Ways in the Guardian: A Menage Romance Book Collection

by Barbara Downey

  “What’s wrong with her?” The question was the tipping point for Serena, and she felt a violent tremor run down her spine. Tears fell hard, and she grabbed a nearby ceramic container and threw it. Instantly the object crashed against the wall, sending shards everywhere that she had no hope of ever finding. It was a brief, violent respite that perfectly emulated her life. She let out a sob, and the uniformed men didn’t interrupt her episode.

  Chest heaving, Serena gulped down air as her desperation and pain threatened to overwhelm her.

  “I-… If you’re going to call the police just do it.” Shaking, her words came out, and Serena took a huge breath in an effort to calm down. Finally, she looked at them, eyes red and puffy while her vision blurred ever so slightly. Still she could see how imposing these two men were, arms crossed over their chests and frowns on their faces. They looked nothing alike, so they couldn’t be related. The man on the right had dark brown eyes and a matching buzz cut, while the one on the right was a dirty blond with hazel eyes.

  “Why don’t you just calm down a little and we can talk. We’re not going to call the police on you.” Serena could hear the ‘yet’ at the end of the blonde’s sentence, but she nodded anyway. Taking a seat at the old kitchen table that had seen a billion uses, she grabbed a napkin from the center and wiped her eyes and nose.

  “My mom... She has dementia. They refused her insurance and...” Anger once again rose in her as the two men sat down across from her, and Serena couldn’t finish her explanation. The insurance group had told her they wouldn’t take her mother because she didn’t have a job and lived off her father’s death benefits. She’d gone to them after her mother was diagnosed with dementia, but they wouldn’t even give her a partial plan. She knew the truth; they wouldn’t make any money off her. Frankly she wouldn’t have minded being in debt for the rest of her life at the time, but now it was different.

  “She should be in a hospital where she can be taken care of properly,” one of the men said.

  Lifting her gaze from the table top, Serena glared hard at the blond as his statement flew into her ears. Slamming her hand down, she took no warning in the way they both tensed as her face began to ache from holding back her tears.

  “No! She’s fine here! What are they going to do that I can’t? I’ll tell you what- they’ll do anything to keep her alive as along as possible so they can make money off her! Well she’s not a cash cow! And she’s not going to make it another month, so what’s the point, anyway?”

  Even though Serena tried not to, her explosion came out as a yell, words being spit with pure hatred. The system was corrupt, and she knew how these things went. Whichever place her mother was sent would try their best and do whatever they could but it was too late. Then she’d be stuck with a bill she could never pay off and her mother would suffer longer before her eventual death. She’d done her research about dementia and all anyone could do was make her mother comfortable. It didn’t cost thousands of dollars to do that.

  “She has a point, Ben.” Finally speaking up, the dark haired man leaned back in his seat and Serena frowned.

  “That doesn’t mean she can steal other people’s medication, Paul. They need it just as much as she does.” Both men looked at her before Paul stood up, striding over to her purse. She didn’t try to stop him, and she knew what he’d find. There were no names on the medication bottles. It wasn’t hard to find where they stored the extras. Since the pharmacy had closed, everything had been put away neatly.

  “There’s nothing on these bottles. How’d you even get into the pharmacy in the first place?”

  “How’d you follow me and get into my house so quietly?” Snapping back with a question of her own, Serena narrowed her eyes on Ben and his light amber orbs did the same. Slowly his hand raised, tapping the fabric that covered his body before he opened his mouth.

  “We’re Marines. We’re trained for it. Answer the question, please.” Crossing her arms over her chest, she let out a huff but knew she had to answer. There was no more procrastinating.

  “I’m friends with the pharmacist that works there and he ‘lost’ his keys. That’s what I wanted to do before my mom got sick- be a pharmacist.” Serena sunk into her chair a bit, mumbling the last part of her explanation as she stared at the table top. It was hard going to school with everything that had happened, but she couldn’t even get a job at the local McDonalds. Worry plagued her, and she didn’t have the money to hire someone to stay with her mother. Really it was just a vicious cycle revolving around the green paper. Then again she shouldn’t have to hire a caretaker because she had four brothers and sisters that were perfectly capable if they pulled their heads from their asses long enough to answer a phone call.

