I Never Expected You

by Stefanie Jenkins

Who the fuck is Erin?

  “Yes, you and Haylee, dumbass.”

  Do I tell him the truth? Knowing that the truth will take longer, I choose to go with a lie. “Nothing. We’re just friends.”

  Kyler shakes his head. “Yeah, no, I don’t buy that.”

  He doesn’t take his eyes off me, knowing that I just lied my ass off. Shit, guess my cover is blown. I let out a loud breath.

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Why don’t you start from the beginning?”

  I throw my head back in a sad excuse for a laugh. “Yeah, that would probably take all day, and I need to head over and pick up Haylee soon, so how about the short version?”

  He nods.

  “I…I…I can’t explain it. I’ve known her since she was born. I don’t know how to explain it, but something happened back in December when we were at the cemetery, and since then I can’t get her out of my fucking head.” I stand up in frustration, not at him but myself, at the situation. “I don’t know what I’m doing. No matter how much I’ve tried not to think about her, I just can’t.”

  “Is that why you were avoiding her after the break?”

  I nod. “Was it that obvious?”

  He shrugs and places his coffee cup in the sink. “I mean, a little, but it was more the weird way you blew off that Hannah chick at the bar. I’ve known you a year and have never seen you turn down pussy, minus that bartender.”

  I run my hands down my face and grunt. “I know. Ever since I started seeing her differently, I haven’t had sex with anyone but myself.”

  Kyler chokes on air and bursts out laughing. In between his laughter, he manages to get out, “Well, that’s good to know…I guess. Actually, no, I feel like maybe there should be some things we as friends and roommates maybe, ya know, keep to ourselves. Like maybe our sex lives—or, well, in your case, lack of.”

  He chuckles. What an asshole. I knew I shouldn’t have told him the truth. I’m never going to hear the end of it, I’m sure.

  I roll my eyes at him and get up to leave, but he stops me. “Okay, in all seriousness, though, have you talked to her about it?”

  I look down at my feet, knowing that nothing is ever going to come of this if I don’t talk to her about it. I wish I had the slightest clue as to what to say. This area is not my specialty.

  “I’m going to take your silence as that’s a big no. You want my advice?”

  “Even if I say no, I’m pretty sure you’re going to give it anyway.”

  He flips me the middle finger. “Just for that, never mind.”

  He goes to leave, and I grab his arm. “I’m sorry. What’s your advice? At this point, I’ll take anything. I’m in way over my head here. I’m not this guy, but she…she makes me want to be.”

  Kyler steps back as if he can’t believe what he’s hearing. Fuck, I can’t believe that I’m even saying this. Who am I and what did I do with Zach Jacobs?

  “Wow, you’re kinda desperate, aren’t you?”

  He has no fucking clue.

  “Just talk to her. For all you know she could be feeling the same thing and is just as weirded out that it’s, well, you.”

  “I don’t know. Maybe. But thanks.” I look at my phone. “Shit, I gotta go. Thanks for the chat.”

  As I walk toward the door to grab my keys, I hear Kyler mumble, “Sure sounds like she’s knocked you on your ass,” as he walks back into his room.

  Woah. In a bit of a déjà vu moment, I remember back to the talk Emmett and I had. No, that couldn’t be it. There’s no way. I remember his words as clear as day: “You’ll find her, and you’ll just know. She’s gonna knock you on your ass.”

  Could I have already met her?

  Pushing the thoughts from my head, I head over to the dorms, thoughts of our last talk still swirling around in my head, and I am almost knocked on my ass—literally—when Haylee opens the door. Not only is she absolutely breathtaking, but at some point since I last saw her, she changed her hair color. I am taken aback by this gorgeous blonde bombshell staring at me and am rendered speechless for the first time in my life.

  “Holy shit.”

  Well, that’s one way to greet someone. Concerned that I have something on me, I frantically pat my clothing, checking for something, anything that causes a reaction like that. When I threw this outfit together because he said “comfortable,” I didn’t think it looked that bad. Maybe I was wrong. Perhaps he should give a little more heads-up next time.

