Finding Heart (Colorado Veterans Book 2)

by Tiffani Lynn

  Dee’s eyebrows draw down, the question obvious in her eyes. “A silver necklace. It had a silver heart-shaped locket attached,” I tell the cop in a quiet voice.

  Dee gasps and nods rapidly, “Oh God, the shoebox! Oh, honey, I’m so sorry.” I choke back a sob and shake my head fast, trying to clear the urge to break down. If I start again I won’t stop and I’m tired of appearing weak. She clamps her lips shut.

  The cop looks at us and instructs, “I recommend you don’t stay here until the landlord gets the locks fixed. Call me if you think of anything else.” Then he exits, leaving us with Jase and Quinn. Quinn takes the moment to introduce herself and Jase. Dee’s eyes widen for a second when she recognizes the name, but other than that she doesn’t respond.

  Quinn turns to me, “Do you have somewhere to stay?”

  Again, Dee answers. “We’ll work it out. Between her tips and mine we’ll be fine.”

  Before she can say more I interrupt, dreading having to tell her the latest news. “Dee, I’ve got enough for tonight and maybe tomorrow night, but I lost my job today.” She looks back to me and I lift my chin and point so she can see the stitches.

  “Shit. What the hell! Is this why they came home with you?”

  “Kinda. It’s a long story, but the end is me losing my job.”

  “Damn it.”

  “Yeah, I’m sorry.”

  Dee shakes her head like she’s disappointed in me. To be fair, she’s put up with a lot of irresponsible shit from me over the years. Even if this isn’t my fault, the 100 other things that came up over time are.

  “It’s okay. We’ll work it out. We always do,” she repeats after a deep sigh.

  Quinn stares at a quiet Jase for several long seconds before she finally looks back at us and speaks up, “I’ve got somewhere you can stay for a few days. We’ve got an extra room. I mean, you’ll have to share, but it’s nice and clean. If my husband and two kids don’t bother you, it should work for short term.”

  “No way. We aren’t intruding on your family. You’ve been kind enough to me. We’ll be fine. Besides, Dee can stay with her boyfriend. I’ll work something out.”

  Jase never says a word. One minute tender, the next distant. Whatever. I wonder if the Army made him this way. He wasn’t like this when I knew him before. He was quiet but not withdrawn.

  Quinn doesn’t take no for an answer. “Come on, you can follow us. The officer that was just here told me you have a car, Dee. I have clothes that you can fit into. They might fall off of Marina but they’ll be clean. Come on. If you hate it, you can find somewhere else tomorrow.”

  We don’t have any choice except the fleabag motel up the road. Well, Dee does. She could stay with Reggie, but I don’t like or trust his roommate so I won’t go near the place when he’s not there. She’s such a good friend though that she won’t leave me to deal with this alone.

  “Okay, but just for tonight.” I’ll take the help because I may need that last little bit of money from tips to go toward clothes and food for a bit, until I can get a paycheck.

  An hour later we’re having dinner with the second hottest guy I’ve ever seen, Quinn’s husband Judson, a cute tween-age boy they adopted named Carlo, and their darling baby girl, Lila, in the Rivers’ beautiful ranch house. It was too dark to see anything except the outline of the barn and horse pen when we pulled up, but her husband, Judson, says he’ll take us out to see the horses in the morning.

  After leading us here and introducing us to everyone, Quinn and Jase returned to work. I thought it might be weird to be left here with people we don’t know, but Carlo has been very animated as he talks to us, like he’s enjoying having an audience. Judson is quiet, but not uncomfortably so, almost like he’s always this way. It’s as if he’s taking everything in.

  While I sit at this table, in a real family home, my heart aches for everything I never had. A family is the only thing I’ve ever wanted; people to love me that I can love in return. The warmth and happiness that I see in this room is my dream, not the family that I grew up with.

  Chapter Six

  Dex

  I’m angry at Quinn and it’s time to find out why she took them in. “Quinn, what the hell were you thinking?” I flash her a look filled with all the attitude I can muster.

