Eternal Mourning

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  He kissed her hard, and she wrapped her arms around his back, her hands digging into his skin, needing more, aching for far more.

  “I need you in me,” she whispered. “Now.”

  He kissed her jaw, his cock teasing her entrance. “Patience, Aimee.”

  She bit his jaw in turn. “Walker.”

  “You know biting only turns a wolf on.”

  “Next time, I’m going to suck on those pretty nipples until you come from just my touch, then I’m going to eat you until you come again, and then I want you to ride me, that way, I can play with your wet and sore nipples more. What do you say, Aimee? Will you ride me?”

  She opened her mouth to speak, but couldn’t when he flicked his finger over her clit.

  But he stopped teasing her and, thankfully, thankfully, he slid deep inside, stretching her with this length. Her body shook, and they both broke out in a sweat as they moved together. He slid in and out of her, his gaze never leaving hers. With each thrust, she was closer and closer to coming, but she kept hanging on, not wanting to go until he did.

  And though the first time they were together had been singularly the most sensual and perfect experience of her life, this…this was more.

  Maybe it was intent. Maybe it was because she knew what could happen. But this was…different.

  “Aimee. Mine.”

  “Mine,” she repeated, and then she came, Walker doing the same as he kissed her hard before ripping his mouth from hers. Fangs elongated from his gums, but she wasn’t scared.

  This was Walker.

  Healer. Wolf. Man.

  Hers.

  Hers.

  Walker bit into her shoulder, and she cried out, not in pain, but in pleasure as the sensation sent her over the edge into another orgasm. As soon as his lips touched her shoulder, his mouth holding her steady, something inside her snapped into place.

  Warmth spread through her chest, and she could see, could feel, a thread wrapping around her heart and soul, the other end tying her to Walker. Something pulsed deeply inside her, her body feeling as though there were a million tiny pinpricks of sensation bursting and vibrating all over her skin at the same time.

  Walker, her mate, let go of her shoulder, licking the mark before letting out a growl. He took her lips, and though she could taste her own blood, it wasn’t weird, not in this way, not in this moment. He was a wolf, and she was his.

  They were cemented together in time at that moment, their bodies one as the mating bond slid into place. Another bond, this one not as warm and bright but just as steady, closed around her, and she knew that was the tie to the Pack.

  She was a Talon. She was Walker’s.

  She wasn’t the Aimee she’d been a few moments ago, wasn’t the woman she was a month ago.

  She was new, with a future path to forge.

  And while it should have scared her, she could only relish it and hold Walker closer.

  Walker was her mate. Now, she had to figure out what that meant. She’d known she could fall for this man, could love him with every ounce of her being, and now that she’d taken this step, she knew she could let herself fall for him—something she’d tried not to do initially because of the odds stacked against them.

  She let out a sigh as Walker held her close, murmuring sweet words to her. There would be times to come where they could figure out what to do next, but for now, she would sink into his hold and forget the rest of the world.

  Because if she didn’t do that? Well…the world wouldn’t forget her so easily, would it?

  “It feels so weird,” Aimee said then frowned. “That’s not the right word.”

  “Weird is as good a word as any since it’s so new,” Walker said, his voice warm. She could feel him inside her with such intensity it sometimes scared her. Yet at other times over the past few hours, it was as if nothing had changed. Their mating bond was still finding a way to settle and, apparently, it would do this oscillating thing for a little while longer.

  He squeezed her hand as they walked along one of the paths that led out of the Talon Pack den and into the forest surrounding it. According to Walker, they were still on Talon territory, but not inside the actual wards. She didn’t quite understand the difference, other than the fact that one had more guards than the other, but she would learn.

  Because, apparently, she was a Talon member now.

  Oh, boy.

  Other than not needing to stand next to Walker when she went through the wards, nothing had changed too much in the past few hours. They hadn’t spoken to any other member of the Pack yet since they’d wanted to just be by themselves while they figured out this new normal but, apparently, Gideon had texted Walker to welcome her to the Pack.

  There would be more formal things later, but for now, it was just the two of them.

  What formal things would there be for two people who were now mated but only in the beginning stages of their relationship? They didn’t love one another. Oh, there were sparks and perhaps the beginnings of what could be love, but they’d done all of this in the wrong order. She just hoped Walker didn’t feel as though he made a mistake.

  “You’re thinking too hard,” he said, not looking at her.

  “This is awkward, I can’t help it.”

  He frowned, stopped walking, and this time, turned to fully face her. “What’s awkward?”

  She waved her hand around in the air. “This. All of this. We’re mates, and I have no idea what I’m supposed to say or feel. I mean, I probably wouldn’t feel this way if we’d known each other and dated for years and slowly eased into mating. But since we didn’t, I not only have my normal anxiety, I have the newness added on.” She met his gaze, making sure he saw the intent in her eyes. “I am not regretting. I’m just saying…we did things backwards, and I’m going to need some time—with you—to make sure we don’t forget any of the steps we skipped.”

