Snared (Jaded Regret #1)

by L. L. Collins

  I wanted to laugh at her ludicrous statement. I had every reason to be nervous around her. I chose to ignore her comment and tip the soda up to my lips. I knew her eyes were on me, and it made my mind race with possibility. What did she want from me? She didn’t seem like the groupie type. Lord knew I had enough bras and lewd comments thrown at me during our shows. I usually just kicked the bras over to Tanner and let him figure out what he wanted to do with them. That wasn’t me, and it never would be.

  Even if April was the hottest “groupie” I’d ever seen.

  April

  I COULDN’T BELIEVE my luck. I’d found Beau up on the rooftop deck. I hadn’t been able to take my eyes off him since the second I saw him. He’d looked so hot, but so out of his element dressed in that suit. This was much more his style; I could tell. His short, dark hair, coupled with the short beard, had me tingling. Add in the tattoos scrolling across every inch of skin I could see, and I was mesmerized. Even the gauges in his ears had me interested. He tapped his fingers on his jean-clad leg to some invisible beat in his head, and I found myself wondering what his talented fingers would feel like on my skin.

  He wasn’t my type. Not at all. Then again, “my type” hadn’t gotten me anywhere, either. There was something about the quiet way he took everything in, hardly saying a word, and the way his eyes crinkled up when he thought something was funny, his lips showing just a hint of a smile. I knew he was incredibly uncomfortable being up here alone with me, and that intrigued me. Men usually didn’t act so intimidated by me; if anything, they often went overboard trying to get my attention. Beau seemed like he couldn’t care less if I was here next to him or not, and would prefer me not to be here at all.

  Jaded Regret was my favorite band. I loved everything I’d found out about them and what they were doing with their success. I couldn’t believe I’d gotten them to play at this fundraiser. Ever since they’d become famous, I’d followed the story of Bex and Johnny, Tanner, and Beau. I knew as much as any fan could about them. I knew Beau had been a foster kid, and I figured that may be a way for us to connect with each other since that was what I did for a living. My job was my life.

  I did it for my mom, who’d grown up in foster care herself. It wasn’t until she met my dad, after she was out of the system, when her life started turning around. Now she was a huge adoption advocate and worked tirelessly with our state to promote permanent placement for children. This was one of the many reasons I adored Jaded Regret. I’d heard the stories that circulated about Bex, Natalie, and Beau—their history in foster care and how they got out. I wanted to know the real story, not the media version. Bex was always very tight-lipped about it, saying only that she wished to give back to kids like her. I could understand why, but it didn’t stop me from being curious.

  I sipped the bubbly soda. I wanted to ask a million questions, starting with why he wasn’t drinking something harder. Didn’t rockers like to drink? I needed to decide the best way to approach Beau. I’d told Camryn and Bella I’d meet them back down at the hotel bar in a little bit. I’d just needed some time to find Beau and see if my initial feeling of being around him continued.

  It did. I was attracted to him. I wanted to get to know him. And as much as I wasn’t a one-night stand kind of girl, I wanted him to take me to his room. I wasn’t a groupie; well, not in the literal sense. I guess I did know more than most about the band, but I was the daughter of Dr. Knight. I’d brought the band here. I was a professional.

  When I wanted something, I made it happen. The same way I’d “flunked” out of medical school so I could do what I wanted, which was social work. It was April’s way or no way in life. I’d learned from my dad never to take less than what you want, and to work your ass off to make your dreams happen. Much to his chagrin it meant I didn’t do what he wanted me to do, which was to follow in his footsteps.

  Beau cleared his throat, shaking me out of my random thoughts. “I better get in. My sister will wonder where I am.”

  He couldn’t go yet. We hadn’t spoken more than a few words to each other. “Wait.” I placed my hand on his thick thigh. Warmth immediately flooded my body. Beau’s eyes went from my hand on his leg up to meet my gaze, and we were locked in a stare for a moment, neither of us moving.

  “Don’t go yet.” I ignored the way my hands shook involuntarily.

