Imagine the shittiest you’ve ever felt in your life and multiply that by ten. That’s how pathetic Bailey and I felt sitting at the kitchen table after the well-deserved beat-down served by our mother.
“God, we’re such assholes,” Bailey said.
“Yup.” She hit the nail on the head.
“I’m going after her.” Bailey rose from her chair and left the room.
I continued to sit and drown in the guilt. I had even lost my desire to punish Bailey, it was that bad.
Ten minutes later, Bailey poked her head in to tell me she was taking off and that she had apologized and tried to smooth things over with our mom.
Looked like it was my turn. I found her folding my dad’s t-shirts in the laundry room.
“Mom, I really owe you and dad an apology. Making fun of your efforts was cruel,” I began. “I think…I think we were joking around and being assholes because we didn’t want to acknowledge that maybe the strongest man we knew wasn’t the superhero we’d always made him out to be. And even harder to imagine is him admitting that fact too. Sure he’s human but just because his heart wants to slow down doesn’t mean he’s not the same bad-ass ball buster and problem solver. But you’re right – he needs to tone it down. And we need to be more cooperative in helping you accomplish what’s best for you both.”
She looked up at me and said, “I accept your apology, but next time, please try not to use so many curse words.” She gave me a side hug and I kissed the top of her head, relieved to be forgiven. “This is hard on all of us – so many changes to consider,” my mom said.
“Yeah, the changes are definitely throwing me. You know I’m all in with the company, right?”
“Of course. And you know we appreciate it so much, Nate.”
In for a penny, in for a pound. “It’s just that, ideally speaking, I would really love it if Dad comes back to take over the administration side of things and I can take over the other side. But I understand if it can’t happen. I just want you to know I’m there for you either way, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss using my hands on a daily basis.”
She set the t-shirt she was holding on the pile. “Nathan, you and your father are different men. That’s no secret to any of us. He’s spent his career working out how to fit the figurative square peg in the round hole while you’ve spent yours literally fitting the peg to the hole. You don’t have to become your father in some effort to rescue everyone. That can only end with you being unhappy and probably resenting us. And that is the last thing I want for any of us.” She put her hand to my cheek. “We’ll work it out. And I’ll bet if you open your eyes and start looking around you’ll see that there are a lot of people who work with you and your father who’d be willing to step up a bit.”
Well shit, why hadn’t I thought of that? Why had I automatically assumed the bulk of the responsibility?
“So” she smiled at me and picked the shirt back up. “What time can I expect you all on Sunday?”
Aaaand checkmate goes to my mother.
***
I’d decided on Granny’s since I secretly loved jimmies – or “sprinkles” to the uneducated. The front door opened before I even had the chance to climb the first step, and Rocco burst onto the porch. “Is there chocolate?”
Ah, a man after my own heart. “Of course,” I told him as if only a complete idiot would arrive without a chocolate doughnut. He snatched the box and ran inside.
“Rocco! Manners!” Laney appeared in the doorway.
“Oh yeah, thanks Nate!” came the quickly receding voice muffled by what I assumed was a chocolate doughnut.
I paid zero attention to Rocco at that point, however. Laney stood before me in what I can only describe as the outfit that would have caused teenage Nate to sequester himself in his room for two straight weeks. The white tank top was thin, the pink lace bra playing peek-a-boo in several places, and her currently tightened nipples were straining the fabric. The tank was snug at her waist as well, and her hips flared out in a denim skirt which stopped mid-thigh. How I was going to get through this morning without putting my mouth on several parts of her body I had no idea. Did she wear this fuck-hot outfit for me? She must have, right? I was going with yes and pushing my luck as soon as the opportunity presented itself. With Rocco around, though, it was going to be a long morning working around the giant boner in my pants. How did this woman make me revert to a seventeen year old with one look and a tank top?
I stepped through the doorway and made sure to briefly place my hand on her waist and kiss her cheek. She smelled like coconut and a hint of flowers. Her sharp inhale did not go un-noticed. This was happening.
