“It's not nice I know but at least you've made a good decision by telling him, hopefully he'll concede and just leave you to get on with your new life.” Tommy said hopefully.
“Oh you don't know John Cain very well Tommy, he won't walk away from this without his reputation intact, he will make sure I regret this, not him ...” I trailed off. “I know he'll come to find me, he won't just take my word for it, and he's too arrogant for that. He won't accept that I don't want to be with him even though it's his fault.”
“Well to hell with him Eva, none of this is your fault so don't start accepting that it is and making excuses for his behavior.” Tommy jumped up and extended his hand for me to take, as he pulled me up we almost hit into one another bringing us close, face to face. Naturally we kissed and to feel the heat from Tommy's lips surrounding mine caused butterflies in my stomach which very quickly turned into sparks of electricity, we made such a fiery combination and from the feelings I was receiving from Tommy, I knew it was a mutual sensation.
Tommy's hands crept lingeringly up my back, I could feel every inch of his touch on my over sensitive skin, I wanted him there and then, I knew he did too, if the protruding erection up against my leg was anything to go by. Our breathing became heavier, my heart was galloping with excitement, there was nothing that came close to the genuine effect that Tommy had over me, this was how love was supposed to be.
Neither of us seemed to be aware of where we were, and as my shirt disappeared, I scarcely noticed, before I knew it, both Tommy and I were both in compromising positions. Laying me down it was delightful to feel the tickles and slight needling from the blades of grass beneath me.
“I want to kiss you all over,” Tommy whispered into my ear, it was like someone had stroked me with a feather, I quivered longingly.
“Oh yes please,” I purred.
I lay back and closed my eyes and Tommy did exactly what he promised, with each and every kiss I felt closer to heaven, his big, strong work-beaten hands roamed carelessly all over my body, I ached for every hot breath to connect with my skin and as he left traces of moistness after each kiss I couldn't wait for his lips to skip to the next place he chose to touch upon. Feeling his tongue trace from my navel all the way down to my pubic area I was charged with stimulus as I knew what was coming next. As if my mind had ignited a reaction, I could feel my clitoris swell and a familiar tingle danced through my groin, I was ready for him, I ached for him.
A slight feeling of giddiness engulfed me as Tommy's mouth devoured me, his tongue flicked slightly inside me and I involuntarily moaned out loud, I was starting to lose control and with each flick of his tongue I was closer to complete incapacity. I felt two of his fingers sliding into the sticky welcome and as I bore down I looked into Tommy's eyes, I observed his pupils enlarging, I was so turned on I couldn't hold off any longer; my orgasm took over and my body convulsed into jolts of seductive ecstasy, Tommy and I continued with our eye contact and he seemed to be almost getting off on my expression alone. My troubles seemed to float away into the sky, soaring off into the distance making it all seem ok again, if only life was that simple.
“Christ Eva, you look so beautiful when you come,” he smiled, kissing me on the end of my nose, “I wish we could stay like this forever.”
Smiling back at Tommy in my post coital haze I realized that I didn't want any of this to end, I wanted the loose ends of my marriage tied up and put behind me, perhaps my life was meant to be right here with Tommy instead of living a lie in the city. My grandparents would understand, I'd succeeded with my education, found and built a renowned career for myself, (which I could run from home if necessary), and I'd given it my best shot in the city, there was no shame in coming home and seeking solace in my roots.
Breaking through my thoughts, Tommy spoke, “Come on, let me take you home, you need a bath and an early night if battles are about to be commenced.” As his words reminded me, my stomach lurched into a foreboding pit of anxiety. I may well have needed a bath and it may just help but I doubted very much that sleep would come to me easily that night. Turmoil was rattling around inside me and I don't think it was about to subside to allow me to rest.
“But, I haven't satisfied you,” I pointed out.
“Oh yes you have baby, just watching your pleasure satisfies me,” he stated with a cheeky smile, “You needed that more than me, so, you can owe me one.”
How selfless an act was that? This is why I loved Tommy; he was considerate to my feelings and went out of his way to make sure I was looked after. I had always been that kind of person myself and always believed in treating people the way you expected to be treated yourself, Tommy had just enforced that idea.
It felt so wicked to be outdoors, knowing that at any moment we could get caught in the act, we quickly dressed and like silly, unassuming teenagers we made our way home, hand in hand. We chatted easily and laughed at each other's silly jokes, we were happy. Tommy continued to insist that I relax in a hot, aromatic bath and I did admit that the thought was appealing, we stood in the lane in each other's arms, kissing our goodbye, that's when I saw him. Pushing myself away from Tommy as if he was a repellent I couldn't believe that in the yard, standing looking straight at us was John.
