by SM Olivier
“I lost sight of the twins after they graduated high school.” He looked guilty once more. “I thought I had done my part. Plus, I was so busy immersing myself in my business to escape my unhappy marriage and the desire to make my father’s company larger than he ever dreamed. I assumed the young men had run far, far away from here. Away from all the bad memories.”
He was silent for a few minutes, lost in time, but then said, “The twins weren’t like the others. If you never knew about their past, one would never know. They were popular, athletic, and charismatic. Last I heard, they went to college out of state. Pearce was going to law school, and Percy was studying computer science.”
I shuddered thinking that there were two of them out there.
“Ava spent less than two years in prison,” Grandpa spat in disgust. “When she got out, she started running around with men even more repulsive than her. One day, she was murdered by their hands. From what I was able to discover, I don’t think Stephen and Reginald ever recovered mentally. They felt they truly loved Ava, so when my Ava came along, it was easy for them to transfer their affections over to her, especially because both Avas were so similar in looks and even shared some of the same personality traits.”
His eyes suddenly filled with tears. “I truly believe, now, that my Ava did willingly go with them, but I also think she needed counseling. She told us it was her idea to take you, Peyton, when Reggie told her about you. Claire was accidentally abducted. Reggie had made a mistake, and by the time they realized it, it was too late. She convinced them that another woman’s presence would be nice once they got you. Ava thought she was dying, and she wanted to make sure Stephen and Reggie were able to find someone else to love them and take care of her children.”
“What about—” I started to ask, still in a daze.
“She’s still adamant that she never met Percy and hasn’t seen Pearce in years.” Grandpa shook his head, answering my question. “The agents took her away this morning. She’ll be receiving medical and mental care. I don’t know—” he suddenly gasped, burying his head into his hands “—where I went wrong? I raised sons that abused you and rejected you, and I raised a daughter who encouraged the men she loved to take you!”
“Grandpa,” I said softly. “You cannot take the full blame. They were all old enough to make their own decisions when they decided what type of people they wanted to be and… Evelyn really had a hand in their upbringing. I’m sure if you knew how they were being raised, you would have done things differently.”
He began to sob in earnest. “I should have been around more. I shouldn’t have put money and success above my own family. I hope you’ll forgive me one day.”
I hated seeing him like this. So, broken. He had his sins; he wasn’t without fault, but they didn’t make his children who they were today. By that logic, I should have been a depraved individual! I surely didn’t have the best role models in my life.
“I already do forgive you,” I told him without hesitation, and I did. He owed me no apologies. He didn’t make his children do what they did to me, and he wasn’t even aware that it was happening at the time.
He got up and hugged me gingerly, and my own tears threatened to spill. I was feeling the numbness begin to fade, but I decided to shove down my feelings further. Grandpa needed me to be strong, so I had to pretend to be. I could fall apart later…maybe.
●
“Would you like any more soup?” Crew held a spoon up to my mouth.
“Just one more spoonful,” I said patting my belly. I hadn’t even eaten half of the container of wonton egg drop soup and felt full.
Madison and Golden had volunteered to run and get us Chinese food for dinner after Grandpa had left. Apparently, Grandpa had a house full of people to return to. The state had placed the children with him. He was their only known relative, and he agreed to take them all.
It was one substantial, colossal mess, but I had a feeling focusing on the children and their needs would help Grandpa get through all this. He just wanted to move forward, which some people didn’t seem to want us to do.
The media were still salivating for any and all information about me, Ava, and Claire. The guys finally had to unhook the landline, and Grandpa had placed a security team around the houses. Grandpa had tried to convince me to finish my schooling with the tutor hired for Leah, once I was recovered, but I refused right away. Not only because I had no desire to see Leah right now, but because I refused to live my life in fear forever.
Bryce thought I would be able to return to school and dance in about two weeks’ time, if I promised to take it easy and listen to my body. He suggested I begin with an hour of practice a day when I returned to class. I knew I needed dance most of all to start reclaiming parts of myself.
