Nanny Behaving Badly

by Judy Jarvie

  Sensibility had returned at too fast a pace, shattering the unveiled private Maddie he wasn’t ready to lose yet.

  ‘Last night,’ he said, watched her eyes drift away, ‘I’ve no regrets and I want you to be sure of that. My private life won’t short-change Josh. This won’t mess up the mix. It doesn’t change anything.’

  She nodded slowly but her fingers were still bunched. ‘Good to hear.’

  ‘Feisty Maddie, where are you?’

  ‘It’s a lot to take in. I guess it’s just light of day syndrome.’

  He sat back in bed and ventured, ‘I understand your reservations about private lives staying that way, so I’m not asking you to sleep in my bed when Josh comes back. We’re cool, we’ll take things slow and easy.’

  Maddie listened intently. ‘Don’t get me wrong, it’s not because last night wasn’t great. It was, I just don’t want risks that go wrong. I’m trying to stay level-headed.’ Maddie reached over for the oversized towelling robe at the end of the bed. ‘Can I wear this?’

  In seconds she had pulled it on – thick fabric, more distance between them.

  ‘I’m not crazy about this rush to escape me,’ he said, tweaking the edges of the robe’s lapels.

  ‘Can I go and make us breakfast?’

  And before he knew it she’d be showering and messing up his plans for the day.

  Lyle stared hard into her eyes as she tried to evade him. ‘Listen. You’ll have free time; we’ll get your replacement au pair lined up. There’ll be other opportunities. Though we’re still technically alone for the rest of the day. Josh won’t be back until evening, and I’m great at warming-up duty.’

  ‘You warm me up just by looking at me, Lyle.’

  His tone became earnest. ‘You’ve set the pace, slow and steady.’

  She shrugged her shoulder, and with one deft move Lyle slipped the robe open. He pinned her before cupping her face, kissing her, then lowering her back against his bed. Lyle lowered his lips to the glossy skin of her cleavage. How could he possibly resist her?

  ‘What’ll it be? Swim, shower, or breakfast in bed? My choice would be bed without the breakfast.’

  She slanted her eyes, and Lyle was hard in an instant – feeling her close, smelling her, in his bed. He wanted Maddie like he’d never wanted any woman. She bit her lip, driving him crazy. Nearby he glimpsed her fetching lacy lingerie scrap thrown on his bedroom rug.

  He had to have her or he’d implode.

  ‘Remind me where we left things?’

  ‘Slow down, rally guy. Always keen for speed.’ Maddie pushed him onto his back, then slid across to straddle him. ‘My wild side wants to play.’

  ‘My Maverick Maddie­­ – ’ Lyle gave a sharp moan as his eyes closed.

  His conscience screamed slow – but his body wasn’t listening.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Josh’s return saw some normality return to Acorn Lodge – and progress.

  A new au pair, Lilia, had been signed at Rhombus Recruitment and after interviews Lyle booked her up. Maddie found herself busy managing The Grassmarket Café, which Lyle had asked her to take charge of. She was also tied up doing handovers but Lilia proved eager and was soon ready to take over nanny duty.

  Lyle kept his promise to Maddie. Slow and steady. Obeying rules.

  So she found him cooking dinner, behaving impeccably. Sneaking his arm around her, but only when they were solo. Snuggling up and wrapping her in his embrace only when Josh was in bed. Indulging in ardent yet restrained kisses – but those had her wishing she hadn’t set such strict terms. It would be so easy to respond and follow him upstairs to his bedroom. Resistance was killing her. Slowly and painfully.

  They went out for Thai food banquets when he learned how much she adored them. He took her beachcombing with Josh, something she’d done in Maine as a kid with her own mom. Armed with gum books, fishing nets and tin buckets for the spoils, their beach adventures caused forgotten memories to resurface. She should feel glad about elements of her past, not put fences around sharp hurts.

  On the beach, while Josh examined his treasures, Lyle tucked her windblown hair behind her ear. ‘It’s never been like this before. I can’t be with you enough.’

  ‘Careful, Lyle. Josh might get confused and ask questions.’

  ‘How can I hold back when it hurts? Trust me, Maddie.’

  ‘When Lilia came, I even wondered if you employed her just so we could sneak away.’

