Redemption: Alchemy Series Book #4

by Augustine, Donna

  "No, it's better if I'm on my own. I can handle him."

  I left Burrom and made my way to the conference room, passing all different types of people, or what used to be people. Regular humans were becoming the minority. It was nothing to see someone covered in fur or a pair of wings these days. I secretly envied changed with wings. Even with my fear of heights, I'd drooled over a couple of nice sets of fluffy white feathers.

  I reached the conference room before Crash and took a seat in Cormac's...No, it wasn't Cormac's chair. It was the chair at the head of the table. I closed my eyes, feeling too drained to hold back the memories today.

  "Cormac, you've got to rest a bit." I grabbed his arm, trying to psychically drag him into the bedroom and force him to lie down. He'd been nonstop since the portal opened.

  He didn't budge but looked at me.

  "Jo, I don't need sleep anymore."

  I returned his stare. He was holding something back. It was there in his pale eyes and what I'd glimpsed frightened me. I let go of his arm, taking a step back before I even thought about it. Whatever was going on was rattling him. I'd never seen Cormac like this and goose bumps spread up and down my arms.

  "You're pushing too hard." That's all it was, I told myself. He was exhausted from the delusion that he didn't need to rest.

  He looked at me and opened his mouth to speak, but hesitated. When he finally spoke, I wasn't sure if it was what he initially intended to say. "You're right. I'll slow down after I get everything settled."

  Whatever I thought I'd seen in his eyes was shuttered now. Maybe it had never been there. I was so on edge myself, I was seeing things.

  I pushed a boot against the conference table and sent the wheeled chair scooting backward. I should've demanded a real answer. If I had, maybe I could've fixed it. Maybe he would be here with me now.

  We'd had sex the night before and I wish I'd known it was going to be the last time. Maybe if I'd said something different. If I'd told him I loved him, maybe he wouldn't have left.

  I kicked the chair further backward trying to jar my mind along with my body. I had to stop. He'd known how I felt. I might not have told him, but I showed him.

  He'd known. And it hadn't mattered.

  The door swung open and my eyes shot to the figure of Crash walking in. I nodded to Dark, silently signaling him to leave us alone.

  Crash was still as handsome as I remembered, with his sandy colored hair and hazel eyes. His smile was warm and friendly, but did nothing to diffuse the anger I still bore him. The senator had known the moment we'd crossed over into his territory. I'd expected it, but I thought he would have bought us a little time, not run straight to him.

  "Jo," he greeted me.

  "What brings you here?"

  He walked a few feet into the room and I pushed myself back toward the table and kicked my legs up, crossing my ankles. He wasn't a threat to me and I wanted to make sure he knew.

  "Me, and some others, have left the senator." He sat down, leaving a chair between us. It was a telling gesture that spoke of his unease.

  "And now you want to stay here? Little late, don't you think?" I raised my eyebrows. "You torched that bridge pretty bad."

  "I didn't tell the senator that you crossed. One of my men did. I wouldn't have done that but I warned you it was bound to happen."

  "And is this person with you?" I might have to bump Colleen's fight at noon if he was.

  "No. He stayed with the senator."

  I couldn't stop the disappointment but I brushed it aside. "Why now? What's changed?"

  "My daughter's dead."

  The words took all the life out of the room and instantly changed the mood. We both fell quiet and I digested the news. I watched the hurt flash in his eyes at having to speak about her. I could see the pain of her loss poke its head up at the mention and stab a fresh wound.

  So many people were dead. I was all too familiar with how you could be walking along, managing to hold yourself together, until a simple memory caused you to seize in pain.

  I wanted to act callously, as if I were immune to it, but I wasn't. Time made you better, but it never made you whole. Maybe if I hadn't just suffered my own loss it would be easier to shut down the empathy, but I was too raw myself. Cormac wasn't confirmed dead, but he might as well be. I hung my head as I tried to tamp down the compassion I couldn't seem to stop. So, instead of saying a lot of people are dead, as I probably should've, I said nothing.