  Looking around, I say, “Do I have something on me?”

  My eyes meet his, and his blank stare fills with confusion. “No, why?”

  I stop feeling around. “Then why did you say ‘holy shit’ as soon as I answered the door?”

  “Oh no.” He steps closer, and his fingers glide over my new hair.

  Oh right, I forgot he hadn’t seen me since I went to the salon the other day. I had just needed a change. At Cami’s suggestion, I made an appointment with her stylist and here we are. It has for sure taken some getting used to. Every time I look in the mirror, it’s as if I don’t recognize the person looking back at me.

  “You just…” I can tell he’s searching for the right words.

  I instantly worry that he is going to say he doesn’t like it, which is a weird feeling because why do I care what he thinks? But he catches me off guard with the word he chooses to describe it.

  “You look…I mean—damn, you’re beautiful.”

  I can feel my cheeks warm at his compliment. He’s never called me beautiful before. I’ve also never known him to stumble with his words like that. Am I just imagining all of this? He hasn’t backed up yet, and my heart begins to race with his closeness. I take in his scent of cedarwood and pear. Our eyes meet for a moment before he backs up, letting go of my hair, as if something scared him. That was weird.

  He clears his throat. “Ready to go?”

  “Yep. You told me to be ready in an hour, so here I am, ready for you.” I dramatically pose for him before breaking into a fit of giggles.

  He snickers before turning his face away from me, but not before I notice his eyes darken. Was it something I said?

  I reach for the door and close it. “You’re really not going to tell me where we’re going, are you.”

  “Nope. Not at all.” His smile is as wide as it can be, and it gives me the weirdest feeling in my stomach. Sure hope it wasn’t something I ate.

  I loop my arm through his as we walk toward his Jeep. At first, it was hard to ride in the vehicle, knowing that my brother had the same one, but I honestly couldn’t see Zach driving anything else. It suits him.

  We drive for almost an hour. I have no clue where he’s taking me, and after the third time he denies my asking, I give up. I focus out the window, listening to the music playing, and see signs for Wilmington, Delaware. Are we headed to the ocean? That seems kind of random. I know it’s a beautiful day, but a little too chilly for being at the beach, and we definitely didn’t bring any swimsuits. Here’s hoping he at least knows where he’s going since I have no idea.

  Zach parks into a random parking lot and turns the Jeep off. He hops out while I’m still trying to gather my bearings. The passenger door opens, and I am completely shocked to see him offering to take my hand to help me out. Although his hands are rough and calloused from working out, his touch is soft and comforting. He closes the door upon my exit, and I once again link my arm through his.

  “So, are you going to tell me now?”

  “You’ll see.”

  “Zachary Brian Jacobs, just tell…” But I finally see where we are. The words I wanted to shout at him have flown completely out of my mouth. He has rendered me speechless.

  “Oh my God! Is this a carnival? You brought me to a carnival?” I launch myself into his arms, thankful that he is quick on his feet and doesn’t fall back as he catches my weight.

  My arms wrap around his neck, and I feel his body stiffen at first. Oh great, he’s uncomfortable being this clo
se to me. I slowly start to back away and slide down off him, but his hands lightly touch my hips to keep me in place against him. Our bodies are so close I can smell the mint on his breath. I’m not sure how long we stare at each other, lost in each other’s eyes.

  I’m overcome with emotion. I can’t believe he did this for me. I’m the first to break our staring contest. There are those feelings again in my stomach—if this were anyone else besides Zach, I would say they were butterflies, but that would be insane for me to get those around him. Right?

  I look around us and take it all in. Turning back to face him, I can feel tears fighting to breach the surface. Every summer, the four of us would go with our parents to the local firehouse carnival. It was a tradition. There was one year where I was sick, so our parents had decided to skip it. However, Dani and I were so upset that the following week after I was better, our parents drove two towns over to go to the next one. That’s one thing I miss about small-town living—the family fun-filled carnivals and mostly the funnel cake. Oh my, I hope they have it here. Lost in my memories, I don’t even realize that the tears have spilled over.

