Witch Swindled in Westerham

by Dionne Lister

  As I walked home, I hoped they had Baileys Irish Cream at this wine bar. I think it must be the same one I’d visited on my first day. At least it had a cosy ambiance, and hopefully her friends would be good company. You never knew when you would meet someone who turned out to be a best friend. And if I wasn’t having fun, I could say I had a headache and walk home, since it wasn’t far.

  I held onto that thought as I went inside and started the washing.

  The next night, at six forty-five, I stood in front of the mirror in skinny black jeans, high-heeled knee-length black boots, and a semi-tight red polo neck jumper. The rest of my clothes lay strewn on my bed, so I couldn’t even see the covers. It had only taken five outfit changes to find one I was comfortable with. I even had make-up on and my straight hair down. What was the world coming to? I couldn’t remember the last time I’d dressed up, and yes, jeans was still dressing up, at least for me. I wasn’t averse to showing a bit of cleavage either, but it was too damn cold for that. My girls wanted to stay warm, and I was only too happy to oblige them.

  I grabbed my clutch and teetered downstairs. I wasn’t bad in heels, but I didn’t wear them much, so I wasn’t the most elegant in them. I didn’t know how supermodels did it, gliding down the runway and in awkward clothes to boot. I guess that’s why they earned the big bucks. Okay, so it wasn’t a valuable skill, but whatever.

  As I clopped across the hallway floor, Angelica came out of the living room.

  “Hi, Ma’am. I didn’t know you were home.”

  “I got back about ten minutes ago. Are you off to the wine bar again?” She smirked.

  I sniffed. I’d had a perfectly good and non-alcoholic reason for being there the first and only time I’d been, but she’d made a big deal about me drinking in the morning. “Yep.”

  “Are you walking?”

  “I thought I might. It’s still light out, although I’m not sure how I’ll go in these boots.” Maybe I should change them.

  “It’s too late for that, dear. You’re going to be late.”

  Crap. I’d forgotten to shield my thoughts. Angelica was a mind reader extraordinaire, and I should know better.

  “Yes, you should.” She tittered; she was too cultured to giggle.

  “Doesn’t take much to make you laugh,” I grumbled. I already felt stupid. There was no need to rub my witchy face in it. I said the words to shield my thoughts. Done. And stay out.

  “Would you like a lift to the wine bar?”

  “I won’t say no. Only if it’s not too much trouble.”

  “Of course not, dear.” Angelica pulled out her phone and pressed a couple of buttons. “Are you boys close by? Good. Can you give Lily a lift up to the wine bar? Yes… She’s going out tonight.” She rolled her eyes. “I don’t know. Ask her yourself. See you soon.” She hung up and turned to me. “That’s the most I’ve heard William say in a while. He doesn't seem to like the idea of you going out. Anyway, dear, you can wait outside. They’ll be here in a jiffy. Have fun.”

  I half laughed. Trust her to offer for someone else to give me a lift. “I will. Thanks, Ma’am.” Great, Agent Crankypants was going to be in fine form. At least it was only a two-minute drive.

  As soon as I’d shut the front door, William’s black Range Rover turned into the driveway. He pulled up next to me, and I got into the back seat. “Hey.”

  “Big night planned?” asked Beren.

  No, but they didn’t have to know that. “My new friend from Costa asked me out with her and her friends. I’m looking forward to having a few beverages and kicking back. It’s been a while since I’ve had any fun. I just hope I don’t drink too much and vomit.” I giggled because I was sure that made me sound even more clueless.

  William didn’t just scowl at me through the mirror, as per usual. He actually turned around, lifted his pointer finger, and aimed it at me. His angry face was firmly in place. “Be careful. It’s not safe for a single woman out there alone. Don’t leave your drink unattended. Don’t go home with any strangers, and don’t drink too much. If anything happens to you, James will have our heads. So don’t be stupid, Lily. Got it?”

  I rolled my eyes—both for effect and because he was being overly dramatic. “What. Do I have two fathers now? You and James need to settle, petal. I’m twenty-four, not twelve, and I can go out and have fun with my new friends. It’s not up to you to say what I do or don’t do, and you can pass that onto James if he has a problem with it.” Honestly, did anyone ever tell the guys what they could and couldn’t do? Besides, I wasn’t an idiot. He glared harder, if that were even possible.