  "How many do you have with you?"

  "I've got forty-eight now, but there might be more to follow." He looked around the room and then his gaze came back to mine, uncertainty there. "I told them I'd send word back if they were welcome."

  "What do you have to offer?" Compassion or not, there could be no free rides, especially for a group such as this. I'd have a riot on my hands if I did.

  "We're all ex-military and we didn't leave empty handed, either. We took a shit load of guns and ammo with us."

  "We've got all the guns and ammo we need."

  "Not this kind you don't." He smiled, knowing he had the ace in the hole.

  When last we'd met, Crash's team had been in possession of ammo that Keepers, and rippers alike, were susceptible to. It was a game changer.

  "How much?"

  "Enough to clear out every ripper in Nevada about ten times over."

  Now he had my true interest and I leaned forward.

  "If this is true, why even bother with us? Why wouldn't you go stake out your own little piece of the wild west?"

  "As peaceful as it is now, when it does get ugly, and we all know it will, I want to be standing next to the good guys."

  I wasn't sure we were the good guys. Kaz ripping Rogo's head off didn't seem so good. There was nothing saintly about Colleen's fight with Evan, but I decided to let him think what he wanted. I needed those bullets.

  "How did you get out? And what about the rest of them? How do I know they're going to be loyal and this isn't some sort of Trojan Horse? Are they all suddenly plagued by some new found moral compass?" I picked up a stray pencil that was lying on the table and tapped it, then twirled it in my hand while I waited.

  "The senator hasn't been paying much attention since the truce, so getting out wasn't as hard as it might have been a few months ago."

  "Everyone over there knows about the truce?" I feigned interest in my pencil baton act while he spoke.

  "Not everyone. Just the upper tier, but they talk."

  "You still didn't tell me why the rest of them want out."

  He tilted his head down as if he didn't want to really speak aloud what he had to say next. "You know my daughter was the only thing keeping me there. I wasn't the only one whose family members could be counted among the changed.

  "He uses them against us. Most of the people with me are good. They fought for their country out of loyalty and honor. Even the ones who don't have family didn't sign up with the senator because they thought he was evil. He told them you were the cause of the world's destruction. They believed him." He rolled his eyes, thinking to commiserate with me over the lies spread.

  The pencil snapped in my hand. I took a deep breath before I continued, knowing it needed to be said.

  "That's not all lies. I did have a hand in it."

  He tapped his fingers on the table, needing a minute himself to formulate a response.

  The drumming stopped. "It's true?"

  I wanted to deny it, now that he was the one staring at me with condemnation. "The senator was the architect, but yes, I was directly involved. You could say I was the hammer he swung."

  He nodded, taking another moment. "Did you know what you were doing?"

  "No." The word rushed from me but I wouldn't beg for forgiveness, even though a part of me wanted to.

  "I won't share that with my people."

  "It doesn't matter. They'll find out. It's unavoidable."

  "I'll deal with it then."

  "Or I will." Which seemed more likely.r />
  "Either way, I'd still like to stay."

  As I looked at him, my obligation to the people already here warred with the desire to appease my guilt and welcome them with open arms. I wanted to try to right the wrong I felt I caused everyone, but I couldn't ease my conscience on other people's backs.

  "We'll make room for now, on a probationary basis, and see how it goes." See if the current residents resent sharing the limited supplies and don't start challenging them to death matches. Or worse, risk the backlash and off them in their sleep.

  He nodded and we both stood. I had to go figure out where I could squeeze fifty more bodies in. Crash, presumably, had to go talk to his men.

  "I'm just warning you, though, if there are too many objections, you'll have to leave. And, so help me, if I feel like I can't trust you at any point, I will deal with the problem."

  "You think you could?" He wasn't trying to start a fight but eyeing me up as a small female that couldn't handle him and his guys. His earlier unease seemed dulled by our calm conversation.

