Silent Love (Historical Christian Romance)

by Barbara Goss

  Carrie smiled and her teary eyes lit up. “Yes! Oh, yes!”

  “And I’d like Reverend Hobbs to perform our wedding.” He slipped the sapphire ring onto her finger.

  “Oh, it’s gorgeous!” she said, holding her hand out. “You've met the minister?”

  “He's the one mainly responsible for my being here right now.” He hugged her. “It’s a long story, and I’ll tell you all about it. We have so much to talk about, but we have the rest of our lives in which to do it.”

  “Simon, I thought you weren’t attracted to me. I tried everything to get close to you on the trail, but you just kept pushing me away.”

  “It’s hard to explain now, but you’ll understand on our wedding night.”

  “What now?” she asked.

  “Well, now I’ll have a talk with the desk clerk and get us two rooms, if they have them. I’m afraid we’ll have to be separated again. We can’t yet share a room.”

  Caroline frowned. “I’m afraid to let go of you.”

  Simon smiled and kissed her cheek. “Come with me, then.” He took her by the hand, and they walked up to the front desk.

  “I’m sorry, sir,” the desk clerk replied. “We only have one room left, and that's the one the two ladies just vacated.”

  “But we need two rooms!”

  “I can wheel up a side bed, but it’s all I can offer.”

  “That won’t be necessary. We’ll take the one room."

  Caroline looked at him, puzzled.

  “I have an idea.” Simon winked.

  Limping slightly, he pulled Caroline into the dining area, where Ben and Hattie sat sipping tea.

  “They only have one room. I want you two to take it. It’s paid for. My friend, Doc Harris, will put Carrie and I up. I promised I’d return so he could check my leg, anyway.”

  Hattie said, “What? I don’t think—”

  Ben put his hand up to cut her off. “That'll be fine, Simon. We’ll meet you in the lobby tomorrow for our trip back.”

  Simon left Caroline with Ben and Hattie while he went to get her bag.

  Hattie said, “Carrie, I don’t think it’s proper—”

  Ben interrupted her, and said, “You have nothing to worry about. Simon told me the whole story. They slept together many times on their journey, but Simon didn't take advantage. He’s a man of honor and a man of God, and he's waiting for his wedding night.”

  “What about her reputation?” Hattie asked.

  “We don’t know anyone here, so who cares?” Caroline said with a grin. Hattie and Ben laughed.

  “Besides,” Ben added with a wink. “I rather like the idea of having you all to myself, Hattie. I've missed you!”

  14

  Simon walked back and forth so the doctor could see he hardly limped at all. After Doc pronounced that Simon’s leg was healing fine, he spoke to Caroline directly. “Don’t let him do anything foolish for a while.”

  “I need another favor, Doc,” Simon said. “My wife and I need a place to stay tonight.”

  “Your old room's empty.” He winked at him. “I’m glad she found you.” He yawned. “I’m going to turn in myself. The kitchen's yours, should you get hungry,” he said over his shoulder, as he headed toward the other bedroom.

  “What a nice man,” Caroline said.

  “Let’s go. We have unfinished business to take care of.”

  “Why did you call me your wife?” she asked.

  “To preserve your reputation, just in case. It’s only a matter of time for you and me, anyway.”

  Caroline lay beside Simon on the big double bed. She put her arm around him, and snuggled against his chest. Simon felt content for the first time since leaving the wagon train. “Do we need rules?” he asked her.

  “No rules. I promise to behave. I think I understand, now.”

  When they got comfortable, Simon said, “Now I’ll tell you what happened to me, and then you can tell me your story, until we fall asleep.”

  “Oh, Simon. I feel so comfortable and protected lying here with you. It’s like we’ve been together like this forever. I missed it so much.”

  He stroked her brown curls. “I feel the same, but no kissing, or anything heavy. I’m a Godly human, but I am only human,” he said with a chuckle. “But I have to admit, I’ve missed this, too.”

  After Simon related his story of what happened to him since arriving in Portland, he turned to Caroline. “It’s your turn.”