Tommy noticed my sharp intake of breath and the look of utter horror on my face, he turned to see what I was facing and their eyes met. Part of me had been expecting this but not in a face to face situation, had we been casually walking then John would have no reason to see it for what it was, I could have actually kicked myself because this was the last thing I'd wanted, John to see us together that way, now this made me no better than him. How could I berate him when he'd seen me in a romantic clinch with Tommy?
As John strode across the yard towards us I suggested that Tommy go back home, I almost insisted whilst Tommy refused point blank,
“No Eva, I won't leave on his account, this involves me now so I won't leave you to answer for me,” he explained firmly.
John's expression was furious … a little unnecessary in the circumstances I thought but I allowed him to continue with his behavior, John possessed a short fuse and if he was going to blow then not I or Tommy would be able to prevent it.
“What the hell is this?? You think you've caught me bed hopping and that justifies you having an affair with some farm boy? Where is your class Eva?” John fumed, pointing at Tommy. So, I'd 'thought' I'd caught him? A little frugal with the truth there.
“Hey buddy, first of all, don't point in my direction and second of all, you can call me what you want but don't start with Eva, we're old friends and I was comforting her throughout the mess that you've caused ...”
The very next second John had thrown a punch in Tommy's direction but Tommy was fast, he was fit and his reactions were on alert. John missed him but only just, his bulky frame and footballer build slowed him down whereas Tommy was not only younger but he was strong and athletic, lithe and broad. I was startled by the sudden commotion but Tommy soon had the situation under control, taking John by the lapels of his jacket, he held him up against the wall, looking him directly in the eyes.
“Don't even go there pal, I'll make mincemeat out of you … and take great pleasure in doing so. The very first moment you cheated on Eva you lost her so take yourself back to the city and finish what you started with your 'other woman', Eva is staying here and has no intention of discussing it with you.” Tommy meant business but I wasn't sure I appreciated him speaking on my behalf, this was something I needed to say to John myself, however it did break the ice for me.
John glanced over in my direction, “Eva, please call your lapdog off, now there's a good girl.”
Before I could say anything, Tommy was dragging John across the yard, he got as far as the water container and deftly submerged my struggling husband into the water, for a couple of seconds John was dipped and then Tommy let go and didn't move, waiting for John's fists to come flying at him. A spluttering John came to the surface and I could alm
ost see steaming coming from his ears,
“What the…Are you completely insane, you idiot??” he was drenched and enraged with fury. As he stepped towards Tommy, he was prevented from advancing any further as Tommy popped a punch on the end of his nose. I very nearly laughed out loud, although I didn't hold with any violence whatsoever it was something I could have quite easily done myself, my inner mischief thanked Tommy for saving me the job.
John was clearly shell-shocked but he didn't fancy challenging Tommy, holding his nose as it seeped scarlet drips of blood onto his clean, white shirt his eyes narrowed towards Tommy,
“You'll be hearing from my lawyer about this you thug,” He then turned to me, “as for you, I think we need to talk, alone.”
It wasn't something I fancied very much but I couldn't run from it. I needed answers just as much as John did, I nodded in agreement and without daring to look in Tommy's direction I walked back to the house, a wet and bloodied John followed me.
“You know where I am if you need me Eva,” Tommy called after me and I looked back and smiled my appreciation.
“She won't need you.” John sneered.
Back in the house I was thankful that my grandparents were in the village for the market, they would be gone for at least a couple of hours so it gave me plenty of time to talk with John and bring this complication to an end. I had no idea in my mind how it was all going to transpire and I hadn't even come to a conclusion as to how it would all end but we did need to talk.
Putting the faithful, problem solving kettle on I automatically, if not robotically made a pot of tea. As I poured the water into the teapot I realized that John was talking to me, I don't know how long he'd been talking but he was talking, I think by this time I'd resigned myself to not caring what he had to say.
“Why Eva?” he interrupted my thoughts.
“Why what, John? Shouldn't I be the one asking the questions?” I reminded him.
The problem with John was that although he was a responsible person, he never took responsibility of his own behavior, he never owned the fact that he made mistakes, he considered himself to be perfect, well he was far from that and whereas once I could overlook this trait, right now it revolted me, I despised his arrogance.
“John, you and I took vows of marriage, I seemed to have taken those vows seriously, you however didn't even wait for the ink on the marriage certificate to dry before you were rummaging in Helena's lingerie. You can't explain your way out of that so what is left for us? Nothing.” I calmly informed him of my feelings.
Almost scoffing at my statement, John removed his wet jacket and began to unbutton his shirt, “There's little need for histrionics Eva ...”
This angered me, “Why is it John Cain that you feel the need to talk to me like you talk to your employees? I am your wife and deserve some respect. If it's not my behavior you're calling into question it's my weight-”
“It's for your own good Eva, no-one wants a fat wife,” he cut into my explanation.
