Pursued by the Gods

by Rebekah Murdock

  That’s why I’d tried to avoid it for so long.

  Isa opened his mouth to speak, but Kavi put his hand on the other man’s arm. “This is my doing, and the punishment should be mine. If you must take us both, even, then do—but not Ravenna. If you love her as you say you do, if you have even a fraction of the feeling for her that we have, spare her.” His eyes filled with tears then, and I could see his pulse beating at the base of his throat, the fragile flesh there trembling with it. “For a century and more we have tried to escape what we have done. I knew that this day might come, Toven—but I never thought it would be here, where we thought at last we might be safe. I will beg you if I must—let her live.”

  I let the silence stretch out for a long moment as I battled within myself for what I should do. I felt fear of my own rising up, threatening to turn my thoughts to a fog, but I forced it down. Someone here would need a clear head, and I doubted it would be either of the two of them.

  “I have to think,” I said finally. “And I need to speak with Ravenna.”

  I saw Kavi tense again at that, his expression darkening, but Isa rose fluidly to his feet, shaking his head at Kavi. “If you must, then you must,” he said quietly, his voice hardly a whisper.

  “I must,” I said flatly. “And then I will decide what is to be done.” I looked at Kavi fully then, my expression stern. “I know that your instinct will be to pack your bags the moment you return home, for the two of you to take Ravenna and flee again, but you must not. If all of this is what I believe it to be, then I have heard rumors of you. You were not wrong to come here, because you are being hunted and you cannot hide from them forever. Likewise, you cannot run from me. Your lives are in my hands now, so you must listen to me when I say that you must not leave.”

  I saw in Kavi’s face that he wanted to argue, but Isa only nodded. Of the two of them, I was beginning to like him more and more. He seemed to have some sense, at least.

  “And,” I continued, “you must not tell Ravenna about this. I would speak with her without foreknowledge. Keep what happened tonight to yourselves, for now, at least.”

  “We do not keep secrets among the three of us,” Isa said firmly.

  “It seems that you have been, despite that.” I shook my head. “For a little while longer, you will have to continue.”

  The two of them were silent then, still as pillars of stone in the center of my room. I felt exhaustion wash over me, and I nodded towards the door, feeling heavy with it. “Go. Leave me alone.”

  They turned away, as silent as the grave still, and I watched them go, feeling momentarily as if all of the air in the room had been sucked out with them. I sank to my knees on the carpet when the door had shut firmly behind them, my face in my hands. “Ravenna,” I whispered into the quiet of the room, my voice hollow and aching with the terrible choice ahead of me. “Oh, Ravenna, what do I do? What am I going to do?”

  22

  Isa

  The moment we were outside of the hotel, I rounded on Kavi, a rage like I had not felt since the night he had told me that he made Ravenna immortal filling me. “You fool,” I snarled, feeling every hair on my body stand up and bristle with fury. “You absolute, fucking idiot.”

  “You, too?” Kavi’s voice was tired, and he sagged against the fence along the sidewalk, heedless of the spray of water that splashed up from the fountain.

  “Why, in the name of all the gods, would you have taken us there if he would know what you are on sight?” I stared at him with an expression of mingled horror and confusion. “We’ve been running from him and his kind for a century and a half, Kavi! It was bad enough that you wanted to face down one of them, but I would never, never have agreed to it if I would have known you couldn’t somehow,” I cast about for the right word. “Shield yourself somehow? Hide what you are?”

  “Because you’ve done such a great job of that?” Kavi snapped.

  “I’m a shifter,” I spat out. “There’s thousands of me. Him knowing what I am means nothing, asides from a deterrent to come near Ravenna. But you,” I shook my head. “You’re practically a god yourself.” I felt emotion well up in my throat and for a moment I thought I would burst into tears, or perhaps hysterical laughter at the ridiculousness of it all. A century and a half of successfully hiding, and we had been found out in the one place that we were meant to be safe at last. “How did he even know what you had done? How does knowing what you are automatically lend itself to that conclusion? Even if he had heard about us…aren’t there any number of spirits or gods it might be? He doesn’t know your true name, clearly.”

