Blow Softly (Red Light: Silver Girls #1)

by Debra Kayn

  A chair screeched on the hardwood floor. She turned and found Bear stalking toward her. She had barely taken three steps forward, and he embraced her fully. Smothered in his hug, she clung to him, feeling stronger than her breaking point in the shower.

  Bear pulled back, cupped her face, and leaned in. "Are you okay?"

  She nodded, reaching for her phone in her back pocket and came away empty. In her rush, she'd left the cell in her nightstand drawer.

  "Here." Bear dug his phone out of his vest pocket.

  He led her over to a chair beside a small, round table. She sat, typing out her words.

  "I'm fine. More frustrated than scared. I should've figured out a way to smooth over the situation rather than run to Tiff."

  Bear scanned the phone over her shoulder. "Bullshit. I heard what he did to your room when you left. You shouldn't have to deal with fuckers like that."

  "It's okay."

  "No, it's not. You have no way to yell for help or explain yourself to customers. Tiff should never leave you in a position where someone can take advantage of you. Do you have any idea what he could've done to you before anyone opened your door?" Bear rounded the chair and sat in front of her.

  She tapped her foot. Aware of her disability from day one, nobody needed to tell her what could've happened. She'd lived without talking for years and understood the disadvantages she faced.

  "Please, don't be angry and don't treat me like I'm unable to take care of myself." She showed him the phone.

  Bear's gaze softened, and he pulled her over to his lap. "I'd be pissed if that situation happened to any woman I knew. I should've been here. You shouldn't be doing..."

  She gazed at her lap. She'd been judged her whole life for being the poor kid, the mute, the prostitute. Her shoulders bowed in disappointment. She had hoped Bear would be different than others in her life and see past everything.

  "Listen, sweetheart. I'm trying to come to terms with you spreading your legs and opening your mouth to other men, and when I think about how you're spending your evenings, it makes me angry that I can't stop you. That I can't keep you out of the situations where this shit can happen."

  "It's my job," she typed on the phone.

  "Yeah." Bear stilled. "Walk out the door with me right now. Let me take care of you."

  She looked up into his eyes. His steady gaze never wavered. He was serious.

  "I can't let you do that. It's not who I am." She held up the phone for him to read.

  His arm came around her, pulling her back against him. She laid her head down on his shoulder and played with the ends of his beard. On any given day, men confessed their admiration and wanted to save her from a life of sin. Then, the customer reached orgasm, and she remained the prostitute he'd see again next week or next month. Declarations and statements were only meaningless words.

  Words couldn't pay her bills, keep a roof over her head, or fix the scars binding her to a way of life others couldn't fathom.

  The sound of heels brought her out of dwelling on things she couldn't change, and Tiff approached the table. Madison straightened, making to move off Bear's lap, and fell back against Bear's chest when his arm came around her waist.

  "Stay," he whispered.

  "The dancers will be arriving soon." Tiff sat across the table from them. "I want to apologize to Madison again for what happened. Marci and I are brainstorming to find something that will work in case this problem happens again. Maybe even installing an intercom in the room you can turn on when you have a customer."

  Madison leaned over and squeezed Tiff's hand. The understanding and willingness to work around her disability overwhelmed her. She'd be fine and more alert now.

  Later, she'd write a letter to Tiff and explain the changes she'd make. Instead of standing by the bed, she could wait by the door until the customer put on protection. If he refused, then she could leave the room and get Marci.

  "Go upstairs and eat, sweetheart." Bear lifted Madison to her feet and turned to Tiff. "Where's Jeremy?"

  "He's upstairs," said Tiff.

  "Get him, honey."

  Bear turned Madison around and kissed her gently. "And, I'll see you after the show starts."

  Madison frowned. Tiff had been more than generous to allow her time with Bear, but she couldn't ask for special consideration when she'd disrupted everyone's day and lost the money coming from her appointment with Gary.

  "Go on, sweetheart. Tiff will take you upstairs." Bear looked over Madison's head and lifted his chin at Tiff.