  "I know I could. You should listen to the gossip. It's not all lies." I returned his smile but it didn't reach my eyes and I knew he felt the threat, and maybe as Burrom had suggested, seen his potential death staring back at him in my eyes.

  "Who are you?" he asked, realizing, maybe for the first time, I wasn't the same girl he'd met months ago.

  "I'm the product of my environment. And it's one nasty fucking world out there." I walked away, not offering any further explanation.

  Chapter Six

  Snow Day

  I was taking Colleen and Chip on a little field trip with me today to collect food. Both had proven immune to the rippers. Colleen was an asset, with her ability to shoot electrical currents from her fingers, and Chip was logistics. He could get us wherever we needed to go by tapping into the satellites that still orbited the planet. With the map, he might not have been the best use of our additional person, but he was my first choice because he knew how to keep his mouth shut. I didn't want the adventure I was planning to be discussed.

  I looked down at the map spread out in front of me. A red circle clearly marked the location of the canned food warehouse.

  I folded and pocketed it, just in case Chip's wireless went on the fritz and made my way downstairs. Chip and Colleen were waiting for me at the door, dressed in camouflage as I was, even though I was ten minutes early. They smiled when they saw me and I wondered if I'd remembered to prep them on what we were actually going to do.

  "Ready?"

  "Beyond ready. We need to get the hell out of this sardine can," Colleen said.

  I nodded in understanding. Every day it seemed like there was less and less room and the tensions were escalating considerably.

  We pushed outside, making tracks in the new snowfall. It had been snowing every day for the last week and I pulled the jacket tight around me as we headed out.

  "The tensions might ease up for you, Colleen, if you stopped getting into fights."

  In spite of the shiner she was sporting on her left eye, Burrom had reported back to me that Colleen hadn't needed any help fighting Evan.

  "He had it coming. And I did take pity on him. I could've finished him off, but I let him live."

  "I heard he begged for his life." The words caused bile in my mouth.

  "A little." I heard the gloating in her voice and I wanted to shake some sense into her.

  "There's nothing amusing about it." I grabbed her arm to get her attention. "And you aren't looking at the bigger picture. You think he's grateful now? Wait. That embarrassment is going to stew in his system until one day it poisons him with thoughts of revenge."

  "I'm not worried. I can take him." Her bravado reminded me of my own youthful stupidity. I hoped she learned a little easier than I did.

  "Only if you see him coming. And the ones you do see coming aren't usually the ones that bring you to your knees. It's the stuff that hits you out of left field that takes you down." I let her arm go, hoping for her sake that she would wake up before she dug herself in too deep.

  Neither of us said another word as we headed toward the truck we were taking. It was parked about five blocks away, right along the only clear path out of Vegas.

  The truck was a huge neon blue semi and, for the first time, I really wondered if Colleen and Chip had been the best choice. I might have other things I wanted to accomplish, but we were also going to need to fill up that truck and none of us had much upper body strength.

  I climbed up the steps and settled in. We'd already decided I'd do the first leg of the trip, then Colleen because she was a natural night owl. Chip would remain free to link into the satellites and bug out when we needed extra directional instruction.

  It only took about five minutes for the heat to start warming up and we settled in as we headed toward the California border and our boon of canned food.

  I found a comfortable position behind the wheel and adjusted to driving the monstrosity. Hotel California played in the CD player, thanks to Chip's forethought. It was a slow go initially, swerving the big truck through the cars abandoned in the more suburban areas. By time we'd hit the highway, the sun was already setting.

  "When's Cormac coming back?" Chip asked, after we'd gone about a mile on the highway. Just like that, the cabin of the truck became my own little version of small talk purgatory.

  "I'm not sure. He'll be back soon." I was starting to wish I could just pin that statement to my shirt.

  "Where are the rippers?" Colleen wasn't looking at me but at the great expanse of snow covered desert. "It's getting dark and we're covering a lot of ground. I haven't seen one ripper."

