Star

by Jennifer Li Shotz

  “I want to keep volunteering at the shelter,” he said quietly. He was afraid his parents were going to tell him no again. They were silent for a moment, as if they were having a wordless conversation with each other before responding.

  “You need to get your homework done,” his dad finally said.

  Julian fought a smile. That wasn’t a no.

  “I will,” Julian promised. “I can go to the shelter after school and on weekends and still do homework after dinner.”

  He pictured Star’s light blue eyes following him as he left the kennel earlier that day. They had sat quietly for a long time, with just the kennel door between them. All the noise of the shelter and the stress of his life had seemed to fade into the background. When he stood up to go, she got to her feet and watched him walk away. Star needed his help.

  His mom shot his dad a meaningful look, her eyebrows raised. “Mr. Walter did say his son has been volunteering at the shelter, and it’s been good for him.”

  Julian had no idea what Bryan had to do with anything, but if the principal thought volunteering was a good idea, his parents had to agree.

  His dad shrugged. “If it doesn’t get in the way of your schoolwork, I don’t see why not.”

  His mom turned back to Julian. “Okay. We’ll give it a test run. But you have to stay on top of your homework. And if you can prove that you’re ready for this much responsibility, maybe—maybe—we’ll think about the dog.”

  Julian wanted to leap out of his chair, pump his fist in the air, and let out a happy shout. They hadn’t said no!

  But he knew his parents might not think he was responsible if he got so excited. He stayed as cool as could be and hugged his mom, smiling so big that his cheeks hurt. “Thank you, guys!”

  She hugged him back. “No promises. But we’ll think about it.”

  Julian would work harder than he ever had in his life. He’d do whatever it took to bring Star home.

  ★ Chapter 5 ★

  * * *

  * * *

  Julian’s heart was racing as he pedaled his bike down the long road leading to the animal shelter. He could still barely believe that he’d convinced his parents to let him come back on his own. “I’m impressed,” his mom had said over their bowls of oatmeal and bananas that morning. “You must really be serious about taking on more responsibility if you want to volunteer.”

  Julian hadn’t corrected her. He was serious about being more responsible. But he wasn’t interested in just washing dog bowls and hosing down cages. And he definitely wasn’t stoked to be spending all his free time with Bryan.

  The truth was, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Star and that look in her eyes—as if she just wanted someone to understand her. He couldn’t stop thinking about the birthday tag on her collar, and how much Mrs. Winderhouser must have loved her. His heart broke to think about how Star must miss the old lady and the house full of treasures they shared.

  The low beige building of the shelter appeared on the horizon, and Julian’s stomach began to churn with worry. What if Star was different from what he thought she was? He remembered how he thought he loved frozen pizza, but when he tried it after not having it for a long time, it tasted like salty cardboard. Or worse, what if she didn’t remember him and she cowered in the corner of her kennel forever?

  He hopped off his bike before it rolled to a stop and wheeled it around to the side of the building. The back entrance was propped open by the hose. Julian knew he should probably go through the front door to tell Ms. Khan that he’d come back to volunteer. But if she put him to work right away, it might be hours before he saw Star. He couldn’t wait that long. He would just let Star know he’d come back for her, and then he’d find Ms. Khan. Forcing himself not to run, he practically stumbled through the kennel door and went straight to Star’s cage.

  His face broke into a huge grin. “Hey there, Star.”

  She stood near the front of her kennel, watching him, her head cocked. It was almost as if she’d been waiting. She couldn’t have heard him coming, though. Maybe she’d felt the vibrations through the floor, or maybe she’d smelled him, especially with the trickle of sweat running down his back from bicycling so fast. Julian wondered just how strong a dog’s sense of smell was. He bet that Bryan would know the answer.

  Julian’s mind was suddenly dancing in a million different directions at once. It was as if he’d been saving up things to say to Star, and every thought was clamoring to get out at the same time. He knelt in front of her cage and began babbling, even though she couldn’t hear his voice. He gestured as he told her about himself and his family and how he’d wanted a dog for so long. Her bright eyes followed his hands, occasionally glancing back at his face. He noticed that if he made too big a movement, she flinched, so he was careful to keep his gestures small.

