The Guardian: Paranormal Fantasy New Adult Young Adult Angel Romance (A Fight for Light Novel Book 1)

by Nikki Landis

  I looked back at Kellen. “Would you please drive us to the hospital?”

  “Yes, of course, whenever you both are ready,” he answered quickly.

  I helped Gran up and took her arm. She grabbed her purse and I steered her toward the door. I took my car keys off the hook and tossed them to Kellen as we walked out of the house and toward my car. He shut and locked the front door securely and helped us both into my beetle. It was a very silent drive to Mercy Hospital. Gran and I were both sniffling from time to time, no one wanting to say anything.

  Kellen watched me constantly through the rearview mirror. His eyes caressed my face as he told me silently that he was there for me. We pulled into a parking space close to the emergency room entrance. Kellen helped Gran out and then put his strong arms around both of us as we entered. We took the elevators up to the third floor I.C.U. and went to Gramps’ room.

  I was unprepared for how he looked. He didn’t look like my grandpa. There was a ton of equipment hooked up and needles stuck into him. His face was pale and drawn. He looked frail somehow, in a way I had never seen him look before. I tried not to focus on that. It wasn’t how I wanted to remember him. I walked up to the bed slowly, and touched his hand.

  “Gramps, it’s me,” I told him softly.

  I saw his eyes flutter and then open. He looked at me and smiled. I squeezed his hand lightly and bent my head to place a kiss on his forehead.

  “Rhiannon,” he said weakly, “you have always been my greatest joy apart from your Gran.”

  “I love you Gramps. I’m here,” I told him as the tears started again.

  “I guess we will have to delay our trip to Ireland Hun. Maybe you can go with your Gran sometime,” he whispered, his voice sad.

  “It wouldn’t be the same without you Gramps. I couldn’t…” My voice choked up and I couldn’t continue.

  “I love you sweetie. I’m so glad you came. Remember who you are, where you come from. You are so special Hun.” He coughed lightly and winced in pain.

  “Gramps, I…am so sorry I wasn’t there,” I choked up.

  “Rhiannon, it’s ok. Something like this…it’s never predictable. You are here now. I’m…I’m the one who is sorry,” he paused for a moment before continuing, “I’m leaving you and your Gran…much sooner than I want.” His voice wavered.

  “Oh Gramps, I’m going to miss you. I…can’t let you go. Please…”

  “My time has come. It’s not a time to mourn, rejoice in my life sweetie. I am very blessed. You have always made me proud. The happiest days of my life were the birth of your mother and you and marrying your Gran.” He coughed again, this time a little deeper.

  “Don’t say too much Gramps. You need your strength. I love you. Thank you for always taking care of me,” I told him tearfully.

  “It has always been my pleasure. Take care…of yourself…of your Gran. I love you my little Rhiannon.”

  I nodded. “I will Gramps. We’ll be fine. You rest now.”

  He turned to Kellen. “Protect Rhia, protect my girl, and guard her with your life. I’m entrusting her to you. I know I can count on you.”

  Gramps coughed a little more and Kellen nodded. “Yes, sir. I swear I will guard her with my life. Always.”

  I moved aside for Gran and she talked with him, saying her goodbyes. They held hands and looked into each other’s eyes for hours. I watched the love there, built over the years on a foundation of trust and loyalty. I was so lucky to see it and very lucky to have been raised by it. Their love was timeless. Someday they would be together again. It was little comfort now, but I knew it would give Gran peace in the months to come. Her faith would help her.

  I held Kellen’s hand as Gran and I stayed with Gramps the whole long night. He grew more delirious and passed in and out of consciousness. Late into the morning he passed away, quietly and without pain. I turned my face into Kellen’s chest and sobbed for a long time. Gran laid her head in the crook of Gramp’s arm and cried silently. I don’t know how long we stayed that way. Eventually, a nurse came in and asked us to say our final goodbyes, so they could take care of him for us.

