Pursued by the Gods

by Rebekah Murdock

  I had never been one to fall in love quickly or easily. Even with Kavi, it had taken time. What I had with Toven had blossomed faster than I had known any other love to grow, and it made me feel dizzy and uncertain, unsteady on my own feet. There are different types of love—I knew that. I had not known that what I felt for Toven was more than lust until I had held him there on the floor of his hotel room, and heard him say that at last, after centuries, he had found someone to whom he could open up his whole heart, who could see him as he was and believe him, accept him. Someone who could hear the darkest secret of his soul, and still open her arms to him.

  “For a long time I believed that no one would love me, if they knew I had done nothing. I was almost glad of it, because it made it that much easier to keep that feeling locked away. And that, too, seemed unforgivable. And yet...now you know it all, and you are lying here next to me, and the look on your face says that you do, even if you haven’t said the words.”

  He had whispered that to me, as we lay in bed together, the cool darkness settling around us. For a moment I had wanted to lay my head on his shoulder and let myself fall asleep, to stay for a little while longer in the circle of his arms. But I knew I had to go home.

  “You have brought me peace and despair all at once, Ravenna. And yet…I love you.”

  I had kissed him goodbye at the door, feeling that same finality as I realized that might be the last time I ever did so. The dread of the future hung heavily between us as I left…and I had yet more ahead of me. I hadn’t left Kavi and Isa in good spirits, and I had no idea what waited for me at home.

  I wondered if they were in bed as I stepped into the bath, the hot water swirling around me as I sank into it, easing away the bodily aches. I closed my eyes, wondering if I stayed there long enough, perhaps I could wish myself back to a month ago, before things had changed so dramatically. Before I had known that we were capable of destroying so much more than just ourselves.

  But then I would never have met Toven. I let out a long breath, pushing the thought away. It was too much, to contemplate whether or not I would take back the decisions I—we—had made. They were made already. Now there was only the question of how we would go forward.

  I heard the door creak on its hinges, and I opened my eyes. Kavi stood at the edge of the doorway, dressed only in black pajama bottoms, his hair loose around his shoulders. For a moment, I forgot how to breathe at the sight of him. Even as things stood between us, the desire was still there, and the love. I could never be so angry with him that I didn’t love him.

  “Can I come in?” he asked softly, his voice hesitant, and my heart broke a little to see him standing there, so unsure.

  “Of course.” I sat up a little in the tub, and I saw Kavi’s eyes flick to my chest, then back up to my face. He walked slowly towards me, perching delicately on the edge of the bathtub, making no move to touch me. I could see the hesitancy in every line of his body.

  “I wanted to say I’m sorry,” he said finally, dipping his chin so that his hair fell around his face. “I was wrong to speak to you the way I did, earlier. I was wrong to storm away. And what I have done since,” he shook his head and looked up, his dark eyes full of misery. “I have been so very wrong, Ravenna, and it may be the end of us all. How can you ever forgive me?”

  “Oh, Kavi.” I reached for his hand, sitting up and drawing my knees to my chest as I laid my hand over his. The touch of his skin calmed me, sent a wash of soothing warmth over my skin that had nothing to do with the heat of the water. “There is never any question of forgiveness, between you and I.”

  He shivered. “How can you not be angry?”

  I rubbed the back of his hand with my thumb, and then leaned forward, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. “The gods are angry enough now for all of us. Let them be unforgiving. There is nothing you could ever do that I would not forgive, that could stop my loving you, Kavi. There never has been.”

  “I feel the same about you,” he whispered softly. “I thought I could protect us all. But I’ve only taken us further into danger.”

  “It’s going to be alright,” I promised. I reached up to touch his jaw, smooth and unlined. “I went to see Toven. He will not tell what he knows.”

  “Are you sure?” Kavi frowned. “Did he say that?”

  “He promised he will do all he can to see that our lives are saved.” I waited for Kavi to ask what else had passed between us in that hotel room, what else we did, but either he truly had no jealousy, or he didn’t want to know. Either way, I chose not to mention it. What had passed between Toven and I was better left there, I knew.

