Chasing Logan

by Tracy Lorraine

  When I turn around I see Chase leaving the bar, it’s clear to see even from here that his head is hung slightly between his shoulders like he has the weight of the world on them. I glance back at his table and see his still untouched drink and his notebook sat exactly where they were earlier.

  “Fucking hell, them lot are something else,” Bella says as we head towards our room later that evening. The party is still going strong but I’d had about all I could take of the fake bakes so we agreed to give in.

  “I’m not sure I’m gonna cope with spending everyday with them four.”

  “Ah, they’re not that bad. They mean well, they’re just a little…superficial.”

  “A little?” I question as I unlock our door.

  “Well, they could be worse, they’re not horrible.”

  “I guess.”

  “What exactly are you planning to do with that?” Bella asks as I place Chase’s notebook on our dressing table.

  “Give it back to him I guess.” I’m not sure why I picked it up really. It’s obviously not important if he just left it there but something told me to.

  “Oh it might have songs in for his next album. Pass it over,” Bella says as she bounces down on the bed and crosses her legs.

  “No, it could be private.”

  “So private that he left it in a bar full of people?”

  “Maybe, just leave it.” I look at her pouting face. “Bella,” I warn.

  “Okay, fine. Spoil sport,” she says before sticking her tongue out at me.

  It’s been a bit of an insane day, so not only am I a little worse for wear after one too many shots with the plastics but I’m exhausted. The high from the show is definitely starting to wear off.

  I swear Bella is snoring before her head even hits the pillow. I on the other hand can’t switch off. And it’s Chase’s fault. I can’t get the image of him walking away earlier out of my head. He looked so defeated. Surely today should have been one of the best days of his life. He’d just performed to a sell out crowd of screaming fans so why he looked so dejected is bothering me. Fuck knows why, I’ve barely said two words to the guy. He’s made it very clear with his attitude towards everyone that he isn’t here to make any friends.

  I sit up in bed and I can just about make out the notebook that is exactly where I left it. I know I told Bella not to touch it but it’s like it’s talking to me. Begging me to open it and see what’s in there.

  Two

  Bang, Bang, Bang.

  I’m instantly sat bolt upright in bed and my heart is pounding. It takes me a few seconds to figure out where I am and that everything is okay.

  “GET UP NOW!” a female voice demands through the door.

  “Cole, who the fuck is that?” Bella groans from under her duvet.

  “Yeah we’re up,” I say back.

  “Open the door so I know you’re properly up,” she demands.

  “Fucking pain in the arse,” I mutter as I pull the covers off and stumble over to the door. I pull it open and hide behind it slightly because I really don’t want the wicked witch of the west checking out my morning wood. It might shrivel up in fear if she so much as looks at it.

  “Victoria,” I state when I’ve opened the door enough to look at her lovely, friendly face! You’d never know she’d only had a few hours sleep. As always her hair is perfectly straight and her makeup is flawless, enhancing her slightly harsh features.

  “You need to be on stage in thirty minutes. Cars are outside,” she demands then marches off down the corridor.

  I shut the door behind her and rest my forehead against it.

  “Ugh,” I groan.

  My head is spinning.

  God knows what time I eventually got to sleep last night. All I know is that I have not had anywhere near enough sleep for the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.

  “Bella, you need to get up. The witch has spoken.”

  Victoria is Chase’s manager, as I presumed, and she’s a fucking tyrant. Nothing is ever good enough for her. She sticks her nose in everywhere and if something isn’t done to her exacting standards then it must be redone until it is. I’m not sure why they bothered paying for a choreographer because Victoria was basically telling her what to do. She’s a law to herself.

  “Fuck off,” Bella snaps.

  She’s never been a morning person.

  “Come on.” I grab the corner of the duvet cover as I say this and swiftly tug it away from her body.

  “Fuck you, fuck her, fuck this,” she mutters as she plods into the bathroom.

  “You love it really, I know you do.”

