Eternal Mourning

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  But even with all of that talking, Walker had pulled away from her. Maybe at first, it was because he’d been worried that he was hurting her so soon after everything that happened, but she was fully healed now and had more energy than she’d ever had in her life. She’d even filled out in the past few days, surprising the hell out of her one morning when she studied herself in the mirror. Her curves had rounded just enough that it was noticeable that she wasn’t on death’s door any longer. Even her breasts were firmer and just a bit larger as they overfilled her bra.

  And yet, Walker hadn’t touched her.

  Now, she was worried that they’d moved too fast, and he now thought he’d made a mistake. Maybe he’d only taken her as his mate to save her life or because he wanted to see if he could fix the mating bonds like he’d been trying to do before he even met her. She hated this self-doubt because it was starting to consume her. So much so that she was worried she wouldn’t be able to find her place in the Pack.

  It wasn’t as if they needed a waitress, after all.

  For now, she was helping Walker at the clinic, but with Leah on staff, she didn’t know if he truly needed her or if it was just something she could do with her time.

  She knew she needed to figure it out though and stop analyzing every single move Walker made. It was making her crazy, and she wouldn’t be able to thrive in this new life if she was constantly afraid that everyone thought they’d made a mistake by rescuing her.

  Someone elbowed her, and she glanced over at Dhani, who had taken the spot next to her. She and Cheyenne had shown up that day to spend the afternoon watching hot, sweaty men play football, and then later, have dinner at Dawn’s. They knew what Aimee was now, but that didn’t mean anyone truly understood what that meant.

  “Stop frowning,” Dhani said softly, though Aimee could hear her clearly. She hadn’t adjusted to her new senses yet, and Walker warned her that they would get even stronger after her first shift.

  As the full moon was still a week or so away, she had time to worry about that, as well. It was, apparently, what she did now.

  “Am I frowning?” Aimee asked, her gaze on Walker as he bent forward for the snap. His jeans rode low, and she was pretty sure her mouth watered at the sight.

  “Yeah, you are, and I have no idea why. You’re healthy—praise everything for that—you have a very sexy man you get to sleep with running around shirtless and sweaty in front of you, and you’re surrounded by people who care about you. What’s wrong? Do you need some chocolate or something to perk you up?”

  Cheyenne leaned around Dhani. “Did someone say chocolate?”

  “I have chocolate,” Dawn said from Aimee’s other side. She handed over a bag of chocolate caramels, and each of the girls took one.

  Aimee moaned when she took a bite, and Walker’s head turned sharply in her direction at the sound. She blushed and waved the half-eaten chocolate at him, and he smiled. That grin did something warm to her insides, and she tried not to make too much of a scene when surrounded by so many people she didn’t know. The Pack hadn’t exactly warmed up to her yet—hence why her friends surrounded her, rather than some of the other wolves she didn’t know. Walker’s family sat next to them, as well. and did their best to show that Aimee was one of theirs, but it was still awkward as hell because so many of the others didn’t know what to do with a cat shifter in their midst.

  They didn’t know where she would land in the hierarchy, nor did they know anything else about how she would shift or hunt or even use magic. Because, apparently, some of the wolves each held special…powers, but Aimee was pretty sure that wouldn’t be her. She was already the odd woman out because she was a lion—something she was never going to get used to thinking—and she didn’t want anything else to single her out in a Pack that had already been through so much.

  Before she could say anything else to her friends, however, Walker prowled toward her, his gaze intent. She looked up at him as he hovered over her before he knelt in front of her, wrapped his hand around the back of her head, and brought her face to his for a deep kiss.

  This time, her moan was something else entirely, and she didn’t care that others were around her, watching, listening, probably talking and murmuring.

  “Dhani told you to stop frowning, and I agree,” he said quietly against her lips, though she knew at least Dawn would have heard him. “When we get home later, we’ll talk about what I felt along our bond.”