  Hurt briefly danced in Lyle’s eyes, then he glanced away to the breakers against the shore. ‘You set the rules and I’ve obeyed them, haven’t I? We’ve only snuck away once.’

  Maddie slanted her eyes to tease him. ‘Technically you broke them on café launch night.’

  ‘Irresistible forces.’

  ‘You’re certainly one of those.’

  ‘I should drag you to a sand dune now to prove it.’ His face grew earnest and concerned. ‘Am I pushing? I want a relationship. I’m itching for your night off so I can make love to you as soon as I get through your door. I’ve booked my mother as babysitter specially, I’m not going to deny it.’

  Maddie trailed a finger around his ear. ‘As long as we know Josh shouldn’t have to compete for your time.’

  ‘Never. Solo time with you is my favourite ‘good behaviour’ perk. Trust me to gauge the pace.’

  She smiled, loving the way the forceful wind and salt scent only added to his appeal: a strong adventurer, a man of action. Her own Scottish warrior. ‘We have lots of time to get it right.’

  ‘Trust me to show you’re what I want.’

  But for Maddie Adams trust had a scalpel’s edge. Even though Lyle was ably sweeping her off her feet and burrowing into her heart, the tender areas of her heart wouldn’t fix overnight.

  Maddie shoved deep the information contained in her father’s latest letter; an offer to come and meet her. She wouldn’t give in to his inducements. Why go over old roads littered with broken glass?

  Lyle looked down at her with glittering eyes that told of wicked promise.

  ‘Of course, if you change your mind and get lost in the night on the way back to your room, I’ll be the one in the darkness, throwing back the duvet. Just in case it crosses your mind.’

  She bit her lip. ‘Now, rally guy. Cool those jets.’

  Tempting, sure. But not practical yet. Maddie fake-cuffed Lyle and ran full tilt for him to chase her. Running in play. Running in flirtation. Running from how to handle their future too.

  When it came to his building blocks, Josh loved empire building. Like father, like son. In fact, Lyle relished their castle-building games just as much as Josh. He’d managed to build an impressive fortress himself on the hearthrug. Well, where was the point in half-hearted play?

  Lyle loved to watch Josh concentrate, sticking out his tongue when battling with a turret. It made his heart swell with affection. Needless to say, Lyle had huge crates of blocks in every size, shape and colour possible to indulge his son.

  Lyle checked his watch and began counting down to when he and Maddie could snatch time alone later. She’d been on the phone to Paula for almost an hour – he was itching to get her back to himself.

  ‘One more castle,’ he told Josh, ‘and then it’s bathroom, PJ’s, bed.’

  ‘Do we have to finish so soon?’

  Lyle reached over to stroke his mop of curls. Josh passed him another turret which Lyle attempted to add to his tower – causing the walls to wobble and crash.

  ‘It’s okay,’ said Josh, stroking his hand. ‘I’ll help you build it up again. That’s what friends do; they help each other. We’ll make it a pizza place like Maddie’s Uncle Marco’s. Like I’m going to have when I work as a pizza chef.’

  Lyle stared at his son.The restaurant visit had had a big impact.

  Plus, he was genuinely bowled over by his grasp on key concepts.

  He told him. ‘That’s a great idea, Joshy.’

  Maybe he should talk to Marco? It was
clear that Maddie rated her uncle’s welfare highly, and Marco seemed intrinsically linked to her future and her flat. Should he find out more?

  Lyle bent over to kiss his son’s cheek.

  ‘C’mon, pizza professor. Your dad needs building lessons from an expert.’

  With a determined grin, Josh led the way.

  Maddie realised it was Lyle’s fault.

  His fault completely. He was a scurrilous rogue and he deserved to be reprimanded for his misdeeds. He was the one who had put the fantasy vision in her head. Now it wouldn’t budge.

  For example, scooting around the house in her nightshirt and accidentally on purpose finding his big bedroom door. The hidden delights inside had her jittery, and that was just at the thought. Knowing that he was there, lying big and alive and exciting as heck in that emperor’s regal-sized bed was a mind hex. Maddie stifled a groan of pure frustration.

  Bad Lyle. Naughty Maddie.