  I expected relief, but Kavi only looked alarmed. “That doesn’t mean he will say nothing! Only that he will try to see the punishment lessened, perhaps. Ravenna, we have to go.”

  “He said we shouldn’t do that,” I argued. “That here, at least, we can’t be taken. Kavi, we are safe here, no matter what. If we leave we have no protection.”

  “We are safe from extradition,” Kavi said, his expression grim. “However, What would stop them from sending an assassin? It wouldn’t be the punishment we might receive otherwise, true, but it would be death for us nonetheless. Even if the assassin were equipped with a weapon that could kill me, they could still deny culpability, somehow. Or perhaps they would only have you and Isa murdered, and hope that in my grief I would give myself up. Ravenna, our only choice is to run. I know you have become close with Toven, but you don’t know him. You don’t know him as I know the gods. We have no other options.”

  “Kavi,” I whispered, closing my eyes. A wave of fear raced over my skin, sending it prickling despite the heat of the water. I thought of Toven’s face as I had held him, the sound of his voice when he had told me the story of the woman who had dared to love someone forbidden to her. I knew it was true. I knew that he would not give us up. And yet…Kavi’s words planted a seed of doubt. “I believe him,” I said softly. “I believe he is telling the truth.”

  “Do you believe in me?” Kavi asked. “After all this time, Ravenna, even after what I have done tonight, do you still believe that I love you? That I would do anything in my power to see you and Isa safe?”

  I opened my eyes and met his. I felt the certainty of Toven’s words, so firmly planted in my mind as I left the hotel, begin to flicker and fade. Here was a man who had stood by me for a century and more, who loved me beyond all reason. Who had proved that love, time and again, who had risked all to keep me by his side. I believed that Toven would not betray us. But I could not tell Kavi no. I could do nothing except follow him, as he had always followed me.

  “Yes,” I whispered, knowing the gravity behind that word, what it would bring.

  “Then trust me,” Kavi said, his fingers gripping mine tightly. “Trust me that we have no choice but to leave.”

  He leaned forward and kissed me then, his lips soft and warm, and I reached up to circle my arms around his neck. His hair fell around my face, and he reached up for the elastic that held mine on top of my head, pulling it free so that it tumbled down and mingled with his. “We belong to each other, Ravenna,” he whispered. “As Isa belongs to us too, and we to him. We have kept each other safe this long.”

  “I know,” I whispered, and pulled him down to me. He slid out of the loose-fitting pajama bottoms he wore and into the tub that just barely fit us both, the water rising up around us as his body pressed against mine. I remembered the river, the day I had asked him to meet me there, and the way he had touched me on the grassy bank. I remembered a hundred times after that, making love in that same river when we had met on our stolen, secret afternoons, tubs in hotel rooms that we could hardly fit into, pools late at night under florescent lights, even once in the Pacific Ocean. That had always been one of my favorite memories—me refusing to go in because of the legendary cold, Kavi using his powers to heat the water until it was as warm as any bath, and then leading me in, protesting, by the hand, only to laugh at the surprise on my face.

>   “What kind of water spirit do you take me for, that you think I’d let you freeze?”

  I remembered that night often, bathed in the light of the waxing moon, the soft waves lapping at us as I wrapped my legs around his waist, his long hair floating around us like seaweed. I may not be Valtamer, king of the seas, to command them as he does. But I can at least do this.

  I would take you over any other god, my love, no matter how great, I had whispered, and then he had been inside of me, the gentle rhythm of our bodies mimicking the undulating waves.

  It was time to make good on that promise, I reflected ruefully. I believed Toven, and in a part of myself that I didn’t fully yet understand, loved him. But Kavi was the one I had bound myself to. Where he went, I would go.

  And then he kissed me again as my legs wrapped around his hips, and I forgot to be afraid.

  26

  Toven

  When the door closed behind Ravenna, I lay in silence for a long time, looking at the ceiling.