  Standing up, Serena shook of her guilt trip and ran her hand through her hair before speaking up.

  “Look, if you’re not going to get me arrested can you leave, please? I have to make supper and take a shower and get my mom to sleep.”

  Paul and Ben shared a look as this insanely fierce woman turned her back on them. It was obvious that one of them should call the police, but it was just as obvious neither wanted to. She wasn’t a criminal; she was just desperate. Nodding absently, Ben stood up from his chair and cleared his throat.

  “How about we make a deal?” Slowly Serena turned around in her spot before an open cupboard, her hair standing on end. Why couldn’t these men just leave? Her mind screamed at her and wanted to let all of that out; let them know exactly how much she didn’t want them here.

  Before she could even take a breath Paul spoke up, his voice slightly deeper than his friend’s.

  “Don’t get any funny ideas here, girly. It’s not that kind of deal. Obviously you have a lot on your plate right now, but like Ben said- we’re not calling the police on you. All you have to do is promise not to steal anymore and we’ll help out, even if it’s just a few hours so you can get some sleep.”

  Clenching her hands into fists, Serena trained her glare on Paul even as her mind worked. ‘Sleep’ was the one word that caught her attention; she hadn’t done it in so long. Sure she’d get an hour here or there, but she was running on fumes. Too afraid to actually go to sleep, she usually dozed and that wasn’t enough for her. It’d been this way ever since her brother moved back to New York two months ago. Really it was amazing she was still functioning.

  “What do you want in return? I have no money and there’s no way I’m whoring myself out.” At the snipe Paul couldn’t help but grimace, and he immediately shook his head.

  “Nothing like that. I just said it- don’t steal anymore-”

  “Plus you can cook. We can’t, so that’s kind of important too.” Chiming in, a slick, oily smile made its way onto Ben’s face but he was entirely serious. Neither he nor his best friend could get near a stove top without it somehow bursting into flames. His half-joke seemed to break some of the tension in the air, and before him the woman frowned, one hand moving to cradle her hip.

  “You better be paying for the food then. I don’t have money to feed myself, let alone you two. And what about your families? Don’t you have parents of your own to annoy?”

  “We were wards of the state before we went into the military. That’s how we met, and why we can’t cook for shit.”

  Despite the situation Serena let out a bark of laughter before covering her mouth with her hand. Staring at her, both men smiled before she managed to reign herself in. Squaring her shoulders, she reached up to run her hand through her hair and turned back to the cupboard.

  “If you’re going to eat here you better go buy whatever it is you want me to make. I’m Serena, since you were so kind to ask.”

  Two hours later Serena sat on the coffee table lightly, spoon feeding her mother despite how hard it was. Unable to swallow on her own, Serena had to stroke her mother’s throat with every tiny, minuscule mouthful. She could hear Paul and Ben in the kitchen, forks scraping against plates as they ate a very different meal. It was a twist on a
Thai recipe she’d learned, filled with vegetables and chicken. Making it for them after they came back from the grocery store had been a struggle, but somehow she managed to keep her fingers to herself.

  “Almost done, Mom.” Mumbling more to herself, Serena found this was a better day. Her mother ate almost all of the farina even though it wasn’t a lot to begin with. Carefully wiping the old woman’s mouth, she stood up and took a deep breath before letting it out slowly. The hard part was still to come.

  It wouldn’t be so hard if her siblings weren’t pricks, the little voice in her mind reminded her.

  “Okay, Mom. You’re doing good. Just two more steps.” Slowly Serena and her mother made their way to the first floor bathroom. She felt as weak and drained as the older, dying woman, but only when her mother was asleep could she take a break. Licking her lips, she frowned slightly as they fully entered the bathroom. Not more than a sink and a toilet, it wasn’t the best place for a bath but she couldn’t get her mother up the stairs.