  I feel slightly better when we get down to the mini bus that transports us peasants around because the fake bakes look like death. I discover why halfway to the arena, it seems the party went through the night and they haven’t been to bed yet. Chantelle especially looks rough, she’s practically green.

  I’ve danced hung over and still drunk plenty of times over the years, and I know for a fact that it is not fun. These four are going to seriously regret last night, that’s if they don’t already.

  “They could have warned us after the show last night we were going to have a rehearsal. This is ridiculous,” Connor groans as we pull away from the hotel behind Chase’s swanky Range Rover. How the other half live!

  I bet he looks better than we all feel this morning seeing as he left hours before we did without so much as sipping at his drink.

  When we walk into the arena Chase is already on stage and sat behind the piano that must have been left there last night as he used it performing his final song.

  He’s not singing but the tune he’s playing is hauntingly sad. It sends chills down my spine.

  As we get closer I can’t take my eyes off him. He’s dressed in his usual, jeans, t-shirt and shirt combo and his hair is sticking up in all directions showing that maybe he didn’t sleep as well as I thought he might have after his early departure last night. His broad shoulders are hunched over the keys and his head is low but I can see that his eyes are shut tightly as he plays.

  “That’s so sad,” Bella whispers as we walk closer.

  I don’t respond. I can’t, I’m lost to the sound surrounding me.

  Bella walks off to the side with the others, I guess to put her bag down but I don’t look, I just continue walking towards Chase. I want to give him his notebook back but more than that I feel like I’m being pulled to him.

  He must know I’m there because as I walk up to him he stops playing. We’re both silent as the sound fades out around the arena.

  He eventually opens his eyes and looks up at me. My breath catches at the look in them. He looks utterly distraught. The green is dark and tormented, and they are a little wet. It obviously wasn’t just us that thought that song he was playing was sad.

  I have to swallow down the lump that has formed in my throat. Why do I feel sad for him? I don’t even know him, let alone what it is he could be sad about but there is something about him that is pulling at me, making me hurt with him. The only other person I hurt for is Bella. The fact I seem to have the connection with Chase confuses me.

  I desperately want to help, do something, but I’ve never met anyone that is so closed off before. I thought Bella was bad but Chase is something else. I don’t even know where I would begin to attempt to bring down his walls.

  He keeps my eye contact. It’s kind of like he’s trying to tell me something, fuck knows what though.

  “Chase, I-” I begin to say once I’ve pulled myself together but I get interrupted by my favourite person.

  “Someone get rid of that piano,” Victoria snaps and a couple of minions come running on to the stage. “Get in place for ‘Push out’ but I want the dancers surrounding Chase not behind him.”

  Everyone starts moving to do as we’re told but it’s obviously not fast enough because Victoria barks at us to hurry up and starts, patronisingly, clapping her hands in our direction.

  I feel sorry for
our actual choreographer because she doesn’t get a look in with Victoria about. She tries to argue her point but loses every time against the whirlwind that is Victoria.

  Two hours later we are all desperate to call it a day, well until the actual show tonight but the tyrant is still barking away.

  Push out is Chase’s current single and it is one of the more upbeat dance songs, which is great for us but it’s clear Chase hates it because it means Victoria gets her ‘show’.

  Originally the six of us were dancing in pairs behind Chase but she now has us surrounding him and much to his delight he’s dancing with us, well as much as he can.

  “One more time from the top.”

  “Fuck sake, I need to sleep,” Chantelle groans. And I can’t help but agree because she looks fucking terrible. The orange really doesn’t blend well with the green!

  Chase just starts the chorus for the final time when our eyes connect. I’m dancing with Bella just to the side of him but his eye contact stops me in my tracks. It causes Bella to crash into me, which distracts Chase who then falters slightly before he stops singing completely and eventually breaks his connection with me.

  What the fuck was that?

  “What are you doing?” Victoria snaps.

  “I’m done,” Chase states.

  “We’re not done yet.”

