Her Guardian Rancher

by Brenda Minton

  Standing in the kitchen, Daron smiled when he saw them. Emma froze, trying to fit this man into the image of the one she’d known for several years. This man was dressed in slacks, a soft gray button-down shirt and black boots. His face was freshly shaved. He smelled wonderful, all spices and mountain air kind of wonderful.

  He lifted Jamie and then wrapped an arm around Emma. Art was already picking over the food and talking to Daron’s dad.

  “I want an elephant,” Jamie whispered to Daron.

  He hugged her tight. “I know you do. I’m afraid the store was all out of elephants this year. I did get something pretty cute, though.” To Emma he said, “You look beautiful.”

  She wanted him to mean it. She wanted him to mean that she fit. That she didn’t have to be someone else.

  “Have you seen Daron’s new horses?” Janette asked as they walked to the living room, where the tree sparkled and presents wrapped in bright-colored paper were piled high.

  “New horses?” She shook her head. “I guess I haven’t.”

  “Big mouth,” Daron said as he scooted past his sister. “I was going to show you today. One of them needs some work. I bought them from Jake.”

  “Not...” She bit down on her lip.

  He shook his head. “Not the mare. I wouldn’t do that. But the mare has a foal. Pretty nice colt.”

  She shook her head and he gave a brief nod. “You can show me your horses later.”

  A noise from under the tree offered a welcome distraction. Jamie was scurrying, trying to find it. She grabbed at a blanket and laughed, a real belly laugh, the kind that made a mom so happy. Even if the thing her daughter was laughing at was a living, breathing creature. A kitten.

  “My kitty.” Jamie dropped to her knees and tried to open the cage. Janette got down on the floor to help her. The kitten was long-haired, gray and had blue eyes. It mewed and, as soon as the door was open, crawled into Jamie’s lap.

  “A kitten,” Emma said. She managed to frown at Daron. She wanted to be upset with him. But the kitten and her daughter made a beautiful picture, and she couldn’t be mad. She shifted her gaze from his because she didn’t want to be lost in what she felt for him.

  “We should open gifts,” Nora McKay suggested, watching the two of them and then shifting her eyes away. She started passing around the many presents from under the tree, enlisting Jamie as her helper.

  Jamie took the responsibility very seriously, holding her kitten under one arm as she delivered gifts. There was a pile for her, and when all the gifts were passed out, Jamie leaned to kiss a wrapped present and then she kissed her kitten. Emma sat down on the floor next to her daughter.

  “Let Jamie open hers first, and us old people will watch.” Daron’s dad had leaned back in a chair, his feet propped up on an ottoman. “This is my favorite part of Christmas and it’s been a long time since we’ve celebrated one here at the ranch with a child around.”

  Jamie didn’t have to be told twice. She happily started opening gifts, occasionally pulling her kitten back to her lap when it tried to get away. There were games and books, dolls and a preschool art kit.

  Emma watched as Jamie played. She watched and wished that everything could be as perfect as this moment.

  Soon, with all the presents opened and the wrapping paper shoved into garbage bags, they all settled down and she knew that it was almost time to talk to Daron.

  Art was talking to Daron’s dad. His mom and sister were with Emma, clearing the table. Jamie was curled up on a pallet of blankets with a sleeping, purring kitten.

  She’d named the kitten Buster.

  Yes, it all seemed perfect. But she knew from experience that perfect had a way of falling apart.

  * * *

  Daron walked up behind Emma. She half turned, smiled and went back to drying dishes.

  “Walk with me?”

  She paused and he thought she might say no. “Okay.”

  She hung the dish towel on the bar and followed him. He wanted to take her hand, but he had a feeling she wouldn’t let him. Not in front of everyone. They walked side by side, not speaking. When they got to the stable, she waited for him to push the door open and she went in ahead of him.

