Unveiling The Sky

by Jeannine Allison

  “The only reason I said all those things is because I was drunk and drowning in my own fear. I feel like I’m going to fail you,” I choked out. “I’m not worried because I want to be the hero and make everything better. I’m worried because I love you so much and can’t imagine my life without you. Alara, you scare the absolute shit out of me. It terrifies me that I can’t understand this, because without understanding I feel like I won’t be able to help you when you need it.” I felt a few tears fall as I stared at her, pleading with her to accept my words.

  “So is it going to be hard? Yes. Are there going to be days when I’ll be frustrated? Absolutely. But that’s because I can’t stand the idea of you being in pain.” I took another deep breath before finishing. “I know I can’t fix you, but I can hold you. I can hold you so tight you’ll forget you feel broken because I’ll be holding all your broken pieces together.”

  She smiled and launched herself into my arms. I felt her shake as her tears hit my shoulder, and I held her tight just like I said I would. Minutes later she pulled away, practically sitting on my lap with her arms wrapped around my neck.

  “You know a tiny part of me thought you might be coming over here to break up with me.” I opened my mouth but she shook her head before I could say anything. “No, no, just listen. When you snuck out this morning, I thought you regretted… you know.” She blushed as she waved her hand toward her bedroom.

  “I’d never regret that.” I smiled before pushing that same stubborn piece of hair behind her ear. She smiled too and closed her eyes at my touch.

  “I’m always going to be a little insecure. But I know, deep down I know how much I mean to you.” Alara’s eyes opened and filled with tears again before she looked down; her long hair fell like a curtain so the only part of her face I saw was the tip of her nose.

  “And you’re right, I don’t understand it either. It’s s-so weird because there are days w-when I’m so okay or so f-f-freaking happy I can’t e-even imagine how three d-d-days ago I could have been so low.” She sniffled and brought her hands up to furiously wipe her tears. I laid my hand on her back and she tensed for only a second before releasing a tiny sob. I began rubbing circles as she cried, her hand gripping my shirt like an anchor.

  “I don’t always know what I need to survive this battle, but I know what I don’t. I don’t need people pretending it doesn’t exist. I don’t need people judging my actions when I’m in the middle of a low period. And I know it’s hard and I’m sorry it’s this way… not just for me but for you too, because I know it affects you just as much as me. I’m not blind to that. And it's always going to be there. If I’m not experiencing an episode then it’s just the fear that one is right around the corner. I have no escape.” She paused, finally looking up at me. “Except knowing you’ll love me anyways.”

  “Already done, beautiful,” I said.

  “I love you,” she whispered against my lips right before she placed a soft kiss on them.

  I smiled and leaned back against the couch, feeling the most relaxed I had in weeks, maybe even all year. “I love you, too.”

  …

  Hours later we lay in her bed, completely sated and exhausted. I was flat on my back and her head was resting on my shoulder as she looked up at me. One of my hands was wrapped around her back until it rested on her hip while the other was holding her hand over my heart. I rubbed my thumb along the back of her hand and she placed a kiss on my chest with a smile. I leaned down and the scent of mint hit my nose again. I remembered smelling it last night and several times this afternoon as we made up for the last week, but I had been too preoccupied to mention it.

  “Alara,” I murmured as I placed a kiss on her forehead.

  “Yeah?”

  “Why do you smell like mint?” She froze against me and tilted her head down so I couldn’t see her expression.

  “I, uhh…” Moving my right hand down I lightly pinched her ass, causing her to jump and wiggle against me until she was halfway on top of me. She pretended to scowl as she rubbed her ass and asked, “What the hell was that for?”

  “For being so weird.” I gave her a quick kiss on the lips before settling my head against the pillow once more. “Now, tell me why you smell like my body wash.”

  She groaned before dropping her face onto my chest. “It’s stupid.”

  “Excellent. I love stupid things.” I gave her an encouraging smile and started rubbing slow circles on her lower back.

  On a sigh she brought her head back up and looked at me with a serious expression on her face. “You left a bottle here.” She shrugged and nodded her head in the direction of the bathroom. “Since our fight I’ve been using it, it’s just… it made me feel a little better.”

  “Yeah?” I knew she expected me to be smug about it, but I was filled with so much happiness that there was no room for anything else. A wide smile took over my face as I looked down at her.

  She smiled back, a relieved blush flooding her cheeks. “Yeah.” She chuckled after I asked her how often she used it and she said, “Every day.”

  “I love you,” I said, all traces of teasing gone.

  “I don’t think you’ll ever understand how much I love you.” We both moved forward at the same time and met in the middle for a soft, slow kiss. Somehow we kept the kiss at a leisurely pace, but when we broke away ten minutes later we were fighting for breath.

  Alara was frowning and I reached forward to smooth the wrinkles between her eyes. “What’s wrong?”

  “What are we going to do about your dad?” Her tone was cautious as she ran her fingers through my hair.

  I placed a quick kiss on her forehead. “Nothing.” I laughed under my breath. “That’s one of the things that was so stupid about that fight—I had already told my dad to shove it. I never had any intention of breaking up with you or going back there.”