  “Don’t care. We’re done,” he says harshly and storms off the stage leaving a shocked looking Victoria staring after him. I can’t imagine people say no to her very often.

  “What was that about?” Bella asks me on the drive back to the hotel.

  “Dunno, he was obviously as fed up with her as we were.”

  “No not that, I meant the eye contact thing you two had going on?”

  I look at her little dumbfounded, I hadn’t realised that it was obvious. I sorta thought it was my imagination that it lasted that long. Just thinking about it brings back the butterflies I felt as we stared at each other.

  “I don’t think it was anything,” I answer truthfully because I really don’t think he meant anything by it.

  “It didn’t look like nothing,” she comments before changing the subject.

  “Oh my God, I needed that,” Bella exclaims as she leans back and clutches at her belly. I can’t help but agree mind you, after being pulled from our bed and forced to rehearse on empty stomachs, the very late fry up the hotel did for us when we got back was very welcome. “I’m going to have a nap so I’m with it for the show tonight. You coming?”

  “Yeah but I want to see if I can find Chase first.” Bella raises an eyebrow at me in question. “I want to give him his notebook back,” I clarify to try to wipe that look off her face. I’m not exactly sure what she’s thinking I’m gonna do, jump him and demand he turns gay just for me. In reality he probably won’t even thank me for it let alone actually give me a chance to turn him!

  “Good luck,” Bella shouts as the lift doors shut on the floor to our room. I’m continuing up to the top floor because obviously the star of the show has the best room.

  I don’t know why I’m so nervous. I spent all morning with the guy but as I walk towards his hotel room door my heart is pounding and my palms are actually sweating. Yeah he’s a big star but after working with the moody fucker for the last couple of months, I don’t see that any more. What I do see is a seriously hot brooding male that I would probably just about do anything to get under, or above. I’m not fussy!

  He’s straight, he’s straight, he’s straight, I chant to myself as I round the corner and see his hotel room door ahead of me. Thankfully his bassist, CJ, was more than happy to tell me what room he’s in when I asked him after rehearsal. I’m not stupid though, I’m well aware my intrusion is likely only going to piss Chase off further.

  I step up in front of the door and take a deep breath. As nervous as I am to enter his private space I think I’m more apprehensive about him slamming the door in my face.

  Once I think I’m prepared I lift my arm and knock on the door. I’m seriously surprised when it pushes open slightly with the force I use. I can hear music blaring from out here so I didn’t think a gentle knock would do it.

  I slowly push the door open. “Hello?” I ask as I peek my head in.

  The first thing I notice is obviously how amazing his room, okay suite, is compared to our twin room downstairs. It pays to be the star of the show by the looks of it.

  I walk into the living room and look around at the huge sofas, flat screen TV on the wall and huge cabinet filled with all sorts of drinks.

  “Chase?”

  When I don’t get a response I decide to just put the notebook on the coffee table and leave, he’s obviously not here. That is until I hear what I can only describe as a roar. I turn on the spot and look at the door where it sounded like it came from. I walk over and look through the gap.

  Chase is stood in just a pair of shorts that are hanging low down on his waist showing off the waistband of his boxers. The sight of his sweaty muscular naked back does weird things to my insides. Why it’s got to be this moody musician that causes me butterflies, God only knows. After everything I’ve been through I’d have thought I deserved a normal, grounded man to fall for, not a complicated, moody fucker like Chase.

  What really affects me though is how he is stood hugging the punching bag like it’s his lifeline.

  I turn to leave him to it, thinking that he needs the alone time but my movement must catch his eye.

  “Stop,” he demands.

  My feet instantly do what he says. When I turn to look back at him he is wiping his face and forehead with a towel that was on the bed behind him. He’s not quick enough though and I catch a glimpse of his tears before they get soaked into the towel.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude. I just wanted to return something to you,” I say, verbal diarrhoea taking over my thoughts. Chase raises an eyebrow at me in question. It’s not the look I was expecting, I thought he was going to be angry that I invited myself into his hotel room. I’m so shocked that my mouth keeps running. “The only time I have ever punched someone I broke my hand. I’d love to be able to do it properly, you know, just in case I ever need to do it again.”