  Finally Julian’s thoughts slowed to a trickle. He exhaled, his heart rate returning to normal. He shifted so he was sitting in front of her kennel, and he put his hand against the door the way he had the day before. Star inched toward him. She was still cautious, but she didn’t hesitate as much as she had yesterday. When she was almost at the kennel door, she stretched out her muzzle. He felt her tongue tickle his palm, as quick and light as a moth fluttering against his skin. Julian was careful to stay still so he wouldn’t scare her, but his chest nearly burst with happiness and hope.

  He lowered his head so that he was nearly at eye level with her. Star tilted her snout toward his face, her nose working overtime. She was probably smelling the oatmeal he’d had for breakfast. His grandpa told him that dogs could also smell if you were afraid or nervous or excited. Maybe Star’s nose was telling her everything about him. When she’d gotten all the information she needed, she moved toward his hand again. Julian waited for another one of her gentle licks.

  Then Star startled, scuttling back to the corner of her cage and staring past him with wide eyes. Julian whipped around to find Ms. Khan standing behind him. She tipped her head toward the door. With a glance at Star and a silent promise that he’d be back, Julian followed Ms. Khan past the barking dogs and into the quieter hallway.

  She wasn’t smiling like she had been the day before. “How did you get in here, Julian? I didn’t see you come in the front door.”

  Julian opened his mouth, then snapped it shut. If Bryan had left the back door open when he was cleaning cages, Julian didn’t want to get him into trouble.

  Ms. Khan waved a hand. “It doesn’t matter. What are you doing here? Did you forget something yesterday?”

  “I was hoping I could volunteer again,” Julian said.

  “You loved detention that much?” Ms. Khan arched an eyebrow. “Better not tell Principal Walter.”

  “It was a lot better than writing an essay,” Julian said.

  Ms. Khan laughed. “I can understand that. I’m glad you wanted to come back. But you can’t just go wandering around the kennels without checking in with me first, okay?”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Julian’s stomach knotted up. He was afraid he’d be told he couldn’t spend any more time with Star. “I didn’t have my fingers in her kennel. I swear.”

  “I know. I saw.” Ms. Khan looked at him thoughtfully.

  Julian tried not to squirm under her gaze. “So, can I become a volunteer?”

  “We have rules for our volunteers.” She held up her hand, ticking off each rule on a different finger. “Always check in with me at the beginning and end of your shift. Never open a cage unless you’ve been approved to work with that animal. Stay alert, and trust your gut. Dress appropriately. No sandals or shorts allowed. And if you see a mess, clean it up. You got all that?”

  Julian nodded. “I think so.”

  He followed Ms. Khan to the kitchen. She pointed to a poster behind the door. “If you ever forget, the ground rules are listed right here. Or you could just ask Bryan.”

  “Got it.” Julian repeated the rules in his head so he would know them by heart. He was glad she’
d told him what they were instead of making him read them first.

  “Great.” Ms. Khan rubbed her hands together. “If you’re ready to get started, I have just the thing for you.”

  Julian had a sneaking suspicion that he’d be stuck washing towers of dirty dog bowls again. He’d peeked into the kitchen on his way to Star’s cage, and the piles were just as high as yesterday, as if he’d never been there. But he had to do whatever it took, even if it meant starting with the worst jobs. He stood straighter. “I’ll do anything.”

  Ms. Khan glanced down the hallway toward the kennels. “You went back to visit Star, huh?”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t check in with you first,” Julian blurted. “I just really like her and wanted to say hi. Then I was going to come find you. I swear.”

  Ms. Khan waved away his apology. “I haven’t seen her get that close to anyone since she got here. Not even me, and I feed her twice a day. You two might have a real connection.”

  “You really think so?” Julian’s pulse raced. If Ms. Khan saw the connection, then it hadn’t just been his imagination.

