Awesome Dog 5000
Page 1
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 2019 by Justin Dean
Excerpt from Awesome Dog 5000 vs. Mayor Bossypants (Book 2) copyright © 2019 by Justin Dean
All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Random House Children’s Books, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York.
Random House and the colophon are registered trademarks of Penguin Random House LLC.
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Dean, Justin, author.
Title: Awesome Dog 5000 / Justin Dean.
Other titles: Awesome Dog five thousand
Description: First edition. | New York: Random House, [2019] | Summary: When video game fanatic Marty, ten, arrives in a new town, his worst fear is being labeled a “dork” until the robotic dog he found catches the attention of a mad scientist.
Identifiers: LCCN 2018033232 | ISBN 978-0-525-64481-1 (trade) | ISBN 978-0-525-64483-5 (lib. bdg.) | ISBN 978-0-525-64482-8 (ebook)
Subjects: | CYAC: Robots—Fiction. | Dogs—Fiction. | Adventure and adventurers—Fiction. | Schools—Fiction. | Popularity—Fiction. | Moving, Household—Fiction. | Science fiction.
Classification: LCC PZ7.1.D3985 Awe 2019 | DDC [Fic]—dc23
Ebook ISBN 9780525644828
Random House Children’s Books supports the First Amendment and celebrates the right to read.
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Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Chapter 1: Once Upon a Time in the Future
Chapter 2: Where the Story Really Starts
Chapter 3: The Not-to-Do List
Chapter 4: First Day, Worst Day
Chapter 5: “D”–Feated
Chapter 6: The Zeroes Club
Chapter 7: The Kwon Family Tree
Chapter 8: Fun Facts About Ralph
Chapter 9: Game Time
Chapter 10: The A.W.S.M. 5000
Chapter 11: Finally, It’s the Part of the Story with the Rocket Jets, an Evil Dude, and a Rescue Mission (Took Long Enough, Sheesh!)
Chapter 12: Dr. Crazybrains’s Birthday Party
Chapter 13: Dog Tricks
Chapter 14: The Perfect Evil Revenge Plan
Chapter 15: (Mis)Step #3
Chapter 16: No More Mr. Ice Guy
Chapter 17: The Mom Problem
Chapter 18: A Very Top-Secret Operation
Chapter 19: House Hunting
Chapter 20: Mayor Sweetcheeks of Fancy Town
Chapter 21: A Twisted Tale of Serious Evil
Chapter 22: From Zeroes to Heroes
Chapter 23: The Re-Revenge Plan
Chapter 24: Boss Battle
Chapter 25: Full Power
Chapter 26: Escape from the Mansion
Chapter 27: Awesome Dog Version 2.0
Chapter 28: The Next Day at School
Chapter 29: Doghouse Secrets
Chapter 30: One Last Thing, One First Thing
Want to Help the Zeroes Club Search for Clues?
Excerpt from Awesome Dog 5000 vs. Mayor Bossypants (Book 2)
About the Author
This one is for Novak, my most awesome-est best friend
IT IS THE YEAR 3001, and the galaxy is at war….
For over one hundred years, Earth has been under attack from alien slime ninjas. The bad guys are winning. They have captured the president of Earth and are holding her prisoner in the center of their moon maze base. Only one hero can free her. That hero is Sheriff Turbo-Karate. The mission to save the universe starts now!
Sheriff Turbo-Karate used his jet boots to fly through the maze. First, he turned left. Then he turned right. Then he turned left—
And was laser-sliced by a slime ninja’s beam sword. It was a surprise attack! Sheriff Turbo-Karate took a direct hit through the chest. His cowboy hat popped off his head as he exploded into tiny specks of space dust!
The mission to save the universe starts now: Sheriff Turbo-Karate used his jet boots to fly through the maze. First, he turned left. Then he turned right. Then he took a second right—
And accidentally stepped in chewing gum. It was another trap! His boot stuck to the floor as bombs showered over him. Sheriff Turbo-Karate was blasted into the stars.
The mission to save the universe starts now: Sheriff Turbo-Karate used his jet boots to fly through the maze. First, he turned left. Then he turned right, then turned right again, jumped over the bubble gum, dodged the bomb shower—
And was zapped by a shrink ray. The alien slime ninjas caught him and held him prisoner in a stinky shoebox for the rest of his life.
The mission to save the universe starts now: Sheriff Turbo-Karate used his jet boots to fly through the maze. First, he—
Marty Fontana leaned back in his seat and set aside his video game, Sheriff Turbo-Karate. Marty was ten years old, had spiky yellow hair, and always wore red high-top sneakers. He was bored after trying to beat the moon maze level on his video game so many times. Marty had been riding in a moving van with his mom for hours. They were driving to his new house. Marty’s mom had recently been hired to start a different job—
Okay. Wait. Before we get too far ahead, there should be a warning to the reader.
