With This Kiss

by Bella Riley

  Elizabeth knew Rebecca was here every Monday night and that had been part of the reason she hadn’t been in since last fall. But now that they were starting to forge a friendship, there was no reason to stay away.

  “Bill and I have been fixing up our house,” she said by way of an explanation.

  Helen raised her eyebrows. “Working on the house with my late husband made me want to take a hammer to his head. My hat is off to you, Elizabeth.”

  It should have made her feel better to know that most husbands and wives didn’t get along all of the time. It should have pleased her to note that people saw a loving partnership when they looked at her marriage.

  Instead, she felt like it was one more lie added to all of the others she’d been telling for so long.

  She looked around the store. “Isn’t Rebecca usually here on Monday nights?”

  Andi handed her a glass of wine. “She just finished her project and had to leave.”

  Elizabeth took the wine, her usually steady hands on the verge of shaking. “I’m sorry I missed her.”

  Realizing too late that half a dozen eyes were on her, assuming they must all be wondering how she felt about Sean and Rebecca dating—if she was angry or felt that Stu had been betrayed by his ex-fiancée and brother—she quickly changed the subject.

  “How was your honeymoon, Andi? You look fantastic.”

  Elizabeth smiled at all the right places, made appropriate comments when necessary, and she even knitted a few rows of a simple baby blanket pattern Helen got her started on, but coming to Lake Yarns hadn’t made her feel any better.

  On the contrary, she felt more tense—more scared—than ever before. The weight of her secret had never been heavier. And she knew deep within her heart that she couldn’t possibly expect Sean to keep it for her forever. Not if she ever wanted to have a real, loving relationship with him—and the family he would surely have one day—again.

  Soon.

  She needed to tell Bill the truth soon.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Sean had been tempted to wait at the front desk for Rebecca to come back from her knitting group, but the last time he’d done that, she’d thought he didn’t trust her to take care of herself.

  He did trust her. In a way he’d never trusted anyone else.

  And that was why he forced himself to head upstairs to his room, to open his laptop and wade through e-mails that should have been answered long before tonight.

  Concentrating had never been a problem for Sean. It shouldn’t have mattered that he hadn’t been getting much sleep. Heck, in the past, a circus could have been going on all around him and he would have been focused on his task. On his goal.

  But tonight he didn’t have a prayer.

  How could he when he was checking the clock on his computer or the watch on his wrist every other minute? When he was holding his breath waiting for footsteps outside his door, for the moment when Rebecca came back to him, warm and pretty and so damn sweet he never wanted to let her go.

  Sean pushed away from the couch and walked over to the window that looked out on Main Street. He hadn’t been planning to stay in Emerald Lake. Even if he decided to buy a string of inns, he’d been planning to run his business from Boston or New York City, close to funding and opportunities and partners.

  Only, he couldn’t take her from Emerald Lake. She was as much a part of the land, the water, the mountains as anyone whose family had been here for generations. And the thought of leaving Rebecca behind had every muscle in his body tightening.

  Again and again he found himself thinking back to their flight, to their conversation on his beach… to what she’d told him: She loved him.

  And what he’d told her: He trusted her.

  Their first kiss had been more than a little unexpected. The sparks that ignited between the sheets blew his mind every single time they came together. But Sean had had good sex before. Not anywhere as good as it was with Rebecca, but what he used to think was good enough.

  So it wasn’t sex that had him rethinking everything.

  Rebecca’s love—and the way he trusted her—were two things he’d never seen coming.

  The rain was coming down, a spring shower that would turn buds to leaves, dirt to grass, ice to lake water. The dark street was empty, the lights all along Main Street making it look like a movie set for an old film like Singing in the Rain.

  That was when he saw Rebecca running across the street, through puddles, a bag clutched to her chest. A half-dozen emotions ran through him. The desire that had been there from that first moment. A surge of protectiveness, the knowledge that he would sweep the sky of rain if he could keep her dry and warm.

  But strongest of all was the one emotion he never thought he’d be able to feel. Or recognize. But it was there, so strong, so powerful, he had to grip the edges of the window frame to steady himself.

  Love.

  He loved her.

  Rebecca hadn’t promised Andi anything. She hadn’t said she’d actually wear the slip tonight. But when she finally got back to her rooms, stripped off her wet clothes and hung them to dry in the bathtub, her knitting bag’s pull was too strong for her to resist.

  She’d just try it on, simply to find out what it felt like against her skin this once, and then she’d put it away.

  In any case, she knew she needed to calm down before going to Sean tonight. Seeing his mother had yanked up all of her anger, all of her fury at what he’d been through over the years because of what he’d seen.

  Because of what his mother had made him promise.

  For all that Sean tried to act like he wasn’t tapped into emotions, he was. If he pulled her into his arms and looked at her with those dark, heated eyes while she was so out of control, she was afraid of what he’d see. He’d see a love she couldn’t control. And he’d see how much she wanted to strike out at his mother on his behalf.

