Christmas Dinner of Souls

by Ross Montgomery

  He was looking at me. And maybe I was mad with terror – maybe I was even poisoned by wood smoke – but I swear on my life that he had no eyes. They were two gaping sockets in his head – just like the Beast.

  ‘My house,’ he whispered. ‘What have you done to my house?’

  I fled into the winter night, away from the house and the horrors inside it, and I didn’t stop running until dawn.

  *

  When the police finally found me the next day, I was collapsed in the snow by the side of the road, a gibbering wreck. I had run all night and I was mad with exhaustion. They had to give me a sedative to stop me screaming before they could take me to the hospital.

  When I finally came to, the police explained what had happened. My grandfather’s house had burned to the ground. My mother, father and brother had all escaped the fire in time – but not my grandfather. He had perished in the flames, along with all his possessions. The antiques, the paintings, the animals … they were completely destroyed. Nothing was left.

  ‘Was there anyone else in the house at the time?’ the police asked me. ‘Any other relatives, some servants, maybe?’

  I shook my head.

  Strange, said the police – we found another set of footsteps in the snow, you see, right beside yours. They led us right to you – in fact, it was almost like someone had been following you. But these other footsteps … well, they didn’t look like feet.

  They looked like someone had been walking on a set of sticks.

  Bloodrick finished his story to rapturous applause. The guests had stripped the pig down to its bare bones, and its skeleton swung murderously in the firelight. Lewis emptied two more bottles into their swaying glasses.

  You’re running out of time, he whispered to himself. Quick – you have to think of some way to get them fighting again! But how can you possibly escape without the Dean seeing …?

  The clock struck five. The Dean smashed the penultimate bauble and held up the piece of paper. There was a flicker of surprise on his face.

  ‘Well – here’s something unexpected. It seems our next storyteller is … Drybone Creathe. Our Advisor in Infernal Law!’

  The guests murmured uncertainly and turned to the end of the table.

  The man standing up was calm and quiet – after everything Lewis had seen that night, that seemed strange in itself. But the more you looked at him, the more you noticed how blank he was – he was like a darkened room that slowly reveals itself to be empty. There wasn’t a single trace of emotion on his face – not in his eyes, nor in his speech or movements. He hid one hand inside his shirt, clutching at his chest like something there pained him.

  The Cook booted open the doors. Balanced in his hands was the biggest Christmas pudding Lewis had ever seen: a vast black orb, towering over the guests like a dark moon. The Cook struggled under its weight, his already hunched back doubled over as he carried it to the table.

  ‘Well, boy?’

  Creathe’s voice was cold and grey as a tomb. He held out a burning torch.

  ‘Light it.’

  The guests cackled and rubbed their hands with glee. Lewis took the torch with shaking hands. He had no idea what was going to happen – whether the pudding was going to explode in his face, or if the torch would suddenly burn him to a crisp … perhaps he was going to be the final course, served up burnt and bubbling on a plate?

  The guests were silent with anticipation as Lewis approached the pudding. He held out the torch—

  Then stopped. The wooden table in front of him was slick with gin.

  I could set it on fire – just like in the last story! thought Lewis. This whole table would go up like a rocket! I could escape in the confusion and—

  From the other end of the table, the Dean caught his eye. He had the faintest smile on his lips – and he was shaking his head.

  No, boy.

  Lewis froze. The Dean knew exactly what Lewis was thinking – that he was trying to escape. And the worst part was, he wasn’t worried in the slightest. He was giving him a look that said: We’re not done yet.

  ‘Light the pudding, boy,’ said the Dean.

  Lewis held the torch to the pudding, and it erupted into flames. The heat that came off it was extraordinary: the air in the dining hall shimmered. Drybone Creathe’s cold, blank face was illuminated in the glare – but it still showed absolutely nothing.

  ‘I was a young man when I went to Cu Sith. I was working as a debt collector at the time. I never imagined that when I left that terrible island, I would be the one who came away with less than what I arrived with.’

  He winced – the hand clutched even tighter at his chest. The moment passed – the fire on the pudding slowly died. Creathe turned his back to the guests, and faced the fireplace.

  ‘There’s a prize inside the pudding. Whoever finds it can keep it – all I ask is that you listen to my story.’

  The guests tore frenziedly into the smoking pudding on the table, while Drybone told his tale to the fire.

  Black Dog

  I had just started in the debt-collecting business when my boss called me to his office. It was December 23rd: there was no one else left in the building. Outside a handful of carollers sang ancient songs in the fog.

  ‘I’ve heard good things about you, boy,’ said my boss, eyeing me over his polished desk. ‘They say nothing scares you. You can get money off anyone without breaking a sweat!’

  It was true – I had worked hard to earn my reputation. When people are frightened of you, they hand over their money much faster.

  ‘That’s exactly what I need for this next job,’ said my boss, leaning back in his chair. ‘It’s a tough one – very tough, in fact. Normally I wouldn’t ask someone so new to take it on, but all my best men are gone for the holidays.’ He thumped a fist on the desk. ‘Damn Christmas! You don’t have any plans, do you?’