  It was crazy to lie there in a comfortless bed, solo.

  She tossed and turned, and could think of little else. Eventually, with a huff of frustration, she admitted that a hot drink might make her sleepy. Wrapped in her robe, she shuffled to the kitchen, wishing her brain and hormones hadn’t turned renegade.

  The kettle shook as it came to the boil. A dark figure appeared in the doorway. Lyle. Barely dressed for decency.

  ‘Quite the nocturnal master chef, aren’t you?’ he observed.

  ‘It’s only tea. Want one?’

  ‘Do you often wander about in the dead of night? I should come downstairs more often.’ Lyle slipped his hands around her waist then laid his forehead gently against hers. Letting out a low groan that made her inwardly whimper back. ‘I couldn’t sleep either. This is killing me.’

  She bit her lip. ‘Poor Lyle.’

  ‘The insanity pact is driving me nuts.’

  ‘What’s so hard?’

  ‘I am.’ Lyle took her hand and showed her. He pulled aside her robe and cami for easy access to her breasts. He smoothed and caressed her skin, dipped to her midriff. His eyes burned into hers as his fingers returned to circle her stiffening nipples. He’d got her to boil faster than the kettle.

  ‘Lyle …’

  ‘So I’m bad. Shoot me. I’m a red-blooded man and I’m crazy about you. Hanging offence?’

  ‘Oh, I’m sure I could think up much worse than hanging.’

  Lyle slid his hands up her silky cami vest to unhook the buttons. He dipped inside to stroke one nipple. ‘Who needs sleep anyhow? When there are hours to kill ‘til morning.’

  ‘What are you doing?’

  ‘Demonstrating what you’re missing by evading the lure of my bed.’

  Lyle gently dusted her throat with hungry kisses, then his tongue dipped between her lips. His mouth was fierce and ravenous. Maddie moaned as his fingers burned a fiery path down her body and she succumbed willingly. Why fight something this good?

  Lyle yanked the robe down from her arms to land on the tiles. He kicked it away as his kiss made rousing demands and plundered her restraint. His mouth bewitched her. His fervour sent thrills multiplying and bubbling through her veins.

  He pulled her vest top over her head then cupped both naked breasts. He worked the tips of her nipples with deft fingers. His touch was soft then sparing just to drive her wild. He circled the outer areola and teased the straining peak. He moaned encouragements against her cheek as he caressed her.

  Lyle stopped to slide firm hands inside her silky shorts and pushed them down. The silk skittered past her knees and Maddie kicked them away. Lyle discarded his T-shirt and removed his shorts.

  In seconds he moved between her legs – hard, hot and readied. His hands moulded her breasts as his head swooped to taste them. She rocked her head back as he suckled with a sinful tongue. His teeth traced exquisite torture.

  ‘I need you now,’ she demanded.

  ‘On my wavelength, honey?’

  ‘You’re a master negotiator.’

  The straining tip of his manhood promised heaven at the apex of her thighs and made her move with frustration. She parted her legs to express her need. Wanting more, much more. She reached eager fingers down to slip around his penis but Lyle grasped her wrist. With a muffled curse he cupped her buttocks then lifted her flush against him.

  ‘Let’s go.’

  Maddie clasped him with her legs as he carried her. ‘Where?’

  ‘Bathroom ... Pool’s too far.’

  Lyle strode to the shower room – a large wet room, easily big enough for two. Still holding her aloft, he started the jets. He moved her against the smooth cool tiles, holding her pinned as if weightless. He entered her in one slow, steady move. Easing, then going deep as water soaked them in a sensory, wild rush.

  Maddie widened and relaxed her muscles. His thrusts built as she wrapped him tight to take him to the hilt. Every pressure sent her higher.

  She voiced her pleasure as every sense spiralled at her centre. The pace rose. Breathing hard into each other’s mouths, he filled her stroke after stroke.

  Nothing had ever been this good, this fierce. His mindless desire unmasked thrilled her as much as his body did.

  At last, climax came and they revelled in its power, entwined and joined. Maddie cried his name as her limbs shook.

  ‘I need you. Like this, every night. In bed … our bed,’ Lyle breathed as he scooped her spent body against him. ‘No more half measures.’