  A look I could only classify as panic crossed Beau’s face before he quickly masked it with indifference. When he shifted to stand, my hand fell off his thigh, and then he busied himself by picking up our empty soda cans. “It was nice to meet you,” he said, not making eye contact. “I’m sure I’ll see you before the concert tomorrow.”

  Before I could say anything else, he strode through the doors and disappeared.

  I sat back and blew out a frustrated breath. “Way to go, April. You’ve apparently lost your touch.” I didn’t want to go back down and face the girls. When I’d told them I wanted to get to know Beau, they’d laughed, thinking I’d been kidding. Then when they’d found out what I meant by “get to know,” they’d been shocked. I’d never in my life had a one-night stand. I’d only had one serious boyfriend in my entire life, and that had ended amicably when we’d graduated college. Sure, I’d had my share of boyfriends over the years, but nothing that made me feel like he was “the one.” So now, at twenty-eight years old, I’d decided maybe I needed to live life a little less seriously.

  Camryn had her eye on Tanner, and I knew without a doubt she’d hook up with him before Jaded Regret went home. Bella was happily married and would just sit and drool over Johnny. Hell, who wouldn’t drool over him? He was like the poster boy for sex with his hot as sin body, tattoos, and talent at guitar. Seeing him and Bex together, it was evident how hot they were for each other, and that fueled the lust women had for him.

  While I wasn’t dead and would agree Johnny was hot, he just didn’t do it for me. Sighing, I stood and walked toward the door. I caught my reflection in the window and took a second to appraise myself. I was still hot, right? I worked hard at keeping my body fit and toned. Fluffing my hair, I turned and walked off the deck to head downstairs and face the music with my girls.

  “Did you find him?” Camryn pounced the second I walked into the bar. Bella smirked, stirring her straw absently as she waited for me to spill it.

  I could lie and tell them I never saw him, but that wasn’t me. “Yeah, I saw him.”

  “And? You aren’t up in his room ripping his clothes off?” Camryn scanned me up and down. “Or did you already? You don’t look like—”

  “Shhhh.” I interrupted and glanced around to make sure no one had heard her. “You make me sound like a hussy.”

  Camryn and Bella both squealed with laughter. “No,” Bella said, clearing her throat. “That’s the thing, April. You aren’t at all. And for you to say you were going to get the drummer of Jaded Regret to have a one-night stand with you was just laughable.”

  Anger sparked low in my belly. They were my best friends and had been since college. “Why is it laughable to think someone might want to sleep with me?” I’d told them before heading to the rooftop deck how I planned to have a one-night stand with Beau, and they’d laughed at me then, too. I guess they didn’t think I was capable of it. What they didn’t know was I would’ve done it in a heartbeat if he’d been willing. And not just because he was Beau Anderson, the hottest drummer in all of rock music, but to prove to myself I could. I could go outside my norm and enjoy myself, loosen up a little.

  Bella’s laughter died. “That’s not what I meant.” She placed her hand on my arm. “What I meant was, there isn’t a man in this world who wouldn’t want you, April, but don’t sell yourself short. You deserve way more than a one-night stand.”

  “I, however,” Camryn said, licking her lips, “would love to take Tanner for a ride. That man is just sex on legs.”

  Bella shook her head. “Cami, don’t you know that man’s reputation?”

  Camryn nodded, her eyes sp
arkling. “Uh huh.”

  It was my turn to shake my head. “Go for it, Cami. Just be careful.” Tanner was hot, I’d give her that, but it was no secret to anyone how many women he took to bed. He didn’t seem to mind the reputation, either. Hey, to each their own, but I didn’t want someone like that in my bed.

  She slid her stool back and grabbed her clutch. She straightened her blond hair and smacked her lips together. “He gave me his room number. So if you’ll excuse me, ladies . . . I’m going to play Tanner’s bass.”

  Bella sputtered as I watched, open-mouthed, as Cami left the room, glancing back at us once and blowing us a kiss. “She is something else.” Cami had always been the most . . . forward . . . of the three of us. Dubbed “The Three Musketeers” in college, we’d been inseparable for years. Bella and I were the most responsible of the three. Cami had always followed the beat of her own drum, but we loved her. She was always seeking to fall in love, but more often than not, figured out she wasn’t in love at all.