  She told him about her “outing” with Ezra, and Simon frowned. “That reminds me. Are you sure he told you I was dead?”

  “I’m positive. There is no way I would ever forget hearing those words.”

  “Yet the manager insists he didn't tell Ezra that?”

  Caroline nodded. “By then Ezra had already left.”

  “I’ll have to settle this with Ezra when we get back to Oregon City.”

  “No, Simon, no!” She jumped up. “You heard the doctor. If you get into a fight you’re liable to hurt your leg.”

  “I think Ezra wanted you for himself.”

  “Maybe so, but you won out, so let it go.”

  “I’ll discuss it with Ben. Maybe we can settle this without any fighting.”

  “Promise?”

  Simon didn’t answer.

  “Promise me, Simon!”

  He sighed. “I promise. No fighting.”

  She lay back down and snuggled against his chest. “Now, tell me how Reverend Hobbs came to be responsible for your being here.”

  “If I do that,” Simon said thoughtfully, “then I also have to tell you about a dumb mistake I made.”

  “Now you have to tell me.”

  “I was prepared to forget about you, because I didn’t think you cared about me. You gave me no hint at all as to how you felt, so I resigned myself to letting you go. However, when I laid on my bed in the hotel, all I could think about was how I missed you so. Everything and everyone reminded me of some memory we'd shared. The revelation of my feelings hit me like a ton of bricks, and I had to find you and see if you might feel the same way. I was a coward, afraid to make the first move for two reasons--one, I would be turned down, and two, I wouldn’t be turned down, and I would be tempted by you beyond my willpower.”

  “Oh, Simon,” she purred.

  “There’s more." He grimaced. “I lost the paper you gave me with the directions to Hattie’s and I didn’t even have her name.”

  “Oh, no!”

  “Then I decided I’d find you no matter what it took. I went for a haircut first, so I’d look nice for you. The barber told me news I hadn’t kept up on, about Lincoln's run for president. I was reading the account when I stepped off the sidewalk and that blaming wagon sped around the corner and hit me. I laid here in Doc’s house for two months after that.”

  “In this very room?” she asked.

  “In this very room. In fact, I hated this room. This is the best time I’ve ever had here.” He laughed, and kissed her forehead.

  “Then what?” she asked.

  “As soon as Doc freed me, I got on the steamboat and went to find you.”

  “Even without the directions?”

  “Crazy, huh?” Then Simon told her about how he'd went door to door, and how everyone thought him a lunatic. "I guess Caroline's a common name in Oregon."

  She added, “Well, I didn’t get to meet many people in the area.”

  “When I went to the church the first time, Hobbs couldn’t help me. Though he was sympathetic, he didn’t know me or who I was searching for. He invited me to attend church on Sunday, so I went, and after the service—by then I felt extremely upset, so I asked him to pray with me because I needed a miracle.

  “After we prayed, I got my miracle. I mentioned it was a female I was searching for, and I told him the whole wagon train story. He interrupted me and asked, ‘Could her name be Caroline?’ I couldn’t contain my excitement! Then he introduced me to Ben, and here we are.”

  “That’s remarkab
le! Yes, Reverend Hobbs should definitely be the one to marry us.”

  “I’d like that.”

  Caroline propped herself up on one elbow, and said, “I have a confession to make, too.”

  “Oh, no,” Simon said.

  “Remember those nights we slept together in the tent and in the wagon?”

  He nodded. “How could I ever forget?”

  “It was no coincidence that you awoke to me snuggled up against you—I did it purposely.”

  “What? You minx!” he joked. Then in her ear, he whispered softly, “Why?”

  “I loved you already.” She stared into his eyes, and said, softly, “I wanted to be as close to you as I could be.”

  “Were you afraid of rejection as well?”

  “No. I was afraid of loving. I’ve never been loved, and I never have loved. I wanted the comfort from you, but the rest of it scared me. I feared my need to be loved would appear desperate, and scare you away.”