  Escorted away, Madison climbed the red-carpeted steps. Once alone in her room, she worried about her liabilities working for Red Light and how much her trouble would affect her future placement through the Network.

  Maybe she'd request only big cities from now one. Bordellos with more working women. Small towns, while nice, were too difficult to go unnoticed.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Bear's fist connected with Gunner's face. He moved to follow his MC brother to the ground, and Jeremy yanked him away from kicking Gunner's ass. The twenty-minute wait for Jeremy to show up and finding out he brought reinforcement in the form of Jeremy's dad—a man nobody messed with, and Gunner pushed him too fucking far.

  "Enough." Jeremy pushed Bear back against the building.

  Bear heaved himself off the wall and paced the area behind the Sterling building. Keeping his distance from Jeremy and Cam, he watched for any sign Gunner would stand and take another hit. He wanted to pound his frustration out over his inability to keep Madison safe, and Gunner had stepped forward willing to take the heat.

  "I'm out." Gunner sat on his ass, his arms propped up on his knees.

  Blood dripped from the corner of Gunner's split lip. Bear wiped his forehead off with his hand, swallowing the obstructions flaming his anger, and more determined to get to a solution on how to handle the situation with Madison working at Red Light.

  "Customers are arriving out front." Jeremy approached Bear. "You want to talk, then talk."

  Gunner pushed himself to his feet and walked with Cam inside the back of the building leaving Bear alone with his president. He rubbed the sore knuckles of his right hand.

  "Explain to me what happens in the Blue Room," said Bear, aching over the question constantly on his mind. "Tell me how they treat her. I want to know what she does and how much she gives away every time she faces a stranger who pays her for sex? What do they take from her every time that fucking door closes?"

  Jeremy slipped chew inside his lower lip and studied Bear. "Why do you want to know?"

  "Why the fuck do you think?" Bear lowered his voice. "I care about her."

  "You care about Lola, Katie, and Jessie, too."

  Bear clenched his teeth. "They're Moroad women, not prostitutes."

  "Right." Jeremy turned his head and spat on the ground. "You stick with the Moroad women, and you won't have all the questions going through your mind. The women know their boundaries within the club, and you understand how you should treat them."

  Bear faced off with Jeremy. "Are you going to answer the damn question or not?"

  Jeremy widened his stance. "Rules are different depending on what room the ladies stay in."

  "Tell me about the Blue Room."

  "Madison." Jeremy exhaled. "She's the most popular lady at Red Light at the moment. The customers understand she doesn't talk before they go into the room. She gives them what they want, which is a quiet woman who asks no questions, makes no noise, and won't tell them no."

  "Jesus Christ," whispered Bear.

  "Compared to the others, Madison has the shortest menu. She only performs the basics. They fuck her pussy. She sucks them off." Jeremy wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

  Bear's spine stiffened, and he pulled his shoulders back. The vision of Madison laying there, unable to say no, vulnerable to a different man every fifteen minutes sickened him.

  "Tiff tells me the men aren't allowed to put their mouth on the ladies or touch th
em, besides holding on to have sex." Jeremy held Bear's gaze. "The men take their dick out of their pants and stay dressed. Madison is naked or will wear something sexy if requested. I'm telling you, man, hearing the ladies talk around the place, there is no pleasure in what they do."

  Bear walked off in pain, returned, and asked, "Then why the fuck does she do it?"

  "Bear." Jeremy exhaled loudly. "Brother, that is something you'll have to ask Madison."

  The sheriff drove by in his SUV. Bear followed the vehicle with his gaze. His safety regarding his freedom forgotten, his main concern on Madison and keeping her under the radar.

  "The guy..." Bear turned back around to Jeremy. "Is there going to be any trouble coming from him?"

  "Anxious to get rid of the stain?" asked Jeremy.

  "More than you know," mumbled Bear.

