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The Other Mrs (ARC)

Page 13

by Mary Kubica


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  he’d be and when. She put herself there, made him think it was

  kismet that made them keep running into each other instead of

  what it really was. A trap.

  I’m not insecure. I don’t have an inferiority complex. She

  was no prettier than me, no better. This was plain and simple

  jealousy.

  Everyone gets jealous. Babies get jealous, dogs do too. Dogs

  are territorial, the way they stand guard on their toys, their beds, their owners. They don’t let anyone touch what’s theirs. They get

  angry and aggressive when you do. They snarl, they bite. They

  maul people in their sleep. Anything to protect their belongings.

  I didn’t have a choice about what happened next. I had to

  protect what was mine.

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  Sadie

  Later that night, I awaken from a dream. I come slowly to, and

  find Will sitting in the slipcovered chair in the corner of the

  room, hiding among the shadows. I just barely make out the

  outline of him, the blackened curve of his silhouette and the

  faint glow off the whites of his eyes as he sits there, watching

  me. I lie in bed awhile, too drowsy and disoriented to ask him

  what he’s doing, to suggest that he come back to bed with me.

  I stretch in bed. I roll over, onto my other side, dragging the

  blanket with me, turning my back toward Will in the chair.

  He’ll come to bed when he’s ready.

  I fold myself into the fetal position. I pull my knees into me,

  press them into my abdomen. I brush against something in the

  bed. Will’s dense memory foam pillow, I assume, but soon feel

  the swell of a vertebrae, the convexity of a shoulder blade in-

  stead. Beside me, Will is shirtless, his skin clammy and warm

  to the touch. His hair falls sideways, down his neck, pooling

  on the mattress.

  Will is in bed with me. Will is not in the chair in the cor-

  ner of the room.

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  Someone else is here.

  Someone else is watching us sleep.

  I bolt upright in bed. My eyes fight to adjust to the black-

  ness of the room. My heart is in my throat. I can hardly speak.

  “Who’s there?” I ask, but there’s a bulge in my throat and all

  that comes out is a gasp.

  I reach a hand to the bedside table, make an effort to turn

  the knob on the lamp. But before I can, her voice comes to me,

  quietly and measured, the words chosen carefully.

  “I wouldn’t do that if I was you.”

  Imogen rises from the chair. She comes to me, sets herself

  gingerly on the edge of my bed.

  “What are you doing here? Do you need something?” I ask,

  trying not to let on to my own state of alarm. But it can’t so

  easily be disguised. My panic is transparent. There should be

  relief in seeing that it’s Imogen—not an intruder, but one of our

  own—but there’s no relief in it. Imogen doesn’t belong in my

  bedroom this late at night, lingering in the darkness.

  I search Imogen with my eyes, looking for a reason as to why

  she’s here. Looking for a weapon, though the thought alone

  makes me sick, the idea of Imogen sneaking into our room with

  the intent of hurting us.

  “Is something wrong?” I ask. “Something you want to talk

  about?”

  Always a heavy sleeper, Will doesn’t budge.

  “You had no right,” she scolds, quietly seething, “to come

  into my room.”

  There’s a sudden tightness in my chest.

  My gut instinct is to lie.

  “I wasn’t in your room, Imogen,” I whisper back, and it’s in

  my best interest now to keep quiet because I don’t want Will to

  know that I was there. That instead of bathing, I went through

  the drawers in Imogen’s bedroom, the pockets of her clothing.

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  MARY KUBICA

  An invasion of privacy, Will would say, not taking kindly to my

  searching through her things.

  “You’re a liar,” Imogen speaks through her teeth now, as I

  swear, “I’m not. Honestly Imogen. I wasn’t in your room.”

  Her next words come as a punch to the gut. “Then what was

  your wine doing there?” she asks. My face flames and I know

  that I’ve been caught. I picture it, clear as day, setting the glass of cabernet on the desktop as I canvassed her room.

  And then later, fleeing in a hurry, leaving the wine behind.

  How could I have been so stupid?

  “Oh,” I say, straining for a lie. But a lie doesn’t come. Not

  a credible enough one to share anyway and so I don’t try. I’ve

  never been a very good liar.

  “If you ever,” she begins. But it’s also where she ends, words

  cutting off abruptly, leaving it for me to figure out what comes

  next.

  Imogen rises from the edge of the bed. Her sudden height

  gives her an advantage. She towers over me, stealing the breath

  from my lungs. Imogen isn’t a big girl. She’s thin, but she has

  great height which must have come from her father’s side since

  Alice was petite. She’s taller than I ever realized now that she’s

  standing so closely beside me. She leans down and breaths into

  my ear, “Stay the fuck out of my room,” giving me a slight

  shove for good measure.