  Simon laughed and hugged her to him, kissing her forehead. “It’s a wonder we ever got together, the way we both acted.”

  “Can we get married, soon?”

  “I’m all for it. I want to make you mine, so you’ll never get away again.” He laughed.

  Simon started telling Caroline his plans for the future. “Should we pursue the farm or the lumber mill?” he asked. “Carrie?” he asked softly. He kissed her sleeping forehead. “Thank you for behaving tonight,” he whispered.

  In the morning, Doc’s housekeeper made them coffee, but they passed on the breakfast she offered them. “We’re meeting some people for breakfast,” Simon explained. “My wife’s cousin and her husband.”

  As they walked slowly, hand in hand to the hotel, Simon asked, “How did you happen to go to church in the first place?”

  “I wanted to feel closer to you, by sharing your God. Reverend Hobbs came every week and gave me Bible lessons. I told myself that if I couldn’t have you, maybe I could have a man like you, and I thought church was a good place to start.”

  “I’m glad you didn’t find anyone like me.”

  “I hadn’t yet totally given up on you.”

  “Would you like to live in Oregon City?”

  “It doesn’t matter where we live as long as we’re together.”

  Simon agreed. “I have a chance to get a land grant, or I can start a lumber business. I might even ask Ben to work with me. I haven’t made the decision yet because it’s going to be your future, too, and you should have a say in it. What would you rather be: a farmer’s wife or a lumberyard owner’s wife?”

  “I had a taste of the small farm life that Hattie and Ben have, and it’s nothing but work from sun up to sun down. And if we had the grant, it would be three hundred and some acres. That’s a lot. I think I’d prefer to be a lumberyard owner’s wife.”

  “That would be my choice, too!”

  “See? We are compatible.”

  On the boat ride back, Ben and Simon discussed his plans for the lumber business. Ben had some great ideas, and they agreed to look at land near the business district in Oregon City.

  “There’s only one problem I can see,” Ben said. “We don’t have bedrooms in our home yet, just an open loft. I really can’t put you up there. I’m planning on adding an addition soon, but for now it’s cramped.”

  “That’s not a problem. I’ve been staying at a hotel so far. I can stay there until Reverend Hobbs is able to marry us. Hopefully, that'll be as soon as possible.” He hugged Caroline. “Then we’ll live there until we find a place.”

  “Hey!” Hattie exclaimed. “The Wilson place is empty.”

  “So it is,” Ben said. “We’ll show it to them. It’s a little rustic, but until you find better…”

  “Elmer Wilson and his wife caught gold fever, went to California, and left the house behind. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind you staying there until you're able to find something better,” Hattie explained.

  Upon their return to Oregon City, Hattie threw together a quick dinner. When dinner ended, Caroline pouted, saying, “I don’t want to part with you, Simon.”

  Simon hugged Caroline. “I won’t be far. I'm going to see Reverend Hobbs first thing in the morning to arrange our marriage. Do you want to come with me?”

  Caroline nodded. “I'll meet you there.”

  After hugging on the porch for several minutes, Simon hesitated, but then raised her chin with his finger, and kissed her deeply. Caroline returned the kiss with some fervor. This being their only kiss since they said good-bye on the trail, it became fiery, quite quickly, for the both of them. When they finally broke apart, Simon murmured, “I love you so much, Carrie.”

  “And I love you, Simon.”

  Simon left for his hotel. Ben was outside with his wagon, waiting for him. Caroline stood and waved at them until they were out of sight.

  In the morning, an excited Caroline dressed for her meeting with Simon and the minister. She dressed in another of the cotton outfits she and Hattie had made for her. This one was a robin’s egg blue, with a frilly, lace collar. Caroline needed to look special, as she'd finally be married to Simon, and no one would ever be able to part them again.

  It was a beautiful morning for walking, Caroline thought. Ben had taken the wagon to work, so instead of riding a horse all dressed up, she opted to walk.