  Kellen drove home and helped us into the house. I took care of Gran, putting her to bed with a box of tissues. Exhausted, I let Kellen take care of me. I put on my pajamas and changed out of my prom clothes, seeming so formal and out of place. I climbed into bed under the covers as the tears started again. He lay with me, pulling me into his arms. I cried for hours, soaking his shirt with my tears. He held me well into the afternoon, stroking my hair and face, until in complete exhaustion I finally fell asleep.

  When I awakened hours later, he was watching me. He brushed his fingers along my cheek and wiped away the tears on my face. I snuggled into his chest and he held me close, knowing how much I needed him.

  “Rhiannon, darling, I’m so sorry…”

  I put my fingers on his lips and shook my head, knowing what he was going to say. No words would make a difference. Nothing he was going to say would make it better. I stared into his eyes for a long time.

  “Thank you. I’ll be fine…just worried about Gran now.”

  “I’m sorry we weren’t here. Rotten luck I guess. Are you sure you are all right?” He asked, concern in his voice evident.

  “Yes, it doesn’t matter. It would have been the same result whether I was here or not. I won’t take back my time with you and I don’t want you to either. Gramps led a full life and he knows…knew…I was happy with you. Just hold me please. I need you Kellen.” I told him as my voice broke.

  He looked at me fiercely and hugged me tight as the tears ran down my cheeks again. “As you wish, my darling.” He told me soothingly, adoringly, stroking my back.

  Over the next few days he did everything for us. He helped keep the house clean and cook. He made us both eat and sleep. When we picked out the casket and tombstone, he was there. He drove us to the funeral, and stood holding my hand through it all. He helped take care of the food and guests, and even organized the wake we held at the house in Gramps’ memory after the funeral. He was such a strong support that Gran asked him to stay with us. He had agreed, touched by her request.

  The weeks passed and eventually we both cried a little less and tried to move on. Gran went back to her cooking and gardening. I resumed normal life for me, seeing my friends again. Emily and Mariah stopped by often to visit. It wasn’t easy but eventually the ache started to subside in my chest.

  Gran and I tried to let happiness back into our lives. We spoke of Gramps now and then laughing at his jokes and remembering his life. It was healing for us. I finally started to feel normal again. Whatever normal was…after all that had happened in recent months.

  I knew with certainty that my life was forever changed. Losing Gramps was a terrible loss that ached constantly, never fully reseeding. I was learning to live with his absence and slowly adjusting to life with just Gran and me. Kellen was here most of the time, protecting us both and helping wherever we needed him. It comforted me to have him in our home, even when he was busy and spent most of his daylight hours outdoors.

  Graduation day eventually came. I walked across the stage with my friends cheering me on and Gran sitting in the bleachers. Alone. For most of the day I had been avoiding my internal musings. I had ignored the searing pain in my chest. Dismissing the agony that kept trying to overtake me. But I was struck, like a bolt of lightning, as I saw her face, by the lonely and abandoned seat next to her. The seat that belonged to my beloved grandfather.

  I missed him. More than I had allowed myself to feel. More than I had acknowledged. More than my heart could possibly bear. At the grad party later I found I could not fully enjoy the evening. In my mind there was no cause for celebration. I felt numb, going through the motions, pretending to enjoy an event that was pivotal in my young life and only feeling sorrow. A deep penetrating sadness that stole my joy overtook me.

  It hit me…hard. He should have been there. He promised me. He always joked and said
he would stand and yell from the top of the bleachers when I graduated, just so I would know he was the proudest person there. It used to make me roll my eyes and laugh. I would give anything if he could be there now and embarrass me. Just for a few seconds.

  Despair filled me briefly. It was another loss, just like my parents. He was taken too early, another person missing important events in my life, and whisked away suddenly. Another loved one gone. Another ache in my chest knowing more experiences in my life would be without the ones I truly loved. Or truly loved me.

  Sadness made me withdrawn. I retreated into my room, remaining quiet for the next couple of days. I spoke little. I slept little. I hardly ate at all. Depression and a haunting sorrow dominated my existence. Restless and agitated I paced my room.