  “I do,” Ms. Khan said. “And that means you might be able to help her in a way no one else can.”

  Julian flushed with pride. “She seems like a really cool dog. I mean, she’s so scared, but there’s something else underneath that.”

  Ms. Khan smiled and furrowed her brow at the same time. “I think so, too. But I can’t seem to get through to her. That’s why I have a special assignment for you. I want you to help me work with Star so she gets comfortable enough to be around people.”

  Julian felt like he might break into a goofy dance. “I can do that!”

  This was his chance. He could help Star and show his parents that he was capable of taking on a special assignment. If he did a good job training the dog, maybe his parents would be convinced that he was responsible enough to keep her.

  “I’ll go get Star from her kennel and meet you in the socialization room. She’ll be scared, so don’t try to approach her. Just let her get used to being in a room with you, and I’ll talk you through the rest.” Ms. Khan waited for his nod, then took a leash from a hook on the wall and headed toward the kennel.

  Julian wished he could be there to see Star come out of her cage, but he knew he had to follow instructions. He weaved his way through the hallways, following the map in his head to the socialization room. He remembered it from his tour of the shelter.

  Bryan was already in there, rearranging the chairs.

  The socialization room was almost as big as Julian’s bedroom. It had five metal folding chairs along one wall and a dog bed and basket of toys in the corner. Bryan had told him that volunteers and staff used this room to hang out with dogs who were too scared to go outside, or for training and playtime when the weather was freezing in the winter. It was also used as another meet-and-greet room for people to visit with animals they might want to adopt, so they could get to know them outside of the cages. A door at the far end of the room opened into a small office, where Ms. Khan could complete adoption paperwork while families played with the dog or cat they’d fallen in love with.

  “Hi,” Julian said with an awkward wave.

  “Hi.”

  “What are you doing here?” Julian asked.

  “I heard Ms. Khan talking to you and thought I’d help.” Bryan picked up a chair and carried it to the opposite side of the room. “We should spread out these chairs so Star doesn’t feel like we’re crowding her.”

  Julian moved a chair to the corner by the dog bed. Bryan pointed a few feet away. “Leave room around the dog bed in case Star wants to make that her space. We want her to feel safe.” Julian followed Bryan’s directions. It made sense. When the chairs were all spread out, Bryan put a handful of crumbled dog treats in Julian’s palm. “You’ll need these.”

  Before Julian could respond, the door opened and Star pulled Ms. Khan into the room. The dog’s eyes were wide and terrified. She jerked at the end of the leash like a car fishtailing on ice. Julian’s stomach tightened. Star was so upset, and there was nothing he could do about it. Ms. Khan talked softly to the dog, but it was clear that Star just wanted to get away.

  “She’s never been on a leash,” Ms. Khan reminded the boys. “We’re working on it, but it’s hard when she’s so scared of everyone. I’m going to go sit down, but you stay on that side of the room until I tell you.”

  Julian and Bryan nodded, frozen in place near the dog bed. Star kept pulling and flailing at the end of the leash until Ms. Khan sat down in one of the chairs. Then Star stood as far as she could from Ms. Khan, panting hard.

  “Okay, Julian,” Ms. Khan said, never taking her eyes off Star. “What was rule number three?”

  He remembered right away. “Stay alert, and trust your gut,” Julian recited.

  “Good,” Ms. Khan said. “Now remember—if you sense that Star is uncomfortable, back up. We’re going to start slow. Walk toward us, but stop about ten feet away so she can decide if she wants to get closer.”

  Julian walked so slowly, it felt unnatural, almost as if he were moving through pudding. Star whipped around to face him. She seemed surprised to see him, like she’d been too freaked out earlier to notice that he was in the room. She watched him approach, the tips of her ears twitching. When he was still several feet away, she shot off in the opposite direction, bumping into one of the empty chairs, sending it clattering against the wall.

  “Shoot. I should’ve put the extra chairs in the office,” Bryan said from the other side of the room.