“You should eat more.” Paxton frowned at me.
“I wish I could,” I admitted quietly before curling my legs under me and leaning against Crew’s chest. I yawned. I really couldn’t wait until I was feeling better, but I knew it was going to be a while yet.
Paxton leaned over and covered me with a blanket.
“So, school, in two weeks?” Kyler said skeptically, his chopsticks poised over his lo mein noodles.
“Yes,” I said decisively.
“You can take as much time as you need.” Paxton frowned. “What’s the rush?”
“She can’t hide forever,” Zane said quietly from his seat on the floor in front of me.
I smiled at him with gratitude as I played with his thick, dark hair.
“Are you sure you’ll be up to it?” Madison frowned from across the room.
I wanted to scream and yell at her. She had been my best friend for fifteen years. When had she ever known me to hide from my fears? I didn’t then, and I wouldn’t start now. Admittedly, I was nowhere near “okay,” but I needed to stop feeling like a prisoner. Who cared if my cage had changed, if I remained locked up?
I knew my hidden rage for her also came from the place where she thought it was okay to touch and be touched by the man she knew was mine. In the past, admittedly, I hadn’t cared when she ended up being with a guy I initially liked, but she never saw me show any fondness towards them. We hadn’t even made it that far, but with Golden, she had witnessed our affection towards one another.
Case in point, she was currently leaning against his legs as they ate. I hadn’t seen one without the other since I came home. Golden hadn’t spoken more than two words to me. Undeniably, I hadn’t said much to him, but I wasn’t the one who decided to move on while I was in hell on earth.
“There’s only one way to tell,” I said with a shrug before I took a sip from my water bottle. “Now that I’m here, are you going back home?” I asked bluntly.
Undoubtedly, it probably wasn’t the time or place to be confronting her, especially being how emotionally ravaged I was, but I felt too betrayed right now.
Madison looked hurt, and tears glistened in her eyes. “I planned to finish the year out here. I thought you would be happy to have me near. I was barely able to sleep and eat while you were gone. I wanted to be here when you came home.”
Unlike a lot of girls, I knew I had genuinely upset Madison. I wanted to be mean, but I wasn’t unable to muster up those feelings.
“I mean, if you want me to leave. I will.” She put down her food and stood. “I have to pack up the room and my apartment, but then I’ll leave. Just call me if you need me, okay?”
“Maddy, it’s late,” Golden cajoled.
My jaw literally dropped.
Madison absolutely, positively, abhorred the nickname Maddy since the day I’d met her. I had seen her snap at her own parents for calling her Maddy. She refused to talk to Lucas for a whole week when he tried to push the nickname onto her.
“No, it’s okay.” Madison hugged herself. “She just… she’s not herself right now. I shouldn’t have assumed she would want me here, not when she has all of you. I kind of just invited myself to stay.”
I kne
w Madison. I knew her so well, and I knew she was genuinely remorseful and hurt by my reaction. If the situation were reversed, I probably would have found a way to return home and be with her family, too. However, she began a relationship with Golden. I couldn’t overlook that.
I took a deep, shuddering breath in. With all that had happened to me, I was in no position to think clearly. I was angry, hurt, and emotionally raw, but I really couldn’t expect her to drive home right now. It was pouring down rain, and she shouldn’t be out there by herself.
I snorted. Look at me, worrying about my best friends’ safety and feelings above my own… again.
“Stay.” I sighed before I stood up. “I would have done the same thing.” Maybe I was emotionally capable of handling this right now. “You left home to be here for me. It’s obvious you… fit in.”
“Where are you going?” Paxton jumped up and took my dog from my hands.
“I need another shower, then I’m heading to bed,” I stated.
