Breathless

by Cheryl Douglas

  “It’s not a question of who’s right or wrong, baby.” He stroked her face. “I’m scared, Jamie. I’ve always stared down my fears and fought ‘til I was literally bloody and battered. But this is different. We’re not talking about waking up with a broken hand tomorrow. We’re talking about waking up with a broken heart, and that’s a hell of a lot harder to recover from.”

  “You’re right.” She got up, but before she could step away from the bed, he reached for her hand.

  “Jesus, baby, don’t go.” He closed his eyes and held tighter.

  Jamie realized what she had to do. She could think of only one way to give him the assurance he needed. It wasn’t the way she’d always imagined, but she owed it to him. “Eli, sit up.”

  He sat up as she got down on her knees to look him in the eye. “What are you doing?” he asked, frowning.

  “I need to tell you what I should have had the courage to tell you years ago.” She didn’t have a speech rehearsed. She would just have to speak from the heart and hope she could get through it without being reduced to a sobbing mess.

  “Baby, you don’t have to do this.”

  “Yes, I do.” She looked at his strong, tanned hands. They were scarred and calloused from years of playing the game he loved. Eli gave everything and everyone he loved everything he had and more than anything she wanted to be the woman he gave his heart to for the last time.

  She couldn’t risk there being a doubt in his mind about her sincerity. “I love you. I don’t love you just as a friend, E. I’m in love with you. I always have been. It just took me a while to realize it.”

  He stared at her, looking stunned by her revelation.

  Hearing confirmation he felt the same way would have been nice, but his love for her had always been there. He wore it like a badge for the world to see. “I love the way you take care of the people you love, your family and friends. I love that you’re the first one to drop your gloves when a teammate needs back up.” She smiled, drawing a smile from him. “Not that I condone fighting. You know I hate it when you fight.”

  “I know.” He kissed her hand. “But I’m not gonna stop as long as I’m able to lace up my skates. That’s half the fun of the game.”

  She laughed. “I know. You give everything you have to everything you do and that’s an amazing quality.”

  He stroked his thumb across the back of her hand. “Thank you.”

  “You’re the kind of man a woman would be proud to call her husband, the father of her children.” She could see him waging an internal battle. There was a question he wanted to ask, but he was afraid of her answer. If she could help it, he wouldn’t waste another minute questioning her love. “I’d be proud to call you my husband.”

  “Jesus.” He stood up and pulled her into his arms, hugging her hard as she buried her face in his neck. “Years, I’ve been waiting years to hear you say that.”

  She couldn’t stop the flood of tears even if she wanted to. But that was okay. Eli had seen her at her best and her worst, and he still loved her. “Promise me you won’t ever give up on me,” she whispered. “Even when I make you crazy, know how much I love you, that I need you, and don’t ever give up on us.”

  He looked at her, his hands closing in on her face. “My heart won’t let me give up on you. Even when my mind tells me to let go, my heart won’t let me.” His kiss encompassed the fierce passion mere words never could. He claimed her mouth, body, heart, and soul.

  Clothes were shed in the wake of gentle caresses. Years had passed since they’d been intimate, but Jamie knew it would feel like coming home. She’d had a few detours, but Eli was her home.

  As he laid her down on the bed, he braced his body over hers. “I have protection.”

  She knew the team insisted on annual physicals and Eli was always a responsible lover. He knew she was on the pill… because he knew everything about her. “We don’t need it.”

  “Are you sure?”

  She smiled. “I trust you, if you trust me?”

  “You know I do, baby.” He lowered his body and blanketed her with his warm skin. He kissed her neck. “I’ve never made love without protection. In fact, it’s been a hell of a long time since I made love. Since you. It’s always been only you, Jamie.”

  Jamie let him cocoon her in a safe haven where the rest of the world didn’t exist. Nothing existed except the two of them, taking their time to rediscover each other. Her first lover would be her last, and instead of instilling fear in her, it gave her a sense of indescribable peace. “I love you,” she whispered, trailing her lips over his shoulder.

