Merging Darkness

by Marissa Farrar

  I nodded. “Thank you. Thank you for not giving up on me.”

  “We’d never give up on you, sugar. You must know that by now.”

  A tear slid down my cheek, and I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

  We sat like that for a moment, him perched on the edge of the bed, holding my hand, while I pulled myself together. Then he stood, and I knew he was going to get the others.

  “Clay,” I said, looking up at him, tears causing the room to shimmer. “Can you give me half an hour to shower and change? I feel disgusting.”

  I knew they’d all seen me like this numerous times, but for the first time I actually cared.

  He nodded. “Of course. Anything else you need?”

  I shook my head.

  He smiled and leaned in and kissed the top of my head. “It’s good to have you back, baby-doll. We’ve missed you.”

  And with that, he turned and left the room.

  I climbed out of bed, my legs trembling. My aunt’s bedroom had an adjoining bathroom, so I headed there, peeling off my filthy clothes as I went. I wrinkled my nose in disgust at myself, pinching the items between my thumb and finger and dropping them into a pile on the floor.

  Naked, I reached in and turned on the shower. The water heated quickly, and steam began to fill the small space. I risked glancing down at my body. I’d lost a lot of weight in the last few weeks, my stomach concave, my hipbones showing, my thighs skinny, which, in turn, made my knees look too big. This wasn’t a body I’d be showing off to the guys any time soon—not that sex was something I’d given any thought to lately.

  I stood beneath the hot stream of water and lifted my face to the flow, allowing the water to wash away my tears and run through my hair. I used my aunt’s products, the scent of them reminding me of her and making me cry all over again. She’d been more like a mother to me than an aunt, a mother I’d never truly appreciated, and now she was gone, I wished so hard I could go back and do things differently. I’d have given anything for one more hug, one more smile, one more conversation. But it didn’t matter how much I wanted it, it was never going to happen.

  Aunt Sarah was gone.

  Chapter Twenty-four

  I pulled myself together enough to dress in clean clothes and make my way downstairs.

  Shyly, I pushed my way into the kitchen to find all the guys sitting around the table. This was the first time I’d been in here since everything had happened, and I couldn’t help picture the bodies in the same spots as I’d left them.

  Isaac must have read my thoughts, as he got to his feet. “Come on, let’s go to the living room.”

  He stopped in front of me then wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against his chest. I bunched my fists in his shirt and let him hold me, even as silent tears dampened the material.

  He released me only for Alex to step in, squeezing me hard and kissing the top of my head.

  Then Lorcan, cupping my face in his hands, his fingers lacing in the damp strands of my hair. He lowered his forehead to mine, noses touching, and then placed the lightest of kisses on the corner of my mouth. “We’ve missed you,” he told me. I smiled at him in return.

  He moved out of the way to allow Kingsley to scoop me up in a bear hug, surrounding me with his big body, making me feel safe. “How are your ribs?” I asked him, standing on tiptoes, my face pressed against his shoulder.

  “Better,” he replied. “No more pain.”

  “That’s good.”

  He released me, and together we all went into the living room, selecting spots on the couch and the chair.

  “Tell me,” I said, “what’s happened to everyone?”

  Isaac answered my question. “It’s gone, love. The whole place is finished. A new home is being created for the boys, but they won’t be trained to work undercover. They’ll go on to live normal lives. They may not be perfect lives, but they’ll be safe.”

  His words confused me. “Gone? What do you mean, gone?”

  “The locations of the bases are compromised. What remains of the bases is being broken down. The equipment will be either destroyed, or wiped, and moved on. Everyone is being reassigned.”

  I looked up at them, blinking through my tears. “Everyone?”

  He nodded. “Yes, even us.”

  My heart grew cold in my chest, the little bit of hope and relief I’d experienced upon waking threatening to crust over again. So I was going to lose them, too. “Reassigned to where? Doing what?”

  “That depends.”

  I frowned, still not understanding. “On what?”

  “On you, Darcy.