It would be my fourth shower of the day. I swore, no matter how many times I showered, I still didn’t feel clean. Lochlann and Kyler helped me with my first one. Zane had helped me with the second one, and Crew with my last one. Maybe I’d have Paxton help me with my next one. He had never seen me naked, and I’ve never seen him naked, but eventually, our relationship was heading that way…maybe …no, it would.
The showers with Crew and Zane hadn’t been as sexy, but we had exchanged kisses and embraced each other. A lot. Paxton had always been the most reserved about progressing our relationship, and I had been thankful for that. In my condition, I knew he wouldn’t expect anything and would just be there for me.
“Okay.” Paxton frowned. “Want to watch a movie to fall asleep to?”
“I’ll pick the movie,” Crew stated before he bit into his egg roll. He wasn’t asking, he was telling me, and I was okay with that. Last night I had been doped up on so many drugs, I hadn’t been able to dream. Tonight, I wouldn’t have those aids. I didn’t know who or what would meet me in my dreams, or should I say, my nightmares.
“I’ll bring down the snacks.” Zane shrugged. “Paxton, you have thirty minutes to help our girl shower, and then we’ll be down.” He gave me a wicked smile, and I shook my head at him.
This. This was easy. My interaction with Zane: predictable, especially after we became intimate.
“Me?” Paxton seemed slightly surprised before he looked at me almost shyly.
“I can’t shower by myself.” I gave him a crooked smile.
“I can help you,” Madison offered cautiously.
“No, it’s okay,” I said, looking her way. It hurt. It hurt losing Golden to her, but it just proved my earlier reservations: having a relationship with six guys was unrealistic.
“Even though she lost weight, I’m not sure you can support her if she were to fall, Madison,” Zane explained diplomatically.
It was true. I was at least three inches taller than Madison, and before I was abducted, we had weighed roughly the same. Now I was twenty pounds lighter, but if a wave of dizziness hit me or my legs threatened to give way without warning, she wouldn’t be able to catch me.
“Okay, well, do you want me to brush your hair?” Madison offered next.
She was trying, but I couldn’t do this right now. Maybe one day I could be happy that the man I once… loved was going out with the girl I loved most in the world, but not right now. She broke the girl code. Didn’t she? Even if it hadn’t been intentional, it had happened.
“It’s okay,” I feigned a smile. “See you in the morning,” I added as an afterthought.
“I’ll be down in thirty to hook your leash back up,” Kyler teased, knowing how much I hated the damn thing already.
Luckily, Bryce had faith in Kyler’s combat medical experience to show him how to hook me back up to the dog without reinserting the needle part—whatever it was called. The port stayed in my skin when I was disconnected. The disconnecting was easy, it was the connecting back up I was uncertain about.
“I think my dog is gonna run away,” I grumpily muttered in return.
I heard his laughter, along with Zane’s and Lochlann’s. I was glad the A-holes found this amusing. On a serious note, I really was thankful for the way they were handling everything. I was comforted by their ability to try and help me get through all this by not treating me like a broken doll, while simultaneously supporting the speed I was setting.
“Are you sure you want me to come with you?” Paxton asked as we left the great room, still pulling my “dog.” “One of the other guys can help you if you want.”
I stopped and turned around. “If you don’t want to do it, you don’t have to.” I frowned. He hadn’t seen all the marks yet.
“Of course I want to,” Paxton said earnestly. “I just… we just… we haven’t…” he seemed to turn pink under my confused stare.
Realization dawned, and I leaned my forehead against his chest. “It’s not pretty,” I admitted softly. “It’s…bad, but if you don’t mind helping me, I don’t mind you seeing me naked. But if you’re not comfortable or ready to see me like that, I understand.”
I felt his lips brush the top of my head. “I’ve been masturbating to images of you in my head since I met you. I would love to see the real thing, and nothing would make me think you were any less beautiful than you are.”
I was speechless by his words for a moment before I smiled. It was my first real smile since my birthday.
