Thursdays in Savannah

by Olivia Gaines

  “No. I am telling you that when she chooses me, to not be a bitch about it.”

  He released his hand and backed away, slowly going down the stairs to his truck.

  Darwin knew he was on borrowed time. He liked that idea even less than he liked Jesse. Knowing he respected the man and what he did only intensified his anger. Jesse Orison was really good at this job and had, on the few interactions Darwin had with him on the job, taught him several things. He was the man who had taught his sweet Savannah to be nasty in bed.

  That, he could not respect.

  Chapter Thirty

  December

  Savannah was experiencing difficulty breathing. She sat straight up in the bed and found herself gasping for air. What day was it? Where am I? She reached out for Jesse, but he wasn’t there. She reached for the other side of the bed for Darwin, but he wasn’t there. Clouds poured into the ceiling and darkened the room, instilling trepidation and fear in her heart. She could hear her mother’s voice warning her again. “You have got to choose, Baby. You can’t keep playing with these men’s emotions.” Tossing and turning she tried to pull away. She heard footsteps as she ran blindly into the raindrops that were dropping horizontally to her chest.

  The drowning feeling wasn’t going away. The water was coming up over her head and her breathing was becoming laborious. She tried screaming for help, but no words came out. This was it. Savannah Niden, you are dying. Her last breaths were coming. She didn’t know whom she wanted to leave her last words to. “I love you so much,” she whispered as she began to surrender to the darkness.

  Jesse sat up in the bed and caressed her face. “Savannah. Wake up, Sweetheart, wake up, Baby.” He nudged her gently.

  She awoke with a start. He pulled her into his arms and held her close until she stopped trembling. “Jesse, I can’t go on like this. It’s killing me. I’m not sleeping, I’m barely eating, and the nightmares are getting worse.”

  “The nightmares are driven by fear, Savannah. What are you afraid of losing?”

  “You,” she said as tears began to fall from her eyes. “I don’t want to lose you.” There were a myriad of words, phrases, and logical statements he could interject into this scenario extolling his virtues and why she should choose him over Darwin, but he wouldn’t play into it. If she wanted him, he was here. If not, he would tuck his tail between his legs and move on.

  Tonight he would just hold her and fantasize a few more times that he had come home from work to his beautiful wife.

  It was one week until Christmas and Savannah looked like hell. Darwin was nice enough to point it out to her over dinner with his mother. Mrs. Finney expressed genuine concern. “You may need to see your physician, dear. Is the new position too much for you?”

  It was the hatred she had seen in Darwin’s eyes that had her worried. It was making her sick and she knew something had to be done. Emurial refused to discuss any of it with her. “I raised you better than to do what you are doing, girl.”

  “Mother, I love them both in very different ways,” she tried to explain.

  “Sweetheart, which one will make a good husband and father? More importantly, which one makes you the happiest?”

  It was about more than just feeling happy. It was about building a life with a man who would not run off and leave her to raise two small children, a man who would not die at 42 and leave her in a ton of debt, as her father had done with them.

  “It’s time for you to have a conversation with them both.”

  Savannah agreed. She would start with Jesse.

  Chapter Thirty - One

  Jesse arrived at the house two days before Christmas carrying a box with holes in it. “Don’t shake it or drop it, please,” Jesse told her as Savannah took the box and sat down on the couch. Slowly, she lifted the lid to reveal a beautiful all white Birman kitten. Savannah immediately fell in love with the little beauty.

  “What should I name her?” she asked Jesse.

  He smiled at her. “How about Thursday?”

  The pretty kitten immediately took to Savannah, who planted kisses on her head. Jesse took a seat next to her. “You have to choose, Savannah. I have a busy year ahead of me and I want you at my side. I want to come home to you every day, not just on Thursday.”

  She looked at him with tears in her eyes. He could see the fear. He needed to know what was she so afraid of, why he could not get her to say yes. The question was asked and she answered, “It’s the children, Jesse, and being hungry.” She explained that her childhood had been horrible. She looked different than the other kids, had a different grade of hair, and that made her a target.

  “I was fifteen before I felt like I belonged anywhere. I don’t want that for my children. I want them to fit in.”

  “That is dumbest thing I have ever heard! Our children will have confidence in who they are because we will teach them. We will teach them understanding and tolerance. Our children will be magnificent. They will be smart, wise, considerate, and charitable because that is what we will teach them. They will know both sides of their heritage because our families will share in their upbringing.”

  Her tears were more than he could handle. “I love you, Savannah. I am asking you to choose me. Choose me because you love me and you want to build a life together. Pick me because you want to go to bed at night beside me and wake up to me for the rest your life.”

  “Jesse, you don’t understand what it is like to struggle for every dime and meal and have the money to keep the lights on.”

  “I understand that as man and wife, there may be times when we will have peanut butter sandwiches for dinner because it is all we have. I understand that in winter we may have to burn the wood fireplace so we can make the payment on the house and your fancy car. I understand that we may have to forgo a cruise one year because little Sahara will need braces or Daniel’s athletic dues will put us in a pinch, but as man and wife, we climb those mountains together. We do what we have to do to move forward.”