  “Really?” Her eyebrows disappeared into her hair with surprise.

  “Why do you look so shocked? I just told you I loved you.” I gestured to the bed and smirked. “Multiple times, I believe, and in multiple positions.”

  Her blush returned as she tried to leave my embrace, but I held on tighter. “I know, but what about Sam?” she asked, completely ignoring the levity I had tried to throw in because she was too focused on my sister. And somehow, if it was even possible, I fell in love with her even more.

  “My father isn’t sending her anywhere, he relented.” I smiled as a thought occurred to me. “Sam came busting into his office, I’ve never seen her like that. She said there was no way she’d let me leave you; she said she’d send herself to Wendy if she had to.”

  “Wow.”

  “She loves you too.”

  She smiled as she moved to lie back down next to me. “You know that was the only reason I suggested we take a break.”

  “Huh?” My mind was temporarily short-circuited. In the process of moving off me Alara had gotten tangled in the sheet, baring her gorgeous tits. Somehow I managed to restrain myself even though they were only a foot away from my mouth.

  “I knew how much it hurt you to leave Samantha the first time,” Alara started, and the mention of Sam brought my gaze up to hers. “I didn’t want you to have to go through that again. That was the only reason; it was never about me trying to push you away.” She gave me a small smile and started running her fingers through my hair. We fell into a comfortable silence as I returned her smile and wrapped her in my arms, holding her tight.

  I woke up the next morning lying on my stomach with my head facing the window. My eyes slowly fluttered open to see Gabe unlocking and sliding back the windowpane. I was still naked and the sheet had slipped down to the top of my thighs, leaving my backside bare against the chilled morning air blowing in from the now open window.

  “Hey,” he murmured as he carefully put the drapes back in place, ensuring the room stayed dark. He walked over and dropped to his knees in front of me before kissing the tip of my nose.

  “Mor
ning, beautiful.” I smiled and my eyes closed reflexively as his kisses traveled up the bridge of my nose before ending on my forehead. He grabbed the sheet and brought it up until it rested at the middle of my back before he climbed over me and back into bed. I was still facing the window when he brushed my hair to the side and started dropping kisses on my nape.

  “Are you sore?” Gabe asked as his hand rubbed my shoulders and his lips trailed down my spine.

  “Hmmm…”

  He lightly bit my hip before crawling up and straddling my waist. “Do you need a break?” he whispered in my ear, and I smiled at the memories. His hands were fisted, his knuckles pressing down lightly on each shoulder as he made circular moments that had me sighing in pleasure.

  “God, that feels good.”

  “What do you want to do today?”

  “Doesn’t matter,” I said quietly.

  “C’mon, it’s your first Saturday of winter break, right? We need to celebrate.” He paused in his movements and I moved my head toward him.

  “Really, it doesn’t matter. As long as I’m with you, I’m good.”

  Gabe smiled softly before leaning forward and placing several gentle kisses on my lips. When he pulled back his eyes roamed my face like he was trying to memorize every feature, but he didn’t need to—I wasn’t going anywhere.

  We ended up spending the day in bed. Her idea, I swear. When we finally made it out at seven o’clock that night Naomi was sitting on the couch, grinning like the Cheshire cat.

  “You know,” she mumbled around a mouthful of food. “For someone who always complained about all the noise I make, you sure are loud.”

  “What?” Alara squeaked.

  Naomi’s smile grew. “You’re a little bit of a screamer, babe.”

  “No, I’m not.” She turned toward me and lowered her voice. “Am I?”

  I pursed my lips as if in thought. “Well…”

  She groaned and moved to hide behind my back.

  “I’m kidding.” Naomi laughed and I joined her. “But, God, I really miss sex.”

  “It’s only been a week,” Alara pointed out.

  “A long ass freaking week.”

  My girlfriend rolled her eyes before responding, “Go eat some cheesecake, then.”

  Chuckling, I kissed her temple and ran my hand down her back until it settled just above her ass. Naomi tried to glare, but there was an unmistakable display of amusement in her eyes.

  Alara stepped out of my hold before going back into her bedroom and grabbing her phone. “I’m gonna have Derek bring over some food from Poison. You guys want anything?” After we told her what we wanted, she headed to the kitchen while I walked over to the couch to join Naomi. She was practically bouncing in her seat as I flipped through the channels; she was seconds away from bursting—

  “I’m so happy for you guys!”

  “Thanks, Naomi.” I chuckled, but it tapered off quickly as I turned toward her. “For everything.”

  “Of course.”

  Alara came in several minutes later and sat down between us. Just as I lifted my arm and she snuggled into my side, I heard my phone ringing from her bedroom. Gently unwrapping myself from around Alara, I got up and jogged down the hall, barely answering it in time.

  “Hello?”

  “Gabe!”

  I laughed. “Yeah, Sam. What’s up?” My expression immediately dropped as I thought of why she might be calling. “Is it Dad? Has he—”

  “No, no. Nothing’s happened. Actually… he left for work. He’s going to be gone till at least March.” Her voice drifted to a whisper, almost like she still couldn’t believe he’d backed off. Frankly, I felt the same way.