  "The guy was a salesman traveling through the area." Jeremy spat a thin stream of tobacco between his boots. "I had Dad and Merk follow him out of town, and the sheriff ran the plates for me. He has no connections to our enemies, and I don't think he'll be a problem. He was just some asshole with a kink, and he finished what he set out to do. It's over."

  "It better be." Bear pulled out his phone and read the pop-up notification. "It's Madison."

  Jeremy clamped his hand down on Bear's shoulder. "Watch yourself. You keep your activities with Madison from the other ladies. Tiff's got enough on her plate without dealing with you hanging around one of her girls."

  "Right." Bear waited until his president walked into the building and then he read the text.

  Madison: "I've decided to stay inside tonight."

  What the hell? He walked over to the wrought-iron bench and sat down to reply.

  "Are you okay?" He pushed send.

  Seconds turned to minutes. Finally, she replied. "Yes."

  Yes? What kind of answer was that?

  He tapped on the screen. "Then let me see you."

  Madison: "Not tonight. I need to think, and you mess with my head, Bear. I'm sorry."

  She was sorry?

  "I need to talk with you." He got up from the bench and walked down the alley. "Come outside."

  He pocketed his phone and looked up at the empty balcony. He'd need to pull his Harley into the alley if he planned to scale the railing.

  His phone vibrated, and he shoved his hand into his pocket and pulled out his cell again.

  Madison: "We'll talk, but not now. Later."

  "Sweetheart, don't do this. Let me see you." He looked along the side of the building at the other balconies. Lucky for him, the others weren't outside. Madison made him lose his head. He forgot to take precautions around the building.

  Flattening himself against the brick wall in the shadow of the building, he rang her phone. If she didn't want to talk, he'd talk.

  The call went straight to voicemail. She'd shut her damn phone off.

  Chapter Fifteen

  The conversation around the table in the kitchen stopped. Madison looked up from her bowl of oatmeal to find Aubrey, Sunny, and Paige staring at her. She raised her brows in question.

  "Well?" Sunny lowered her voice. "I asked what was wrong with you. You've been quiet the last few days."

  She shook her head. The three-day break from Bear made the days and nights drag on, and she no longer questioned what to do with Bear, but how to stop her growing feeling toward him.

  "Whatever, keep your secrets." Sunny sat back in her chair.

  "Leave her alone." Aubrey stood from the table. "It's time to walk down to the doctor's office anyway. I hope I'm scheduled first."

  "I'm sick of going to the doctors." Paige wadded up her napkin. "It'd be different if we got paid to put our feet in the stirrups."

  Sunny laughed. "Only one more month and we'll all have a week off while the Network decides our next destination."

  Madison dropped her spoon in her unfinished bowl of oats and carried it over to the sink, scraping the extra into the garbage disposal and loaded the dish in the dishwasher. The ache between her shoulders throbbed. In thirty days, she'd walk away from Bear and wonder what would've happened if circumstances were different.

  Would taking a chance at a relationship be different if she worked in a grocery store? If she could talk? If no scar lined her neck? If she could count all the times she'd had sex on her fingers?

  As long as the answers to her questions escaped her, she unfairly kept Bear close to her and needed to let him go.

  "Hey," said Paige, moving close to Madison. "Sunny was being sincere when she asked how you were doing. We've all noticed you've kept to yourself after dinner lately. Are you really okay?"

  Madison nodded and mustered a smile for Paige's benefit.

  "Ladies? It's time to go," said Marci.

  Madison hugged Paige to thank her for caring. There was nothing any of them could do to help her decide how to move forward if she confided in their offer of friendship.

  She grabbed her hoodie from the back of the chair she sat on at the table and pulled it over her head. Together, they all walked out the second-floor exit, through the alley, and strolled down the block as if they were tourists out to seek breakfast at one of the restaurants. Instead, they slipped into Dr. Brandof's office before anyone noticed.

  Madison sat in the nearest chair, shoving her hands in the pouch of her hoodie. The brisk walk to the doctors failed to remove the chill.