  Her brows rose. “What did you feel?” She only felt warmth along her side usually, and she wasn’t sure what else would happen with it. She’d heard that some mates could talk to each other along it; others could feel where each other were no matter where they stood. For now, she just knew that Walker was there, nothing else.

  “We’ll talk about it later.” He kissed her again. “Got a game to finish.” He grinned then, and she couldn’t help but fall that much more for him. “And the fact that we can feel the mating bonds? Hell, Aimee, something is different with them. Something…”

  “Normal,” Brandon said from behind Walker. She hadn’t noticed the other man walk up, but then again, her attention had been solely on her mate and his incredible lips. “They feel like they should. I’ve been noticing it for the past couple of days, but it’s taken a while for me to figure out exactly what it means. Ever since you mated in, Aimee, something’s different. A good different.”

  Aimee was about to say something, though she wasn’t sure what since that statement had come out of nowhere, but before she could, someone gasped on the field.

  Brandon and Walker turned, and Aimee stood, putting her hand on Walker’s back for support since he was so close to her, she didn’t want them to topple over.

  On the field, a man in jeans and a t-shirt stood in front of one shirtless man, each staring at the other with wide eyes. Aimee recognized the one in the shirt as one of the sentries who had let her into the den a few times before she was Pack. Since he’d come from the direction of one of the gates, he must have just gotten off shift.

  The two men stared at each other as if neither had seen the other before, yet she knew they had to know each other since they worked together within the den.

  “Holy shit,” Cheyenne whispered when the two men cupped each other’s faces and kissed as if there were no tomorrow.

  “Uh, does this happen often, because making out on the field while playing football might be something I want to join in on,” Dhani put in, making everyone around her chuckle.

  Brandon rubbed his hand over his chest, and his two mates came up to him, holding him close. “They’re mates,” the Omega said after a moment. “I mean, they aren’t bonded yet, but they just figured out that they’re mates.”

  Aimee looked up at Walker, confused. “It can happen that quickly?”

  The two men went off toward, presumably, one of their houses for some privacy, as Walker answered. “Not usually. Well, it hasn’t been like that for a while anyway. And even then, Adam and Ben have known each other for years, so their wolves should have recognized one another long before this. Yet with the mating bonds having been out of tune for so long, things got a little cloudy.”

  “So maybe the bonds are coming back or something?” Dhani said, a frown on her face. She looked over her shoulder and stiffened, but when Aimee looked to where her friend’s gaze had landed, she only saw the rest of the Brentwoods, nothing that would have made Dhani frown.

  “This is good,” Walker said, awe in his voice. “This is really good. Though I wish I knew the why of it.”

  Aimee wrapped her arms around his middle, and he lifted his arm to hold her tightly. “You’ll figure it out. But progress is good, right? And you have another mating to celebrate, from what I can tell.”

  Walker smiled again, and the others came over to hug and laugh with them.

  “It seems we might need to have a huge mating ceremony soon for a few couples,” Gideon said. “After all, the two of you still need to have yours under the moon.” />
  Walker kissed the top of her head, and that new warmth inside her—her cat—purred. “Sounds good to me.”

  “We going to finish the game?” Kameron asked, his voice a little cold. He was always cold around her, though she didn’t know why. There was just something about Kameron that made her feel like she was missing something, but she could never quite figure out what it was.

  “Oh, yes, because playing football is what you should do to celebrate,” Dhani said sarcastically, and Kameron just glared.

  Aimee tugged on her friend’s arm. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

  Dhani shrugged and turned her attention away from the glaring wolf. “Nothing.”

  Aimee didn’t quite believe her and was thankful when the others went back to their game, this time with a little more lightness to their steps. Walker even patted her on the butt as he walked away, and she couldn’t help but stare.

  Maybe she was wrong that he didn’t want her. Maybe she just needed to breathe.