  Beren shook his head, but his tone was softer. “Please just look after yourself, Lily. We’d hate if anything happened to you. Okay?”

  Argh! How could I be snarky when he was so nice? “Don’t worry. I was kidding about the drinking too much. I don’t even like wine. Look, I’ll be careful. Besides, you guys’ll be outside lurking somewhere. Why don’t I call you when I’m ready to go home, and you can give me a lift?”

  William’s jaw unclenched, and his shoulders relaxed a little, but the grooves in his forehead stayed firmly embedded.

  Beren said, “Thank you.”

  “No problem.” I huffed out a breath and looked out the window. It was nice to have people who cared, but I was feeling a bit smothered. And it wasn’t like they cared about me because they liked me in particular. They felt a sense of duty to my brother, so it was like having three brothers, or two dads and a brother. I had to admit that Beren wasn’t as painful to deal with as William or James. Even Angelica seemed okay with me going out. It was probably because she was a woman, and she understood how it felt to be unnecessarily overprotected.

  I breathed deeply, then let my frustration go. I was going to have fun tonight, whether William and Beren wanted me to or not. So there. I stuck my tongue out at the back of William’s seat.

  “Very mature, Lily. You know I can see you.” William raised his brows at me in the rear-view mirror, but I saw his lips twitch.

  “Good.” I grinned.

  He shook his head. “We’re here.” William pulled up to the kerb. That really was quick. I should’ve walked.

  “Thanks for the lift. I’ll give you a call later. You’ll still be on duty at 4:00 a.m., won’t you?”

  William opened his mouth, no doubt to lecture, but Beren laughed, cutting him off. “Good one, Lily. If you’re not out by the time we get off at one, we’ll just carry you out.”

  My mouth dropped open. “You wouldn’t!”

  Beren grinned. “Yes, we would. Now go have fun, and stay out of trouble.”

  Argh! Living here was never going to work. Maybe I should move back to Australia. I slid out of the car into the bright sunlight. “See ya.” I didn’t know if I would ever get used to it being light until after 7:00 p.m. in spring. It did feel so much safer because of that. There were no shadows to hide in. But I really should learn some attacking spells. There must be a witch Taser-type spell. If there wasn’t, I was totally going to invent it.

  I crossed the road to the pretty Tudor building I’d visited on my first day in Westerham. This time when I pushed the door open, it was to the sound of excited chatter, laughing, jazz music through speakers, and lots of people. Many of them were in work clothes: shirts, jackets, black or grey skirts and pants. I was glad I’d worn jeans—a dress would’ve been a bit much, not that I had a lot of dresses. I’d always been a bit of a tomboy, tagging along with James and his friends, even though I knew they hated having me around. I was always James’s annoying little sister, until our parents disappeared. That was when he became more protective, and he preferred having me where he could keep an eye on me.

  There were so many people that it took me a minute to find Olivia. There she was, sitting at a table in the corner. She saw me and waved. I waved back and headed over. She was sitting with seven others.

  Oh my God. My eyes widened, but then I quickly tried to look as normal as possible. My heart raced. T
his wasn’t going to be good. How was I supposed to fake it all night? It was time to channel Angelica’s poker face.

  “Hey, Lily. I’m so glad you could make it!” Olivia stood and gave me a hug. “This is my fiancé, Ernie.” She beamed, and he held out his hand to shake mine.

  This could not be happening. I held out my hand and hoped my smile came across as legit and not crazy town. “Lovely to meet you, Ernie.” But it wasn’t lovely to meet him. I resisted the urge to crush his hand in mine.

  “Lovely to meet you too, Lily. I hear you’re going to be our official photographer next weekend.” Ernie was Ernest Smythe, the man with the slicked-back hair who I’d seen through my camera making out with none other than Olivia’s archenemy, Camilla.

  I’d had a feeling I shouldn’t have come. When would I learn to trust my instincts?

  I sat. This was going to be a long night.