  However much I might want to think that I had a choice to make, in the end, I knew there was none. I could not bring Ravenna any harm, and if I wanted to save her and preserve her happiness, I would have to save her two men, too. There was no question of her leaving them, I knew that. And I would have to move quickly. I had no doubt Kavi would want to take matters into his own hands—and as frustrating as it was, I could hardly fault him for it. If Ravenna were truly mine, I would not risk her safety on the word of a man I didn’t know.

  There was only one person I knew of who could do the thing that needed to be done, and only one person who would know how to contact her. I reached for my phone and texted Nathan.

  I dressed as I waited for his response, my night with Ravenna feeling further and further away with every minute that passed. It almost seemed like a dream—the furious coupling on the hotel room floor, her holding me in her arms as I told her my story, the lingering in bed afterwards; slow touches and caresses that I wanted to turn over and over in my mind until there was no chance of my ever forgetting them.

  The clock was ticking, though, and there was no time for it. I pulled on my jacket just as my phone chimed. I snatched it up, fingers trembling. If Nathan refused me, I had no idea what the backup plan might be. This was all I had been able to think of—the only way I could come up with to save them beyond any doubt.

  Meet me at Pandora’s Chest

  I narrowed my eyes. Pandora’s Chest was one of the lesser known Vegas gentlemen’s clubs, on the edge of town, catering to men who specifically wanted supernatural women. I doubted whether all the women there were actually of the non-human variety—after all, men are easily fooled when they want something. A bit of makeup, glitter dust and some contacts might turn an ordinary woman into a faerie, good prosthetic teeth a vampire, and the list went on. Of course, they kept a few on rotation who were the real thing—primarily for men like Nathan who would know the difference.

  The last thing on earth I wanted to do was go to a brothel, especially with the memory of Ravenna’s touch still lingering, the scent of her clinging to my skin. But I remembered how oddly Nathan had been behaving, and I couldn’t risk angering him. I would have to go, and hope that the meeting would be a quick one.

  It was starting to rain as I hurried out of the hotel and flagged down a taxi, and I shivered. It felt like a bad omen—rain was rare here, to the point of danger at times. It’s nothing, I told myself repeatedly.

  I flashed back to the desperation I’d felt earlier that evening, the terrible need that had gripped me the moment I’d seen Ravenna, and I shivered. I had never experienced anything like it in all of my existence: the feeling that if I didn’t have her in that moment, that I would die. The relief I had felt when I’d slid into her naked, willing body and felt her respond to my touch had been akin to a drink of water for a man dying of thirst.

  I wondered if I would ever touch her like that again.

  When the taxi reached our destination, I tossed a couple of bills at the driver—far more than the ride was, but money bought discretion—and I slid out of the car. While most Vegas brothels were housed in nondescript buildings, this one made a point of being noticeable—a sprawling terra-cotta hacienda style house, long covered walkways leading to sections of the home with giant windows. I’d been here once before, I knew what the rest of it looked like: lavishly appointed rooms, a courtyard with a fountain, a walled garden for those who liked to take their excursions outdoors, an indoor pool and outdoor one as well, and the list went on. This place catered to men who wanted the unusual and exotic, and it delivered. It was luxurious while managing to seem tasteful—someone who walked in thinking it was an ordinary home might think the owner a bit eccentric and opulent, but not classless.

  I texted Nathan to tell him I was there, and that I’d wait for him in the lobby. I expected he wouldn’t be pleased to have to interrupt whatever he was doing in order to meet me, but I would have to give my phone over to an attendant the moment I came in, and I didn’t feel up to wandering the hallways looking for him.

  The beautiful, dark-skinned girl who stood at the receptionist desk was entirely human, and not pretending to be anything else. I supposed she didn’t need to, she wasn’t on the menu. The air of the exotic still hung around her though, in her carefully chosen perfume that smelled like tropical flowers, the candles burning at her elbow, her perfectly braided hair that hung down in long, thick ropes around her angular face. Her eyes twinkled mischievously as I approached, and she held out her hand. “Please turn in all your mobile devices, sir, and anything else capable of taking photo or video.”