  She didn’t want to scare him away because she cared too much. He already knew she loved him, but since he didn’t love her back, she knew better than to smother him with that love.

  With trembling fingers, she picked up the cashmere slip and put her arms and head through the top of it.

  The knitted fabric was so soft it took her breath away. As did a thought: Sean would love to see her in this.

  And she would love to wear it for him.

  Like magic, there was a knock at the door.

  She’d never loved anyone this much, enough that it made everything hurt, from the inside out. She wanted so badly to heal him, to give him everything he hadn’t allowed himself to have for far too long.

  But just as she’d known better than to fall for him in the first place, just as she’d known better than to kiss him, just as she’d known better than to take him to her bed, just as she’d known better than to confess her love to him out on his beach this afternoon… she knew better now than to go to the door wearing this slip, where her feelings for Sean were in every soft stitch she’d made.

  But where Sean was concerned, her mind clearly had no power over her body.

  Or her heart.

  That heart was pounding hard and fast as she walked from the bedroom, through her living room, to her front door. She’d opened it for Sean so many times in the past week.

  But this time everything was different.

  Standing before her, his eyes held on hers for a long moment, like he was drinking her in after a long, long absence—even though it had been only a couple of hours.

  Finally, he looked away from her face and realized what she was wearing.

  “My god, Rebecca.”

  He didn’t move from the hallway, didn’t come toward her, but the look on his face told her everything she needed to know.

  Before she knew it, she was in his arms and he was kicking her door shut.

  He carried her into the bedroom and then laid her on the bed as if she were the most delicate porcelain. Rebecca had never been looked at this way, as if she were the only person
on earth who mattered.

  All her life she’d been happy to blend into the background, the quiet girl who wasn’t the least bit interested in taking center stage. She waited for embarrassment to flood her at the intense way he was looking at her, but there was such warmth—such emotion—in Sean’s gaze that all she could do was bask beneath it.

  “Kiss me, Sean,” she said, and then he was gently, slowly moving to her, over her, his mouth warm and alive and sweet.

  His kisses were always spectacular, but this one was different. Almost like the kiss was merely a beginning to something more.

  Finally, he pulled away and the next thing she knew he was sitting up and she was on his lap.

  He brushed another kiss against her forehead, down to her cheekbones, before stopping at her earlobe. “I can’t believe you’re real, that you’re here with me.” He continued in a low voice, “I can’t believe you love me.”

  She wanted to say she’d be there for him forever, but she forced herself to swallow back the one word sure to push him away.

  Still, as thrill bumps chased up and down her skin at the feel of his mouth on her earlobe, his teeth lightly scoring the sensitive skin, she couldn’t stop herself from admitting, “I never had any other choice.”

  A moment later, he’d threaded his hands into her hair, holding her still. She expected a kiss. She even knew to expect the heat in his eyes.

  But she was thrown completely by the emotion there.

  He’d never looked at her like this. Not even a few seconds ago when he’d been taking in the way the knitted slip draped over the curves and valleys of her otherwise naked body.

  “Sean? What is it?”

  But he just kept staring.

  “You can say anything to me. Anything at all.”

  His eyes crinkled at the corners for a split second. “I know I can. But this—”

  He stopped, took a breath, actually closed his eyes as he steeled himself for whatever he was going to say to her.

  Her heart was racing out of control.

  Please. No. Don’t let him say this is the end. That he is getting ready to leave again.

  His eyes opened again, the deepest, richest brown she’d ever seen them as he gazed at her as serious, as passionate—as loving—as she’d ever seen him.

  “I love you.”

  She thought her mouth might have fallen open, knew she was having a hard time finding enough oxygen to pull into her lungs, but before she could get a handle on anything—anything at all—he was kissing her.

  The kiss that followed the three words she hadn’t thought she’d ever hear Sean say turned her brain to mush. He wasn’t the only one who could hardly believe this was happening between them. Her brain was a lost cause… but her heart needed to know for sure.

  She dragged her mouth from his. “Sean?”

  It wasn’t until the corners of his mouth moved up that she knew for sure that she wasn’t dreaming.

  “Do you want me to say it again?”

  She’d asked him to do just that the night he’d called her sweetheart for the first time and she loved how he obviously remembered every word between them.

  “Yes,” she whispered, tracing her fingers over his jaw, along his cheekbones, over his lips.

  He held her hand there, pressed a kiss to her fingertips that had her shivering with desire.

  With love.

  “I’ve never trusted anyone the way I trust you. I’ve never admired anyone the way I admire you.” He moved her hand from his lips to his chest, holding it steady right over his heart, beating steady. Strong. “And I’ve never, ever loved anyone the way I love you.”

  She wanted to remember every single moment of the night, the way his love wrapped around her along with his strong arms, but when pure passion turned to love, it was all she could do to try and keep up with the pleasure, the sweetness.

  It should have been harder to tell Rebecca how much he loved her. But she made it easy. Her eyes shining down at him as he moved his fingers beneath the thin shoulder straps of her slip.

  God, she was gorgeous. Her skin was so soft, so pretty as it flushed beneath his every touch and she gave herself over to him.