  I looked around at their solemn faces, faces I’d grown to love, and my heart threatened to crack. I wasn’t sure how much more pain I could take. Over the past few weeks, I’d managed to convince myself that I could hunker down and pretend none of the past month had ever happened. But I knew I’d never be able to pretend they weren’t a part of me now. Since my aunt died, all I’d experienced was a deep sense of emptiness, like my organs had been scooped from my body, and I was like one of those porcelain dolls, hollow on the inside. I hadn’t wanted to think about trying to get through each day. Just getting through an hour had felt like a monumental task. I’d been all alone in the world, and I’d felt it so acutely it was like a void existed around me, or like I was the castle in the middle of a moat, and I had no way of lowering the drawbridge.

  But they’d been my drawbridge.

  And now I was terrified they were about to pull it away again.

  “I don’t understand.”

  Isaac covered the back of my hand with his. “Jobs can be found for us here in D.C., love. They won’t be the same caliber as what we were working before, but we still have some skills the government will find useful.” He allowed himself the faintest smile.

  “You mean you’re coming to work, here in the city?”

  I looked around at their faces.

  Alex nodded. “I can work at the hospital, no problem. It’s already being arranged.”

  Lorcan lifted his hand. “Security for me—the Pentagon always needs people they can trust.”

  “And I’ll be dealing with cyber security,” Isaac said.

  “I’ll be working with the FBI, helping to counsel agents who’ve dealt with violence in the field,” Kingsley said.

  “And you, Clay?” I looked to him.

  He shrugged. “Actually, I’m taking the opportunity to get out of government stuff for awhile. I’m planning on setting up shop, specialize in motorcycles, maybe. Something a little more laidback.”

  I stared between them all, fresh tears threatening to fill my eyes, but this time tears of happiness. “So, you’re all staying?”

  Isaac grinned. “Yeah, we’re staying. Assuming you’ll have us?”

  With his words, my broken heart grew tendrils and began to entwine with each other inside my chest. They hadn’t given up on me, even after everything. And even through all the pain and violence, love still existed inside me.

  “But you’ll all be apart.” My voice cracked.

  I hated the thought of them all separated. They’d been a team since they were children, and they did everything together. I couldn’t imagine them all going their separate ways and only meeting up occasionally to share a beer and watch a game.

  “No, we won’t.”

  They moved to close around me, Isaac holding one hand, Alex the other. Clay stood behind me, his hand on my shoulder, while Lorcan crouched on the rug in front of me. Kingsley took up a spot on the arm of the couch. It was as though they all wanted to be near me in the same way I always wanted to be around them. We worked this way. I didn’t know why, and I knew it wasn’t exactly a traditional setup, but we were happy when we were together.

  “What are you saying?” I dared to ask.

  Isaac continued. “That we’ll see each other every night. We’ll see each other every morning. We’ll be here to fight about what we watch on the television, and over who took out the tra
sh.”

  “Will that be enough for you, Darcy?” Kingsley asked. “Without all the madness and secrets and underground bunkers. Will it be enough to just have us in your life?”

  “Just you?” I almost laughed over the words, a giddy kind of laughter. “There can never be a just you. Not with the five of you. I’d have been lucky to have any one of you singly, but to have all of you together? How could that ever possibly not be enough?”

  They glanced at each other, smiling.

  “But what about me?” I asked, suddenly panicked. “Am I going to be enough for all of you? I mean, we haven’t exactly had a normal setup, but now we will. How will you all feel with only me?”

  “You’re crazy,” Clay laughed. “We love you, sugar, all of us do. And we’ve grown up sharing the things we love our whole lives. It would almost be strange to do something any other way. But you get to call the shots, okay? One of us, two of us, or all of us, or hell, if you’re sick to death of us all and you want us to leave you the hell alone for the night, then we get that, and that’s fine, too.”

  I hid a small smile. “I don’t think I’d ever want you guys to leave me alone.” Warmth flared in my cheeks.

  Alex squeezed my hand. “Well, that’s good to know, too.”

  I could barely believe what I was hearing. This was what they wanted? To be with me?