  “I love you too, sweetheart,” he said between kisses. “So damn much.”

  She watched him kiss her all over, worshipping her body in a way he never had before. Perhaps time and distance had made them appreciate each other in a new way. They finally understood how difficult it was to live without the other.

  His fingers found her core and he watched her reaction. He forced her out of her head and into the buzz building in her body. Jamie closed her eyes and finally let go of the fear and angst. She felt as though they’d been on a ship that nearly capsized with no hope of rescue. But by some miracle, they had survived. They were safely docked, with the promise of a future stretching out in front of them. The life they’d almost lost.

  By the time Eli eased into her body, she was more than ready to take him. She was so close to her climax, she had almost imploded. “I couldn’t let you go without me,” he said. “I needed to be inside you for the first one.”

  Their eyes locked, and he stopped moving long enough to kiss her. The kiss was deep and intense, stoking their desire and carrying them away to a place that surpassed their physical connection. Their union was soul deep, and they both felt it.

  He made love to her with the force of a man who’d been in exile, separated from his lover for too long. His body maintained a fierce rhythm she could tell was beyond his control. He may have planned on slow and easy, but his body had other ideas.

  “Oh God, Jamie…”

  His jaw was clenched tight and perspiration was beading on his forehead when her body finally yielded to the orgasm that had been building since he touched her. She felt a tremor move through him as she throbbed around him, silently coaxing him to take the fall with her. She held him tight as his body trembled with his release. His breathing was as ragged as hers. Every attempt to draw air was an effort. They held each other a long time as their heartbeats resumed their normal rhythm.

  He chuckled in her ear. “I must be crushing you.”

  Jamie smiled and locked her ankles around his legs. “You can crush me anytime.”

  Rolling out of bed, he got up and walked into the bathroom.

  “Hey, where are you going?”

  “Be right back.”

  She watched him lean over the sink and splash his face with cold water before reaching for a towel. The play of muscles in his broad shoulders got her fired up all over again. As a professional athlete, he spent almost as much time in the gym as he did on the ice, and she was grateful she got to admire all that hard work firsthand… for the rest of their lives.

  Eli took a bottle of water out of the mini-fridge and took a long drink before offering it to her. “You’re gonna kill me if we keep goin’ at it like that, girl.”

  “Awww…” She pouted. “And I was just thinking that I was up for round two.”

  He rolled his eyes, climbed into bed beside her, and pulled her into his arms. “I’m not eighteen anymore, sweetheart. I’m gonna need a little recovery time before we gear up for round two.”

  “Take all the time you need,” she said, kissing his chest. “I’ve got you for the rest of my life, right?” He didn’t answer. Her heart beat frantically again as she waited. When she looked up, he was grinning.

  “You deserved that for the years of hell you put me through,” he said.

  She laughed and slapped his chest. “I’m so gonna get you back for that.”


  “You have the rest of your life to try.”

  Part Two

  Chapter One

  Tara Collier would do almost anything for her best friend, but planning the seating arrangements for Ava’s upcoming wedding didn’t make the cut of exciting ways to spend a Saturday night. Fortunately, fine wine was flowing and Ava’s future brother-in-law, Keith, was providing the comic relief.

  “Man, I’m telling ya, you put those two together and there’s gonna be a food fight,” Keith said, grinning as he brought his long-neck to his lips. Keith claimed his brother’s expensive vino gave him a headache. He teased they could take the boy out of the slums and put him in a fancy corner office, but he’d still embarrass them at a fancy party if they left him alone at the buffet table.

  Tara had loved Keith’s self-deprecating sense of humor when they first met in college almost fifteen years earlier. His older brother, Brent, had always been a little too uptight, though she had to admit he had loosened up since reuniting with Ava. Keith, on the other hand, had no problem being the butt of his own joke if it earned him a laugh, or better yet, a pretty girl’s phone number.