  Julian ignored him and kept his attention on Star. She cowered at the end of her leash, her whole body trembling and her tail tucked between her legs.

  “It’s okay.” Julian held out his hand and took a slow step closer. Star’s paws scrabbled against the floor as she tried to get farther away. At least she wasn’t growling, but Julian could see that she was terrified.

  He backed up and tried not to look directly at her. Star panted, her eyes wild. But as long as Julian didn’t move, she stayed put. Julian could feel her fear in his bones. It was hard not to be upset at how scared she was, and part of him wanted to give up. This was going to be much harder than he thought.

  But Ms. Khan gave him an encouraging smile. “That was good instinct. Give her a minute to calm down. This will take some time.”

  Julian stood there, uncertain what to do next.

  “Try crouching down,” Bryan said softly. “Don’t lean over, just kind of squat down so you’re more on her level.”

  Julian glanced at Ms. Khan. She nodded, so he slowly lowered himself.

  Bryan kept talking. “People loom over dogs all the time. But we’d be uncomfortable if giants came and stood over us, too!”

  To Julian’s surprise, it seemed to work. The wild look faded from Star’s eyes, and her breathing slowed. He began to feel the tension leave his muscles, too.

  He wished he could shrink himself down until he and Star were the same size, so she wouldn’t ever have to be afraid of him. He glanced over his shoulder at Bryan. “What next?”

  “Have you tried tossing treats to her?” Bryan asked. “Even if she won’t take them from your hand, she’ll start to think of you as the treat machine.”

  Julian took a small piece beef jerky from the handful of treats Bryan had given him. He gently lobbed it toward Star. It landed by her left paw. She sniffed it, but didn’t pick it up.

  Julian wished she could tell him what she wanted. “Why isn’t she eating it?” He’d seen the other dogs scarf up these treats, but maybe Star didn’t like beef jerky.

  “She’s just not ready to eat in front of people yet,” Ms. Khan said.

  “But she’ll still associate you with the treat,” Bryan added.

  The three of them waited. Star sniffed her right paw, as if she didn’t even see the treat on her left. She yawned and looked away, like none of them were in the room. Julian didn’t know how Bryan and Ms. Khan could be so patient when nothing
was happening. He wanted to try a different treat, or at least talk to her. He thought maybe Bryan had another good suggestion, but he and Ms. Khan were just sitting there like statues.

  Julian forced himself to follow their lead. Still squatting at Star’s level, he took a couple of slow frog steps backwards to give her more space. Then he sat on the floor and stretched out his legs. He looked up at Ms. Khan, and just as he did, Bryan let out a quiet squeal.

  “Look! She’s eating the treat!” Bryan said.

  Julian’s head shot around to look at Star. Sure enough, she was chewing. “Try giving her another one now that you’re farther away,” Bryan said.

  Julian tossed another treat. This time, Star kept an eye on him as she gobbled it up. She even took a tiny step closer to him, and Ms. Khan loosened her grip on the leash to give Star some slack. It wasn’t much, but it felt like they’d made real progress. And it wouldn’t have happened without Bryan’s advice.

  “That’s amazing,” Ms. Khan whispered. “I haven’t seen her do this for anyone else.”

  Julian tossed Star a few more treats, and she ate all of them. He was grinning from ear to ear, but he tried to remain as calm as he could so he wouldn’t spook Star—or Bryan and Ms. Khan, for that matter.

  “That’s enough for now,” Ms. Khan said, clearly pleased with the results of their work. “We should end on a high note so Star can feel positive about what she did today. You boys head out first, then I’ll get her back to her kennel.”

  With one quick look back over his shoulder, Julian followed Bryan out of the room. He didn’t want to see Star panic on the leash again.

  They headed out the side door of the shelter and into a small courtyard. Bryan sank onto a stone bench that was surrounded by gold and red fallen leaves. He raked his hands through his curly hair, saying, “That was so cool. I really didn’t think she’d ever come around.”

  “You seem to know a lot about dogs,” Julian said.