  Aubrey nudged Madison with her elbow. She glanced at Aubrey, found her pointing to the other side of the room and heard the doctor speak her name.

  "Lucky," muttered Aubrey.

  Madison grinned. Every week, her appointment came before the others. And, every week, Aubrey held out hope she'd be first and have more free time to herself afterward.

  Dr. Brandof motioned Madison into the small, white room. "The gown is on the table. You know the routine. Once you're ready, knock on the door, and we'll do this fast so you can get back and enjoy your day off."

  Madison followed the directions, stripping down completely and putting the gown on. She tapped on the door and stepped backward to the table, setting her notepad and pen on the paper sheet in case she needed to communicate with the doctor.

  Dr. Brandof came into the room as he'd promised, and seemed to finish before she had time to worry about the probing and cold speculum. After he had completed his internal examination, he drew blood out of her right arm.

  "Perfect." Dr. Brandof put a Band-Aid on the inside of her elbow and placed the vial of blood in the tray on the counter. "Unless there's something you'd like to discuss, you're free to get dressed. I'll call in your results in two days before you're due back to work."

  Madison raised her hand in front of her mouth, flattened her fingers, and arched her arm down in thanks.

  "You're very welcome, Madison. I'll see you next week." Dr. Brandof swept out of the room with the tail of his white coat flapping behind him.

  Madison redressed and walked out to the waiting room, bypassing Sunny in the hallway. Marci met her and asked if she'd like to wait for the others or have security take her back to the Sterling Building. She glanced out the window. Ever since she walked out of her room for breakfast, she wondered if Bear would show up to provide her with an escort.

  Secretly, she wanted him to come and see her. Her more rational side told her if he refused to come back it would be the best thing for her. She lacked the strength to walk away from him and craved how he made her feel.

  Unable to see anyone outside waiting, she hitched her thumb toward the door.

  "Go on. Tiff is at the building to let you inside. We'll be there as soon as the other ladies are finished with their appointment," said Marci.

  Madison pushed through the door, glancing in both directions and, at first, failed to spot anyone. She turned to go back inside when Bear stepped out of the sunken doorway next door and lumbered toward her.

  Her heart raced.

  Her breathing ceased to exist.

  Her chest warmed un
comfortably.

  Panic paralyzed her, and yet she refused to leave because he was the most beautiful sight she'd seen all week. She took in the haggard expression his full beard failed to hide, the messed hair hanging past his shoulders, the extra crinkles at the corner of his eyes, and concern for him pushed her reluctance to face her problems away.

  He stopped in front of her. His gaze intensified and his brows lowered. Her body shook, and she fought going to him. Bear wore his frustration and worry etched on his face. She blinked hard. Her refusal to talk with him had hurt them both.

  Her muteness made communication difficult on a good day, and she'd used her disability to her advantage when she cut off all ways for him to contact her. It was simple for her not to talk because she couldn't. In anger or frustration, words were never flung out in the wind without first thinking about every single word she typed or wrote and how they represented her.

  He had to understand. She had no chance to disagree or argue a point. Refusing to answer him remained her only option. She'd simply stopped writing and texting to protect herself.

  His willingness to take responsibility for her scared her. Not because she hated the thought of him taking care of her. She wanted him more than anything, but she couldn't allow herself to be hurt. She'd never survive any more pain.

  "We need to walk, or Marci will be out here wondering what is wrong." Bear turned.

  She strolled beside him, wanting to explain and ease Bear's understanding of what was happening and at a loss of how to explain. When she'd decided to take a break from him to think things over, she selfishly hadn't realized how deeply her decision affected him. She hadn't wanted to believe, or maybe she wanted to believe, he was honest about his feelings. Now faced with what she'd done, she wanted to apologize because she made the wrong decision to turn him away.

  Except, she'd left her phone in her room at Red Light and her notepad on the table in the exam room at the doctor's office. She had no way to tell him how much she'd missed him and how much brightness he brought into her life and how much she looked forward to spending time with him or how her feelings scared her.