Slamming the teapot down onto the kitchen table it spurted hot water angrily from its spout, catching John on the hand. “I am far from fat!” I shouted. John was too busy concerning himself with the water I'd splashed on him. Throwing a tablecloth at him I wondered at myself giving him assistance, he deserved every last bit of pain coming his way, I was sorry I hadn't been able to punch him myself.
Before he could go on, “If you were to take your nose from up your scrawny girlfriend's ass you would see that half the women in the world are my size John, I am an averaged sized woman, a size fourteen, not some skeletal bag of bones that looks like she needs to eat a few meat pies in case she snaps in half!”
“Now, now Eva, you're becoming hysterical again,” he chastised me.
“No John, I have just had enough of your bullshit.” John hated it when I swore and a part of me didn't care and part of me did it on purpose.
As he started to reproach me I turned away, looking out of the window I watched as Dollie greeted the postman, John became white noise in the background, I was disinterested in his opinion.
The next thing was John was beside me, grabbing me by the shoulders, “Are you even listening to me Eva?”
Looking into his eyes I assessed him for a moment, his face; the face I had fallen in love with was now a face I didn't even know. Throughout our entire marriage he had hoodwinked me, made me believe in true love and caused me to think I needed to improve myself; the weight thing had never really bothered me deep down because I was confident with my size but it hadn't stopped me being aware of his perception. I thought how Tommy was so different, how much he loved my body and had always had nothing but compliments about it, he embraced my curves and enjoyed my fuller figure, finding it sexy and appealing. That was how a husband was supposed to feel, to find it a turn on, not a turn off. Perhaps this was why he was attracted to Helena, well if he wanted to sleep with a body resembled that of a boy then he was certainly with the right woman, but why marry me in the first place? This was the one and only question I wanted answering.
I ignored John's question and whatever it had been that he'd previously said, “Why did you marry me John?”
John tutted, still holding onto my shoulders, “Because I love you Eva, why do you think I married you?”
“That is exactly why I'm asking you John because as far as I'm concerned, you didn't need to marry me, you had Helena and you could've continued with her without hurting anyone else along the way,” I stated.
“But I wanted to marry you. I loved you.” John's voice softened but I wasn't about to crumble.
“No John, you wanted me. Like you do with all your fancy gadgets and possessions, you wanted to own me,” I stipulated, there was no other way to explain this to him but I felt he wouldn't admit it anyway.
“That's not true Eva, I loved you and wanted you to be my wife, I still do-“ As his voice tailed off I raised my eyebrows.
“Oh John. Poor, poor deluded John,” I lamented, “you don't love me, you don't want to lose me, but not because you love me, you just don't want to lose the fight or lose me to another man.”
A sudden scowl crept over John's face. “And I suppose that jerk back there is the other man?”
It was quite remarkable how he could flit from one emotion to another, especially when it was bringing his macho attitude into question. “I am not with another man John, I have been but I'm not making any decisions right now, but I won't be making them based on your answers either.” I explained as directly as I could.
The scowl promoted itself and became an ugly grimace, “You have the cheek to penalize me for carrying on with Helena but it's ok for you to do it? I think you have your principles all twisted round young lady.”
“My principles remain intact thank you very much John, I never so much as looked at another man before I found out about your major indiscretions.” I defended my corner. I wasn't going to allow him to play that card on me.
I saw Dollie spring to life as my grandparents truck rolled into the yard, they both instantly looked towards the house as they noticed John's car parked outside. Grandma's face displayed a certain relief as she saw me standing in the window.
“My grandparents have returned, we need to go for a walk.” I said, reminding him to quickly get dressed. His jacket and shirt had been drying on the heater and by now were fit to be worn again.
Thankfully he was fully dressed by the time they entered the house.
Grandma was the first through the door and the look on her face wasn't exactly warm and welcoming.
“John.” She acknowledged him in a clipped tone. Grandpa was next through the door who ignored him completely. Sensing that he wasn't welcome, John walked towards the door, “Let's go for that walk Eva?”
We left the house and I steered us in the direction of the stables. As we walked into the familiar smell my heart skipped a beat, how could I discuss the state of my marriage when my senses were going into overdrive with memories of my last vi
sit here.
“Are you going to be straight with me John? There's no point in discussing anything if you're going to constantly avoid my questions.” I advised.
Sitting down on a hay bale, John sighed. He was finally appearing to back down with his self-righteous attitude, “Oh Eva, I'm a fool, a stupid, self-obsessed fool but Helena is a forceful woman, not someone to be messed with.”
Rodeo (BBW Cowboy Romance) (BBW Western Romance) Page 12