  The horses were in stalls. He flipped on lights and she went immediately to them, stopping first at the POA, Pony of America. The small gelding was showy with his Appaloosa markings. He had a nice head and good eyes. For Daron it was always about the eyes.

  “This one is too small for you,” she said in a soft tone without looking at him. Her hand was on the neck of the pony.

  “Yeah, I guess. I just thought someday...” He paused because he didn’t know what he’d been thinking, not really. Cart before the horse—that was what had happened that day. Without knowing their future, he had assumed she and Jamie would always be in his life.

  Man, he really wanted them in his life.

  But he had a bad feeling about this. “Say something.”

  She put her face to the face of the pony. “He’s beautiful.”

  “Not what I was looking for.”

  “I know.” She moved on to the mare in the next stall. A pretty girl, all showy and expressive.

  Daron stepped next to Emma. “Is it because of the kitten?”

  She shook her head. He saw a tiny lift of her mouth. “No.”

  “Are you going to tell me that we’re through?”

  “What are we, Daron? Friends? Your charity case? We make you feel better about what happened in Afghanistan?” She shook her head. “Forgive me. That was wrong. So wrong.”

  He shrugged it off. “Maybe those were my intentions at first, to soothe my guilt. I think we both know that. I felt guilty for what happened. And after years of driving past your house, checking on you, it became a habit.”

  “Right. So how do we know what we really feel? What part of this is habit, what part is real?”

  “All I can tell you is what I feel. It’s not a secret.” He wanted to pull her close, kiss her, tell her she didn’t have to be afraid. But he knew that now wasn’t the time. She was going to have to figure this out on her own.

  He was going to have to let her. He couldn’t remember ever having a broken heart. Maybe once, in fifth grade when he had a crush on the art teacher. He’d brought her flowers, written her a poem and she sat him down one day and said someday some girl would come into his life and it would be wonderful. But Miss Craig had a boyfriend and she planned to get married that summer.

  He’d been waiting twenty years for that someday girl.

  She was standing next to him crying silent tears as she told him, and he shook his head as he listened.

  “I think we shouldn’t see each other for a while. Because I need to know what I feel. And I need for you to know. I don’t want to get six months down the road and realize, or have you realize, that this is wrong. I don’t want you to look at me with disgust because I wore the wrong shoes, or fixed my hair the wrong way. I just can’t be that person again.”

  “You aren’t that person. You are incredible, strong and independent. I don’t care if you go barefoot.”

  She laughed a little, the sound ending on a sob. “Oh, I think you would. And I would care. If I looked across the table and saw regret in your eyes, I don’t know if I could handle that.”

  “I’m not Andy.”

  “No, you’re not. And I’m trying so hard to not compare. Because it isn’t you. It’s me. I’m broken. I need to be whole. When I give my heart, I want it to be my whole heart. For the person I love. For my daughter. I want her to know that she has two parents who will love each other, respect each other and stay together for each other and for her.”

  He kissed the top of her head. “I want that, too. I’m not going to argue with you, but I think we are a good fit. And I think our t
ime together clarifies everything we feel.”

  “No, because we’ve been through too much. Not just in the last few weeks but in the last few years.”

  “Okay, I’m going to give you time. But I want to be very clear about one thing. I know what I feel for you. It isn’t pity. It isn’t charity. This isn’t coming from a guilty conscience.”

  “But some time apart will help you know for certain.”

  He drew her to him, touching his mouth to hers, tasting her tears as he kissed her. She clung to him for a moment and then she let go.

  “That isn’t friendship, Emma.”

  “I think I should go now.”

  “If that’s what you think you need to do. I...” He shook his head. “No, I don’t understand.”

  “Neither do I,” she admitted quietly. “I just feel like this came out of nowhere and I need to know for sure, you need to know, what it is we’re feeling.”

  “And you think we can do that apart?” He shook his head. “Emma, I don’t want to be away from you, not even for a day. So I guess I know how I feel.”

  “Then I’m the one who has to know for sure what you feel, and what I feel. I should go.”