  I was lost in thought. How did I recover? How did I move on? I hated hurting, hated the throbbing pain. I hated that I could do nothing about it. How did I keeping losing people I loved in my life and pretend it wasn’t hurting me? I was terrified of my future. Who else would I lose? How much loss could I endure? I didn’t want to be so pessimistic. Normally, I was a very happy and positive person.

  I was tired of telling everyone I was fine when inside I was not. Tired of the false front. Tired of pretending I was better when I was getting worse. Tired of everything…

  I was angry. Furious actually. To be honest, I was pissed off. It was not fair. Gramps was a Guardian like Kellen. They lived for a long time, plenty of years longer than his sixty one. At least I thought so. Why did I have to lose the only father figure I had ever known? Why had he been taken from me so cruelly? Why?

  My responses and ability to handle the world around me were diminishing. With every passing moment and day I became bitterer, angrier. I withdrew from my friends and even Kellen. The only person I could hold a conversation with was Gran, even then it was stilted and short. I read the concern in her eyes but I found it hard to care. My anger was too hot, blazing high inside me, building to the point of desperation.

  I paced in my room, chewing on a fingernail. The walls were closing in on me. The more I stared at those four walls, the angrier I became. Rage. I was definitely filled with it. Kellen was gone, out protecting or whatever occupied his days now that we were no longer in school. I wanted nothing to do with him, with Gran, or with anything that reminded me of life, certainly not of my dead grandfather.

  I threw on a dark hoodie and pulled it low over my eyes. It suited my mood. Before my thoughts had finished in my head, I had walked out on the balcony, climbed the stone perimeter, and slid to the ground. I glanced in every direction, certain Kellen was nowhere to be found. Then I hit the ground running.

  In my chaotic thoughts a destination never entered my mind, but I found myself running along a familiar path, veering off suddenly to the right, until I came to the same spot of forest that the witch and werewolves had found me. Nothing was there. I have no idea what I expected. I just know that in my anger, I was willing to confront anyone and anything that stood in my way.

  “Where are you now?” I shouted, my arms flung wide, “I dare you.”

  No answer came. No enemy ventured forth. I shook my head. Of course not.

  “Coward,” I yelled.

  I ran through the forest, not caring if I got lost, or ambushed, or even if I was coherent. Images kept flashing through my head. Camping and fishing with Gramps. Baiting my first hook. Catching my first real fish with a pole. Digging for worms in the mud. Hiking. Walking with Gramps while he held my hand, safe and secure, certain he would always be at my side.

  “No!” I shrieked at the world, startling a few birds that chirped and flew by.

  Faster and faster I ran, trying to outrun the pain in my chest. He lied. He said he would never leave me. He promised. I could still hear his words echo in my head. “I will always love you my little Rhiannon. I’m always here for you.” Liar. Gramps was gone.

  “No!” I shouted again.

  I ran until I could no longer breathe, until exhausted and out of breath, I bent over and rested my palms on my thighs. In anger I lifted my head, tears blurring my vision. I hastily brushed them away. I refused to cry anymore. Anger was easier. Rage I would hold onto. They fueled me, together, drove me, and made me strong. Anger replaced my pain. It occupied my thoughts. No room was left to dwell on the images that haunted me.

  I stood at the base of a large tree. The trunk was easily the width of a door. In anger I raised my fist and punched it as hard as I could. Pain seared my hand. Blood dripped onto the ground, pooling between my knuckles. I punched again, and again, until the pain in my hand was so great that it replaced the anger, but only by a smidge. I wiped the blood on my sweatshirt.

  Filled with anger and consumed by the pain in my heart and in my hand, I took off running again, until I was drenched in sweat underneath the sweatshirt. I yanked it over my head as I burst through a row of trees and recognized the cliff edge from before. The one where I saw the demon, the one who craved my flesh. Come on death. Where are you now? I taunted in my head. I was certain I could duel with him this day.

  I wanted to fight someone, something, anything. I wanted to rip to shreds the pain that nearly choked my breath from my body. In frustration, I pulled on my hair and collapsed to my knees, tossing the bloody sweatshirt to the side.