31
●
Light in the Darkness
I nearly tripped over my own two feet when I exited the bathroom and walked into my room. In the thirty or so minutes that I had been in the shower, air mattresses had been inflated, and the couch had extended into a bed. Kyler was lying in my bed. Crew and Zane were on the pull-out. Lochlann was laying on an air mattress, and surprisingly enough, Golden was on the other one. I looked around, fully expecting to see Madison, but she was nowhere to be seen.
Crew and Zane were talking about football when I came into the room. Lochlann and Kyler were having their own discussion. They were talking about some house Kyler was thinking about flipping. Golden was preoccupied on his phone, not even bothering to look up from it when I came in. He looked like the only one who didn’t want to be here. So why was he?
“Where’s Madison?” I couldn’t help but ask as I padded over to the closet to grab my clothing.
In our haste to get in the shower, Paxton and I had forgotten to grab my clothing. We didn’t do anything except kiss, and I had to admit, kissing a man with a tongue ring was kind of a turn on. Actually, it was a massive turn on. I barely refrained from begging him to use that tongue ring elsewhere, but it was nice to just get acquainted with Paxton in other ways.
“She wanted to give us some alone time with you,” Zane explained before he jumped up to put the movie into the Blu-ray disc player.
I noticed how his gaze shifted between me and Golden. So, I wasn’t the only one who thought things were weird between us since I’d returned. How much did he know? How much did they know? Had Madison and Golden hooked up yet? It made me sick to my stomach, thinking about it. Madison wasn’t known for her patience with men. She loved sex. Like, a lot. She was also aggressive, letting guys know what she wanted and how fast she wanted it.
It was clear they had something going on, but what? Sure, I saw the other guys talk to her and joke around, but no one else touched her like Golden had.
I looked over at Golden. He was still very much engaged in his phone.
Why did he even bother coming down here if he didn’t want to be here? I was so close to snapping at him, but I remembered the resolution I’d made in the shower. Golden was a fixture in the men’s lives and had been, long before I showed up. I would have to accept him and all that entailed if I wanted to keep them in my life. Even if Madison was a part of the equation now.
There was no way I was going to create a wedge between the guys. I would have to le
arn to cope with it. I just wished he’d stayed away if he didn’t want to be here. I’d much rather have him present, wanting to be here with me, than him longing to be with whoever he kept texting. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out who that someone was, either.
“Do you need help dressing?” Paxton asked quietly as he ran a towel through his hair.
“Most men would offer to keep their girlfriends undressed,” Kyler teased as he removed his shirt, leaving him in just a pair of low-slung sweatpants.
I guessed they decided on a slumber party while I was showering, because they were all in some form of their pajamas. Well, when others were around, that was. Crew and Zane liked to sleep in boxers, while Kyler preferred to sleep nude. I didn’t know about the others…
“Says the man who didn’t spend the last half-hour touching and kissing every inch of her delectable body,” Pax said smugly. “My germs,” he added before taking off his shirt.
I reddened. I knew he was just trying to exaggerate for Kyler’s benefit, but he really didn’t need to go there. His lips and hands, much to my chagrin, hadn’t touched or kissed all the places I wanted him to. His lips had stayed above the neck, and his hands had stayed above the waist. Damn him and his self-control.
“Is that−” Kyler began to say.
“Not another word,” I growled at him. “I’ll stick you in time out,” I warned.
Kyler chuckled. “You know I wasn’t going to say anything, Kitten.”
“Whatever,” I grumbled before going to my closet.
I should’ve been upset over his innuendos, but I wasn’t. I was too numb to care right now.
I sifted through the clothing in my closet and nearly cheered when I saw one of the flannels the guys had left. It was loose, comfortable, and most importantly, long sleeved. By now, all my guys had seen me naked− save Golden, but he wasn’t mine anymore. Either way, I still felt vulnerable outside of the shower. I didn’t know when I would be comfortable with anyone seeing the wounds on my arms and neck. Even my guys. I knew it made no sense and was utterly inane, but in my head it made sense.