  The others resumed their game, and she sat next to her friends, aware that others were staring, but she wasn’t sure if it was because of the Brentwoods or her. She clenched her fists, her fingertips burning. Walker had warned her that she’d have to get used to this new side of herself, but because she hadn’t shifted yet, she wasn’t sure what would come of it all.

  Something pricked her senses, and she looked over her shoulder, trying to see what it was. She frowned and swore she had heard someone call out, but no one else seemingly had. Maybe she was losing her mind even without the curse to aid her in doing that. She was just about to turn back to the game when she heard another shout.

  Once again, no one else turned around.

  Worried now, with her cat rising to the surface—though she wasn’t sure if that was the right way to say it or even understand the feeling—she stood up, ignoring her friends’ worried looks.

  Another call—this time, a scream.

  She ran toward it without a second glance, not caring that others were calling out to her or that Walker was running behind her. She knew it wasn’t a trick, knew she wasn’t the one in danger. It was something else.

  Aimee jumped over a fallen log and ran through the surrounding forest until she came up to a ravine, the edge jagged from where a mudslide had taken out part of the walkway at least a few weeks ago.

  This time, the shout that came was louder.

  A cry from a child down in the ravine.

  Letting her instincts take over, she scaled down the wall, her claws poking through her fingertips so she could steady herself. It burned, and she had no idea how she’d done it, but she told herself if she thought too hard about what was happening, she’d fall or end up hurting the child.

  A little girl of about five or six lay on one of the jagged rocks, just below the sightline of anyone who might look down over the edge of the cliff. She had a bloody knee and dirt on her face, but otherwise, she seemed all right. She must have rolled down the side yet, somehow, hadn’t fallen any farther.

  Tearstains made tracks in the dirt on her face, and Aimee held back tears of her own.

  “Aimee!” Walker called out.

  “I’m down here!” She knelt in front of the little girl, careful not to lean any way too much or she’d overbalance and fall. “What’s your name, honey?”

  “Hannah,” the girl whispered. “I’m not supposed to be out of daycare. I’m in trouble.”

  Aimee held out her hand, but the little girl stayed where she was. “No, you aren’t. Not right this second. Can you help me get you back up? I’m sure your mommy and daddy miss you.”

  Hannah shrunk into herself.

  “Walker?” she called out.

  “We’re coming, baby. I can hear you and Hannah. I just need to get a few ropes, and Max is on his way with them.”

  “Ropes?” she called back, doing her best not to sound panicked.

  “I’m a wolf, baby. Apparently, cats climb better than wolves.” There wasn’t panic in his voice, but something told her that while he found that interesting, he was still freaking out for her. And now that she thought about what exactly she’d done, she was freaking out, too.

  The rock below her and Hannah shifted suddenly, and she sucked in a breath. No panicking, not in front of the little girl who was relying on her. “Hannah? Can you climb onto my back?”

  Hannah wasn’t that big, and though Aimee was pretty short, she had her new shifter strength to get her through. At least she hoped she did because if she was wrong, they were both in trouble.

  The rock moved again, and Hannah leapt toward her. It took her new reflexes for Aimee to catch her, and soon, the little girl was on Aimee’s back, and the two of them were shaking.

  “Aimee? Hold on, baby. We’re coming.”

  Walker was calling her baby with others around. He must really be freaking scared. Frankly, so was she—not that she could show that fear, since she had to be strong for this little girl that she had heard from so far away. She’d think about the how of that later.

  “I think I need to climb up now,” she said quickly, doing her best to keep the fear out of her voice. The rock moved again, and she sucked in a breath. She dug her claws into the rock and dirt in front of her and prayed.

  “Shit,” Walker whispered, then cleared his throat. “Okay, Aimee. Be really careful. I’ll pull you up as soon as I can reach you.” Others talked around them, but she only focused on Walker. If she didn’t, she’d start hyperventilating since what she was doing was so far out of her sphere of normal it wasn’t funny.

  “Hold on tight,” Aimee said as calmly as she could.