  Seating the frail woman on the toilet, Serena sighed and rubbed her face before carefully pulling open her mother’s hospital gown. There was nothing underneath but an adult diaper that needed to be changed. She worked in silence, carefully running a warm, wet washcloth over aged, paper thin skin. Months ago she’d stopped being squeamish about seeing her mother naked or changing her diaper, but it never ceased to make her incredibly sad.

  Serena strode into the kitchen and grabbed her bag, rifling through it for a sleeping pill and yet another pain killer. Paul and Ben had done the dishes, but she only barely noticed as she turned to head back to the living room. Carpet replaced tile but the depressing atmosphere permeated the entire house.

  “Have a nice night, Mom.” Watching her mother fall asleep in the reclined chair, Serena smiled sadly as her shoulders drooped and her fingers began to tremble. The sun had set fully now, but unlike outside there was no peace for her. Night time was horrible for her, actually, filled with fear and apprehension. It was like she was seven years old all over again. Carefully she stood up, dropping herself onto the couch with a heavy groan. Everything ached, and her muscles felt as if they could melt at any second.

  “Go sleep, Serena. I’ll stand guard,” Ben said to Serena.

  Glancing up through half lidded eyes at Ben, Serena slumped even deeper into the couch. Part of her fought her exhaustion, pointing out that these two men were complete strangers. The rest of her didn’t care as her opportunity to rest refused to be passed by. Inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly, her heart rate continued to go down and her limbs became heavy. It was a weird sensation after so long, one that brought relief and sadness in equal degrees.

  “That isn’t what I meant, but okay...” Mumbling to himself, Ben reached up to rub his neck absently as he watched Serena’s head loll to the side. He’d hoped she’d go to her own bed, but maybe that was overreaching. Carefully he seated himself to her left and leaned back, crossing his legs. There wasn’t even a television in this room to distract him from the woman sleeping in her chair. Serena was pouring herself into these last moments and it hit him hard. He didn’t have a mother to feel such a way about.

  *****

  Rolling over, Serena woke up groggily and felt worse than when she’d fallen asleep. Cracking open her eyes, she rolled onto her other side and her gaze landed immediately on her mother. Blurry, the withered form was still in the same position she’d left her in.

  “Morning.” Serena’s gaze turned to the voice that sounded above her and she reached up to rub her face before catching sight of Paul. They must’ve taken shifts overnight; it was a smart idea.

  “Morning.” Waking up a bit more, she realized slowly that she was sprawled across his lap. Sitting up a bit too quickly, she held her forehead in her palm and frowned at her bare legs. She was still in the clothes she’d worn yesterday, and her skirt had ridden up to her thighs.

  “I... I’m going to go take a shower.”

  “Take your time,” Paul said.

  Standing up shakily, Serena ran her fingers through her hair a few times and stretched her arms above her head. Her body hurt from sleeping on the couch, but at least now she wasn’t as tired as she would be. With one last glance at her mother she shuffled towards the stairs, rubbing her face and neck with her palms a bit harder than before.

  Even a shower didn’t make Serena feel better, and she trudged down the stairs in a cloud of her own misery. The smell of coffee filled the kitchen as her bare feet stepped on tile, and she quickly poured herself a mugful before heading to the living room. In her chair her mother sat, staring into nothing with a vacant look on her face. Ben had taken up residence on the couch, but she wasn’t sure where Paul went and didn’t bother to ask as she seated herself beside the man.

  Taking a sip of her black, sweetened brew, Serena let out her breath in a sigh before opening her mouth.

  “I’ll have you know I’m not particularly fond of this agreement we seem to have when my mom has four other children that should be helping me.” Staring at her cup hard, she didn’t want to appear ungrateful but Ben should at least know the truth. He sat with his legs crossed, arm propped under his head so he had a clear view of her mother without actually having to look at her dying self. It was a smart way to watch without having to do so.

  “They’ll regret it, Serena. Trust me. Besides, it’s not so bad having a stranger’s help. What are you going to do when she finally passes away?” Ben wasn’t stupid; if he was he wouldn’t have made it into the Marines. Bills were piled up in a corner where the counter and the refrigerator met, and many of them were long past due. While he didn’t want to bring up such a subject so bluntly there was no other way. Next to him Serena let out a heavy sigh, taking another sip of her coffee before offering a response.