  Perhaps it was the words or the look on his face? But sudden realisation left her reeling.

  ‘Lyle. No condom.’

  There had been no protection. And neither of them had stopped to adopt good sense.

  He said nothing.

  Crazed, hot sex had turned into mindless foolishness.

  His expression was matter-of-fact but he dipped his head to kiss her mouth.

  ‘You make me helpless to resist you. I’m sorry.’ Lyle looked down through the shower sprays and his eyes were dark as molten glass. ‘Maddie, I want you, you make me crazy.’

  She couldn’t talk while her brain was still scudding with the idiocy of what they’d done. She’d had the best sex of her life but at a price.

  ‘We should’ve considered safety, Lyle.’

  ‘I don’t want safe. I want you.’

  ‘And to turn our lives upside down?’

  For minutes they clung as water coursed over them. When Maddie raised her eyes, Lyle shook his head, then he switched off the water with a sense of disquiet.

  Would Lyle always push for more?

  Could she risk her heart on a man who ignored consequences while her trust had barely healed? They’d pushed Josh from the picture, blind to all but their hunger. No birth control. No caution. Impulse-fuelled abandon.

  Maddie watched as Lyle picked up strewn nightwear in silence. Was his brain punctured too? If so, he didn’t voice it.

  ‘Busy day tomorrow. Best get some sleep,’ he stated.

  She bit her lip completely freaked by the realisation that she could share her all physically. But some confidences could not be broached.

  ‘Get some rest, sweetheart.’ Lyle wrapped a towel around her shoulders then switched off the light.

  He turned his back on their oblivion trip as they returned to separate beds.

  ‘Can I draw a picture for Mummy?’ Josh had determination in his gaze and a clutch of crayons in his hands.

  The shocker question that had his mind whirring and his heart nursing the wound. Today there was something in his son's face he didn't recognise. An awkward lowering of his eyes.

  Lyle feigned casual and placed his hands on the table and studied the blank page. ‘Sure, what kind of picture?’

  Josh thought for a moment then pursed rosy lips. ‘I like trains and fire engines but I wanted to draw something more special.’

  ‘If you want to draw a fire truck, I know she'd love it. She’s in heaven now and she knows all the things you like.’

  Josh picked up his sheet of stiff pa
per. ‘I want to draw Maddie. So Mummy knows you’ve found someone you like.’

  Lyle’s shock had him floored but he controlled his reaction. Needle-sharp reprimands inflicted by his guilt stabbed his brain. He tried to keep his thoughts tethered and under control. ‘Is that worrying you, kiddo?’

  ‘Nope. I just saw you on the beach. You give Maddie lots of hugs.’

  Anger stoked deep in the old rusty well of Lyle’s past regrets.

  ‘Friends can give other friends hugs. I used to hug your mummy. We loved each other lots. We always loved you.’

  Had he pushed his foot to the floor too soon? Pushed things to the point where he’d obliterated caution?

  A bucket of freezing guilt doused the buzz of his recent elation. But he was a flesh and blood man with needs. Why should he repress and avoid?

  Because it's confusing the hell out of your son.

  He smarted at the injustice, knowing that all this time he had to keep from Josh the jigsaw piece that Mum’s infidelity had caused the worst hurts.

  Lyle looked at the stick woman picture emerging: Maddie in blue crayon. Lyle looking as uptight as any stickman could. Lyle cursed his lack of focus on Josh’s needs and his own primitive emotional crayon drawings in dealing with his family life.

  Did Josh think he was getting a new mummy?

  ‘You like Maddie, don’t you, champ?’ asked Lyle. ‘We should both be happy that we’ve found such a special new friend.’

  Maddie and Becca were polar opposites. Reconciled by the sky-high hopes of one small boy.

  Lyle hunkered low beside his son’s chair to gently give him a ‘guys’ hug’.

  ‘That’s one great picture, champ. I care for Maddie because she looks after you well – so hugs are allowed. You’ll always be your Mummy’s special boy. You'll always be my champion son.’

  Lyle suspected he'd just lost his hero dad status. Even in death Becca managed to strip his confidence. Two steps forward, five steps reverse. Emotional baby steps, taken in ill-fitting shoes.