  “So tell me what happened,” Bella said, recovered from Cami’s exit.

  “I was so stupid to think I’d have a one-night stand.” I swirled the wine in my glass.

  “It’s not you,” Bella agreed. “But tell me what happened.”

  “I wanted it to be me.” I grinned at her. “Have you seen him?”

  “I wouldn’t throw any of them out of my bed,” Bella began, “if I was single, that is. Don’t deflect. Answer the question.”

  Bella knew I was good at deflecting when I didn’t want to talk about something, but she never let me get away with it. She was happily married to her college sweetheart, and the two of them made me want to throw up every time we got together, in the best way of course. They were perfect for each other.

  “I went up to the roof and he was there. It was just a lucky guess. He’s so quiet, Bell. He hardly spoke three words to me.”

  “Did you freak him out or something? Go all fan girl on him?”

  I rolled my eyes. “No. Geez. My dad and I are the ones who brought Jaded Regret here. I think that’s just him. He did offer me a drink, though.”

  Bella’s eyebrows raised. “Well, that’s a good sign.”

  “But the second I asked him to stay, he did kind of freak out.”

  “You asked him to stay? Wow, April. You grew a pair tonight. What’s gotten into you?”

  I didn’t know the answer to that, other than just being tired of being at a stalemate in my life. “I want what you and Jeremy have.”

  “And you think you’re going to find that in a drummer for a rock band you’ve only known for a few hours?” Well, when she put it like that, it did sound ridiculous.

  I shook my head. “Well, not really. I just want to do things that are outside my ‘norm,’ you know? Doing things the way I’ve always done them isn’t getting me anywhere these days. Anyway, so he was friendly, but dismissed me much too soon. I didn’t come on to him or anything, but he still escaped back to his room. He said he had to check in with his sister.”

  Bella tapped her finger against her wine glass. “Well, maybe he’s shy.”

  “I know he is. Even when the band gets interviewed, I’ve never heard him say more than a few words. He lets the others speak, mainly Bex and Johnny. He’s well known for being the quietest rock drummer on the stage. He rocks the hell out of that drum kit, but he rarely engages the audience. Then again, when he does that drum solo . . .”

  “April Knight, you act like a high school girl with a crush. It’s so cute to see.”

  I shrugged. “I can’t wait to see them play tomorrow. I get to go to rehearsal before the show and see them do all my favorite songs. This is a dream come true. How did I get this to happen?”

  “You had an idea and your dad ran with it. Much like everything else you do, April. Your father loves and respects you.”

  “Hmph. He’d love and respect me more if I was ‘Dr. Knight’ like him.”

  “Don’t,” Bella said. “You know he’s proud of you. You’ve only worked for Children’s Services for five years, and you’re already a supervisor.”

  “Yeah, but I’ll still never make even a fraction of what he does. You know that’s what he equates success to.”

  “Not true. I hear the way he talks about you. It may not have been the career he wanted you to choose, but he can’t deny the impact you have on the families. Plus, how can he be disappointed for your reasons behind your career? He’s the one who saved your mom from her past.”

  It was true. In that respect, I knew my dad was proud of what I did. The job was hard. There were days I’d go into my office and shut the door to sob at what I’d seen. Children who were abused and neglected by the people that were supposed to love and care for them would never get easier to see. But it was the other side, the ones who found forever families and had huge grins on their faces when they’d meet their new parents. That was what kept me doing this.

  My mom didn’t remember her parents. She’d been told over the years they’d abandoned her at a church, never to be heard from again. She’d been part of the system since she was five years old and, for some reason, had never been adopted. She had lived in over twenty foster homes in her thirteen years in the system, several of those being group homes. When she got out at the age of eighteen, the state essentially dumped her and said, “Have a nice life.” She’d turned to what any young kid on their own would turn to—surviving.

  My dad was a resident at the same hospital my mom had been taken to. When she’d been dropped off, she was half dead and addicted to heroin, but he’d seen something in her. Over the two weeks she’d stayed there, he visited her every day. By the time she was better and on her way to a rehab facility to get clean, he’d fallen for her, despite every indication it wasn’t a good idea. Months later, she’d come back to the same hospital, healthy and clean, to find the doctor she called her “Guardian Angel.” They hadn’t been apart since.