  “If that’s what you want.”

  He walked her back to the house. She gathered up the stuffed elephant Daron had bought for Jamie, and the games from his parents, the books from his sister. Her granddad had been given a hand-carved checker set. Daron watched as she smiled and talked to his parents, his sister. She stopped to tell Jamie something about her kitten.

  He’d forgotten his gift for her. Other than the horses. But he couldn’t tell her now that the horses were for her. He handed her a small box. “You can unwrap it later.”

  She held it for a moment, then tried to give it back.

  He shook his head. “It’s for you, Emma. It wouldn’t suit anyone else and I refuse to take it back.”

  She put the box in her purse and thanked him. And then she pulled a box from her bag and handed it to him. He opened his gift. A Bible. It was engraved. He opened it and she’d written in the inside that she hoped this Bible would guide him on his journey, wherever it might take him. And she hoped he knew that he had a friend who would always be praying for him.

  It sounded like a pretty serious goodbye to him.

  Chapter Seventeen

  The first day of the New Year dawned cold and rainy. Emma drove out through the field, still in Daron’s truck. She had called to tell him she’d sold her steers and was getting her old farm truck fixed. He told her to keep his truck as long as she needed it. He wasn’t using it.

  He’d asked how she was and she’d told him she was fine. Of course she was fine. And he’d said the same. But she wondered if either of them was truly fine. Fine didn’t feel like this, like her world was broken apart and needed to be fitted back together again. Fine didn’t feel like waking up every morning wondering if she should call him and tell him she’d made a mistake. Or wondering if he would call and ask to talk.

  Or maybe fine was all of those things. And she wanted more than that. She wanted her world to be beautiful again.

  She’d told him she needed time apart. And he was giving her that. Relationships shouldn’t be rushed into. She’d made that mistake once before.

  She didn’t tell him she’d opened his gift, but she should have. She should have thanked him for the bracelet. It was beautiful. And even though she shouldn’t, she wore it every day. Because it felt like a piece of him was with her. But then, there was also the kitten. That crazy little feline that followed them around, playing with shoes as they walked, climbing on furniture and terrorizing the dog. It was such an innocent-looking little ball of fur. She smiled at the thought of Buster and how much it was loved by Jamie. And when Jamie talked to her kitten, she talked about Daron.

  The cattle came running from the other side of the field. She stopped the truck to drop the round bale, lowering it to the ground with the spike and then pulling away. As the cattle converged on the bale of hay, she got out and grabbed the bag of feed off the back of the truck and carried it to the trough. As she stepped away, the cattle were moving in, nudging and pushing. She climbed back into the truck and headed back to the house.

  Granddad normally took care of morning feeding, but he’d been in the kitchen fixing breakfast and she’d needed the fresh air. She needed time alone to think.

  Lucy was getting out of her truck as Emma got out to close the gate and latch it. She waved and Lucy headed her way.

  “I thought I’d stop by and see how things are going,” Lucy said as they walked into the barn, where the lighting was dim and dust danced on the few beams of sunlight.

  “I’m good. We’ll be going to Austin next week for Jamie’s procedure. Did you see your mom?”

  Lucy shrugged off the question. “No, but I’ve seen my partner. Remember him—Daron? He’s on a job in Dallas. He looks like someone ran him over with a semi.”

  Emma headed out the back door of the barn. She fed the chickens, gathered the few eggs and walked back inside. Lucy waited, patiently.

  “I’m trying to not hurt him, Lucy. I don’t want him confused about what he feels.”

  Lucy shook her head. “It’s really none of my business. I’m the last person who should be giving advice about relationships.”

  “I don’t mind your advice. I just really felt as if everything had moved so quickly and it was wrapped up with Jamie’s illness and Pete’s addiction. It just needs to be unraveled so we know what we are feeling in each situation.”

  “That makes sense to me,” Lucy agreed. “Can I be there, at the hospital with you?”