  I handed her my cell phone unceremoniously.

  “Is that it, sir?”

  “Yes,” I said briefly. For a moment it reminded me of how much had changed in just a few short weeks. Before Ravenna, I would have charmed this girl, given her a smile that would warm her down to her bones, send shivers of delight over her skin. I would have asked her name, complimented her, and word by carefully placed word, ended the night with her devastatingly perfect body in my bed.

  Now I looked at her and felt nothing: no desire, no need to seduce, no wish to find out the shape of her breasts or what her skin felt like under my hands, the sounds she might make when I kissed her, when I discovered which spots she liked best. I only thought of Ravenna, of how I had only just discovered those things about her, and how I might never be able to do it again.

  If I failed at my purpose here tonight, I certainly would not.

  “I’m here to see someone,” I said. “Not one of the girls,” I continued quickly, before she started inquiring as to my preferences. “He’ll be down to meet me in a moment.” I hoped that was true. The thick sandalwood scent of the candles was beginning to give me a headache, and I badly wanted to be back at my hotel. Perhaps they’d restocked the minibar by now, or I could order a bottle of scotch from the bar downstairs.

  “Feel free to have a seat then.” She gestured towards one of the leather couches in the lobby. “Do you know who your friend is with? I can call up for him.”

  “No, I don’t,” I said regretfully. “I’ll just wait, that’s fine.”

  I sat down heavily, knotting my fingers together. I wondered what Ravenna was doing now. Surely she’d made it home—I hoped she had. I wondered if she’d spoken with Kavi and Isa yet, if they knew what had happened. I felt impotent, powerless, sitting here and waiting to speak with someone who might, or might not help me.

  And if he didn’t that was it. I had no other ideas, no other plan.

  I heard footsteps and looked up. Nathan was standing at the top of the stairs, wearing only a pair of dark, low-slung jeans, his pale and hairless chest naked. His hair was scraped away from his face in a ponytail, and the lines of that face looked even more cutting and angular than usual. His blue eyes glittered as he saw me, unnaturally bright in that pale face. “Come upstairs, Toven,” he said, turning away and walking back up to the landing.

  I rose and f
ollowed without a word, casting a glance at the receptionist as I went. Her gaze followed me as I walked, but she said nothing.

  In the room Nathan had taken over, there were five or six girls lounging on various pieces of furniture, in various stages of undress. At least three I could tell were human despite their artifice, but I saw one beautiful Nordic girl with translucent skin that shimmered in alternating shades of green, blue and soft pink—an ice naiad, and a red-haired girl, thin to the point of frailty, whose hair was full of soft green leaves and flowers. When she moved, the petals fell, hovering in the air for a moment before disappearing. I winced inwardly, trying to hide my reaction from Nathan. Sprites were delicate things, and Nathan’s power could be far from delicate. Once I would have trusted him to handle them with care, to take nothing they didn’t freely give, but with the memory of our last meeting in the bar fresh in my mind, I was no longer sure.

  One of the humans crossed the room to me, a tall, olive-skinned girl with straight dark hair that fell to her waist and almond eyes shining above flat cheekbones. She was wearing a black lace bra and matching panties so small they hardly deserved the name, along with sheer stockings that ran up long and shapely legs. She stepped behind me and slid my jacket from my shoulders, her fingers trailing over the back of my neck and down my spine as she did so. I repressed a shiver and focused on Nathan, who was already draped over one of the chaise lounges. The ice naiad had knelt at his side, her fingers running through his hair and down his cheek. On the other side of him, the meadow sprite was mixing drinks in crystal glasses on a copper tray.

  “This is the life, isn’t it, Toven?” Nathan grinned at me. “This city, man.” He shook his head as the ice naiad pulled his hair free of the ponytail, letting it fall around his face. He breathed in deeply, and I saw the colors in her skin flicker and fade momentarily before brightening again. I felt a knot of dread in my belly as I saw a glimmer of fear cross her face, her fingers momentarily stilling in his hair before resuming.