  Walker was quiet for so long, she was afraid she’d said something wrong, but then he smiled widely, and she moved that much closer to being in love with him. He had a truly beautiful smile with the barest hint of a dimple that did warm things to her, and she couldn’t help but smile back.

  “You sound pretty normal to me.” He paused, cupping her face. “We’re going to make this work. Not because of what Avery said, but because of what we want.”

  “I believe in you. In what we can be. I never believed in anything before, not really. So we might be doing this backwards…”

  “But we’re still doing this,” he finished for her.

  He kissed her softly, the mating bond between them flaring so it warmed her, but it didn’t scare her like it might have just an hour ago. She was far more resilient than she’d given herself credit for in the past.

  “How about we play twenty questions?” Walker asked. “That’s still a thing, right? It was when I was a kid, at least.”

  She snorted. “You’re not that much older than me.”

  “Almost a century,” he said, and while it should have sounded weird, it was their new normal. It had been a different normal even before their mating as she had already been immersed into the paranormal world with Dawn and getting to know the wolves through her friends. Her normal hadn’t been like others for longer than meeting Walker. “But that kind of age difference doesn’t really matter once everyone starts aging like us.”

  “Okay, so twenty questions,” she said quickly, doing her best not to think about wolves and what her next phase would be. They hadn’t talked about when she would change, but she knew the conversation was looming. From the way she’d felt when she walked through the wards, they’d all known the curse was still active. There was no hiding from it. When everything settled down inside her, and Walker was able to test the bonds between them, they would start the process of seeing if she could be Healed.

  All of this could be for naught, though, and that idea scared her. So, she didn’t think about it. One step at a time, she reminded herself. One freakishly large step at a ti
me.

  “I’ll go first. What’s the order of the triplets? I actually don’t know who is older.” She blushed, knowing she should have known at least that before she mated Walker, but there was no going back now.”

  Walker smiled. “It goes Kameron, then me, then Brandon. I’m the middle child of the triplets and, apparently, acted like it.”

  She wasn’t sure she quite believed that since all of the Brentwoods seemed to care for one another as if they were all the eldest siblings. It was something—a true strength—she’d admired even before she knew Walker was hers.

  “What about your family? I don’t know much about them.”

  “My parents worked their tails off at dead-end jobs that usually amounted to nothing. My cousins and the rest of the family are pretty much the same way. No matter how hard we try, the family can’t save a dime. Stock market crashes, bad investments, literal thieves. My family has seen it all. No one has been to college in generations, though none of us are dumb, we just can’t afford it, and life keeps getting in the way. I know my great-grandparents had a decent nest egg, and even had degrees, but other than that…nothing.”

  Walker frowned at her. “You know, it could be that your line is cursed, not just you. And the curse is reacting differently to you than it did with the others.”

  Aimee had no idea what to think about that, or what she was going to say, because as soon as she opened her mouth to speak, Walker’s head shot up, and he pulled her behind him.

  A beautiful woman with long, blond hair and a fierce strength in the way she walked—no prowled—toward them slid through the trees. She inclined her head at them but didn’t stop moving.

  “Walker, right?” the stranger asked, and Aimee had the sudden urge to rake her nails down her mate’s arm and show the world who he belonged to.

  She must have made a noise, or Walker felt her emotions through the bond because he gave her an approving look before looking back at the other woman.

  “Audrey, good to see you. Are you alone?”

  Audrey nodded. “Yes.” She gave Aimee a pointed look that got her hackles up. Apparently, Aimee was now not only territorial when it came to her new mate, but also acting more wolf-like with every passing moment.

  “Aimee, this is Audrey, Beta of the Aspen Pack. Audrey, this is my mate, Aimee.”

  Audrey gave Walker a look before nodding at Aimee. “You smell of him, but I couldn’t be sure. Congratulations on your new mating. I assume it’s new since you weren’t mated the last time I saw you.”

  “Yes, and thank you,” Walker said. “Are you here for a reason?” Aimee had a feeling he was being careful with his words, and she didn’t blame him as they weren’t in den territory, and anyone could overhear.

  Suddenly, Aimee didn’t feel as safe anymore.

  The other woman nodded, then looked sharply at Aimee. Before Aimee could ask what was wrong, she called out, her back bending back as a shocking pain slammed into her. Blood poured out of her nose, and she fell forward, her limbs shaking, her hands clamping down hard.

  Walker caught her in his arms and yelled her name, but she couldn’t really hear him.

  Audrey was by her side, as well, holding her arm as if she were trying to help, but Aimee didn’t understand what was going on. She didn’t know anything it seemed.

  Had they been too late, after all?

  No matter the bond, no matter the visions from Avery, they had lost.

  The curse had won.

  And now, Aimee would lose Walker…and herself. Forever.

  Chapter Eleven

  Walker’s wolf pushed at him, wanting to claw anyone who got too near, but he knew it wouldn’t help a damn thing. He couldn’t change a damn thing. He was a Healer who couldn’t Heal the one person who mattered the most, and until the end of his days, he would never forget the sound that Aimee made as she fell, never forget the shock on her face as the truth of what was happening settled over both of them.