  I was going to spend Christmas Day in my bedsit, poisoning the rats. ‘Nothing I can’t change, sir.’

  My boss nodded approvingly. ‘Good to hear it! We’ll put you on the next train up north before the railway shuts down for Christmas. You’ll be on the coast by tomorrow morning!’

  I was confused. ‘Coast, sir?’

  My boss turned to the window. I could see his face in the reflection, peering out the fog.

  ‘One of our oldest clients died last year. He owed us thousands – we’ve been trying to claim back what we can. We’re selling off all his assets, but we’re having trouble getting rid of one of the islands he owns – goes by the name of Cu Sith. Ever heard of it?’

  I shook my head.

  ‘Of course you haven’t!’ My boss laughed. ‘No one has – thirty miles off the cold north coast and nothing but water on every side as far as the eye can see. No streets, no trees … they don’t even have electricity, so far as I can tell. There’s only one family left, but it seems no one wants to buy the island while they’re still on it.’ He shuddered. ‘I’ve seen pictures of that godforsaken place. Why anyone would choose to live there is a mystery to me.’

  He started organising some papers.

  ‘I need you to travel to Cu Sith and evict the family straightaway – threaten them with some made-up legal action, that sort of thing. Afterwards you’ll have to stay on the island for a few days to make sure they don’t attempt to sneak back in the house. I’ll send a couple more men up on Boxing Day when the trains start running.’ He glanced at me. ‘Sure you don’t mind spending Christmas alone?’

  I shook my head. ‘I won’t let you down, sir.’

  My boss gave me a look.

  ‘Glad to see such enthusiasm. But be careful, boy – I doubt that family will take kindly to being kicked off their island on Christmas Eve. That far out in the middle of nowhere … well, no one will be around to help you if things turn nasty, let me put it that way.’

  Within the hour I was on the last train up north. It was deepest midwinter and a chilling fog clawed through the windows, turning the carriage int
o an icebox. The darkness outside grew thicker and heavier with every mile.

  I let the carriage rattle me back and forth and prepared for what was ahead of me. I tried to imagine Cu Sith – was it really as bad as my boss described? Should I have been more afraid?

  I clutched the revolver in my pocket. Normally I would never have taken it out of my bedsit – but something about the look on my boss’s face when he talked about the family had made me think twice about what I was getting into.

  *

  I arrived at the north coast early on Christmas Eve, and headed straight to the harbour. It was a small fishing village, and desperately poor.

  Perfect, I thought. That means more people willing to take me out at a moment’s notice. I might even be able to short-change them!

  But I was wrong. No one – absolutely no one – was willing to go to Cu Sith, no matter how much money I offered. At the first mention of the island the fishermen would stop the conversation.

  ‘No – we’ve got no business going there. And neither should you, if you know what’s good for you.’

  Then they would simply turn away. Nothing I could say would make them start talking to me again – it was like I was already dead.

  Finally, just when I was about to give up, a young fisherman came over to me.

  ‘They say you want to get to Cu Sith,’ he said.

  My eyes lit up. ‘Yes! Can you take me?’

  The fisherman looked at me warily.

  ‘What are you wanting with … that place?’

  I shifted on my feet. Something about the way he said ‘that place’ unnerved me.

  ‘I have business with the family,’ I explained. ‘I need to get there straightaway. I’ll pay you handsomely for it.’

  I showed him my full money clip. It was far more than I’d intended to pay, but at this point I was desperate. This young fisherman might well be the only person left who was willing to make the journey. I couldn’t let him get away.

  The fisherman looked at the money, his face torn. ‘I–I’ll take you. But we’ll have to leave right away. There’s a storm coming – I want to be back before it hits.’

  ‘You could always stay on Cu Sith till it passes,’ I suggested.

  I’ll never forget the look on the man’s face when I said it. Without another word, he turned round and walked away.

  We left immediately. Despite the approaching storm it was a calm morning, and the sea was as flat as glass as we sped out of the harbour. A winter sunrise had filled the sky behind us, sparkling on the waves like angels. I watched the mainland slip away for what felt like hours, amazed by how beautiful it was.

  In fact I was so transfixed that when the fisherman finally spoke it made me jump.

  ‘Up ahead.’

  I turned round – and was shocked by what I saw. The beautiful weather stopped instantly. The sky ahead was as grey as an unmarked gravestone: a blizzard covered the ocean as far as the eye could see. The waves reared up like dogs.

  Cu Sith.

  I could just make it out through the snow. It was as flat and grey as the sky: a patch of barren rock lashed by sea winds. It looked like the sun had never once shone on it.

  ‘People live here?’ I said in disbelief.

  The fisherman nodded gravely and pointed to the only house on the island. It was little more than a box, the same colour as the stones it stood on, dotted with grim little windows. But bigger than I expected – much bigger. Three whole floors above the ground, with an enormous chimney on the roof.

  ‘Good grief,’ I said. ‘It looks more like a church.’

  The fisherman scuffed his feet beside me. I got the feeling – not for the first time – that there was something he was desperate to ask me. It might well have been the only reason he agreed to take me on the journey in the first place.