  “Are you okay with that? With being alone?”

  “Yeah, Gabe.” Maybe if I saw her face she’d have been able to convince me—her ability to control her facial expressions was unparalleled. But I heard the slight break in her voice and I knew it was all a front. But I also knew now was not the time to address it.

  “Is everything okay with Alara yet?” The false sentiment from moments ago was replaced by nothing but genuine concern.

  “Everything’s perfect.”

  Five minutes later I was still smiling when I hung up and walked back toward the living room to find Alara and Naomi laughing loudly on the couch. Both gesturing wildly with their hands, almost exactly like the first time I saw them. But this time Alara was just as animated as her friend. She was just as enthusiastic, just as uninhibited, just as… happy.

  We’re told perfection doesn’t exist, but that couldn’t be true. Maybe perfection couldn’t last, but it certainly could occur. It had to, because as I stood there staring at this beautiful, flawed girl and realized that she was mine, no moment had ever felt so perfect.

  “I hate Christmas shopping,” Sherry grumbled as a group of teenage girls almost ran her over while they giggled and swung shopping bags.

  “Ditto,” Naomi agreed. “I never really cared that Santa wasn’t real when I was a kid, but now? I’d give anything to see that fat, red ass sticking outta my chimney if it meant avoiding this shit.”

  We all started laughing as we reached the food court. Sherry and Naomi went off in search of Chinese while Sam and I headed toward the deli counter.

  “Thanks again for inviting me.”

  “I was happy to.” As we waited in line I began wringing my hands through the handles of the giant bag that contained Gabe’s gift. “So you really think he’ll like it?” I cringed as I asked for the fourth time.

  But Sam didn’t seem annoyed at all; she simply smiled and reassured me again that he’d love it. When I entered the mall this afternoon I honestly had no idea what I’d be getting him; I didn’t even know what store I’d be getting it at. It wasn’t until we passed a toy store and Sam mentioned how much Gabe had always wanted a train set, but his father refused to buy him one, that I got an idea. By about the fifth question about Gabe’s childhood and what toys he played with, Sam started to understand and began smiling. Apparently even though their mother was very present and very attuned to her children’s needs, Gabe was also good at hiding things. He was good at pretending he didn’t want a certain toy and even when he did get something he wanted, he was always guarded with how he played with it.

  So I was going to recreate some of the childhood he missed out on. It felt stupid and really, really cheesy. Like so cheesy I wanted to punch myself in the face. But all three girls insisted he’d love it and that it was a great idea.

  And that was how I found myself standing in the food court holding a bag filled with Play-Doh, Legos, Don’t Break the Ice, Bop-It, a Magic 8-Ball, water guns, and of course, a train set, all for my twenty-five-year-old boyfriend.

  “Our father, financially, could give Gabe anything he wanted. So he’s never really been one to care about fancy, expensive things. He always just wanted the freedom of being able to do what he wanted, and I think as a kid he got so used to settling that he wasn’t aware his entire life had become that way until our mother got sick.” Sam paused, apparently becoming fascinated by the menu above our heads. After a few strained minutes she spoke again, “This will mean a lot to him. It’ll be like a do-over.” She smiled as she faced me once more.

  …

  I barely contained my groan as I woke up at five a.m. on Christmas morning. Two hours of sleep after four hours of sex does not make a very productive person. Luckily I was able to slip out without Gabe stirring. Naomi already promised that I’d have the apartment to myself, so I was surprised when I walked out to her sitting on the kitchen counter with two mugs of coffee.

  I gave her a strange look as I grabbed the proffered mug and took a small sip. “Damn that’s good, thank you. But, and don’t take this the wrong way, what the hell are you doing here?”

  She laughed into her cup before setting it down and jumping off the counter. “I thought I’d help.”

  “Really?”

  She nodded. “’Course. Plus what if he wakes up
and you need to go back and distract him, but it’s not finished?”

  I paused with my cup halfway to my mouth. “Good point. You’re going to be a kick-ass lawyer.”

  Naomi rolled her eyes as her smile widened. “Yes, I’ll be sure to put Christmas gift engineer/conspirator on my list of accomplishments and cite you as a reference for law school.”

  “I’m sure once they realize what a smart-ass you are, they’ll accept you right away… that’s a big part of being a lawyer, no?”

  We both laughed softly as we made our way into the common room. “So, how do you want to do this?” she whispered now that we were closer to my bedroom door.

  After a quick discussion about where and how to do what, we silently got to work. We had to pause a couple times when it seemed like Gabe might be stirring, but each time was a false alarm. It was just nearing half past six when we finished and I walked Naomi to the front door.

  “Thanks again for helping. At least now I can get a little bit of sleep.”

  “No problem. I figured you’d be exhausted. Holidays and fucking just go hand in hand. I swear it could’ve been Groundhog Day and Caleb and I would have been humping like—”

  I held up my hand. “I remember.”

  She smirked before nudging me with her elbow. “It was good though, right?” I blushed as I thought back to just how good it was. She laughed, apparently taking that as my answer before quickly hugging me goodbye and leaving.