  He was about to lose his mate before he even truly had her.

  And he had no way of stopping it, not anymore, not even with the strength in his body—the horror of the curse far darker than anything he’d seen before. Because of their fragile and far-too-new mating bond, he could feel her terror and agony, or at least her reaction to them as she seized on the ground in front of him.

  He tried to push his magic through their bond as Pack and mates, but it only slid over her like a blanket, not penetrating but at least easing some of her pain.

  Though not enough.

  It would never be enough.

  He would never be enough.

  Walker met the gold of Audrey’s gaze and growled. “I can’t help her.”

  His Healing did nothing, even as he tried over and over to do something to save his mate. Their bond pulsed, warming before going back to its resting state, as if it couldn’t handle any more than it already had.

  Audrey let out a breath. “She’s dying, I can smell it on her.”

  He let out a growl, low and deadly. “She. Can’t. Die.”

  The lion shifter didn’t back down. Instead, she met his eyes, the dominance there almost making him drop his gaze, though he didn’t, not when Aimee was lying beside him in pain. He couldn’t show weakness, not in front of this near stranger.

  “Can we move her to your clinic? Take her to your Alpha? Because she won’t last much longer as a human. She has to be changed.”

  He’d come to that same conclusion, but he hadn’t wanted to voice that, not yet. Not when he and Aimee hadn’t been able to discuss it. He would never change another without their consent, and though they’d talked about her becoming a wolf soon, he still needed to hear her voice.

  Or, perhaps, he needed to hear her voice because once he did, he would know she would be okay.

  Only nothing would be okay.

  “We don’t have time,” he growled as he put his hand on her pulse. It was thready, and he knew that if they didn’t move soon, they wouldn’t have time to make any decisions. Her body had stilled, forcing his wolf to lash out at him, trying to figure out a way to save their mate. “If we don’t change her now, we won’t be able to later.”

  Audrey’s eyes widened. “She’s your mate, so I assume that you both knew she would one day become a wolf?”

  He nodded. “We’re so damn new. She was supposed to have more time.” They were supposed to have more time. His wolf tugged at him, but he knew he wouldn’t be enough.

  In order to change a human into a wolf—and perhaps any shifter since he didn’t know about the other type well enough—the human had to be near death. A single bite or slash wouldn’t do it. They had to be mauled, sliced up, and bitten to the point of agony and then, only then, would the wolf rise to the surface to allow whatever was in the bite to form a new shifter. It was an excruciating process that didn’t necessarily work in all cases, and almost always required the bite of an Alpha or a shifter that was nearly as dominant.

  Someone far more dominant than Walker.

  Tears burned at the backs of his eyes, but he pushed them away. There would be time for self-recrimination and sorrow later. Aimee didn’t have enough time left for him to beat himself up for not being dominant enough to save her.

  “I’m not dominant enough.” His words were hollow, though every emotion that dared slide through his system barreled into his heart and soul. He was showing weakness to someone he didn’t know because there was nothing else he could do. Aimee was no longer screaming, and her heartbeat was slowing.

  They were far enough away from the den that the sentries couldn’t hear them, not where they were. He could call Mitchell, Gideon, or even Ryder to him, but he didn’t know if they were even in the den. All of them had prior commitments that day in order to help the Pack.

  Walker was alone in his dawning horror.

  Except there was one other near him who was far more dominant. Another who could help. But in so doing, it could threaten so much more than what they might gain by giving A
imee more time. It would be selfish, and not something he could demand.

  But he could ask.

  “Audrey…”

  “I…if I do this, Blade will know I told you about the existence of cat shifters. There will be no hiding it. And since she is already a Talon, she will be the lone feline in a Pack full of wolves. Things won’t be easy for her, and you will have to hide what she is from the humans. We’re out of satellite range right now, but no matter what happens next, you must protect the secret. I told you and the rest of your family what I am because the moon goddess insisted.” She cursed under her breath. “This might be the reason for her telling me to do so, and I hate that it is.”

  “I can’t force you to do this, I can only ask and try to make you understand that I have nothing else. She’s my everything.” At least she would be, or maybe she already was. He needed more time to figure that out. He hadn’t known that was true until the words slipped from his mouth, but he knew now that deep in his gut it was.

  Audrey’s body shivered before she gave him a tight nod. “I’ll need to shift to complete it, but I can bite her now to start the process. I pray to the moon goddess that not only this works, but that it’s the right thing to do.”

  Her fangs elongated to about the same size his had when he marked Aimee the night before, but he knew this bite wouldn’t be like the one he’d given. This one would hurt. It would eventually kill. And, hopefully, it would bring her back.

  Audrey’s eyes shifted, her pupils slit like a cat’s. Her fangs were also curved differently, but it didn’t change the sound of tearing flesh as Audrey bit into his mate’s upper arm near her shoulder. It was far too close to the mating mark he had given Aimee the night before, but he couldn’t stop the other woman as she worked. The Beta of the Aspen Pack was risking everything to save Aimee, and for that, Walker would forever be in her debt.