  “Hails, you’re crying. Shit, I fucked this up, didn’t I?” He cups my face, brushing his thumb along my cheek and wiping the fallen tears away in such a soothing manner. It is the same soothing touch that comforted me at the cemetery.

  I shake my head. “No, this is amazing. Seriously, I can’t believe you did this. I don’t know why you went through all this trouble.”

  He grips the back of his neck and chews on his bottom lip, and his eyes meet mine again. They are full of innocence and vulnerability, a look I am not used to seeing on him.

  “It’s been hard lately on both of us, especially you. Don’t think I haven’t noticed, Hails.”

  I feel as though my heart actually skips a beat.

  “I notice everything about you.”

  Why does that admission make me want more with him? This is Zach we’re talking about. I think I’ve been letting Cami get in my head too much—Zach and I are friends. All I have to do is keep telling myself that and I’ll eventually believe it.

  He continues. “I just thought getting us out of the city and having a little fun would be good for both of us. I know how much carnivals mean to you.”

  I reach up on my toes and kiss his cheek. He leans into my touch, and the feel of my lips against his skin, it’s almost electrifying. It’s not like I haven’t ever kissed his cheek before, but this time, it feels different. This is insane.

  Shaking this feeling off in the hopes I can forget about it and have a great time after he went through all this trouble, I extend my arm toward the entrance. “Shall we?”

  He smiles, and my knees go a little weak and the sensation of falling takes over.

  “Woah, you okay?”

  “Yeah, umm, I must have tripped over my foot or something. You know I’m so clumsy.”

  Fuck, what was that? God, he must think I’m such a fucking idiot. Now that I have my bearings, we walk toward the entrance, and of course when I pull my wallet out, Zach swats my hand away.

  “No, this was my idea, so my treat. Put your money away.”

  “You’re crazy; I can pay for myself, you know.”

  “I know, but I just told you I’ve got this. Buy us a funnel cake inside, okay?”

  My eyes light up, my mouth waters, and my stomach growls just at the mention of a funnel cake, the best food invented, like ever.

  “You got it.”

  As we walk through the entrance, I am transported back to being a kid and blink the memories away. Today is not a day to mourn the losses we have faced over the last fourteen months. Zach went through all this trouble; the least I can do is enjoy myself and not make a complete fool out of myself, yet again.

  “What do you wanna do first?” The sound of his voice brings me back to the present.

  “All of it!” I jump up and down because I can’t believe we’re actually here. The excitement I feel overpowers the sadness.

  He throws his head back in laughter at my response.

  “Okay, how about funnel cakes because I don’t even remember the last time I ate one, and if I don’t get one in me soon, I’m gonna go savage on your ass.”

  He sarcastically places his hand on his chest. “Well now, we can’t have that, can we?”

  I nod, and Zach leads me over to the concession stand. His hand gently presses against my lower back, sending a shiver up my spine. I quickly catch my breath and hope he doesn’t notice.

  The funnel cake tastes even better than I remember. I’m pretty sure I made noises that one shouldn’t make when eating food and definitely shouldn’t make in public. Of course, when it was our time to order, Zach went back on his word and wouldn’t let me pay for them either.

  With stomachs full of funnel cakes and fresh-squeezed lemonade, we head over to play games. My mind is seriously playing tricks on me today. While playing the ring toss, I watch how defined Zach’s jaw is while he concentrates. Defined jaws are so sexy—how have I never noticed that before? Of course, I miss every shot.

  During the baseball throwing game, my gaze lowers as I watch his muscles flex against his black Henley. The way his sleeves cling to him is sending all sorts of feelings to places they have never been before, at least not in the presence of Zach. I completely zone out most of the game, imagining what it would be like to run my hands up and down his strong muscles.

  “Oh look, they have the water gun horse race game. Isn’t that your favorite?”

  The sound of his voice brings me back to the present. That game was more Emmett’s favorite, but he always let me win, so I said that it was my favorite. I’m sure if either of them had ever played to full potential, I would not have won as much as I did.