I spent the morning mildly flirting with Laney and placing casual touches on her arms and back as often as possible. Rocco decided to resume his position as my helper but lost interest a bit more quickly this time. When Gavin returned home from the gym and offered to take Rocco for pizza the kid dashed out the door without a backward glance. Perfect. Alone time with Laney.
However, my normally confident air around women was a bit more elusive today, and I realized the reason with a mix of dread and uncertainty. My insensitivity with my mother yesterday had me consumed with guilt and I knew I was going to have to bite the bullet and embarrass the shit out of myself with Laney. I was going to ask a girl to meet my parents when she hadn’t even agreed to go out on a date with me. Was there any way I could come across as more douchey or creepy than that?
Before I could stress any more about it, though, Laney walked into the bedroom with a basket of laundry and dumped it on her bed. “Can you tell me what the point is of folding laundry?” she asked.
“Um, I guess so you can find it later?” I didn’t know how to answer. My wardrobe consisted solely of jeans, cargo pants, and crappy t-shirts, none of which required much care.
“I guess so.” She sighed and sounded so disappointed I didn’t understand how laundry could be such a downer.
“Is laundry really that depressing?” I asked as I finished gluing a floorboard in place.
She seemed to shake herself out of whatever mood had overtaken her and emitted a small laugh. “No, I guess I got stuck in my head for a minute there.” She shook her head again and smiled at me. “So, what’s it like working as my indentured servant on your days off?” she asked.
“Well, I’ll tell you, working inside like this has its advantages. It’s air conditioned for one, and I don’t have to hear passersby saying stupid things like, ‘Hey, when you’re finished there, why don’t you come over to my house and fix a few things?!’” I mimicked an idiotic hillbilly tone complete with a fake-ass chuckle.
Her face fell. “I say that all the time…It’s friendly.”
She looked so disheartened I was without words for several moments. “Hmm, well, this is awkward.” That’s all I had.
We looked at each other silently for several beats. Then, finally, thank God, she broke out into the fucking cutest fit of giggles I’ve ever heard in my life. It was impossible not to respond with my own laughter and pretty soon we were both doubled over. The situation may not have warranted the extent of our hilarity but it felt so damn good to share this with her that in that moment I felt ten feet tall.
***
Since there’s never an ideal time to humiliate yourself, I chose the moment right before I was leaving Laney’s house. I gathered my things and walked into the kitchen where she was at the counter mixing something in a bowl. “Whatcha making?”
Her head turned to me and she had a bit of what looked like flour on her cheek. “Chocolate chip cookies. I figured if the doughnuts didn’t put us into a diabetic coma this would finish the job.” She smiled and turned back to her task.
I approached from behind and stuck my finger in the bowl. I got the dough to my mouth before she could smack my hand. “Psoo gwood.”
“Hey! Taste-testing is only for the baker!”
I swallowed the pilfered bite. “It’s just payment for today�
��s work!” I then pressed myself into her back, forcing her closer to the counter. I could hear her breath catch. I leaned down close to her ear and whispered, “You have flour on your face,” just to watch her raise her hand to her cheek in that way I found so endearing. I wasn’t disappointed.
“Why didn’t you say something sooner.” She was flustered and started to squirm a bit which did nothing for the situation in my pants, considering my body was anchoring hers to the counter. I had no doubt she could feel it so I went in for a soft kiss under her ear. She melted into me a bit and I managed to turn her around so I could gain access to her mouth.
Our kisses were wet, hot, and fervent. Neither of us could get enough and when my hand found its way to her breast she arched her back and pressed further into me. I rubbed her tight nipple with my thumb and she let out a small moan. My other hand caressed down her back and gripped her ass pulling her in even tighter to my groin. It felt infinitely better than I’d imagined, and I’d spent a lot of time imagining it.