  “So you guys are all going to move in here, with me, into this house? Permanently?”

  “We’d like to, love,” Isaac said.

  Clay pushed his hand through his hair. “But only if you want us to. No pressure.”

  A sob of happiness swelled inside my chest then rose like a balloon, threatening to burst from between my lips. I clamped my hand over my mouth to hold it back, and nodded.

  “Is that a yes?” Alex asked.

  Clay looked to him. “Was that a yes?”

  Lorcan seemed equally confused by my reaction. “Is she going to have us?”

  “It’s a yes,” I burst. “Of course it’s a yes. I could never imagine my life without you all in it.”

  The guys grinned at each other. Clay punched Lorcan in the shoulder. Kingsley threw me a wink.

  Isaac leaned in and kissed me.

  “Then that’s a deal.”

  One Month Later

  “Honey, I’m home!”

  I grinned as the call came through the house, the front door opening. It was an ongoing joke between us, each of the guys calling the same thing as they stepped through the door every evening. I’d grown to love the sound.

  Each of them came up behind me when they returned, as I was normally found in the kitchen, making food for us. Even with my back to them, I could tell who it was, not only from their voice or the way they walked, but from the way they kissed me from behind.

  Lorcan would hook one arm across the front of my body and kiss the side of my neck. Alex liked to grab me by the waist and pull me to him from behind. Kingsley would wrap his arms around me fully, holding me tight as he leaned in to kiss me. Isaac wouldn’t even touch me, but would sweep the hair from my neck and then pepper soft kisses down to my nape, making me shiver.

  I knew this was Clay, however, could smell the engine oil on his clothing the moment he walked in. Plus, the others were already home.

  He grabbed my waist, tickling me to make me squeal. I knew he liked the way the tickling made me fold in half, pushing my bottom out toward him, which he gave a playful spank.

  “Hey, baby,” he said.

  “Hey, yourself.” I twisted in his arms for a proper kiss. His mouth claimed mine, and I pressed my body up against his, not caring if I covered my clothes in oil. He smelled good, all manly and sexy.

  I heard the swoosh of the kitchen door opening.

  “Put her down. It’s my turn.”

  Isaac. I was always shyer with him. Unlike the others, he was the only one I hadn’t had some kind of sex with, though I knew it was coming. It was important that we were all on an even keel.

  We hadn’t broached sex since my aunt had died. Plenty of affection, yes, but not full sex. After the weeks in bed, both my body and my heart had needed time to recover. I knew it must have been frustrating for them, though none of them ever pushed me, but I needed to make sure I was ready.

  Clay chuckled and spun me around to face Isaac, but he stayed close, so I was sandwiched between the two of them.

  Isaac stepped in and kissed me, too, his fingers spanning my throat and jaw. His lips teased mine, his tongue darting into my mouth as he kissed me slow and deep, turning me to putty in his hands.

  “Now, this looks fun,” came a voice from the door.

  The others had come to find us, perhaps wondering what we were up to. I stopped kissing Isaac long enough to peep around him and see them watching, Alex and Lorcan with identical, knowing smiles on their faces. Kingsley stood right behind them, and his eyes darkened with barely veiled lust as he saw me sandwiched between Clay and Isaac.

  I kissed Isaac again, pressing myself into him, knowing I was putting on a show now the others were here. Clay stepped in closer, his hands on my hips, tracing the curves of my body. He swept my hair away from my nape and placed his lips to that spot. As he nudged his hips forward, I could already feel that he wanted me. Nerves fluttered inside me, but they were excited nerves. I liked the feel of them watching. It was undoubtedly sexy.

  I’d set the table for dinner, but Isaac didn’t seem to care. He lifted me, my thighs wrapping around his hips, and pulled me away from Clay, spinning me around. My bottom hit the wood of the table, and a number of items behind me toppled over. Clay stepped forward and swept the knives, forks, and placemats out of the way. Then his hands supported my shoulders as Isaac reclined me across the wood, as though I was a precious object that might shatter if dropped too roughly.

  My breath grew tight in my lungs in anticipation.