  “Aww, those are so cute.” I notice the teddy bears hanging.

  “Well, let’s get you one.” He smiles, and my insides are liquid.

  Am I the only one feeling this?

  A younger kid joins us. We take our positions, and the bell rings. I focus everything I have in aiming the gun at the target.

  DING. Son of a bitch. The little motherfucker. The kid who came up last minute to join won and won’t stop talking shit. This kid is seriously killing my mood. I get up to walk away and feel Zach’s hand grip my arm, stopping me in my tracks.

  “One more try,” Zach tells the carnival attendant, handing him another dollar. “You’re going down, punk.”

  He directs his attention to the little kid that won’t stop running his mouth that he won. What the hell, where are his parents? I sit back down.

  All the saliva in my mouth instantly dries, forcing me to feel parched at just the feel of his arms wrapped around me. What is happening right now? Zach takes my hands and wraps his fingers around mine, ready to aim the water gun at the target. Zach leans in. His head is directly against mine. I can smell the mint on his breath from his gum.

  “You ready, Hails?”

  I can feel his breath against my ear. His body is pressed up against mine so that our hearts beat the same rhythm. I try to control myself so I can focus, but him being this close is doing all sorts of things to me right now. I can’t even explain it. The starting bell rings again, and Zach’s hands tighten around mine as he focuses.

  “We won!”

  “Of course we did. Did you doubt me? We make the perfect team.” Zach hands me the black teddy bear with the red heart on his left paw that the guy behind the counter gave him.

  “You know, Jacobs, if I didn’t know any better, I would say this was a date.” I let out an awkward laugh. Let’s get real—me on a date with Zach Jacobs? Ha!

  There is something I see in his eyes…I can’t describe what it is, but at that moment, I start to realize that maybe all of this—the feelings, the moments, the lost looks—all of it is not just me. Perhaps there is a possibility that he feels this too.

  “Go on the Ferris wheel with me.”

  “Umm…I’m sorry, are you nuts?”
I look at him as if he has lost his mind.

  He says he notices everything about me, but does the fact that I don’t do well with heights entirely skip his mind?

  “I promise to protect you.”

  I expect him to laugh, but he doesn’t. I see that seriousness in his eyes again. Something that I’ve never noticed before tonight. Damn it, Cami, for getting into my head. Something about the tone and seriousness of his voice makes me believe his statement.

  I swallow as a new flash of nerves comes over me. As I try to get my anxiety under control, my body betrays me, and I nod in agreement. How is it that he can get me to agree to him about this as if I can’t say no to him? We walk the short distance to where the Ferris wheel is, and with each step, I try to come up with a reason not to do this. It isn’t until his hand finds its way back to my lower back, applying the slightest pressure as if reassuring me that it will be okay, that my nerves start to dissipate.

  Once situated in the bucket seats, the bear between us, the ride begins to move backward and my heart just about stops. My grip on the bar tightens to the point where my knuckles are turning white.

  “Hey, come here.” Zach extends his arm and nods his head in his direction for me to scoot in closer to him. I slowly do so in hopes I don’t move the seat. The Ferris wheel comes to a quick stop, of course, when we are at the very top. Fuck my life. I bury my face in Zach’s chest and tighten my grip around his waist. I breathe in his masculine scent, and it instantly calms my nerves. Shit, he smells good.

  “Hey, it’s okay. I’ve got you, babe.”

  He just called me babe, and I’m not freaking out. It is actually an opposite feeling—as if it was natural and he had been doing it for years. His thumb rubs my shoulder as he pulls me closer into his chest. His voice calms me in a way that I would have never imagined. Is this what it was like for Dani and Emmett? This is ridiculous to think that Zach and I could have that.

  I look up and find him already staring at me. His blue eyes are looking deep within me, and it ignites something in me. It’s in that very moment that I am willing to finally admit the truth that I don’t want him to let me go. These arms are the arms I want to be wrapped up in; I want to be lost looking in his eyes and for his smile to make me weak in the knees. I can’t be the only one feeling this. What this is I’m feeling, I don’t know, just that something has changed between us.