I was dying to get her out of this skirt and replace my hand with my mouth. Her arms wrapped around me and one of her hands descended to my ass as the other gripped my t-shirt. I was starting to lose control and was ready to prop her up on the counter and splay her out. I knew I had to slow down or I’d scare her away for sure. I pulled back reluctantly with one last squeeze of her ass and we were both breathing deeply. She raised her hand again, but this time it was to touch her lips which were swollen from our kisses.
“You still think it’s a bad idea to go out with me?” I asked.
She smiled and her cheeks remained pink as we both continued to steady our breaths
“I’ll tell you what,” I said, my hand caressing up and down her side. “You don’t even have to be alone with me for our first date. As strange as it sounds, I’d like to ask you and Rocco to come over for dinner at my parents’ house tomorrow.” I held my breath and hoped for the best.
A perplexed look crossed her face. “I’m sorry, did you just ask me to meet your parents tomorrow?”
“It’s not what it sounds like. My mom’s a terrible cook but she wants to have people over to hang out with my dad and I have trouble saying ‘no’ to her. Don’t overthink it – just say ‘yes.’”
“Um, okay then, I guess we can come.” Then she quickly added, “Can I bring Gavin?” It seemed she wanted to make sure this wasn’t a date. As long as she was coming though, I didn’t care who she brought with her.
“Sure. The more the merrier. That way we’ll have more people to hang out with at the hospital when we all get food poisoning.”
Her face fell.
“Kidding. But, seriously, you may want to eat before you come.”
I offered to pick her up but she assured me that they could get there on their own, so once I gave her the address it was time for me to leave. We walked to the door together and I couldn’t help but pull her to me for one more short kiss. She tasted like cookies.
“I’ll call you later,” I said and walked to my truck, afraid if I didn’t leave now I never would.
Once I got to my car I called Bailey and told her that the Monroe troop was coming tomorrow and she’d better get her ass on the phone and invite someone too in order to keep things as casual as possible. I could tell right away that she was going to try to bail, so like any good brother would, I employed blackmail to get my point across.
“Oh, did I forget to tell you that I gave Vance your number?” Vance was the creepy electrician we contracted with on occasion and he had a serious thing for Bailey. “I said you would be waiting for his call and were really looking forward to getting to know him better. I think he mentioned dinner at his place – I can’t recall all the details, but I’m sure it won’t involve any lotion on the skin or anything.”
“I hope you choke on your own dick. You didn’t actually do that, did you?”
“Not yet, but I do have his number on speed dial.”
“Fuck you. What time do we have to be there?”
Chapter Twelve
We’ve All Got Our Own Brand of Crazy
Laney
“I got an email today that I know was from you but the sender was ‘Mommy Butt-lover’? What the fuck?” That was Fiona’s greeting when I called her to fret about Nate that afternoon. She was trying not to laugh and doing a piss-poor job at it.
“Christ on a cracker – I know. I'm going to kill Gavin. No one will recognize his body. He had Rocco tell Siri to call me ‘Mommy Butt-lover’ from now on instead of ‘Laney’ and it changed my outgoing email identifier! I replied to just about everyone in my address book today about a birth announcement. Everyone is going to see that ‘Mommy Butt-lover’ thinks the baby looks just like his daddy. God, how embarrassing!”
“Not to mention confusing.” She was cackling by this point and I couldn’t help but smile a tiny bit.
“I hate my life,” I managed.
“No you don’t. Your life is great – awesome kid, cute house, sadistic brother…what more could you ask for? Except maybe…hot construction guy?” I could see I wouldn’t have to introduce the real reason for the call. She knew me too well.
“I’m starting to think hot construction guy is going to be a part of my life whether I want him to be or not.”
“I knew it, I knew it,” she sing-songed loudly in my ear.
“We totally made out again in my kitchen and he asked me to have dinner with his parents tomorrow.” I blurted out.
Silence.
“It’s weird, isn’t it?” I stated more than asked.