  She said nothing. “My father died and left us in a world of debt that my mother had no clue he had. My sixteen-year-old brother became a man and took on a full time job while in school to help pay the bills. I have been hungry more times than I care to imagine. I am trying to be fair, but I must look out for my future and my aging mother.”

  Jesse jumped up from the couch. “Don’t you dare talk to me about fair, Savannah!” Her eyes grew wide in disbelief as his face turned red with anger.

  “You invited me inside! You pulled this lost boy into your tree house of treasures. You fed me, nurtured me, cared for me, and loved me like I have never been loved. You cooked me breakfast before packing my lunch and fortifying me for another week. Now you want to chop off my hand and feed it to a croc and tell me I can’t have any of this? That is unfair, Savannah! You are unfair, and you are the bad guy!” Jesse placed one hand on his hip, rolled his neck, and pointed a finger at her.

  Savannah was trying to process everything he had said, but what bothered her was his delivery. “Did you just sister girl me?”

  Jesse’s eyes got wide and he rolled his neck again, smacking his lips. Savannah found his reaction more disturbing than his constant references to the JM Barrie story.

  “You do realize in that story that those kids are dead, and Peter is the angel leading them to heaven, right, which is why the boys never aged?”

  “I know that, Savannah, and it is how I feel with you. I want it all. What you are asking for in return is nothing. You want the house? Fine, you can have the house if I have to build it gosh damned myself. I will work side projects to get you the car, if those are your main concerns, but those are not the factors that make up a good marriage. And anyone that convinces you otherwise is lying to you. I don’t want a trophy wife or some dullard who spends her days shopping and watching TV. I want a wife that loves me, someone I can talk to, share ideas and build something with, and a woman that I can love back.”

  Savannah had nothing more to sa
y on the matter right now. She wanted time to think about what she needed to decide.

  He helped her with her decision. “I will step out of the picture. You have until the end of January. On February 1st, I will move on if I have not heard from you.”

  He planted a kiss on her forehead. “Have a Merry Christmas.” He walked to the door, and looking back at her with somber eyes reminded her, “You have the number.”

  Jesse sat in the room with his parents, watching nothing in particular as his folks opened their presents. Savannah had given him a box that he hadn’t bothered to open when he was with her. Emotions consumed him like a pit of black ooze clambering up his leg, overtaking his breathing, and it was taking a concerted effort to maintain some calmness in front of his parents. He opened the box to remove two new fishing poles, a pair of moisturizing socks, some new cologne, and a shirt in the funny blue color she liked. What if she doesn’t choose me?

  It was his first moment of doubt. Tired fingers massaged his eyes as he conceptually tried to put together a plan to move on if he wasn’t going to be her husband. There was no room in his mind to be her boyfriend, her lover, or a continuation of Thursday nights. If she agreed and picked him, he would marry her the next week. Darwin the dumbass had waited a year and look where it got him. His thoughts went back to the guy in the parking garage, salivating and choking on his own saliva while holding onto his nuts.

  I know how you feel, Buddy.

  Darwin was not happy as the conversation started. The tone in her voice told him she was letting him go. Her platitudes and pleas for understanding were a joke to him. She had broken a promise.

  “We must be honest with each other, Darwin,” she told him. “We don’t have a great deal in common.”

  “What does commonality have to do with marriage?” he asked incredulously.

  Savannah removed his ring and placed it back in the box he had given her. “What we have in common is critical to our beliefs as a couple and the glue that would hold us together when times get rough.”

  “You are not marrying me because you think I don’t believe in that principle?”

  Savannah touched his arm. “No. I am not marrying you because you don’t believe in me.”

  Darwin stood, staring at her, trying to figure out what to say. He had nothing. She was right. Almost everything she thought or chose, he would question or correct her.

  “I understand.”

  Was this a trick?

  “I wish you the best, Savannah, but I have to know.” He took a second before asking her. “Did you ever love me?”

  She embraced him fully, with sincerity and with love said, “I still do and always will.”

  “You were just never in love with me?”

  She shook her head no. There was no need to explain that no matter how much she tried or believed they would eventually grow in love, it was never going to happen. Darwin, you are an ass. “I will give you back the money for the dress when I get to the bank after the holidays.”

  He placed a kiss on her forehead. “No need, keep it as a gift from me. I hate that I will never get to see you in that dress, but ...” His words trailed off.

  This was unlike Darwin and Savannah was nervous, and even he sensed it. “I know, it is unlike me, but I honor my agreements.”

  Savannah’s stomach lurched as she asked, “What agreement and with whom?”

  “With Jesse,” Darwin told her, as he put on his coat.

  The vein in her right temple throbbed as she clenched her teeth, trying to sound far calmer than she was. “What agreement would that be, Darwin?”

  “If you chose him, I wouldn’t be a bitch about it,” he told her as he slipped on his neck scarf.

  “And if I had chosen you?” She wanted to know.

  He slipped the ring into his coat pocket as he opened her front door. “He would let me keep my job.”

  And there it was.