  “What? I couldn’t leave them there. They didn’t have anywhere to go. I don’t know how you could leave them considering you know Marina and obviously feel something for her. You can deny it all day long, Dex, but I know you and it’s obvious that she matters to you.”

  “Marina is a footlocker of misfortune and you don’t need that in your house. Your family has been through enough.”

  “Do you want to give them somewhere to stay?”

  “No,” I grumble. Marina at my place? That’s asking for trouble. “But you need to think of Carlo. Who knows what those two women will bring to your house.”

  “Don’t lecture me on Carlo. Either I take them in, or you do. For now, they’re at my house with my family. If you feel strongly enough that they don’t belong there, you can take them to your place; if you don’t, then shut up. You know I can’t leave them out there when they have no place to go.”

  “Marina said something about Dee’s boyfriend.”

  “Did you get a look at Marina’s face when she thought Dee might go there? She was terrified. After everything she’s been through, I don’t know how you can be ready to leave her on a street corner and be done with her. Especially since you have some kind of history with her you’re not talking about.”

  I flinch, knowing she’s right and feeling a little bit of guilt about it, but I didn’t ask for any of this. I don’t understand how these women became my responsibility. How did I end up with a do-good partner? I’ll never be able to get rid of Marina now.

  As we finish up the day, I face the guilt that’s been weighing on me since Quinn called me out. I have the space to put the ladies up and it’s safer for Quinn’s family for them to stay with me in case there’s a problem we aren’t aware of.

  On our way to the parking lot I finally cave. “I’ll come get them; let me follow you home.”

  “Why? They aren’t bothering me. Sounds like my family likes them, if the last five texts from Carlo and Judd are anything to go by.”

  “I don’t want to take a chance that there will be problems. I’ll get them set up and then stay out of their way. Besides I leave for Florida soon.”

  Quinn studies me for a long time before she finally says, “Fine, follow me then.”

  When we walk through the door to Quinn’s house, I’m stopped dead in my tracks by the sight of Marina with Lila on her hip. Mari’s hair is pulled up in a messy knot on her head and the tip of a tattoo at her neck is peeking out along her shirt collar, but not enough to see what it is exactly. They’re facing the window, away from us, and it only takes a second to figure out they’re laughing at their reflections. Mari does something and Lila giggles uncontrollably. Then Mari laughs. When they both settle down it starts again.

  I’d love to look away but I can’t. It’s beautiful and in that moment, I’m speechless and pulled back in time to the second week Mari was staying with the foster family. I’d been there longer and when she arrived I couldn’t get enough of her. Everything about her, from the sound of her voice to her boisterous laughter, the scent of her shampoo, and the delicate curve of her neck, made me stupid with obsession. There were other girls her age at the house, but none of them affected me the way she did. Sometimes I’d sit outside of whatever room she was in and soak in the sweet cadence of her voice, even if the conversation was stupid.

  There was one time when Mari was in a bedroom with one of the littler girls in the house and they were giggling about something. Within a couple of minutes the giggles turned into hardcore laughter, practically obnoxious in its volume, but I was certain I’d never heard anything more amazing. I don’t know why it hit me like it did then or now, but I can only classify her laughter as magical. I’
ll never admit that to anyone else. I’d be labeled a pussy for the rest of my life. Especially since she irritates me so badly now with everything else she does.

  I don’t know how long I stand there and watch this little scene, but I don’t snap out of it until I hear Judson call my name. Shit. I was hoping no one noticed, but of course that’s not an option in this house. When I glance around I realize everyone else is staring at me. Quinn is doing her best to hide a smile and Judson is flat-out laughing at me. Fucker.

  “What?” I ask, narrowing my eyes at them, but I don’t wait for the answer to my question. “Marina and Dee, I’m taking you guys with me.”

  Marina’s head whips around and the smile she had on her face slides off slowly. “Why?”

  “Just because. They have enough going on without all of this. I have room at my place for you two and it won’t disrupt the kids’ schedules.”