“Well, the making out part isn’t weird at all – in fact that part is dreamy – and please tell me you got to touch his butt and it was as perfect as it looks.”
“Yes, and hell yes”
“I knew it!” The song was back.
“Okay, shut up. The make out session was so hot I can’t even begin to describe it accurately. My breasts physically swelled – I didn’t even know that could happen. But the dinner thing is stressing me out!”
“Alright, calm down. How exactly did he ask you? Was he like, ‘Hey Laney, since we made out a couple times and we’re clearly getting married why don’t you come meet Mom and Dad tomorrow and then we can make beautiful babies together?’ or was it more like, “Hey, I’m going over to my parents’ to grab a bite. Wanna come?’”
“I guess it was more like the second one. He invited Rocco and Gavin too.”
“Then what are you stressing about. I think it’s sweet.”
“You do? You’re sure?”
“Yeah. You worry too much. Go and have fun and then report back to me. Now get back to Nate’s ass – I need more details!”
“Why is it we never talk about your love life?”
***
After the whole Siri debacle, it wasn’t too hard to guilt Gavin into coming to dinner at the Murphy’s. It did involve free food, after all, but I neglected to warn him about Mrs. Murphy’s supposedly horrific cooking. Can you blame me? I fed Rocco a sandwich before we left so he would be all set – Gavin could fend for himself.
I was a little distracted on the drive over. Charlotte and I had met up this morning at a nearby park and I’d been hoping Rocco would play with Aiden but he mostly just asked me to swing him on the swings while Aiden ran around shooting imaginary villains and mounting attacks from the top of the monkey bars. Charlotte and I had a nice time talking and I was liking her more and more – now if I could only get our kids to be friends.
Feeling a bit down from the park I’d called my mom to catch up and see if she could offer me some reassurance. She was aware of Rocco’s little idiosyncrasies, having lived with him since his birth. I filled her in about the nose thing and his recent behavior.
“I feel like it’s getting worse since we moved to the new house.” I didn’t want to say “since you moved away” because it was definitely not her cross to bear – she’d gone above and beyond as a grandparent. “And now his teachers are concerned.”
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“Sweetie, all moms worry about their kids. Rocco’s not even going into actual school until next year – a lot can change in a year. And might I remind you of another person in our family who has a little habit of her own – someone who rubs her face when she’s stressed?”
Oh yeah, why didn’t I think of that? Well, poop, it looks like I passed down more of my own issues to the poor kid than I realized.
“And, besides, kids are just small adults – have you ever met an adult who was normal? Of course not. We all have our own brand of crazy. Just love him and that’s all you can do,” she said.
“I just can’t help but feel like I’ve done this to him. I deprived him of a father by being irresponsible and I moved him away from people he loves. And now it looks like I gave him a tic for God’s sake!” It felt both good and awful to say it out loud.
“Laney, all parents second guess themselves and feel ‘less than’ at times. And we all make mistakes. I've never told anyone this, but I dropped your brother on his head when he was about two months old – smack on top of his soft little head!”
“I know.”
“How do you know that? Even your dad doesn't know that.”
“Well, it's a more believable explanation than the possibility that you experimented with drugs while pregnant with the idiot.”
See? I knew my mom could make me feel a bit better.
Now we were on our way to the Murphy’s and I tried to put my worries about Rocco out of my head and instead focus on (i.e. worry about) the evening ahead. At this rate, I’d have an ulcer by next week. Good times.
“I’m still confused about how I got talked into this,” Gavin said from the driver’s seat of his beat up Jeep. I never argued when Gavin wanted to drive because he was the world’s absolute worst backseat driver. I was honestly more likely to run into a tree with Gavin in my car than I would be had I been a blind person.
“Will they have cookies?” Rocco asked from the back seat where he was taking apart a Transformer.
“I don’t know, sweetie. Mr. Murphy is on a special diet and I don’t think he’s allowed to have cookies.”
The Fix (Carolina Connections #1) Page 10