  “I would love that.” She reached for Lucy and pulled her into a stiff hug. “You’re not a hugger.”

  Lucy pulled back. “No, I’m not. I’ll forgive you this time.”

  “Since we’re still friends, let’s have a cup of coffee and see if Granddad made cinnamon rolls.”

  “I love that idea.”

  They were heading to the house when a familiar white truck pulled up. Lucy said something like “uh-oh” and went on inside, leaving Emma in the yard to face Daron.

  He got out of his truck, patted her dog, and then he looked at her. She looked at him, too. She wasn’t ready to admit how much she missed him.

  “Hi.”

  He pushed back his hat and grinned. “Hey.”

  “I didn’t expect to see you. Lucy said you’re in Dallas.”

  He shrugged off her comment. “I wanted to stop by. I’m home for the day and then back to the job. My mom called. She wanted me to tell you that you and Art are welcome to stay with them when you’re in Austin for Jamie’s surgery. She insisted, so I told her I’d pass it on.”

  “That’s really nice of her, but she doesn’t have to.”

  “Emma, where are you planning to stay?”

  “A hotel. I made reservations.”

  “Stay with my parents. Please. They’ll be upset if you don’t. Go the day before the surgery so Jamie can rest up. Stay with them as long as needed. They’ll enjoy having you there. My dad says he’s going to teach Art to play chess.”

  She nodded, heat climbing into her cheeks. “Tell them thank you, we appreciate it.”

  “She’s going to be fine.” He brushed a hand down her arm, and his fingers touched hers. And then he noticed the bracelet. She saw a hint of a smile. “You opened it. I thought you might not.”

  “I did, and thank you. It’s too much, but I love it.”

  “Tell Jamie I’ll bring her something special to help her recover.”

  “Not an elephant,” Emma warned.

  He had started to walk away and he turned, winking as he smiled that slow, easy smile of his. “Not an elephant.”

  * * *

  Daron got in
his truck, shifted into Reverse, then sat there watching as Emma walked up the steps. She paused on the front porch, but she didn’t turn. Pathetic fool that he was, he waited.

  After a few minutes he backed out of her drive and headed toward Dallas. Driving away from her was the hardest thing he’d had to do. He had wanted to pull into her house, convince her that what they felt was love and that she should give him a chance. Give them a chance.

  Instead he’d respected her wishes and hadn’t pushed. He could only hope, and pray, that she was heading in the same direction he was. Because the last few days had made things pretty clear for him. She and Jamie meant everything to him.

  Boone was waiting for him at their hotel, and also the site of the convention they were providing security for. Daron walked into the room and found his partner sitting on the bed watching a John Wayne movie.

  “Pretty stereotypical,” Daron said as he pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge.

  “What?” Boone reached for his hat and shoved it down on his head. “I think I’m a lot like John Wayne.”

  “Whatever.”

  “Did you see her?”

  “Yep. I passed on the message from my parents and left. Lucy was there.” Daron sat down on the edge of his bed and swigged down half the bottle of water.

  “That’s an odd pair, Lucy and Emma.”

  Daron shrugged. “Not really. Makes sense to me that they’d be friends.”

  “Yeah, I guess. But have you ever known Lucy to have a friend, other than us two?”

  Daron clicked off the TV.

  “What are you going to do now?”

  “My job. I’ve been distracted for the past month, and distraction can get a guy killed.”

  “Yeah, it can.”

  They both went to a dark place. Daron guessed it was the same dark place. A place where he’d been fooled by feelings for a woman and because of it he’d led a few guys into danger. And one of them had died.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Emma tried to pretend it was any other morning. For Jamie’s sake. For her own. But it wasn’t. They weren’t at home; they were in Austin staying with Daron’s parents. And even though Jamie was too young to understand what was happening, she had an idea that it was a big day. She’d been fussy for a few days. She’d cried last night that she wanted Daron.