it still didn’t add up. I had never seen the two of them when they didn’t look like they were madly in love with each other.
“But what if you truly weren’t good enough for her. How would you go about making yourself, I don’t know, better?” I asked as I stumbled over my words.
“Gabe.” He sighed and scooted forward in his chair. He leveled his eyes with mine. “If there is one thing in this lifetime that I can teach you and hope that it sticks, it would be this. You are a good man.” His voice was strong. “I know what happened to you makes you doubt that.” I turned my head away because I hated talking about it. I hated when I had to hear anything about my past out loud. “Look at me.” My head snapped up and I followed his command. “Don’t you ever, for one second, doubt yourself. You. Are. A. Good. Man.” He sounded out each word. “If Erica is who you love, then you tell that girl and you man up. The only way you won’t be good enough for her is if you string her along and don’t find the courage to show her who you really are. That girl loves you, Gabe. We can all see it from a mile away, and you deserve her love. You just need to learn how to accept it. I’m not telling you that being in love with someone is easy, but I will tell you that you will wake up every single day, look down at her lying in your bed, and thank God for bringing her to you.”
“But what if I fuck up?”
“Oh. You will. Don’t worry about that. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve fucked up before. The trick is to have a woman who is worth trying your hardest for. If you try your hardest to be the best version of you that you can, then she will always forgive you.”
“But what if she doesn’t?” I was different from him. My fuck ups would probably be much larger.
“She will.” My eyes snapped up to Mrs. Reagan walking in the room. She sat down on the arm of Mr. Reagan’s chair and ran her hand through his hair. “If she loves you, she’ll forgive you, and trust me, Erica loves you. She’s probably just as scared as you are. The trick is being scared together. Everything is easier when you’re together. Everything is better.”
Mr. Reagan wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her into him before laying a kiss on her hand.
I stood from my seat. “Thank you both for the advice. I really appreciate it.”
“You don’t have to thank us, Gabe. You may not be blood, but you are our son,” Mr. Reagan’s voice was strong and left no room for argument.
I left their house feeling better than I had in a long time. I felt clear, calm, and loved.
The bed was empty when I reached my hand out in search of Gabe. I looked around my room in a sleepy haze and found a note laying on his pillow.
I headed into work early. I’ll see you when I get home.
-Gabe
I held the note against my chest and inhaled his scent from his pillow. It didn’t escape me that Gabe had wrote home on his note. Not his home. Not my home. Just home. Gabe had become my home over the last few weeks. I wanted to be where he was. I didn’t feel comfortable in my own home if he wasn’t there.
Protecting my heart from him seemed like such a joke now that I thought about it. I wasn’t sure how I ever was truly capable of that. I hadn’t stood a chance. It was foolish to think I did.
I clicked on my mouse aimlessly at work. It had become almost impossible to get any work done. I spent most of my day thinking about Gabe. I thought about his smile. I imagined his deep laugh. Him bending me over my desk had become a constant daydream that ran through my mind.
My phone buzzed on my desk and my heart sped up hoping it was Gabe. Looking down at my phone, I saw my best friend’s name on the screen.
Kat: Hey. What time do you get off today?
Me: Usually around 5. Why, what’s up?
It made me feel bad that I was kind of hoping she didn’t want to make plans tonight. The only plans I wanted to have were with Gabe in either my bed or his.
Kat: Is there any chance you can meet me at your house on your lunch break?
That was odd.
Me: Of course. Everything okay?
Kat: I’m not sure. I just need to talk.
My heart was racing. I couldn’t imagine what was wrong with her. I prayed that nothing had happened with her and Blake. It would completely destroy her.
Me: I’ll leave now. Meet me there.
I walked into Dr. Smith’s office and let him know that I was leaving for lunch and that I might not be back for the rest of the day. I sped to my apartment and saw Kat’s car as soon as I pulled in.
She climbed out of her car as I climbed out of mine, and I could see her hands shaking as she lifted the strap of her purse onto her shoulder.
“I’m freaking out over here. What’s wrong?” I asked as I led the way into my apartment.
“I’m not sure if anything is wrong. I’m just nervous, and I didn’t want to do this alone.” Kat sat down on my couch and started digging in her purse.
“What do you not want to do alone?” My heart was still racing. “You’re being cryptic, and it’s killing me.”
She pulled her hand out of her purse and held up three pregnancy tests and a smile took over her face.
“Oh my God. Oh. My. God.” I was squealing like a school girl. “Are you serious?”
Kat giggled. “Well, I’m not sure yet. If you couldn’t tell, these are still in the wrapper.”
“So what are you waiting on? Let’s go. Do you need some water? What do you need?”
“First, I need you to calm down. You’re making me more nervous than I was before I got here.” She absently ran her hand over her stomach.
“What are you nervous about? You are going to be an amazing mother.” I was being completely honest. I didn’t know a single person who would make a better mother than her.
“I think I’m most nervous that I’m not, honestly. Ever since I started having symptoms and the thought came to me, I’ve been so excited. I really want this. Blake and I didn’t plan on this happening so early, but now I want it.”
Her smile was so genuine and it lit up her whole face as she talked.
“Well, are you ready to do this?” I asked through my own smile.
“Yes. Come on. You’re going with me.”
We headed into the bathroom, and I opened the tests while she sat on the toilet. I handed her the first test, and she began to pee. We worked like a well-oiled machine. She handed me
the test when she was done with it, and I handed her the next. We did all three tests just to be sure.
Kat sat on the edge of my bathtub, and I sat on the bathroom counter while we waited for the longest three minutes of our life.
“What if it’s not positive?” Kat asked and ran her hand through her hair.
“Then you and Blake get to have lots of sex while you keep trying. You are young. You have plenty of time.”
“You’re right. It will be okay either way.” She shook out her hand.
I looked down at the tests. There was 30 seconds left, but I could already see two blue lines filling the little screen of two of the test. The third test seemed to be taking its sweet time, but the words pregnant appeared right as the timer began to beep incessantly.
Kat stood from her spot on the tub but didn’t walk to where I sat.
“I can’t even look. Just tell me.”
“Well, Mrs. Reagan,” I said dramatically. “It looks like I’m going to be an aunt.”
Kat smiled right before the flood gates opened and tears poured down her face. She sat back down on tub and buried her face in her hands. My own tears began to flow, and I jumped off the counter and got on my knees in front of her.
“Kat,” I said hesitantly. I wasn’t sure if we were crying happy tears or freaked out tears. Either one would be completely understandable.
“I’m going to be a mom,” she looked at me through her fingers.
I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and held her body against mine. “You are. You and Blake are going to be the best parents ever.”
Kat stood suddenly and almost knocked me on my ass. “I’ve got to go see Blake. I have to tell Blake.”
“Okay.” I scurried until I was standing. “Maybe you should take a deep breath first.”
Kat laughed then turned to me. “I’m okay. I swear. I’m just so happy.”
“I’m happy for you. Promise you’ll call me later and tell me how it goes with Blake.”
“I promise.”
Her smile was infectious, and she was practically skipping as she made her way out of my apartment.