  Kavi shrugged, and I could see that all of the fight had drained from him. He looked pale and hollow, very much as he had the night he had come to me in the cave. “I don’t know,” he said quietly. “I don’t know how he knew, but he did. He wasn’t bluffing, that was plain to see.” He rubbed a hand across his face, looking squarely at me. “I knew he would know what I was, Isa. Of course I did. It was foolish of me, yes. But he shouldn’t have known that. If I had had any idea we would never have gone. You have to believe me.” He reached out then, touching my hand, and I felt a shiver across my skin, as I always did at his touch. “I would never have risked us so, not even as angry as I was. I thought…”

  “You thought you could warn him away, and that he would go, that you could frighten him,” I said quietly. “And if we had talked about this tomorrow, clearheaded, you would never have made that decision.” I sighed. “We can’t do this in division any longer, Kavi. We have to be honest with each other, as we always have been. Or else all will be lost.”

  “Not yet,” Kavi said, his voice defeated. “We can’t tell Ravenna about tonight.”

  “Fuck him,” I said, my tone turning harsh. “He can’t tell us what we can and cannot speak to her about.”

  Kavi shook his head. “You heard him. Our lives are in his hands now, and if he knows that we have told Ravenna,” he trailed off.

  “Who knows what will happen,” I finished, looking out at the fountain. It leapt and sang, the pre-recorded music sounding false and tinny in the hot night air. The colors danced across the rippling pond, and for a moment I wondered what it would be like to be one of the hundreds of people who walked down this sidewalk every night, blissfully unaware of the turmoil all around them, caught up in the glitter and pleasure promised to them around every corner.

  Had we ever been so fearless, so carefree? If we had, I could not remember it.

  “We know what might happen,” Kavi said. “And for that reason, we have to obey him, Isa. We can’t say anything.”

  “I know.” I looked at him once, at the misery that suffused his expression, and I couldn’t find it in myself to be angry with him. “We’ll wait. And after that, whatever comes, we will face it together.”

  ---

  Ravenna was gone when we came home. She had cleaned up the broken glass underneath the window, and the door was locked. The house was silent and still, so still that I could almost hear the echo of my own pulse, hammering at my throat with barely restrained panic.

  So close. We had come so close to something resembling peace. I felt the weight of it settle on me, and for a moment I could do nothing except stand in the center of the foyer, unable to look at Kavi, unable to think of anything except for the crushing pressure of defeat. I had made a vow, and I couldn’t keep it. I couldn’t protect them from this. If Toven were to tell what he knew and turn us in…it was beyond imagining.

  And then it hit me.

  I turned to Kavi. “He can’t do anything,” I said decisively. “Las Vegas is a safe haven, remember? Even if he turns us in, they can’t take us out of the city. He’s powerless to hurt us, as long as we are here.”

  Kavi flicked a switch, flooding the room with light. His jaw was clenched as he shook his head. “Do you really believe that? Do you really believe that some pact, some agreement that we don’t even fully know the details of will prevent the gods from bringing us to justice?”


  “It’s not justice,” I whispered. “What we did, we did for love.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” Kavi said firmly. “It is their justice, and I do not think they will hesitate to find a way to see it done. If not by taking us to the realm of the gods to face it, then by sending an assassin here. And even if we were entirely safe here, Isa…we would have to stay here forever to ensure that safety, and they will know where we are. There will be eyes on us always, waiting for us to leave, or waiting for the sanctuary agreement to fail, which it will certainly do one day. You know as well as I do that nothing lasts forever, not when forever is a reality.”

  “This does,” I said, my tone sharp. “Us, Kavi. You and I and Ravenna, this lasts forever.”

  “Yes,” Kavi murmured. “Yes, it does. And so we have no choice but to leave.”

  “What?” I blinked, momentarily stunned. “But Toven said…I thought we agreed…”

  “No, you’re right.” His fists hung at his sides, clenching and unclenching as he thought rapidly. “We can’t trust the sanctuary of the city, and we can’t trust Toven.”