  Jesse understood Darwin far better than she ever had. He knew what was important to the man and sadly now, so did Savannah. However, the burgeoning question was what was essential to how she wanted to live her life.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  It was the longest month of Savannah’s life. She broke it off with Darwin on New Year’s Eve so she could start the next day with a fresh year and a fresh perspective. He was snarky that she had chosen Jesse when she admitted, “I have not chosen him over you. I have chosen me.”

  That is what she told herself as she moped around the lab for three weeks trying to sort through her misguided notions about what truly went into a solid relationship. Her mother banned her from the house until she was able to find her smile, but it was Jerwane that helped her decide. “He loves you and you love him. You were at your best when you were seeing that big handy man.”

  “Jerwane, at one point I was convinced that I needed a man to take care of me, look after me, and make sure that I ate, had a roof over my head, and would be able to drive that car, have that house, and be a part of all the right social circles. After spending some time with Jesse, I realized I don’t need that, but I am not sure what I need now, you know?”

  Jerwane paused and took his little sister in his arms. He had spent a lifetime shielding her from the harshness of the world, including mean girls who wanted to pull her hair. He had sheltered her from nasty boys who wanted in her pants. Jerwane had even protected her when they had come home from school to find their father dead in his sleep. Savannah had stopped smiling after that and it wasn’t until her time with Jesse that she had started laughing again. She walked around the world with eyes sharpened to every detail, yet her face registered nothing. To understand her, a person had to read her eyes. Jesse was able to do that and bring out a playful side in his sister.

  “You need to be happy. I miss seeing you happy. I don’t like you like this.” He gulped at the bile rising in his throat as his mind formed the words he was about to say, “Call him and go get your molecule scrambling on, girl!”

  She laughed, smushed his face, and picked up the phone.

  He answered on the third ring, and she spoke soft words in the phone, “Are you ready to come home, Lost Boy?”

  Jesse was smiling from ear to ear. “No, it is time to bring you to our home. Pack for a week and I will pick you and the cat up on Friday.”

  “Jesse?”

  “Yes, Savannah.”

  “I’ve missed you.”

  “I’ve missed the hell out of you as well, my lovely.”

  On Friday evening, she and Thursday were packed and ready to go. Where they were going was uncertain, but she was starting a life with Jesse. Jerwane had agreed to move in and take over the payments of her condo, taking care of two birds with one stone. Jesse arrived at 6 pm sharp, still in work clothes and looking sexy as hell. Do we have time for one before the road?

  “Hey, Science Girl,” he greeted her, removing his gloves and wrapping his arms around her.

  He smelled so good. Her body awoke and wanted to play. She grabbed her coat, but he was looking about the place, visually cataloguing what was in the condo.

  “Before we leave this house, I have one question for you, Savannah.” He lowered himself to one knee.

  “I never got a chance to ask before. I had all of these speeches prepared, with cute catch phrases worked out, but in the end, all I want to know is, will you marry me?”

  He held her left hand, toying with the ring he had given her months prior. His blue eyes were gazing up at hers, which were holding tears brimming at the rims.

  “Yes. Yes, I will marry you.”

  He had not moved. His eyes were darting back and forth. Was he stuck on the floor?

  “No, Savannah, I mean will you marry me, like next week? Darwin waited a year, but I am not going to do that. If you are going to marry me, I want it done next week.”

  “But what about the wedding?”

  “You can plan the wedding for whenever you want, but Monday, I want to do the blood tests and on Wednesday or
Thursday, hit the courthouse. You can have your pastor meet us or I can call mine, or we can use whichever one is milling about the courthouse.”

  He was serious. She stared into his unflinching blue eyes.

  “Oh, my God, you are serious!”

  “I am not getting up from here and we are not walking out that door until we settle this.”

  Savannah’s head was spinning. “Okay. It’s settled. Yes, I will marry you.”

  “When?” he asked.

  “Next week is fine by me or would you like to fly off to Vegas and do it tomorrow?’

  He stood up slowly. “No, next week is just fine.” The softness in his eyes caressed her more gently than his hands ever did. “I love you, Savannah.”

  “I love you, too, Jesse.” She wanted him right now, but he only kissed her briefly and collected her bag while she carried Thursday in the kitty case.

  He had cleaned his truck, and he loaded them up and began the drive down I-65. Next week, she would be his wife.

  They chatted briefly about the past month and she confessed she let Darwin go on New Year’s Eve. Jesse understood her need to take the time to sort through the raw emotions, but it took three weeks for her to call.

  “I needed to make sure. I am in love with you. I can’t imagine my life without you and I knew that I wanted to give you pretty, smart children with exceptional taste in furniture.”

  He laughed and reached across the seat to hold her hand as he drove. His cell phone chirped and he pushed the button on the steering wheel, making the call come through the truck speakers.

  “Hey, Big Bro, did you ask?” It was Mary Kate.

  “I did.”

  “And?”

  “She is sitting right here next to me, and we are headed home.” Mary Kate squealed in delight.

  “Oh my goodness, I am going to have a sister. Welcome to the family, Savannah!” The next words were a run-on sentence and Savannah mumbled in between the barrage of adjectives and expletives Mary Kate flung at her.