If you expected some super-cool, action-packed start with rocket jets and an evil dude and a daring rescue mission, this story isn’t for you.* Our apologies if you were confused. Even though the title of the book is Awesome Dog 5000, this story is actually about a regular kid who moves into a boring old house and starts going to a new school.
And really, that’s about it.
* All the action-packed stuff with rocket jets, an evil dude, and a daring rescue mission starts later, like around chapter 11.
MARTY AND HIS MOM arrived at their new house, but it didn’t feel very new. Everything was covered in dust, like no one had been there for decades. The living room had towers of cardboard boxes filled with old science books, faded blueprints, and rusted tools.
“Who left all this stuff here?” Marty asked his mom.
“The last owner,” she said. “I heard he was some fancy-electric-toothbrush inventor. They said he created some super-toothbrush that brushed your hair and your teeth at the same time.”
A painting of the inventor hung above the fireplace. He was an old man with messy gray hair and a silly mustache. He was holding an electric toothbrush. It was strange. The whole house was strange.
This place didn’t feel like home to Marty. It made him miss his old house and his old friends. At his last school, Marty had a ton of friends, but he didn’t know anyone in this new town. It all made him worry about starting fifth grade somewhere different. He asked, “Mom, what if the kids here don’t like me?”
“Of course they will,” she said. “What’s not to like? You’re a cool dude who likes pizza and video games.”
Marty didn’t just like video games. He looooooved video games. His favorite video game was, obviousl
y, Sheriff Turbo-Karate. It had sweet old-school graphics, a great story, and up to four-player co-op. Plus, you could do secret combo attacks like:
That last combo Marty had found by accident. It didn’t actually hurt enemies, but it always made Marty laugh to watch the sheriff toot around the screen. Unfortunately, Marty wasn’t in a laughing mood today.
Marty’s mom saw her son’s frown. She could tell he was still nervous about school. She knelt down next to him and very sweetly asked, “Can I give you some advice, Marty?”
Marty nodded. His mom always knew how to help.
“Don’t overthink it. Just be yourself,” she said. Marty’s mom gave him a big hug. It made him feel a lot better. Then she told him, “I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?”
Marty thought of one very, very bad thing that could happen.
THERE IS ONE THING every kid fears when starting at a new school. It’s being called the dreaded “d” word. And, no, it’s not “dragonslayer,” or “dolphin trainer,” or even “dolly dressmaker.”
The “d” word is “dork.”
Everyone knows that if you’re called a dork—even once—you’ll be a dork forever. You’ll be known as a dork in elementary school, in middle school, in high school, and even when you’re old. Your grandkids will call you Grandpappy Dork and then point and laugh.
Being a dork also means it is impossible to ever make any friends. No one dares hang out with someone marked by the letter “d.” Dorkiness is like having the flu. Just being near a dork can spread the dorkiness and make people think you’re one as well. The “d” word is a lonely, friendless curse, and Marty refused to let it happen to him.
The morning of Marty’s first day of school, he got his backpack and school supplies ready. He sat down at his desk and brainstormed all the things that made someone a dork. He wrote a checklist of everything not to do.
It was three simple rules.
If Marty followed these rules, he would be dork-proof. He would make friends, be super cool, and never be made fun of by his grandkids. It was all Marty wanted.
Marty changed into his favorite Sheriff Turbo-Karate T-shirt and strapped on his backpack. He started his first day at his new school, Nikola Tesla Elementary.
And it went terribly.
THE SCHOOL BELL RANG, and class began. Marty’s teacher, Mrs. Taylor, called him to the front of the classroom and asked him to introduce himself to the other students. Marty was incredibly nervous. His stomach was doing flips, and his hands were sweaty. Instead of saying “Hi, my name is Marty Fontana,” he accidentally mixed up his words and said “Hi, my name is Farty Montana.”
The entire class burst into laughter and pointed at him for saying “Farty.” There went rule number one:
In gym class, they played basketball. It was the fifth graders versus the sixth graders. Marty was excited. Basketball was his favorite sport, and he was pretty good at it. During the game, he scored a few baskets, blocked some shots, and even stole a pass from the other team.
There was less than a minute left on the clock, and the score was tied: 30–30. The fifth graders had the ball and a chance to win it all.
Marty ran downcourt, and a teammate threw him the ball. All the sixth graders immediately swarmed Marty. He couldn’t get a clear shot or even make a pass. He’d have to use his b-ball skills to get to the basket before time ran out.