  “That’s not what I said…”

  “When Ravenna comes back, we will be packed and ready to go. We’ll get as far away as we can before Toven reports us, so that they won’t know where to look.”

  I shook my head. “You know he called her. You know she’s with him. By the time she returns, she’ll know everything.”

  “And she will understand. Don’t you see? We have to go. If we stay here, they will know where we are. We will be trapped.”

  “Kavi, we need to think about this…” I leaned against the wall, running my fingers through my hair. My head was beginning to pound. I could see that he was right in one aspect—if we stayed and Toven reported us, we would forever be watched. We could not leave, and we would be looking over our shoulders still. We were meant to be safe here from outright assassination…but there were men who would not care about the consequences, for the right price. And the gods might find one of those. And yet…

  “If we run, we’re doomed,” I said flatly. “We can’t hide forever. And if we run, he will tell what he knows. He will have no reason not to.”

  “Yes, he will,” Kavi said, his voice tired. “He loves Ravenna. And if she has gone to him tonight, what will almost certainly happen next will only strengthen that.” He rubbed one hand over his face. “If he loves her, he won’t do anything that would bring her harm, no matter if she is here or if we run. Like you said, Isa. We defied the laws of the gods for love of her. With any luck, he will do the same.”

  23

  Ravenna

  I could feel my heart pounding as I got out of the taxi and stood in front of the massive, ornate hotel that Toven called home. For one desperate moment, I wanted to leap back into the taxi, to go back to my small, cozy house, and tell Kavi and Isa that I was sorry, that I didn’t want to fight with them—and most of all, that we should pack our things and go. I had heard the gravity in Toven’s voice over the phone, and I knew in the deepest part of myself what had happened, and why I was here.

  You have to come, Ravenna. It’s a matter of life and death.

  I had wanted to laugh, at first. Those words, meant to instill a sense of urgency, had seemed almost trite to me. When hadn’t it been a matter of life and death, for me? For a century and a half, I had been hovering on the precipice of life and death, a human who had dared to outstay her welcome. My death was a hundred years overdue already.

  And then, in the silence that had followed his words as he waited for my reply, I had understood what he meant—and that he knew. I hadn’t the slightest idea how that was possible, but the knowledge of it had sunk into the pit of my stomach, settling there like a stone.

  I had grabbed the first taxi I saw at the corner of my street, heedless of anything except getting to the hotel and speaking to Toven, stopping him before he could do anything that would harm Kavi or Isa. For myself, I had barely spared a thought. Whatever horror awaited me if I were remanded to the gods, I had always known there was a chance I would face it. But Kavi and Isa…there was nothing that I wouldn’t do to see that they were safe.

  I could hardly breathe as I stood in the elevator, waiting for what seemed like an eternity for it to reach Toven’s floor. My thoughts returned to what transpired here just a few hours earlier —Toven pushing me up against the papered wall, the taste of scotch on his mouth, the hard press of his body against mine. I felt a flicker of desire at the memory even now, warring with the icy fear that lay heavy in my belly. It was hard to believe it had happened that same evening. It felt as if days had passed.

  I stepped out into the hallway and strode to his door, fighting down the panic that threatened to overwhelm me. Maybe you’re wrong, I tried to tell myself. Maybe something else has happened. Perhaps there’s some other reason he needed to see you, some other emergency.

  I knew that wasn’t true.

  I knocked on the door, gingerly. I felt as if I were standing on the precipice of something—that after this, there would always be a before and an after. I had felt like this once before, burning up from fever in the lodge I shared with Kavi, the night that he made me immortal.

  That choice had brought me here.

  The door opened, and I had one second to take in the sight of Toven, the haunted face that was so different from the dry, humorous expression he normally wore, before I was pulled into the room and pushed up against the door he slammed shut, his mouth on mine so hard that it was nearly painful.