  Hannah’s hold tightened and, thankfully, she didn’t cut off Aimee’s air, though it was close with how hard the little girl clung to her neck. Then, focusing only on what was in front of her, Aimee started climbing. Her hands burned, and her shoulders ached, but she kept going. She’d gone farther down the rock wall than she realized, but there was no going back now. As soon as her feet were off the ledge below, it crumbled away, forcing a whimper out of Hannah’s throat. It was that sound that allowed Aimee to keep her own gasp in.

  When she got halfway up, the wall curved slightly, and she was able to see Walker. He was holding the edge of the rock face with one hand, others around him either holding him up or doing the same. As soon as she saw him, she almost let out a relieved breath but knew if she didn’t keep going, she’d make a mistake.

  Again, she let instinct take over, and in five more climbs, she was able to reach Walker. He bent forward and gripped her hard, and tears stung her eyes.

  Kameron was on his other side and plucked Hannah from her back, and Aimee clung to Walker as he hoisted them both up. Things moved quickly then as two people who had to be Hannah’s parents, as well as a woman who Aimee remembered was the head of the daycare came rushing forward. Walker held Aimee close, kissed her hard, then went to see if Hannah needed any medical help.

  While everyone moved around her, trying to shore up the edge of the ravine so this accident wouldn’t happen again, as well as figure out how Hannah had fallen where no one had heard her, Aimee stood there, dazed and a little lost.

  She’d saved someone’s life.

  How…how had she done that? And as the reality of what she’d just done settled around her, Walker’s arms held her close.

  “Hannah will be fine. Just a few cuts and bruises I already Healed. Now, let me get a good look at you.”

  She held out her hands, but they were uncut, and her claws had long since disappeared. She wasn’t sure she could call them back if she tried since she had no idea how they had shown up to begin with. She had no clue how any of that had just happened.

  Hannah and her parents came up next to hug her close and say their thanks, and it was all Aimee could do not to break down into tears and wonder how the hell her life had come to this. Others in the Pack hugged her, as well, even those who, just an hour ago, had given her curious and almost distrustful looks. It seemed saving a child�
��s life changed things. To what, she didn’t know, but she did know that this was a moment. One she’d relive forever, wondering how the hell she’d done it at all.

  Walker kissed the top of her head and glared at those who hadn’t been quite as nice to her before, but he didn’t say anything. She wasn’t sure what there was to say anyway. Someone had held her friends back at the field, as no one knew exactly what they would be facing, and she had a feeling there would be hell to pay for that. Of the four of them, Dhani and Cheyenne had always been the fiercest, and they were the only two humans left of the bunch.

  When Kameron came up, she was beyond tired and just wanted to go back to Walker’s house—her home now she supposed—to talk about what had happened. Only, it seemed as if she weren’t going to get that option at the moment.

  “You heard her call out, didn’t you? From all the way by the field.” Kameron studied her so intently, she felt as though she were under a microscope.

  “Yes…” She frowned. “But why could I do that when no one else could?”

  Walker squeezed her before speaking. “It could either be because you’re a lion shifter and that’s how your senses work, or…or it’s a power of some sort that you’ll grow into.”

  She turned toward her mate, her eyes wide. “A power?”

  “Like those with sensory memory or healing that isn’t like what I have.”

  “From what I can tell, your reflexes are super sharp, and your senses even more so.” He tilted his head as if he were in his wolf form. “That could be good for protection within the den walls. Perhaps, one day, you’ll be one of my soldiers. Interesting.”

  Walker let out a growl. “She’s still mine.”

  Aimee just stared between the two of them, confused. A soldier? That hadn’t once crossed her mind. She’d been a waitress with no money, not a fighter. And yet she hadn’t hesitated to save Hannah and run headlong into danger.

  She didn’t know what any of that might mean in the long run, but as she stood in Walker’s arms, she didn’t feel like a lost human with a disease she couldn’t cure any longer. She might not know who she was, but she wasn’t weak.