  Chapter 4

  Much to William and Beren’s satisfaction, I called them at eleven thirty. Olivia’s friends were nice, and she was a lot of fun, but all I could think about was that her fiancé was cheating on her and what the hell was I supposed to do? Not to mention I might have a hand in getting her fiancé arrested for ripping people off. I opened my mouth about four times to tell Olivia what I knew. It had been a massive struggle to keep the information to myself. What kind of friend did that make me?

  I was quiet the entire ride home: all of two minutes.

  “Is something wrong?” Beren asked when we reached Angelica’s.

  There was no point telling them anything, yet. I needed to work things out in my head first. I knew that once they knew, it would be up to me to get some covert information on him, and I still had to photograph their engagement, unless he was arrested first. And what would happen to my new friendship with Olivia when she finally found out I’d helped put her man in jail? I crossed my fingers that he was an unwilling participant. Yeah, right.

  “No. It was really noisy, and it’s been a while since I’ve been out. Maybe I miss my friends a little too. But I’m fine.” That was the truth. I’d been away for almost two months, and I’d never gone that long without seeing my friends. I messaged them every now and then, but since we were in opposite time zones, I hadn’t had a chance to call. And I hadn’t told them I was moving for good yet. Even though my paperwork was in, it didn’t mean I wouldn’t change my mind.

  “You didn’t leave early because of us, did you?” William had turned around, and those wrinkles were back on his forehead. He was going to age prematurely if he kept that up.

  “No. Don’t flatter yourself.” I laughed, taking the sting out my words. “I had fun. Shout-talking isn’t my favourite thing. Olivia and I have arranged to go into London next week sometime. I’ve never been, and there’s so much to see. She offered to show me around.” I was really looking forward to it, too. Maybe I’d check Mum’s diary and see if she and Dad had done anything in London. They’d been a few times since I was born. It must have been for PIB stuff, now that I think about it. Maybe they contracted Mum to work sometimes, like they were doing with me now. I’d have to ask Angelica. “Night.”

  “Night,” they said at the same time.

  I went inside and straight to the freezer. Tonight called for ice cream. I opened the freezer door. Bummer. Nothing. I pouted. Frozen peas, ice cubes, frozen chicken, and that was it. Angelica probably didn’t eat ice cream. In fact, I’d never seen her do anything for fun. I’d have to rectify that. Everyone needed some soul-feeding time—and I didn’t just mean food. Doing your favourite thing was good for your mental health. Photography and running were it for me. Nothing could cheer me up like a good bout of exercise or ice cream, okay, and coffee. I sighed. But there was no ice cream. Whaaaaa! I wished I knew more magic. Then I’d travel myself to the nearest supermarket via the public toilet, grab some chocolate-choc-chip extravaganza and pop back.

  Beaten on all fronts, I trudged up to my room. There was nothing left to do but go to sleep. I turned on the light. Argh! My bed was a garbage dump of clothes. Okay, so they were clean clothes, but I didn’t want to put them all away now. My shoulders slumped.

  “Lily. You’re home early.”

  I turned. Angelica was in a fluffy white dressing gown—a dangerous colour for messy people like me, but not a problem for anal personalities like her. Her hair was neatly contained in a bun. I didn’t think I’d ever seen her dishevelled. “Yes, Ma’am. It was super loud, and I’d had enough.”

  She looked over my shoulder. “Settled in, I see. This reminds me of your Sydney apartment.” She shook her head.

  “Yeah, I know. I’m going to tidy up. Can you teach me how to do it magically? Pretty please?”

  “Do you promise to keep your room tidy from now on if I teach you the spell?”

  “Yes. I promise.” There’s no way I could’ve made that promise pre-magic, but if it took a few words and the wave of a hand, it should be easy-peasy to maintain. Who said a leopard couldn’t change its spots?

  “It’s not hard, actually. All you have to do is envisage your things where you want them, then listen for the hum of power and say, ‘So many things in a jumbled mess, make it clean enough to impress.’”

  That sounded like the spell she’d used at my place in Cronulla. Okay, here goes nothing. I imagined all the clothes on my bed hung up, and the shoes neatly arranged at the bottom of my wardrobe. I shut my eyes and found the hum that underlined everything if you only took notice. Then I said, “So many things in a jumbled mess, make it clean enough to impress.” My skin tingled. I opened my eyes. Holy crap! My bed was clear. I ran to the wardrobe and opened one door. My stuff was all there, just as I’d imagined! Wow. I jumped up and down. “Woohoo! I did it. Yay, me!”