  ‘Sir – forgive me for asking, but what business do you have here? What could you possibly want with those … people?’

  I sighed. It was time to tell him the truth.

  ‘You know the family that lives here?’

  The fisherman’s eyes darkened. ‘We all know them, sir.’

  I picked up my briefcase. ‘Well, I work for a company which owns Cu Sith. I’ve been asked to evict the family – that means ‘kick them out’ – and make sure they stay out. I’ll be staying in the house by myself until my colleagues arrive on Boxing Day morning. In fact – I have another job for you, if you’re interested.’

  I pulled another wad of banknotes from my briefcase, even bigger than the last one.

  ‘I need to get the family off the island as quickly as possible. If you take them back to the mainland for me, I’ll pay you treble what you’ve earned already. So long as you don’t mind waiting here for a little bit, I …’

  I trailed off. The fisherman had turned ghost-white – he was practically shaking. Without another word he threw the anchor overboard and heaved a plank of sodden wood between the rocks and the boat.

  ‘No – not interested!’ he cried. ‘You need to go – storm’s coming!’

  I was shocked by the sudden change in his manner. ‘I can offer you more if—’

  ‘NO!’

  For a moment, I genuinely thought he was going to strike me. I picked up my things and scurried across the plank as quick as I could. The fisherman sped away without so much as a glance behind him.

  I watched him go, stunned. He had been terrified – genuinely terrified. The suggestion of being anywhere near that family was enough to send him running.

  And now I was alone with them.

  I faced the giant house – and felt a clutch at my chest.

  They were there, standing outside. Waiting for me.

  I had never seen anything quite like them. There were six in total – a husband, a wife and four children. Clothed in rags, sick and dirty. Above all, they looked hungry – starving.

  That wasn’t the strangest thing about them. Their skin, their clothes, their eyes: they were all the same colour as the island. The dull, grey of ash and decay. The only exception was their lips: they were a bright, vivid red, like a deep slash in the middle of their faces.

  I wanted to run. I wanted to swim my way back to the mainland – but I knew I couldn’t. The blizzard was coming thick and fast. I had to stand my ground and get the family off the island, quick. I gripped the revolver in my pocket, wrapped my coat and scarf tight around me, and made my way to the house.

  Every footstep on the snow was like a gunshot – crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch – echoing out around me with impossible loudness. It seemed like it was the only sound in the world. The family stared at me in blank silence the whole time – no hatred, no curiosity, watching as I drew closer and closer.

  Finally I stood in front of them. The father was a giant: twice my size at least. His blood-red mouth hung open. He had no teeth.

  ‘What do you want?’ he growled.

  I cleared my throat. I couldn’t look afraid – not now.

  ‘I’m from a debt collection agency,’ I said. ‘We own the rights to Cu Sith and all the property on it – including your house. I have all the paperwork right here.’

  I considered taking a sheet out of my briefcase to show them – but changed my mind. I had no idea if the family could even read.

  ‘You need to leave the island immediately,’ I said. ‘You will show me inside the house, hand over the keys, and never return. From now on, all your property inside it belongs to the agency. Any refusal to leave will result in your immediate arrest, and … and …’

  The idiocy of what I was saying to them suddenly struck me. This family may never even have seen a police officer before – what would they care about a court of law? It was me against six of them – even with the revolver, I wouldn’t stand a chance if they attacked me. No wonder the fisherman had refused to stay – I was clearly in over my head. The handle of the gun felt wet and sticky in my hand.

  Then – just like that – the father pushed his youngest boy forward.


  ‘You heard the man, John. Show him inside.’

  I was shocked. I had expected refusal – shouting – violence. Not this.

  ‘Really? You’re sure you don’t mind leaving so—’

  ‘Be quick, John,’ said the father, cutting me off. ‘We have to leave before it gets dark.’

  John wordlessly took my hand and led me to the door. It was as simple as that – like they wanted me to take the island off them. I took one last, confused glance at the family – they stood exactly where I’d left them on the snow, watching me in silence like ghosts.

  I let John lead me through the house, room by room. Inside was even worse than I’d expected. The house had been built to withstand sea winds and brutal winters: there was no room for comfort here. The corners of every room were stagnant with filth, and every surface was covered in a film of grimy sea salt.

  I gazed at the cramped, dingy rooms in disgust. The thought of spending two days by myself here was becoming less and less appealing by the second. Just as my boss had said, there was no electricity or running water. They didn’t even have a fireplace in the—

  I stopped.

  ‘Where’s the fireplace?’

  The boy blinked. ‘We don’t have a fireplace.’

  I fixed him with a look.

  ‘John – you’re lying to me. There’s an enormous chimney on the roof. That means there must be a fireplace somewhere. Where is it?’

  John looked petrified. I grinned – I’d struck gold.

  ‘Are your family hiding something from me, John?’

  It all made sense now. No wonder the family had been so unconcerned about leaving – they had everything stashed in a secret room somewhere! If there was anything valuable hidden here, I couldn’t let them sneak back in and take it while I slept. Hand a secret stash of riches over to the boss, and a promotion was as good as mine. I knelt down in front of John and pulled a sparkling penny out my pocket.