  Judson opens his mouth to say something but Quinn clears her throat and gives him a quick shake of her head to shut him up.

  Marina looks a little hurt as she passes Lila to Quinn. “I’m sorry if we invaded your family time. They’re great kids. Let me slip on my shoes and I’ll be ready.” She’s crushed and like every other emotion she experiences, she can’t hide it. Damn. I feel like an ass, but I don’t need her getting attached to the Rivers family when she’ll be gone soon. Besides, I have no idea what kind of trouble is following her this time and I don’t want it on their doorstep.

  “Hold on. Let me grab some clothes for you guys. I’ll be right back,” Quinn calls over her shoulder as she rushes out of the room.

  There’s an uncomfortable silence as we wait, so Judson asks, “Can I talk to you out back?” I nod and turn for the door when I hear him tell Carlo, “Take your sister to her room and play with her for a little bit, please. Say goodnight to the ladies.”

  Once the door is closed, Judson asks, “Dex, what the hell is going on? You know having them stay at our place isn’t an issue. I’m missing something here, but I don’t know what it is. You gonna tell me?”

  I lean over and prop my elbows on the railing of their wraparound porch and release a deep breath, feeling like I’ve been holding it in for hours. “There’s a lot you don’t know. I’m sure Quinn will fill you in, but basically Marina is a mess. Although I don’t think she means to, she keeps ending up in trouble. It’s one issue after another with her and I don’t want your kids exposed to that. You guys have been through enough.”

  “She’s fine. I think I’m a pretty good judge of character and I’m telling you, any problems she has aren’t totally her fault. She may have judgment issues, but she’s got a good heart.”

  “Dude, you don’t know her. I’ll explain everything another time, but I can’t go there now. I’m taking them with me. It’ll be better that way. I’ll also be gone to Florida in a couple of days, so they’ll have the place to themselves.”

  He throws his hands up as he backs away. “Okay, your call, but if it doesn’t work there they can come back here.”

  My apartment doesn’t have the comfortable feel of home like Quinn’s house does but it’s clean and has enough room to accommodate us all. An interior decorator I’m not. Both guest rooms have a queen-sized bed with solid navy bedding and a matching dresser. I don’t have anything hanging on the walls in those rooms so they’re a little on the sparse side. I know it’s weird that a single guy has a three-bedroom apartment, but after a lifetime of having no space, I felt I needed room to breathe.

  The living room has the most comfortable couch I could find. It’s big and firm but fluffy. The sales lady called the color chocolate, but let’s call a spade a spade, it’s brown. Next to that are a tan, leather recliner, also very comfortable, a coffee table and an end table. The only pictures I have on the walls are two collages Quinn made for me for Christmas, of me with the Rivers kids and me with the Larkin kids. They were the best present I’ve ever received so they’re on a wall all by themselves, where I can see them every day. I’m definitely not the kind of guy who knows how to entertain but hopefully the fact that the ladies are in a safe, clean home will outweigh the less aesthetically pleasing aspects of my place. When everyone is settled, I go to bed. They stay up to watch TV. Their alternating laughter at whatever is on and whispered conversation can be heard through the thin walls, although I have no idea what exactly they’re saying. I fall asleep quickly, but another combat nightmare wakes me. Once again I’m covered in sweat, unable to catch my breath feeling like I just stepped off the battlefield and I want to puke. I lie there for a bit trying to calm myself and go back to sleep but I finally realize that when the dream is so real you can practically smell the burning flesh, rest suddenly becomes unnecessary.

  Giving up on the idea of sleep, I tug on my jogging pants, sneakers and a hoodie. Then I shove a $20 bill in my pocket along with an apartment key and slip out for a run. This is nothing new. It’s the only way I’ve found to burn through the remnants of war that stirs in my brain some nights. As I’m crossing the living room, I see Marina slip into Dee’s room and wonder if she’s okay, but I know I need to keep my distance so I continue on my mission.