  Body and soul.

  For so long, for his entire adult life, he hadn’t believed in love.

  But now, here, tonight, love was all he could feel. For these few, precious hours with Rebecca in his arms, he could forget everything but her. Nothing else needed to matter.

  And in the morning, when life, when reality came rushing back, he’d start to try and figure out how to balance what he knew to be true about the world with this new love that he couldn’t deny.

  He pressed a kiss to the center of Rebecca’s chest, wanted to feel her heart beating beneath his lips. Her hands moved from his shoulders to thread through his hair.

  “Sean?”

  He lifted his head and instantly read her desire. But there was something else there, something that had his heartbeat hitching in his chest.

  “I want you so badly, but—”

  She shifted, and for a split second, he was afraid she was going to move away. Instead, thank god, she pressed herself more tightly against him as if she were trying to take shelter in his arms.

  “I’m scared.”

  He would have expected her to be scared the other times they’d made love, when he’d flat out told her he wasn’t going to make a commitment to her. Why now?

  She answered him before he could ask the question, saying, “When I thought you didn’t love me back, I knew I had to be prepared for… for this to all end. I kept telling myself that I didn’t have expectations. Even though I knew I was falling for you, it was easier somehow to know that it went only one way. I know it sounds strange, but it was safer. For me. For my heart. But now, if something happens—”

  He kissed her before she could finish her sentence.

  “I love you, Rebecca. You love me. Whatever comes, we’ll figure it out. Together.”

  But even though she whispered her love again, even though he lay her back on the bed and stripped the slip all the way off before moving into her waiting arms, even though the peak they reached together was higher, and so much sweeter than it had ever been before, Rebecca’s words if something happens were waiting for him in the back of his subconscious.

  And the bedroom was growing colder.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  During the next week as Rebecca worked to make sure the Tapping of the Maples Festival came together as well as she’d envisioned it would, Sean helped her when she needed it, gave her enough kisses through the day to fry what was left of her brain cells, but otherwise was on the phone working on his own business.

  She didn’t want to pry, or try to listen in on his private calls, but she couldn’t help hoping that he was following through on his idea to acquire more inn’s throughout the Northeast—and that this new business would keep him here, at Emerald Lake. She would never want her love to be something that boxed him in. Still, she couldn’t help but hope that she was important enough to him that he’d factor her into his future plans.

  And that she wasn’t the only one with visions of long white dresses and babies with his eyes.

  Every night, when she thought she was too exhausted to do anything more than sink into a bath with a glass of wine, just being in Sean’s arms was enough to chase away all thoughts of sleep and baths—unless he was in there with her doing deliciously wicked things to her.

  But she knew it wasn’t just how hard she was working; it wasn’t just her lack of sleep at night that had her so off-kilter during the busy week.

  It was the secret he’d trusted her with.

  The secret he expected her to hold forever.

  Sean had never trusted a woman enough to let himself love her. Not until her. She couldn’t stand the thought of betraying his trust. But she couldn’t stand being near Elizabeth, either. Not knowing what she knew.

  Not knowing how badly the woman had hurt her own chil
d.

  Every day that frustration, that anger on Sean’s behalf grew bigger and bigger. Rebecca was very much afraid the day would come when she wouldn’t be able to hold it all inside anymore.

  “Your work crew has arrived!”

  Rebecca turned to see Nate and Andi, Nate’s eleven-year-old sister Madison, and Andi’s mother, Carol, walking in through the inn’s front door. She’d been so busy this week she hadn’t seen Nate since they’d returned from their honeymoon.

  Forcefully pushing her thoughts about Elizabeth aside, she gave him a hug. “Thanks for coming to help, you guys.”

  “This is exciting,” Madison said. “My friends are all dying to tap a maple.”

  Nate grinned. “We’ve been practicing making the perfect pancakes to eat the syrup on all week.”

  Surrounded by her friends, warmth flooded Rebecca. Emerald Lake was beautiful, but that wasn’t the only reason why she’d fallen in love with this town. She’d fallen for the community almost as quickly as she’d fallen for the natural surroundings.

  But she’d fallen even faster for the man who was walking into the room. Her body was attuned to Sean so that she could always feel his presence before she saw him coming down the stairs.

  He was smiling as Carol called out a greeting, and Andi shot Rebecca a surprised glance.

  Rebecca had almost forgotten that he hadn’t smiled when he first came here. It was still one of her greatest pleasures to tug a grin or, even better, a full-blown laugh out of him.

  A few moments later, he was standing behind her and his arms were around her waist, pulling her against him, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

  Rebecca almost laughed at the way Andi’s eyes just about popped out of her head. Nate and Carol simply looked pleased.

  Looking at her friends who were waiting to help her, she realized that all along, while she’d looked at putting on this festival as hers alone, she’d been so wrong. Andi and Nate and Madison and Carol—just a few of the people she’d come to love so much in Emerald Lake in such a short period of time—reminded her that the work she’d done had all been for the community.