  I never expected talking about the rippers would be a pleasant topic of conversation but it beat out "Cormac, Cormac, and where's Cormac?" The lack of rippers should have made us all happy, but any disturbance in the norm these days had a tendency to set people's nerves on edge, including mine.

  "Maybe with a lack of humans to eat, they're dying off," I replied. It was an optimistic thought, which is probably exactly why I didn't believe it. Optimists were a dying breed these days, and even way back when, before everything fell apart, I'd never been part of the happy rainbow tribe.

  Feeling their eyes on me, I turned to look at Colleen and Chip.

  "What?"

  "You hitting the swill again?" Chip asked, leaning in close enough to smell my breath.

  I pulled away from him with a scowl. "I can have positive thoughts."

  "Leave her alone, Chip."

  "Thank you, Colleen," I said but spoke too soon.

  "If she's drinking again, I think I like her better this way. Let's not discourage her."

  "Fine. I'm not full of booze, I'm full of shit. It's freaking me out, too." I pointed a free hand in their direction, "And, for the record, this is the last time I'm going to put out any effort for false optimism. It's a complete waste of energy if you two are going to refuse to drink the Kool-Aid."

  I looked over at the two of them, hoping to see perfectly chastised faces. But they weren't looking at me. Their eyes were huge saucers and they both let out blood curdling screams. I whipped my head around to see a huge twenty-foot tall man ahead of us, just before we drove into him.

  I slammed on the breaks and jerked the wheel to the right, which was probably the worst thing I could've done. Hey, it's not like I had truck driving experience. The trailer, even empty, added too much weight and kept pushing forward until the cab was jackknifed and the entire truck, with us in it, was thrown onto its side.

  I'm not sure how long I was knocked out for, but Colleen and Chip were still unconscious when I woke, piled underneath me like a lumpy bed. I was hoping they were only unconscious.

  I took a deep breath and decided I should see if the giant was still there before I checked for pulses. If he was, it might not matter if they were alive anyway.

  One of them moaned as I moved off them. "Sorry," I said to their limp forms as I tried to avoid stepping on
them any further. The window was closed but at least it had a manual window opener. I pulled myself up and took a look in the direction of where he had been. He was gone but I knew that all three of us hadn't been delusional. He'd been there.

  One issue hopefully gone, at least right now, but three more took its place. I had two unconscious changed in the cab of an overturned truck which was now smoking.

  Ducking back into the cab, I knelt as close as I could without stepping on limbs.

  "Chip? Colleen?"

  I put my fingertips to Chip's throat first and felt a steady pulse. Colleen, much smaller than him, had unfortunately fallen onto the bottom of the heap, but had a steady pulse as well. She was sporting and egg sized bump on her forehead that was going to hurt like a son of a bitch when she eventually woke.

  "Chip!" I tugged at his arm, trying to pull him off Colleen's chest in the crowded space.

  Relief filled me as he groaned and I saw his eyelids start to flutter open. I tugged again and repeatedly called his name, trying to startle him out of his stupor.

  "What the hell happened?" he said as he came to, groggily.

  "We've got to get out of this truck. It's smoking."

  I could see those words wipe the last of the haze from his expression.

  "Shit," he said as he got a grip on our situation.

  I pulled myself up and sat on the side of the open window, my legs dangling through the opening. "Can you lift Colleen and hand her to me?"

  He stood awkwardly in the small space, his feet on the opposite door near Colleen's head. "You aren't supposed to move people who've been hurt. She might have a spinal injury."

  "Chip, I need a little common sense right now. If this truck blows, she won't have anything. PICK. HER. UP." I looked at the smoke, now a dirty grey and thicker, coming from where the engine was.

  He grabbed her and lifted her toward me. I repositioned myself, more dragging her out of the window, than lifting. Once Chip pulled himself out of the window, he tossed Colleen over his shoulder and we ran until there was a good fifty feet between us and the truck.