by Holly Renee
“Be careful,” I yelled after her. “You have my niece or nephew as precious cargo now.”
A hand sliding over the curve of my ass woke me from my nap. I had decided not to go back to work after Kat left, and I fell asleep on the couch watching some bad reality TV. I stretched my arms above my head and the hand on my ass moved between my legs. Even through my clothes, I could tell it was Gabe’s hand. I didn’t need to feel his skin to know it was his touch.
“Mmm,” I mewled when he pressed his hand harder against me.
I felt his weight shift off the couch and his hand moved down my thigh. He was knelt beside me and devouring my body with his eyes. He traced the line of my body with a light touch that caused goosebumps to break out across my skin.
“I missed you today,” he said as his eyes followed the exploration of his hand.
“I missed you too.” The sound of my voice was a mix between sleep and arousal.
Gabe gripped my hip in his hand and flipped me over onto my back. His hand moved back down my bare leg before retracing his steps up the other one. I squirmed and pushed my thighs together when his fingers toyed with the hem of my shorts. He skipped over my throbbing center and pushed my shirt up and ran his tongue in a circle around my belly button. He didn’t speak a word as he was putting me through the exquisite torture, and the silence seemed to make every touch stronger than it should have been.
His hand skimmed over my breast before he ran it up my neck and gripped my head. His mouth came down on mine and the little breath I had left disappeared. His body was barely touching mine, but I could feel him on every inch of my skin.
His grip on my neck tightened and he pulled me into him until I was sitting up. My legs were pulled apart and he settled himself between them. He let go of my neck and my head hit the back of the couch. My panties were soaking wet, and he had barely touched me yet.
Gabe reached underneath me and pulled my shorts and panties down my trembling legs. My heart was racing and it wasn’t just from arousal. I never knew what Gabe had planned. Every time I was with him, he surprised me. Every time I was with him, it got better and better.
When my panties cleared my feet, Gabe gripped my knees and pulled my ass to the edge of the couch before he placed each of my feet on the coffee table behind him. I was completely spread open for him. My instinct was to reach down and cover myself, but I knew he wouldn’t like it. He wanted to see me, and that thought alone made me leave my hands exactly where they were.
“You are so gorgeous.” He wasn’t looking at my face. He was staring straight at my core and somehow that seemed to affect me more.
My thighs clenched and pressed further into his sides. His hand caressed the top of my breasts then he roughly pulled my tank top down and exposed my breasts to him. His tongue peeked out and slid across my nipple before he latched onto it with his teeth. My back arched and my breast pushed further into his mouth. His beard was rough against my skin, and I wanted to bury my hands in his hair.
He let go of my nipple with a loud pop then began moving his way back down my body. He pushed my knees further apart then peppered kisses on my right inner thigh. I watched his head lower, and I fisted my hands into the couch.
Gabe’s face disappeared into my flesh, and I screamed out as he harshly sucked my sensitive clit into his mouth. His strong hands slid underneath me and gripped my ass. He lifted my hips closer to his mouth. My tip toes were on the table helping to bare my weight.
There was nothing gentle about what Gabe was doing to me. He was fucking me with his mouth, and there was no other way to explain it. My hips moved against his mouth as his tongue, lips, and teeth creating a deep ache inside me.
“God, Gabe. Fuck.” I desperately needed something. I wasn’t sure what, but I didn’t even need to say it out loud. Gabe knew exactly what I needed.
His finger slid inside of me, and I almost lost my footing on the table. Gabe noticed and pulled one of my legs over his shoulder. I felt stretched to my limits, but I wanted more. I wanted him to split me open.
He sucked my clit deep into his mouth and curled his finger inside of me. That was all it took.
“Fuck.”
“Gabe.”
“Oh God.”
My vision went blurry, and I barely noticed him picking me up. I felt like all my energy had been drained. My legs loosely wrapped around his waist, and my arms rested on his shoulders. The cool wall hit my back as Gabe’s weight slammed into me. My pussy clenched and I was shock at how aroused I was again after just falling apart on his mouth.
“I’ve got to get inside you,” he growled as he fumbled with his jeans.
I heard the clink of his belt hitting the ground right before he ripped a condom open with his teeth. He sheathed himself and slid inside me in record time. Every slide of his skin against mine seemed to be magnified due to how raw I still felt after my orgasm.
My back slammed into the wall over and over, but Gabe kept one hand protecting my head while the other was on my ass helping to control our movements. I listened to the in and out pull of his breath and the slapping of his skin against mine. He pumped into me with power, and I had no choice but to let him control my body.
Somehow it felt different than the sex we had before. He felt more desperate. It was as if I was the only thing helping him survive. I was the only thing he was surviving for.
My sex clamped down around him and another orgasm, this one stronger than the last, ripped through my body. It was sudden and unexpected, and it took everything inside me not to scream out that I loved him. My body felt like it was floating further and further away from the girl I had always been and closer to the girl I wanted to be. Overwhelmed with the desire to tell him how much I loved him, I bit down on his shoulder that was still clad in his t-shirt to prevent myself from making a mistake.