  “I just want to find someone to love me the way my dad loves my mom,” I admitted, downing the rest of my wine.

  “You will.” Bella patted my back. “But I doubt you’ll find him having a one-night stand with a quiet drummer of a rock band.”

  Beau

  I WAITED FOR Johnny and Bex to finish the riff that intro’d my drum solo, tapping my toes on the ground. My drumsticks were poised and ready to strike the cymbals. Nervous bubbles erupted in my stomach, just like every time I prepared to do my solo. I loved every second of doing this. It was the only time I’d willingly get into the spotlight. I twisted my neck, stretching my shoulder muscles.

  My mind raced a thousand miles an hour, and I needed to quiet it. Natalie had eyed me when I came out for rehearsal. She could always read when my head wasn’t where it was supposed to be. She hadn’t said a word, but I knew she was watching. I’d taken my meds as usual, but there was something else keeping my head out of it today. Maybe it was the lack of sleep I’d had last night or the release I needed that I refused to allow myself to have. I’d tossed and turned all night, the only sleep I’d gotten filled with twisted-up dreams of my dad’s dead body, my mom’s cold eyes when she left me, and a dark haired beauty with eyes that seemed to peer right through me.

  Johnny and Bex hit their last note, my cue to begin. My fingers gripped the wooden sticks, pounding out the drum solo with more force than usual. I crashed into the cymbals and then the snare, sweat breaking out on my face and back. Yes. I needed it. I pounded harder, drowning out the voices echoing in my head and the thoughts that came with them. My muscles flexed and my head bobbed, my eyes closing as I finished the solo without looking. It was as second nature as breathing. I blocked out Tanner to my left and Johnny and Bex in front. I blocked out the empty seats in front of us and Natalie standing off to the side and just pounded, my head finally clearing as I struck the final cymbal to complete my solo.

  “Fuck!” Johnny said. “That was epic, Beau! You’re a machine! Do that tonight and you’ll have all the pussy you want!”r />
  Bex smacked him. “He can get whatever pussy he wants anyway.” She laughed. “That doesn’t mean he takes it.”

  Johnny shrugged. “You should. All you need is to get some Grade A . . .”

  He didn’t get to finish his sentence because Dr. Knight and April stepped on the stage with Natalie. My eyes snapped right to April, who wore a pair of dress pants and a button-down blouse. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail at the nape of her neck, and her makeup was flawless. I stayed behind my drums, hoping she’d ignore me and flirt with Tanner or something. She threw me off, and I didn’t know why. It wasn’t like other women hadn’t hit on me over the years. That was what she was doing, right? She’d hit on me. She’d wanted something from me. She was barking up the wrong tree. She didn’t want anything to do with me.

  Or, at least, she wouldn’t once she found out who I was.

  “They came to watch the rehearsal,” Natalie announced. “Just ignore us and keep practicing. Beau, that was incredible. Good job, bro.” I didn’t miss the way Nat regarded me for just a second too long. I was still on her radar, but I was okay now. All I needed was to beat the shit out of the drums, and all was right in my world again. Add that I’d get to do it for a few hours today, and I’d be more than okay.

  “I caught the end of that,” April said, staring directly at me. I tapped the drumsticks on my legs, the need to play again almost consuming me. “You’re so talented, Beau.”

  I nodded but didn’t respond. I had no words that would make any sense to her. She needed to focus on someone else because I wasn’t the man for her. I wasn’t the man for anyone.

  “I’m just going to sit and listen if that’s okay,” April said, turning to Johnny and Bex. Tanner eyed her, just like I knew he would.

  “You can sit right here in front of me and let me play to you.” Tanner turned on his charm. He knew she was Camryn’s friend, but that didn’t stop him. He’d probably try to have them both at the same time. Sometimes I envied him. He had no problems getting what he wanted and then moving on, and girls were okay with it. He never seemed to have a care in the world. Hell, why would he? He’d had the perfect life.