  And then she goes. She steals away from the bedroom, her

  feet noiseless on the wooden floors as they must have been when

  she let herself into our room.

  I lie in bed, sleepless and alert, listening vigilantly for her to

  return.

  How long it goes on this way, I don’t know, until eventually

  I give into my drowsiness and slip back to my dream.

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  Sadie

  I go during my lunch break. I try to be subtle about it, slipping

  out the door when I think no one is watching. But Joyce spots

  me anyway and asks, “Taking off on us again?” with an edge

  to her voice that suggests she doesn’t approve of me leaving.

  “I’m just grabbing a quick lunch,” I tell her, though I’m not

  sure why I lie when the truth might have been better.

  Joyce asks, “When can we expect you back?” and I tell her,

  “In an hour.”

  She grunts at that and says, “I’ll see it when I believe it,” which is by no means a fair assessment of me—that I let my lunch breaks

  drag on longer than the allotted hour. But there’s no point in ar-

  guing. I go anyway, still anxious about finding Imogen in our

  bedroom last night. She must have known as soon as she found

  my wineglass that I’d been in her room. She could have come

  right then and told me. But she didn’t. Instead she waited hours,

  until I was dead asleep, to tell me. She wanted to scare me. That

  was her intent.

  Imogen isn’t some ingenious child. She’s quite cunning.
>
  I find my car in the parking lot and drive. I tried to talk my-

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  self out of going to the memorial service. At first I thought that

  there was really no reason to go, other than my desire to see

  Jeffrey Baines. We’ve lived in our home for a little while now,

  and in that time, I’ve never gotten a good look at the man. But

  I can’t shake the idea that he killed his wife. For my safety and

  the safety of my family, I need to know who he is. I need to

  know who my neighbors are. I need to know if we’re safe with

  this man living just across the street from us.

  The Methodist church is white with a tall steeple, a sharply

  honed spire. Four modest stained glass windows line each side

  of the building. The church is small, your archetypical, provin-

  cial church. Matching evergreen wreaths hang from nails on the

  double doors, adorned with red bows. The scene is charming.

  The small lot is jammed with cars. I park on the street, follow

  others inside the building.

  The memorial service is being held in the fellowship hall.

  Ten or fifteen round tables fill the space, covered in white lin-

  ens. There’s a banquet table at the front of the room and, on it,

  trays of cookies.

  I walk with purpose; I have as much right to be here as any-

  one else, no matter what Will said. A woman I’ve never seen

  before reaches out to shake my hand as I step into the room. She

  thanks me for coming. There’s a handkerchief crumpled in her

  hand. She’s been crying. She tells me she is Morgan’s mother.

  She asks who I am. “Sadie,” I say, “a neighbor,” followed with

  deference by, “I’m so sorry for your loss.”

  The woman is older than me by twenty or thirty years. Her

  hair is gray, her skin a roadmap of wrinkles. She’s trim, dressed

  in a black dress that goes just past her knees. Her hand is cold

  and, as she shakes mine, I feel the handkerchief press between

  our hands. “It was sweet of you,” she says, “to come. It makes

  me happy, knowing my Morgan had friends.”

  I blanch at that because of course we weren’t friends. But that’s

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  something her grieving mother needn’t know. “She was a lovely

  woman,” I say for lack of anything better to say.

  Jeffrey stands five feet back, speaking with an older couple.

  Truth be told, he looks bored. He displays none of the same grief

  that Morgan’s mother openly displays. He doesn’t cry. It’s a mas-

  culine thing, not crying. That I understand. And grief can mani-

  fest itself in many ways, aside from crying. Anger, disbelief. But

  I see none of this in Jeffrey as he pats the old man on the back,

  unleashes a laugh.

  I’ve never been this close to him before. I’ve never gotten a

  good look at him until now. Jeffrey is a polished man, tall and

  refined, with a suave thatch of dark hair that combs up and back-

  wards. His features are dark, his eyes hidden behind a pair of

  bold, thick-rimmed glasses. His suit is black. It’s been tailored

  for him. He’s quite handsome.

  The older couple moves on. I tell Morgan’s mother once more

  how sorry I am and step past her. I move to Jeffrey. He takes

  my hand into his. His handshake is firm, his hand tepid. “Jef-

  frey Baines,” he says, holding my stare, and I tell him who I

  am, how my husband and I live with our family just across the

  street from him.

  “Of course,” Jeffrey says, though I doubt he’s ever paid atten-

  tion to the goings-on across the street. He strikes me as one of

  those savvy businessmen who knows how to work a room, adept

  at the fine art of schmoozing. On the surface, he’s charming.

  But under, there’s more that I can’t see.