  The others moved in closer, their eyes all fixed on me. I’d never felt like I was under such focus before, and my nipples tightened in response, crinkling under the lace of my bra. My lips tingled from their kisses, every inch of my skin sensitized and begging to be touched. I felt like a delicious dish spread out across the table, waiting to be devoured.

  Clay’s hands reached to the buttons of my shirt, popping them open, one by one. Isaac remained between my legs, his fingers working the button on my jeans. I knew they were going to get me naked, and I wasn’t going to protest for a second.

  Another set of hands—Lorcan’s this time—pulled the shirt from my left shoulder, while Clay worked the right. I lifted up slightly, allowing Lorcan to pull the item of clothing from beneath me. Isaac took a step back, giving himself space to pull the jeans from my hips, leaving me in only my underwear.

  Numerous hands and eyes roved across my body. The men surrounded me like I was a sacrifice, and I drew a breath, subconsciously sucking in my stomach and arching my back to push out my tits.

  Between my thighs, Isaac dropped to his knees, bringing his face level with my pussy. I was still wearing my panties, but they were already wet and clinging to my folds. He leaned in, his nose nudging my clit, and then he ran his tongue across the material, from the base of me, right up to my mound. I gasped and squirmed on the table, but I had Clay and Lorcan at each shoulder, keeping me flat. Clay leaned over and kissed me first, his hand cupping the back of my head for support, then Lorcan nibbled my shoulder and up to my neck. Hands were on the straps of my bra, tugging them down, followed by the cups, to reveal my breasts, the nipples hard.

  I allowed myself a peek at the others. Kingsley and Alex were both watching. Alex’s hand was at the front of his pants, rubbing his erection over the material, waiting his turn. It wouldn’t be long. I wanted them all.

  The whisper of a breath crossed my skin, goose bumps puckering in response. A hot mouth covered my nipple, and I looked down to see the top of Lorcan’s dark hair. Reaching down, I laced my fingers through the silky strands. His teeth grated the hard peak, pulling it fully into his mou
th, sending sparks of pleasure down into my core.

  Between my thighs, Isaac pulled my panties to one side, and then nudged my legs even farther apart. Then his mouth was on me fully, and his tongue speared inside me, pushing between my folds. I gasped, my back arching from the table. Fuck, that felt so good. Clay continued to kiss my mouth, his tongue dancing with mine, while Lorcan suckled my nipple. I was in a halo of pleasure, barely knowing where to focus, my mind spinning with all the sensations battling for attention.

  A large hand made contact with my thigh, and I looked over enough to see Kingsley standing beside Clay. He traced the curve of my body, lingering over my other breast. His finger circled my nipple, and the areola tightened, then he traced down, running over my ribs and the dip of my stomach. His touch skimmed my hip and down the side, eventually slipping beneath me, his large palm cupping my bottom. I was already soaked, and I knew he’d be able to feel where my natural lubricant had dripped down from my slit, between the crack of my ass. The scent of my arousal filled the air. His finger traced the crease between my cheeks until he reached what he wanted.

  He circled the tight pucker of my ass, using the lubrication from my pussy and Isaac’s saliva.

  “Relax, baby,” he growled in his deep timbre, before pushing just the tip inside my ass.

  I mewled, almost lifting off the table. Kingsley continued to finger me, my entire rear end held by his big palm, that sensation alone making me crazy, especially with how he looked down at me while he did it. Isaac licking my pussy over my panties caused the sensations to combine, almost sending me out of my mind.

  “Take off your clothes,” I gasped, addressing them all. “I want you all naked, too.”

  Though Isaac stayed between my thighs, ignoring my request, the other men released their hold on me. They tugged off their clothing, pulling off shirts and removing pants. Freeing their erections. I didn’t know where to look first, each of them so beautiful in their own way—Clay, tan and blond. Lorcan, dark and tattooed. Alex, tall and slender, and Kingsley thick with muscle. I was surrounded by different male bodies, each of them perfect in their own way. They ran their hands down the lengths of their cocks, never taking their eyes off me as they masturbated.