  I could hear his breathing, quick and short, and his scent filled my nose as he buried his hands in my hair, lavender soap and underneath it the smell of his skin, warm and inviting. It made me want to lean into him, to forget why I was there, but it was impossible to forget it entirely. Especially now, with the way he was kissing me.

  It was desperate, needy, the kiss of a man who is afraid he might never touch you again after this. Every muscle in his body was rigid, and I could feel him rock-hard against me, his fingers digging into my scalp as his tongue plunged into my mouth. One of his hands left my hair and roved down my body, past the curve of my breast and down my waist, over my hip to dig in and pull me harder against him, so close that I could almost feel his heart hammering in his chest.

  My own leapt in response, a tide of desire washing over me with an intensity to match his. This was, after all, a man I wanted, a man who I’d had naked in this same hotel room just hours before. What was more, I had no idea what would come after this. For all I knew, I would walk out of this hotel room a prisoner of the gods, my time as a free woman come to an end.

  So, I made one last choice. Whatever was to come, I would have this last bit of pleasure, and I would find out what kind of man he truly was, if he loved me as he said he did, or not.

  And if he chose to hand me over, he would never be able to escape this memory.

  I reached up, burying my hands in his hair, my tongue tangling with his as he gasped, and I arched against him, moaning as he gripped my ass, his hips grinding against me. I could feel how hard he was, throbbing against the confines of his jeans, and I reached for his shirt, dragging it off of him and throwing it aside as he broke the kiss. I shoved him backwards then, towards the dresser, following him. His eyes flared with something dark and dangerous, and he reached for the neckline of my t-shirt, yanking it so that it ripped apart, the buttons flying. I lunged towards him, grabbing his face in my hands as I kissed him hard, my teeth sinking into his bottom lip as he groaned, reaching for the zipper of my jeans. I jerked backwards, panting, shaking my head. “You first,” I managed. “I want to see.”

  His eyes blazed darkly as he reached down with agonizing slowness, glittering wickedly as he ran one hand over where I could see him pressing against the denim of his jeans, thick and hard and aching to be released. I knew what I must have looked like, my hair tangled around my head in a wild cloud, my ripped shirt hanging off of one shoulder. I could see it reflected in
his face, the desperate lust warring with the desire to draw it out, to make me beg for it.

  I’m not going to be the one begging for it, I thought as I watched him pull his zipper down, pushing his jeans over his hips. He stood there, nude and impossibly handsome, his long dark hair falling around his face, and I let out a small moan as I took in the sight of him, from the lean arms to the muscular chest, the flat abdomen that led down…

  He growled low in his throat, a sound that startled me, and then he had crossed the room in a flash, his hand on the back of my neck as he pressed me up against the wall, holding my mouth tilted up to his as he reached between us for the button of my jeans. “Fuck, Ravenna,” he growled against my mouth, his hips jerking as the velvety tip of his cock brushed against my stomach. “I need you,” he groaned, his mouth going to my jaw, to the shell of my ear and down the soft flesh of my throat. “I can’t bear this.”

  I kicked my jeans aside, let him pull my lacy underwear off of my hips for the second time that day, and threaded my fingers through his hair, pulling his mouth back to mine as I reached for him, my fingers encircling his cock as I squeezed gently, sliding my hand down once and back up again.

  I felt his body tense, his back arching as he thrust forward into the caress, every inch of him quivering with barely restrained need. “Then fuck me,” I whispered, trailing my lips up to his ear and arching my own hips, rubbing against him. “If you want me, then take me.”

  He groaned, a guttural, almost painful sound, and reached for me. I had started to move past him, turning towards the bed, but he grabbed my arm, pulling me back to him for another hard, searing kiss.

  Somehow we ended up on the floor, somewhere between the wall where he’d undressed me and the bed. My legs went around his waist without a thought as he leaned over me, his hands everywhere as he slid into me with one hard, effortless thrust, the moan that escaped him as he sank into me one of breathless relief as I enveloped him. I dug my nails into his shoulders, matching his every thrust with one of my own, rolling my hips beneath him as he kissed me frantically, seemingly almost forgetting to breathe.