Marty faked right but ran left. He did a quick spin, circled back, dribbled behind his legs, and spun two more times. He broke past the defenders and aimed for the basket. Marty took the shot.
The basketball soared high into the air and hit the backboard. It dropped to the rim and wobbled on the edge. Then…tipped in with a swoosh.
The buzzer sounded. The game was over, and Marty had made the basket!
“YES!” Marty exclaimed. He jumped up into the air with a flying fist pump. He stuck his butt out and did a silly booty-shake dance to celebrate. All his teammates frowned at him like he was a wiggle-maniac with ants in the pants.
From across the court, a sixth grader yelled out to Marty, “Thanks for the help, new kid!” Then all the sixth graders high-fived each other.
The help? Marty thought. He gave a confused look at the scoreboard.
In the final seconds of the game, Marty had done so many spins and twists that he’d gotten turned around and had shot at the wrong basket. Marty hadn’t just won the game for the other team—he’d danced around like an idiot afterward, too.
Bye-bye, rule number two:
Next was lunch in the cafeteria. The lunch lady served Marty two scoops of gray slop with a side of greenish-brown goop. It smelled like food, but it definitely didn’t look like it. Marty took his tray of “food” and walked up to a table of kids. There was one empty seat left.
“Can I sit here?” Marty asked.
All the kids gave disgusted looks to Marty’s lunch slop. This was the cool kids’ table, and at this school, cool kids never ate cafeteria food.
They only ate sack lunches. Marty blew it.
That was his third strike:
“This new kid eats puke food!” said a boy wearing sunglasses. His name was Shades. Shades was the leader of the cool kids. He was so cool that he always wore sunglasses. He even wore them when he slept, so he would look cool in his dreams.
Shades said to Marty, “You don’t belong at this table. Get outta here, dork!”
A hush fell over the entire cafeteria. If you were watching a movie, this would be the part where the music goes:
Marty had been called the dreaded “d” word, and the whole school had heard it.
EVERY EYE in the cafeteria was focused on Marty. The other students were curious to see how the new kid would react to being branded a dork. Marty didn’t cry or yell out in anger. He just wanted to hide.
He searched the cafeteria for an open seat. He rushed from table to table but was denied every time. It was a series of “nope,” “no way,” “absolutely not,” and “AAAAAAH! Get away from us! You’re cursed!” Everyone treated Marty like he was a dork zombie looking for brains. No one wanted to risk his dorkiness spreading to their table.
After repeatedly being rejected, Marty finally gave up and stood by the trash can to eat his “food.” He had never felt so alone in his whole life. Marty wanted so badly to go back to his old home with his old friends, and never to come to this school again.
Just then a kid with square glasses and messy brown hair walked up. “Hey! You’re that new student!” he said.
Marty nodded. “Yeah. I’m the dorky new kid.”
“You seem pretty cool to me,” the boy said. “You told that hilarious joke in class about being named Farty. And you were awesome in gym! I passed you the ball for the last shot. You’ve got some amazing basketball skills. I’ve never seen a fifth grader dribble between his legs before.”
Marty was confused. He saw all the things he’d done earlier as mistakes, but this kid thought they were something to be proud of.
“If you’re not doing anything, you want to join a school club?” asked the boy in the glasses. “It’s a lot of fun, and we have our daily meetings during lunch.”
Marty wanted to jump up and down.
That was what he wanted to say. Instead, he was so shocked that all that came out of his mouth was “Uh…yup.”
Marty followed the boy in glasses across the cafeteria—all the way across the cafeteria. They walked and walked and walked to the farthest corner on the opposite side of the room. The journey was so long that Marty worried his milk would spoil into moldy yogurt.
The boys finally arrived at a wobbly old table with only three legs. There wasn’t any student meeting taking place. It was just a girl with swooshy black hair with a purple streak. A skateboard sat across her lap, and she was eating from a tray of cafeteria food.
“I, uh, thought you said this was a club?” Marty asked.
“It is,” the boy in glasses said. He held his arms out wide, smiled big, and announced, “Welcome to the Zeroes Club!”
EACH CAFETERIA TABLE at Nikola Tesla Elementary had a number painted on it. There were twenty tables in total.
Table #1 was considered the best because it was farthest from the watchful eyes of the on-duty teacher. The students who sat at table #1 could break school rules without being caught. They used their cell phones, traded homework answers, and drank soda. This, of course, was the cool kids’ table, where Shades and his friends ate their sack lunches.
At this school, you could tell how popular a group of friends were by where they sat. The lower the number, the cooler they were. So, for example, the state-champion soccer team was at table #3. All the creepy kids who had pet snails were stuck at #17.