  As she strolled along the rutted road, she admired the scenery of trees, trees, and more trees, as far as the eye could see. The sun shined brightly, brushing the trees on the west side of the road with a sparkling light. Caroline gazed at the drops of dew on the tree branches, which twinkled when the sun hit them, making them look magical.

  She wasn’t alarmed when she heard the vehicle rumbling down the road behind her, as many wagons tended to pass along on the road that led to town. Just as she was ready to wave as the wagon passed, she heard the vehicle rein in. She swung around; alarmed to see it was Ezra in his fancy buggy!

  “Can I give you a lift into town?” he offered.

  “No, thank you. It’s a beautiful day, and I am enjoying the walk,” she replied hastily.

  “But I really need to talk to you. About what happened in Portland.”

  “What happened in Portland is that you lied to me.”

  “No, I didn’t. I swear the hotel manager told the story in such a way that I assumed him to be dead. You have to believe me.”

  Caroline studied him thinking he might be telling the truth, but she still refused to ride with him.

  The horse pulling his buggy snorted, and steam blasted from his nose. “Please, Caroline. Let me drive you into town to make up for the misunderstanding. You at least owe me that.”

  Caroline measured the consequences. Another mile with Ezra wouldn’t hurt, and it would bring her to the church and Simon faster. Finally, she agreed, and climbed into the buggy.

  “Are you meeting your Simon in town?” he asked as he started the buggy.

  “Yes. To see Reverend Hobbs,” she offered.

  Rather than proceed down the road to town, Ezra turned the buggy, suddenly, in the opposite direction, and cut down another road, one that was even more rutted.

  “What are you doing?” Caroline cried in alarm.

  “Just taking a shortcut. This road's not as good, but it'll take us to town faster.”

  They passed the odd, secluded house, but then Ezra pulled up in front of an elegant house. “This is my home. You must come in and see it. I’ll drive you to town after.”

  “No, Ezra. I want to go to town, now!” She stamped her foot in anger.

  “It'll only take a few minutes—”

  “I’m walking, then.” Caroline stepped out of the buggy, and headed toward the end of the long lane in front of Ezra's house, leading to the main road.

  Ezra jumped out of the buggy, grabbed her, lifted her up and over his shoulder, and toted her toward his house.

  “Put me down this instant,” she yelled while pounding on his back. Ezra, though a small, thin man, ha
d some upper-body strength as a result of his work at the livery. Caroline could do nothing to break his strong hold on her. She felt as though she were back at the Indian camp. She vowed to keep her calm, in order to keep her captor off guard, as she had before.

  He set her down in a small bedroom, decorated in all pink. “This is your room, the one I had decorated just for you, Caroline.”

  Caroline felt dizzy as a shock of fear pushed through her body. Ezra was deranged, and she felt real fear at the thought. She tried to speak without trembling. She knew it was important to remain calm in the situation, and to speak confidently.

  “It’s beautiful.” She gulped. “But I never led you to believe—”

  “From the first moment I saw you,” he blurted, “I knew you’d be my wife. After the dance, I remodeled this room for you.”

  Think fast, Caroline, she told herself. Keep him calm. Be rational.

  She said, in as kind a voice as she could muster, “It’s possible it would have worked for us Ezra, but I was already in love when we met. You’re a fine, successful man. You have to believe me when I say that my rejection wasn't personal."

  “No,” he said calmly. “This is your room and this is where you’ll stay until you agree to marry me.” With that, he left the room. She heard him turn the key in the lock.

  Caroline paced the room. She had to admit—the room did look lovely, but it was also sick at the same time. She touched the pink bedspread, all ruffles and lace, gently. She wondered where he'd gotten it. Her eyes went to the window, covered with curtains of pink and white gingham.

  Where there were curtains, there was bound to be a window. She raced to the window and pulled back the curtains in time to see Ezra looking in at her from the outside. He had a wooden plank in one hand, a hammer in the other, and an assortment of nails in his mouth.

  She released the curtains, cringing with each pound of the hammer as he set about boarding up the window. “It might as well be my coffin,” she said aloud.

  15