  “The old bag’d be picking caviar out of her blue hair for a week,” Keith laughed.

  Ava slapped Keith’s leg. “Behave yourself.”

  “Aww, that’s no fun.”

  Brent narrowed his eyes at his brother. “By the way, I heard Jace talking about a bachelor party. What the hell is that about? I told you I’m not interested in some archaic ritual involving—”

  Keith threw a handful of popcorn at his brother. “Shut up already! How often do you give me a good excuse to get drunk and party with hot, half-naked women? Never. Think about me for once. You’ve found the woman of your dreams. I’m still looking.”

  “You think you’re gonna find her swinging from a pole?” Brent asked, picking up the popcorn and setting it on the glass table between them.

  “You never know where the future Mrs. Armstrong might be hiding.” Keith winked at Tara. “Who knows, she could be closer than we think.”

  Keith had always been an insufferable flirt. While Brent was busy getting a graduate degree, his younger brother passed time hitting on women. Apparently old habits die hard. They’d gone out as a foursome several times in the past few months, and Keith still attracted women like moths to a flame. Whether his effortless good looks or his sexy energy appealed to the opposite sex, Tara couldn’t be sure, but she’d be lying if she claimed to be immune.

  “Some people aren’t cut out to do the whole ‘happily ever after’ thing, Keith,” Tara said, taking a sip from her fourth, or was it fifth, glass of wine? “Maybe you and I fall into that category.”

  Keith nudged her leg. “Come on now, you’re too young and beautiful to be so cynical.”

  After too many years of dating, Tara was beginning to feel old and haggard. If Mr. Right showed up on her doorstep, determined to whisk her off her feet, she’d let him, but she didn’t intend to cry in her pillow if it didn’t happen. If a string of bad relationships had taught her one thing, it was that being alone wasn’t so bad.

  “I’m not cynical. I just happen to like my own company better than most of the men I’ve dated.”

  “Then you’re dating the wrong men, sugar.” He grinned, flashing a combination of dimples and white teeth that was hard to ignore. “Besides, a guy can do some things that you just can’t do for yourself… no matter how powerful the toy.”

  Tara laughed, Ava blushed, and Brent rolled his eyes.

  “Do you have to be so crude?” Brent asked.

  “Come on, man. We’re not fifteen. We’ve all been sexually active long enough to talk about it openly. Am I right?” he asked Tara.

  She shrugged. The idea of talking sex with Keith after a few glasses of wine was a daunting prospect. She might confess all of the naughty fantasies she’d had about him.

  Brent stood and reached for Ava’s hand. “I’d much rather do it than talk about it.” He kissed his fiancée. “Let’s go to bed, baby. We’ll leave them to talk about it.”

  “Do you want us to have the driver take you home?” Ava asked Tara. “Or do you just wanna crash here?”

  Since they had several extra bedrooms, Tara knew it wouldn’t be an inconvenience. “What time is that dress fitting?”

  “Nine thirty.”

  Tara glanced at her watch. It was already past one. “Maybe I’d better crash here.” She looked at Brent. “If you’re sure you guys don’t mind?”

  “You’re always welcome here,” Brent said. “You know that.”

  “How ‘bout me?” Keith asked, lacing his hands behind his head. “Am I always welcome?”

  “I resigned myself to the fact that I’m stuck with you a long time ago.” Brent grinned at his younger brother. “But since you just live downstairs, you can haul your butt back down there. Can I trust you to help Tara get settled before you leave?”

  Keith wiggled his eyebrows. “That’d be my pleasure. There’s a big ol’ king-sized bed in the guest room. We could always share.”

  Ava looked concerned. “Um, Tara, can I have a word with you before we turn in?”

  “Sure.” Tara tried to stand, but Keith grabbed her waist and pulled her down on his lap. “Stop it,” she said, laughing and reaching for Ava’s hand.

  Ava hustled her down the hall to the master bedroom and closed the door. “I don’t like this.”