  Angelica laughed. “I told you it wasn’t hard.”

  “Is most magic that easy?”

  “Pretty much. Some things are hard, like travelling, and some spells can be pushed back to the caster, so you have to be careful what you do to other people, but honestly, Lily, you should be trying more things by now. I gave you the Beginner’s Book of Spells last week. Haven’t you been reading it?”

  “Well, yes, but I didn’t think to try anything. I thought I had to wait for you to show me.”

  “There’s nothing dangerous in that book, so get practicing. I want to see you do three more spells by Monday.”

  “Okay. And thanks.” Three spells by Monday were totally doable. My boring weekend just got more interesting.

  Now, what to pick? I happily thought about it as I drifted to sleep.

  By lunchtime Saturday, I’d learnt a cleaning spell. I know it didn’t sound exciting, and trust me, if someone had told me one of the first spells I’d choose to learn was for housework, I would have laughed. We’ve established I didn’t do it that much anyway. But, it was pretty awesome for two reasons. One was the obvious: goodbye scrubbing toilets and mopping floors. The other was that when you did the spell, you had to choose where the dirt would go. The toilet was easy: I imagined it in the sewerage pipes far away from the house, but dirt on the floors? I tested imagining it as a little pile outside the back door, and guess what? The little pile was there when I checked.

  This opened up all sorts of interesting scenarios for having fun or getting payback. Someone being a pain in the arse? No problem. Just smear toilet grime on their behind. They wouldn’t even notice until someone told them. Someone bitching about you burning their coffee or giving them sticky change? Magic some dirt into their drink. They’d never know until it was too late. I had an inkling that magic wasn’t meant to be used for that, but I wasn’t about to let that stop me. I did promise myself I would only use it in emergencies. There had to be some boundaries, or I’d be out of control in no time.

  In my excitement at magicking, I cleaned the whole house. Funnily enough, by the time I’d finished, I was tired. Not as tired as if I’d physically done everything, and it had only taken twenty minutes, but still tired enough that when I’d finished, I
only just managed to make a coffee with the machine William gave me and slump into one of the armchairs in the living room.

  Angelica was out, so I called her. “Hi, Ma’am.”

  “Hello, dear. How are you?”

  “I’m good. I just cleaned the whole house… with magic!”

  “Congratulations. Is that all you wanted to tell me? I’m just in the middle of something.”

  “Oh, sorry. No. I wanted to ask is it normal to be tired after doing lots of magic?”

  “Yes, until you get used to it. It’s like running: you start off weaker, and you get stronger as you go, but you’re using your own energy to control the source magic, kind of like if you were standing in a stream and redirecting fast-flowing water. I have to go now. I’ll see you tonight for dinner.”

  “Okay. Bye.” The phone dropped out. Maybe I should read or something. I was tired but bored—that horrible in-between feeling where an unnameable irritation gnawed at your stomach. Normally if I felt like this, I’d call my friends, and we’d go into the city or for a coffee, but I didn’t have any good friends here. Maybe I should call Millicent? I hadn’t seen her for a while—she worked five days a week, and on the weekends, she and James did couple stuff.

  I dialled Millicent anyway, but James answered. “Lily. How’d you go last night?”

  I rolled my eyes. As if he hadn’t heard I’d gotten home early and how I’d gotten home. “Fine, thanks. Is Mill there?”

  “No, well, yes, but we’re at the doctor. She’s been a bit sick the last few of days. A stomach bug, I think. We’re here to see if we can get her something for it.” I heard retching in the background, and my stomach turned. I gagged. I was a sympathy vomiter. If I heard someone vomit or smelled vomit, I was done.

  I spoke quickly. “Yeah. Tell her I hope she gets better soon. Bye.” I hung up. If he wanted to tell me anything else, he could call me at a less gross moment. I so wasn’t having kids. Nope. Poo and vomit were no-go zones. That cut out any idea of me having dogs too, and probably cats. Now I was sad. I liked animals. Ooh, maybe I could magic their poo into the sewer! Hmm, that could work.