  My babbling causes something to happen that I never thought I’d see. Chase’s mouth tips up at one side in a very small smile. Just that small movement changes his face so much and makes him look even more gorgeous with his sweat soaked hair and heaving naked chest. I bite my tongue in favour of checking out more of what is stood in front of me.

  His hair is a mess, his eyes are practically glowing, whether that’s from the exertion or the tears I’m unsure. I continue my journey down his strong neck and over his broad shoulders. They only look bigger out of his standard shirt and t-shirt. The dark tattoo that is covering one shoulder and swirling down his bicep makes my heart skip a beat. I move down his chest and my mouth drools as I intently stare at the perfection that are his pecs and abs. Well fuck me gently this guy is seriously cut. I almost groan when I follow his happy trail down to the waistband of his boxers, if the rest wasn’t already doing it for me then that really is. A happy trail is my ultimate weakness. Sadly his thighs are covered by the fabric of his shorts, I can only imagine they are solid though.

  My blatant gawking is brought to an abrupt end when Chase clears his throat, obviously getting pissed off being the object of my fascination. I’m utterly gob smacked when I see that small smile still on his lips when I look back up to his face. If anything I’d be tempted to say it’s a little bigger than before.

  We stand and stare at each other, him looking amused and me starting to panic that not only have I barged in on him but also I’m now checking him out in his half naked state.

  “How did you manage to get one of those in your hotel room?” I blurt out trying to fill the tense silence that has fallen over us.

  “It’s on my rider,” he replies but I’ve completely forgotten that I asked anything.

  “Huh?”


  “The bag, it’s on my rider.”

  “Oh, yeah, right. Don’t people usually demand all sort of weird sweets and stuff?”

  “Yeah that too,” he says as he tips his head towards the dressing table next to me. I glance over and see a couple of boxes of nerds sat on the top.

  “Nerds! I haven’t seen them in years.”

  “Me either but I didn’t want to ask for something easy like Skittles. I thought Victoria needed a challenge.”

  I just stare at him completely dumb founded.

  “I’m not always miserable, I can crack a joke you know.”

  “I…uh…didn’t think that,” I say, but it’s obvious that I’m lying.

  “Yeah okay,” he says sarcastically.

  So he knows how he comes across to us all then. I can only presume he has a reason.

  He opens his mouth like he has more to say but his phone lights up on his bed and starts ringing.

  “I’m sorry but I need to get this,” he says looking a little regretful.

  “No problem, I’ll see you later then,” I say as I turn to walk away.

  “Hey, dancer,” Chase shouts making me turn back to look at him. “Take some. I have loads,” he says pointing to the boxes of nerds.

  “Thank you.” I start walking away with the box in my hands. His still ringing phone catches my attention and I turn back to look at him. Chase is stood with his phone in his hand but he’s completely ignoring it and staring at my retreating back. After a second or two he must realise what he’s doing, he brings his phone to his ear and turns away leaving me to wonder what the hell that was all about.

  Has everyone got Chase very wrong?

  When I get back down to our room Bella is sat on her bed talking into her phone so I put the box of Nerds on the dressing table and grab some clean boxers before heading into the bathroom to clean up ready for tonight’s show.

  Three

  The next three days and two venues go by with out any real change. Each show is better than the last. Chase absolutely smashes it every single time. His talent has no bounds it seems. When the crowd are in front of him it turns out he can move pretty well. I had to really concentrate on what I was meant to be doing and not just stand and stare at his arse wiggling in time to the music. And like always his voice is on point. Whether it’s a fast upbeat or slow and emotional song it is always perfect. His talent playing either the guitar or piano is pretty insane as well. Oh to be good at everything!