  “What?” Tara blew her dark bangs out of her eyes. She looked in the mirror above the dresser and fluffed her long, dark, wavy hair. She wasn’t wearing much makeup, but her cheeks had a nice glow from the sun and her eyes sparkled from the wine. All in all, not bad.

  “Keith’s been flirting with you all night.”

  Tara looked at her friend’s reflection, trying to gauge whether Ava was serious. Apparently she was. “So? What’s the big deal? Keith flirts with everybody. He’s harmless.”

  “You can’t deny he’s hot, Tara.”

  No, she couldn’t deny that.

  “I mean, I think of him like a brother, but I can see how a woman might succumb to his charm, especially if she’d had a few drinks.”

  Tara frowned at Ava. “You’ve known me forever. You know I don’t jump into bed with a guy just because I’ve had a few drinks.”

  “That’s not what I meant, hon. Please don’t be offended. I just meant…” She sighed. “I love you, and I love Keith. You guys are gonna be a part of our lives forever. We want you to be our baby’s godparents.”

  Tara’s eyes fell to her friend’s flat stomach. She was wearing drawstring track pants that could easily hide a small bump. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”

  “No!” Ava sat on the bench at the end of the enormous four-poster bed. “I just meant that you and Keith are going to cross paths a lot in the future. I wouldn’t want it to be awkward because of some silly one-night stand.”

  “I’m not going to sleep with Keith!” Not that she hadn’t thought about it a time or two.

  “Are you sure?” Ava stared into Tara’s eyes, daring her to try to hide the truth. “I’ve seen you two together too many times to deny there’s chemistry.”

  There was definitely chemistry, but that didn’t mean they had to act on it. Tara and Keith were mature adults, not randy teenagers ruled by their hormones. “I’m positive. Nothing’s going to happen between me and Keith.” She turned back to the mirror and smoothed her hand over her tight cotton tank top. “Tonight or any other night.”

  “If I thought you guys had a shot, I wouldn’t discourage you. But this is Keith we’re talking about. He’s a nightmare when it comes to relationships. Remember what he was like in college? He moved from one girl to another like he had to try them on for size.”

  Tara wrinkled her nose in disgust. They had no proof he’d actually slept with all of the women he dated, but the rumors that spread about him said it all. “I hear what you’re saying, and you don’t have to worry about me.” Tara brushed a kiss across
her friend’s cheek. “I promise.”

  “I love you. I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

  Tara paused at the door to look back at the woman who’d been her best friend since middle school. “I love you too, babe. Hey, have I told you how happy I am you finally found a guy who deserves you?”

  Ava smiled. “You’ll find someone worthy of you too. I just know it.”

  Tara loved that about Ava. She was an eternal optimist who never lost faith in the power of love. “If you say so.”

  ***

  “You lay one hand on her, and I’ll kill you,” Brent warned Keith.

  Keith was used to his brother issuing orders, and he’d gotten pretty good at ignoring them. “Mind your own business.”

  “I’m serious,” Brent said, kicking Keith’s feet off the coffee table. “Tara’s important to Ava, and that means she’s important to me too.” Brent had always looked out for their family, and apparently that protective instinct extended to his fiancée’s friends and family as well.

  “What makes you think I’m even interested in Tara?” Any man with a pulse would be interested in Tara. She was a knockout, and they both knew it.

  “Spare me the B.S.” Brent crossed his arms. “It’s not a question of whether you think she’s hot. I already know you do. But I’m asking you, just this once, to consider my perspective.”

  Brent had bent over backward to make sure Keith had the kind of life their father could never provide. He owed Brent everything. Keith couldn’t, in good conscience, ignore his request. He raised his hands. “Fine. Hands off. I promise.”

  Brent looked him in the eye. “You’ve always kept your word to me, little brother. I trust you.”

  “Don’t worry, man. You can count on me.” Brent was more than just his brother. He was his best friend and the last person on Earth, outside of their father, Keith wanted to disappoint.