  “I don’t know. I can’t hold this house without a job, and I can’t rent the rooms while she’s alive. Before, when this all first started, I seriously considered drugging Mom up on sleeping pills but then my brother started hanging around. He wanted to put her in a home but he didn’t want to pay for it, so two months ago he went back to his perfect life as a computer engineer and hasn’t even called since.” Harsh, Serena’s voice came out like sandpaper but it was the truth. It was why she’d gotten those sleeping pills when she robbed the pharmacy, too. There was no better way out than to just go to sleep and never wake up again. She knew it wasn’t her decision to make, and that she’d probably go to jail over it if anyone ever found out. Dementia patients didn’t usually get an autopsy, so at least there was that hope.

  It was a tiny glimmer in the swirling darkness that was this conversation.

  “Two months, eh. And no one is helping you with her at all?” Slowly Serena shook her head at the question, and she could feel Ben frown even though she couldn’t see it. All of this was too much for one person, that was very clear. She was all she had, though. No one offered help, and when she asked, begged, pleaded, they all denied her for one reason or another.

  “You know, Paul and I could rent two of the rooms if you want. We talked a little about it last night and realized this probably isn’t the best idea, just hanging around.”

  “I don’t even know what I want anymore. I mean, as long as you pay for the food you’re both welcome to stay here. The bills won’t get paid regardless. I have an extension on the electric bill until next month and my mom isn’t going to last that long.” Taking another sip of her brew, Serena leaned back against the couch with a frown. Her credit was shot because of all this. Her car had been repossessed and the life she wanted before was crumbling around her. She didn’t even have enough money to get a bus pass.

  “I’m going to make breakfast.” Pushing herself up, Serena went back into the kitchen and set her coffee mug next to the stove. Every day, for all three meals, it was the same thing. Farina. At this point she couldn’t stand the stuff, but it was easy to eat and she could add things to it. Protein powder and vitamin supplements were her go-to source of n
utrients. The hot cereal was just that for her mother, nothing more than mush in a bowl. Unfortunately, it was the only thing she could afford and the only thing her mother could eat. Even smoothies didn’t go down because they were too cold.

  Ten minutes later Serena sat on the coffee table, bowl in hand and spoon tucked between her fingers. A permanent frown was set on her face as she tried to get her mother to eat, but all of her efforts were failing.

  “Mom...please eat... Just a few bites.” It was a bad day, one of the many. Mumbling quietly, she brought the spoon to chapped, thin lips but they refused to open.

  “C’mon...” The longer time went on without even a single twitch of her mother’s face, Serena’s hand trembled more. Dropping the spoon in the bowl, she let out a harsh breath and reached up to fist her fingers in her hair. She’d pull the long strands out if she wasn’t careful. In her mind she screamed and cried and wailed, cursing anything she could think of for being put in this position. None of it reached out of her, though. Taking heaving breaths, she beat it down instead, molding it into a dense, hard ball that could be locked away. Eyes squeezed tightly shut and ears overflowed with the sound of her blood pumping through her veins.

  “Serena. Hey.” Jumping to her feet, Serena whirled around to find both Ben and Paul standing near her, concern etched onto their faces. It only made her incredibly angry instead of soothing her. Why did she have to deal with this by herself, her internal voice demanded. Why did she have to rely on two strangers? What did she ever do to deserve this kind of torture?

  What did her mother ever do to be abandoned by her own children?

  That was the question that set Serena off, and she saw red. Stalking over to the pair, she pulled her fist back and sent it flying for Ben’s face. He saw it coming, she knew. Thankfully he didn’t do much to avoid it other than make sure she didn’t hit anything important. His much larger form jerked, cheek already red from her knuckles even as she pounded his chest. Over and over again she struck him, sobs and grunts replacing screams that echoed in her skull. There was no reason for her aggression, but she didn’t stop and Paul made no move to help his friend.