Me loving Gabe wasn’t enough. He had to want my love, and if I said it too early, I would ruin everything. I would scare him away and break my own heart in the process.
Gabe’s loud voice boomed through my apartment, “Fuck.”
He used my body to ride out his orgasm, and he was pulling my body so far into his that it was almost painful.
I could feel his heart thumbing against my chest, and I was sure that he could feel mine as well. He stayed in the position for several minutes, holding me to him, and not letting me go. I tightened my grip around him as well and buried my face in his neck.
I may not have been able to say the words yet, but I hoped he could feel it. My body was about to combust with how much I loved him, and I wanted him to feel it as my fingertips ran across his skin. I had never wanted something so much in my entire life.
A cold chill seemed to pull me from my sleep. I blindly reached across the bed and searched for my usual source of heat but came up empty. The fog of sleep was trying to take over, but I blinked my eyes open. It was almost pitch black in my room with the exception of the moon light peaking in through my windows, and Gabe’s side of the bed was empty.
I moved the covers off my lap and went to stand up when I noticed his silhouette in the corner of the room. He was sitting in my chair and had his head buried in his hands. He was perfectly still, and I couldn’t tell if he was awake or if he had fallen asleep like that.
“Gabe,” I whispered just in case it was the latter.
His head shot up and his cold eyes looked straight at me. Actually, they seemed to look straight through me. I jolted back as if I had been physically slapped and covered myself with the blanket. The room was suddenly freezing.
“When were you going to tell me?” His voice was filled with ice.
“Tell you what?” My head was still half asleep, and I had no clue was he was talking about.
“This.” He threw something onto the bed in front of me, and I reached out to find out what it was. “When were you going to tell me about that?” He pointed an angry, accusing finger at Kat’s pregnancy test that I was holding in my hand. “I can’t fucking bel
ieve this. I can’t fucking deal with this.”
“Gabe,” I whispered because I was startled by how angry he was.
“Don’t.” He cut me off before I could get another word out. He stormed out of my room, and it was the first time I noticed that he was fully dressed.
I grabbed the sheet off of my bed and wrapped it around my naked body. His anger made me self-conscious, and I had no intentions of being completely bare in front of him in that moment.
When I made it out of my room, he was opening the front door to my apartment and had his keys in his hand.
“Gabe, stop. Let me explain.” But he didn’t give me a chance. He slammed the door behind him and disappeared just as easily as he did the first time.
When Gabe walked away from me months ago, I was devastated. I felt like I was breaking and wasn’t sure if I would ever feel whole again.
Not this time.
When Gabe’s back disappeared behind my door, the only feeling that seemed to course through my veins was anger. Pure fucking rage.
How dare he?
He didn’t even give me a chance to explain the pregnancy test before he stormed out of here with nothing but hatred on his face.
I knew Gabe wasn’t ready for kids. Hell, I was nowhere ready myself, but his reaction infuriated me. He acted like I somehow planned this, as if I was nothing more than a whore who wanted to get knocked up by the great Gabe Lawson. Did he really think that I would hide something like that from him?
As far as I could see, he was the only one who kept secrets. He sat so fucking high on his pedestal that he couldn’t see that I loved him far too much to ever do something like that. That was the shitty part too. Even as mad as I was, my love for him still overpowered everything. Between thoughts of murdering him, I couldn’t quit thinking about where he went. Was he okay?
I marched into my bedroom and threw my sheet on the bed that seemed to be filled with so much love last night. What a joke.
I tugged on a pair of panties and slid my legs into my yoga pants. If anyone was in my apartment right then, they would have probably sent me to a psychiatric hospital. I pulled a t-shirt over my head as I mumbled to myself about all the things I would do once I got my hands on him. I grabbed his hoodie that was hanging on the foot of my bed and threw it over my head. I tucked the pregnancy test in the front pocket and left my house with more determination than I had ever felt.
It was five in the morning by the time I pulled into Kat and Blake’s driveway. I went to Gabe’s first, but he was nowhere in sight, and I knew that the only person who know where he would be was asleep in this house.
I walked up their dark driveway and stepped onto the porch. I felt guilty for barging in on them the night after they found out their news, but I would have done just about anything to get to Gabe.
My finger pressed into the doorbell, and I waited for any sign of life. When no movement came from inside, I began banging my fist on the front door and didn’t let up until the light came on in the living room.
The front door was flung open and Blake’s furious face filled up the space.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he bit out.
“Where is he, Blake?” I put my hands on my hips.
“Where is who?” He matched my defensive stance except he crossed his arms.
“Erica,” Kat’s voiced called out as she came around the corner pulling a t-shirt over her head.
“Don’t fuck with me, Blake.” I pointed a finger at his chest. “Tell me where Gabe is. Where would he go?”
Blake stood there like a statue and didn’t say a word. His eyes were assessing me, but I didn’t give a crap what they saw. He was going to tell me what I needed to know one way or another.
“Erica, what’s wrong?” Kat stopped beside me and put her hand on my arm.
I turned my eyes away from Blake to look at her. “Your stubborn husband won’t tell me where Gabe is. That’s what’s wrong.” I turned back to Blake. “I need to know where he would go.” I practically growled.