  A few minutes later and three blocks down, I see Marv curled up along a wall, with the blanket I got him last winter wrapped around his body. His head is propped on his duffel bag like it’s a pillow, but he sits up when he sees me and gives me a half toothless smile.

  Marv and I met several years ago when I was out for a jog one night. A mentally unstable homeless woman was attempting to steal his stuff and they were fighting over it. I intervened and something about the salty old homeless guy had me coming back to check on him. Turns out he’s homeless by choice and not circumstance. As a veteran of the Marine Corps from the Vietnam era, he came home to a country that hated him and he didn’t handle it well. Within five or six years he quit his last job, sold or gave away almost everything he had and moved out onto the street. I asked why he didn’t go down to one of the states with a warm climate and he said he loved this town and wanted to stay. It’s a shame that America couldn’t get its act together to welcome a man like him home with open arms. Who knows what he would’ve become. Marv is a genius with equally impressive street smarts and is a funny son of a bitch to top it off. When I can’t sleep I usually take a run and stop off to see him while I’m at it.

  “Dex.” He nods.

  I sit down next to him. “Marv, how’s it going?”

  “Can’t complain.”

  “You cold?” Tonight he probably isn’t, but there are a lot of nights I know he has to be.

  “Nah. I’ve got a good blanket.” He winks at me. “You doin’ okay?”

  “Yeah. Got visitors at my place and I can’t sleep. Thought I’d run to see if I could wear myself out.”

  “Family?” he asks and I realize we’ve never talked about my family or lack thereof before.

  “Nah, don’t have any family.”

  “Women?”

  I smile a little as I answer because he always wants to know about my dates so it shouldn’t surprise me that he’s asking about the ladies. “Yeah.”

  “They good looking?”

  I smirk at him. He’s homeless and eating out of dumpsters most days, but he hasn’t lost his sense of humor. I tried to get him to stay with me for a little while last winter, but he only took me up on it one night when the shelter was full. Women should be the last thing on his mind.

  “Do I look like I’d have ugly women at my house?” I joke. There aren’t many people I can talk to like I do him, so he gets a rare glimpse of me that no one else does.

  “If I thought you were with either of them then I’d say no, but no man with a gorgeous woman in his bed is out running and hanging out with a guy like me in the middle of the night.”

  “Yeah, well, one of them I don’t know and the other is a handful.”

  “Those are the best kind, my friend. They keep you on your toes. I had a woman like that once. I just wasn’t man enough to ke
ep her. Maybe you need to go home and work on that.”

  Laughter, deep and hearty, spills out of me at his comment. Marina would keep me on my toes all right. I don’t think I could deal with all the piercings and the makeup though. The tattoos don’t bother me, but I feel like she’s overdoing it with the other stuff. Besides, tornados don’t even spin up stuff as fast as she does. It’s all too much for me. I’ve never seen anyone get into the trouble she does. I’d cringe every time the phone rang, worried about what she’s gotten herself into this time. Whatever. I can’t have anyone in my space and business all the time anyway. I crave the silence and I’ve spent too many years doing my own thing; adding someone else to the mix would only complicate my life.

  “Here man. Get a burger, you’re getting too skinny.” I place the $20 in his hand and stand.

  “I don’t need your money.” He scowls at me as he tries to hand it back.

  “No, but you need a burger. You’re gonna waste away if you don’t start woofing down some fast food.” His laughter follows me as I jog away feeling a little bit better.

  When I return to the apartment, it’s quiet and the door to Mari’s room is still open the way she left it when she went to Dee’s room. I wonder what made her go in there. The mattress on her bed is new so it should be comfortable.

  The aroma of coffee fills the air when Dee tiptoes out of her room the next morning. Mari’s door is still open so I figure she stayed with Dee. Maybe they’re lovers. That didn’t cross my mind until now but it wouldn’t surprise me. I’m finding that nothing with Marina surprises me.

  “Morning,” she mutters.

  “Morning. You sleep okay?”

  “It would have been better if Marina wasn’t wrapped around me like a koala bear.”