  He tells me, “Morgan was thrilled to have new blood on the

  street. She would have appreciated your being here, Sandy,” he

  says and I correct him and say, “Sadie.”

  “Yes, that’s right. Sadie,” he says, trying it on for size. He’s

  self-deprecating as a means of apology. “I was never any good

  with names,” he says as he lets go of my hand and I draw it back,

  folding my hands together before me.

  “Most people aren’t,” I tell him. “This must be a very hard

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  time for you,” I say, rather than the standard I’m so sorry for your loss. That feels commonplace, a sentiment that’s being echoed over and over again around the room. “Your daughter. She

  must be devastated,” I say, my body language trying its best to

  be sympathetic. I drop my head, furrow my eyebrows. “I can’t

  imagine what she must be going through.”

  But Jeffrey’s response is unexpected. “I’m afraid she and Mor-

  gan were never close,” is what he says. “The upshot of divorce, I

  suppose,” he tells me, making light of it, deemphasizing the fact

  that his daughter and wife didn’t get along. “No woman would

  ever outshine her mother,” he says, and I reply, “Oh,” because

  I can think of nothing else to say.

  If Will and I were ever to divorce and he to remarry, I’d hope

  the boys would love me more than their stepmother. And yet,

  Morgan was murdered. She’s dead. The little girl found her. The

  nonchalance surprises me. “Is she here?” I ask. “Your daughter.”

  He tells me no. His daughter is in school. It’s odd, the fact that

  she’s at school while her stepmother is being mourned.

  My surprise is visible.

  He explains, “She was sick earlier this year. Pneumonia that

  landed her in the hospital on IV antibiotics. Her mother and I

  would hate for her to miss any more school.”

  I’m not sure his explanation makes it better.

  “It’s so hard to get caught up,” is all I can come up with in

  a pinch.

  Jeffrey thanks me for coming. He says, “Help yourself to

  cookies,” before looking past me to the next in line.

  I go to the cookie table. I help myself to one and find a table

  to sit. It’s awkward sitting alone in a room where nearly no one

  is alone. Everyone has come with someone else. Everyone but

  me. I wish that Will were here. He should have come. Many of

  the people in the room cry, quiet, suppressed cries. Only Mor-

  gan’s mother is unreserved about her grief.

  Two women brush up behind me just then. They ask if the va-

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  cant seats at the table are being saved. “No,” I tell them. “Please, help yourself,” and they do.

  One of the women asks, “Were you a friend of Morgan?” She

  has to lean in toward me because it’s loud in the room.

  A wave of relief washes over me. I’m no longer alone.

  I say, “Neighbors. And you?” as I scoot
my folding chair

  closer. They’ve left empty seats between themselves and me,

  which is socially appropriate. And yet it makes it hard to hear.

  One of the women tells me that they’re old friends of Pat-

  ty’s, Morgan’s mother. They tell me their names—Karen and

  Susan—and I tell them mine.

  “Poor Patty is just a wreck,” Karen says, “as you can imagine.”

  I tell her how unfathomable this all is. We sigh and discuss

  how children are supposed to lose their parents first and not the

  other way around. The way it’s happened with Morgan goes

  against the natural order of things. I think of Otto and Tate,

  if anything bad were to ever happen to either of them. I can’t

  imagine a world in which Will and I don’t die first. I don’t

  want to imagine a world like that, where they’re gone and I’m

  left behind.

  “And not just once, but twice,” Susan says. The other nods

  grimly. I bob my head along with them, but I don’t know what

  they mean by this. I’m only half listening. My attention is fo-

  cused on Jeffrey Baines and the way he greets mourners as they

  come by. There’s a smile on his face as he receives people, reach-

  ing that warm hand out to shake theirs. The smile is unbecoming

  for the occasion. His wife was just murdered. He shouldn’t be

  smiling. If nothing else, he should make an effort to appear sad.

  I start to wonder if Jeffrey and Morgan argued, or if it was

  indifference that did them in. Indifference, a sentiment even

  worse than hate. I wonder if she did something to upset him,

  or if he simply wanted her dead, the dissolution of their mar-

  riage without a nasty battle. Or maybe it was about money. A

  life insurance policy to be paid out.

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  “Patty was never the same after that,” Susan is saying.

  My eyes go to her as Karen replies, “I don’t know what she’ll

  do now, how she’ll get through. Losing one child is bad enough,

  but losing two?”

  “It’s unthinkable,” Susan says. She reaches into her handbag

  for a tissue. She’s begun to cry. She reminisces on how distraught

  Patty was the first time this happened, how weeks went by that

  she couldn’t get out of bed. How she lost weight because of it,

  far too much for a woman who doesn’t have any extra weight

  to spare. I look at the woman, Patty, standing at the head of the

 

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