“Blake Reagan. You tell her right now.” Kat’s voice was stern and Blake’s death stare was tripped up by her command.
“Kat, I’m his best friend.” His voice was much softer with her than it had been with me.
“If your any friend at all, then you will tell me where he is. I’m not going to kill him. I’m going to rip into him, but not a single blond hair on his head will be hurt.”
He narrowed his eyes at me and my sarcastic tone, but I couldn’t care less. I would apologize later if I needed to. Right now, I was only concerned about one man.
“I don’t know what happened,” Blake rubbed the back of his neck, “but if you’ve got him fucked up in the head there is only one place he would go. Grandview Cemetery in Roger County.”
“But that’s an hour away…”
“His sister?” My question interrupted Kat, and Blake just nodded his head at me.
I ran out of their house and out to my car. I didn’t bother saying bye, and I didn’t bother explaining. I ripped my car door open and slammed my car into reverse.
The drive to the cemetery was long and boring. Every moment of mine and Gabe’s relationship seemed to be running through my mind like a highlight reel. I was so angry with him. So damn angry. But more than anything, I was worried.
If I had found out I was pregnant, I would have slightly freaked out, but I also would have been happy. I couldn’t imagine what had to be going through his mind for him to be so angry with me. What had happened to him in his life that he was hiding from me?
I should have pushed him. I should have demanded that he talk to me. I was as big of a coward as he was. The fear of losing him stopped me. I was so scared to lose him that I was willing to let him crawl inside of himself as long as he gave me some of him. A piece of Gabe seemed far better than nothing, but I couldn’t do it anymore. Hell, I didn’t know if he wanted anything from me anymore. And just like that my anger began to boil over again.
The trees seemed to pass by me in a blur. My GPS led me down busy highways before turning on to quaint little roads. The houses were full of character with colorful shutters and porch swings swaying in the wind. One thing I knew about Gabe was that he didn’t grow up here. He grew up in the same town that we currently lived in. I didn’t know what this place meant to him.
The Grandview Cemetery sign hung on a black wrought iron fence that seemed to encase the entire cemetery. I slowly pulled my car through the opening in the fence and parked in the small parking area at the front. Gabe’s truck was parked beside me, but as I looked around, he was nowhere to be seen.
Taking a deep breath to help settle my nerves, I stepped out of my car. The wind lightly blew and the curls that couldn’t be contained in my bun bounced against my face. I curled my arms around myself to fight off the chill in the air.
Spinning in a circle, I looked at the rows and rows of headstones. Some were new and some were old. Bright flowers decorated many, but then there were the ones that looked like they hadn’t been visited in years.
I began walking aimlessly through the grounds and reading the headstones as I went. I was surprised by how little time had passed between the dates listed. You never realized how short life was until it was looking you in the face.
I dragged myself up a small hill and stopped mid-stride as soon as I made it to the top. Gabe sat in the distance right in front of a headstone. I couldn’t see his face because it was buried in his hands, but I would know him anywhere. His back muscles were bunched under his white t-shirt, and I knew he had to be cold. Not that he would ever admit it.
I slowly made my way to where he sat, and he didn’t notice me until I was almost a foot away. His head shot up and snapped toward the sound of my feet crunching against the grass.
His eyes were red, and he looked exhausted. It was almost enough to make any resolve I had managed to hold on to crumble. I wanted to drop to my knees in front of him and tell him that everything would be okay
, but I didn’t know that. Our chances of being okay were completely up to him at this point.
His eyes turned dark when he seemed to realize that I was standing in front of him.
“What are you doing here?” His voice was gruff and angry, and it made my own anger come back to the surface. “How did you…”
“No.” I cut him off before he could say anything else to piss me off. “You don’t get to fucking talk.”
He jerked back almost unnoticeably, but I could tell he was shocked by the venom in my voice.
“How dare you talk to me the way you did in my apartment? How dare you walk out without giving me a chance to talk? And then you come here.” I swept my arms out toward the lonely headstones. “To a place that you never let me be a part of. To a place you keep buried so deep inside yourself while I give you everything. You’re a damn coward.”
I spun to walk away, but I stopped after taking two steps and stormed back toward him. My fist clenched around the pregnancy test that rested in my pocket, and I momentarily thought I might crush it. He looked shocked when the test hit him square in the chest and bounced onto the ground in front of him.
“By the way, asshole. Congratulations. You’re going to be an uncle.”
I didn’t stand there and wait for realization to hit. I turned my back to him like he had done to me so many times before. My vision became cloudy, and I bit down on my lip trying to keep the tears at bay. A tear streamed down my cheek, and I angrily wiped it away.
I was practically speed walking back to my car and the air whooshed out of me when his strong arm wrapped around my waist from behind. I slapped his hand and tried to get out of his grip.
“Let me go.” My tears were pouring down my face now.
“No,” he whispered against the back of my neck as he tugged me closer to his body.
He had me lifted off the ground, and I blindly swung my legs behind me hoping that I would connect a foot with his shin and cause him to let me go.