  “Oh God,” I cried out, “I can’t do this anymore.”

  A sob broke free of my chest. I lowered my head in defeat. I could not fight death. And I could not save my grandfather. He was gone. Forever.

  A part of me wanted to give in to the defeat. I might have. If I was stronger. Or more dedicated. Or if I just cared about anything right then. But I did not.

  The gentle pressure of a hand lowered to my back. I knew who it was without raising my head. I was not foolish enough to believe that Kellen would not find me. He should have showed up a long time ago. Perhaps he followed me.

  I stayed still for a few seconds and then I turned and let his hand fall away. “Leave me alone.”

  “No,” he refused, his voice soft and low.

  “Leave. Me. Alone.” I gritted between my teeth, accentuating every word.

  He grabbed me by my shoulders and hauled me to my feet. “No.”

  I smacked his hands away, fighting him. With surprise I was able to get free of him and I moved several paces back, closer and closer to the cliff edge. Fear filled his eyes.

  “Don’t you dare.”

  I raised my chin a notch. He was the last person to give me orders today. The closer I moved to the edge, the more panicked he became. I smiled wickedly.

  “I will do whatever I want.”

  “This defiance is not becoming. Come here,” he ordered, extending his hand.

  I shook my head. “No.”

  I made a dive for the edge when I felt his arms lock on to my waist. We landed with a thud, inches from the rocks that were giving way and falling to the ground far below. Angrily I fought him, unable to move him, even an inch.

  Anger flashed in his green eyes. “Why are you angry with me?”

  I turned my head, not wanting to meet the hurt in his eyes.

  “Rhiannon.” He said my name in desperation. “Rhiannon, don’t be mad at me anymore. I can’t stand it.”

  Before I could respond his lips met mine. I struggled against him, pushing on his chest, but he only held me tighter. Kellen refused to break the kiss. His mouth pressed even harder, fueled by frustration, until I started to weaken. His hands moved down to my waist and he rolled with me suspended above him. I straddled his torso as my hands slid up his chest and into his hair. I clung to him and thread my fingers through the dark strands, pulling lightly.

  Kellen’s hands tightened their hold. I expected him to stop, at any minute to pull back and say we had gone far enough, but he did not. I pressed into him, riding the wave of passion that combined with my wild abandon of all thought and reason. My anger had lowered to a simmer but my refusal to succumb to my pain had not. I was lost, adrift on
waves of helplessness.

  Kellen rolled again, pinning me to the ground, his body holding mine close, as if he could drive all traces of my pain away. I felt his urgency. I felt his lack of control and his raw desire. They fought for space in his eyes. Above all was a tenderness that stole my breath. In his eyes I saw the mirror of my own soul, reflecting back a feeling so strong, so undeniable, that neither of us could look away. I saw love.

  He pulled his lips from mine and in a single breath, my name tumbled forth in unparalleled passion. “Rhiannon.”

  My eyes were locked with his, both of our chests rising and falling with the exertion of the last few minutes. His mouth lowered again. His kiss was gentle this time.

  “Kellen,” I whispered, tears springing to my eyes.

  “Go ahead. Cry. Weep. Shout. Hit me if you must.” He swallowed loudly. “But never push me away again.”

  I could hold back no longer. A tidal wave of emotion rose up within me and crashed like stormy waves upon the sand. I wailed in my sorrow, the pain raw and agonizing, oozing from deep in my heart, bubbling to the surface, and erupting like a forgotten volcano. He held me in his arms until I cried my last tear, spent and left without strength, as his arms encircled my body. I had nothing left. No pain. No anger. No sorrow. Just release.

  I barely noticed when he lifted me and cradled my body in his arms. In silence we walked back to the house, never uttering a word. I held onto him, my fingers clutching his shirt, knowing I would not be able to let go for some time. My head rested on his shoulder, buried into his neck. From time to time he would turn and nuzzle me, perhaps so that I knew he was not abandoning me.

  He kicked the front door of the house open. It was dark, much later than I normally came home. Kellen started to climb the stairs when Gran’s voice halted him.