Unlovely Things (Love By Design Book 2)

by M. C. Cerny

  “Because we are kidnapping him for his bachelor party.” Duh? What part of this did my accomplices forget? We had this planned for weeks since he told us he proposed to Little T-Rex. I had duties to follow, expectations to uphold and Whit was becoming the weakest link in my plan.

  “Stupid shit.” Stupid was going to be when I smacked Whit upside the head inside my plumbing van I cleaned out specifically for this task hiding my tools at my dad’s house.

  “Just distract him so I can go in, bag him and grab him.”

  “You make it sound like we’re going to kill him.”

  “Stop being a pussy and get with the program Jones.” The second my best friend and cousin decided he was getting married I had this bachelor weekend planned out, with a little help from Kristen of course, and no one, not even Whit, Chase or anyone else was going to take this from me. It was a best man’s duty, even if the fucker hadn’t asked me yet. We’d get there. He’d see reason after this awesome weekend. At least, that was the part I kept telling myself since I promised Taylor it wouldn’t be anything illegal or straight out of The Hangover movie. I was miffed she prefaced this with no tigers or high speed chases in stolen cars. It’s like she knows what goes on inside my head. Women. Pfft.

  “Might I remind you I am technically an officer of the law and you are engaging in criminal activity with the threat to kidnap across state lines.” I shook my head buzzing back.

  Chase clicked onto our frequency, “Says the Park Ranger.”

  “Listen up Smokey Bear–just rough him up a little.” Because my bud deserved it as far as I was concerned. Whittaker was a Park Ranger for crying out loud acting like the damn FBI. My fucking wingman was leaving me for a chic and a suffocating ring around his finger. He deserved a little parting gift in my honest opinion.

  “I feel like someone should be concerned about the outcome here.”

  “Don’t you worry your pretty little head Boy Scout, just make sure he doesn’t get the first punch off and we’re golden.” Hunter had fists of steel I didn’t want to contend with so we had to follow the plan.

  Whit continued to grumble over the radio pissing me off. “I feel like this isn’t going to turn out well, especially for me.”

  “Fucking code!” If Whit wasn’t going to follow the rules then I damn well would pull this off solo. It was time to get this show on the road.

  I entered the house with Whit on my tail using the key Taylor gave me while she did a girl’s night with my Pebbles. I paid to have the girls enjoy a spa night over at their favorite place and promised Taylor numerous times that Hunter would be just fine. You would think I really was a jerk the way she practically made me promise to keep him safe. Pfft. Such little trust they gave me. We weren’t reenacting the movie ‘The Hangover’ for crying out loud. We walked through the living room and were almost down the hall when the kitchen light flicked behind us on scaring the shit out of us both.

  “Dude, come on!” Whit yelled before pushing me out of the way walking back in the direction of the kitchen, our flashlights and headlamps no longer necessary.

  “I was waiting for you assholes to try knocking me out and bagging me for the airport, but you’re loud as fuck outside my windows.” I gave Whit a dirty look as Hunter gave us the rundown on our failed mission. “And honestly I got tired of waiting for your surprise appearance.” Hunter stood at the counter drinking a glass of water and I felt deflated while Whit at least has the decency to look shamefaced.

  Instead I ignored the obvious question and went with, “Why you drinking so much water, cousin.”

  Hunter raised a single telling eyebrow. “Because I figured when my fiancée is staying with your pack of trouble for spa night,” he said the later with quotation marks. ‘I’m probably only going to be offered alcohol for the next forty-eight hours.”

  Shrugging I answered him, “more like seventy-two but who’s counting?”

  “Uh huh.” Hunter downed the rest of his water and grabbed a duffle bag from the bar stool. “Let’s go numbnuts.” He walked out the door waiting for us to leave the house.

  “Always the cute nicknames with you.” I flicked my cousin in the chest as we filed out of the house passing him, letting Hunter at least lock up.

  Opening the door, Chase looked over his shoulder at us with a smirk while keeping the van running. “Nice, a cooperative victim.”

  “Shut up and drive.” Hunter got into the front while Whit and I shared the seat in the back I had to install special for this trip..

  “I take it you knew?”

  “Of course. Like I wasn’t going to get it out of Taylor Jane when she lies worse than a politician and has more guilt than a priest.”

  “Dude, you had sex and she told you.” Jealousy was pretty much second nature for me these days and I wish I had a last hurrah with Pebbles but she was a hissing she-devil I wanted no part of this week period or no period.

  “Whatever.” Hunter wasn’t going to kiss and tell and no matter how drunk he got I was sure he would still be in charge of all his faculties this entire trip. I considered the win in just getting him in the van without us having a fist fight crashing in the house or yard. He could be as lame as he wanted this weekend, but we would force him to cut loose for his own good.

  “Okay, our flight leaves Albany in the morning 8:35am so we’ve got a room for the night up there.”

  “Cool we can play a few drinking games.” I suggested hoping to lighten the mood.

  “Dude, if you even think of playing some Never Have I Ever shit, I’m out.” Hunter grumbled up front and I was starting to feel a little underappreciated for all the effort I put into coordinating this weekend.

  “Hunter that was years ago and it’s not my fault you weren’t into a four person orgy in the pantry.” I swore my cousin had a broom stick shoved up his ass before we picked him up.

  “Who plays that game in the pantry?” Whit asked while Hunter thumbed in my direction.

  “The asshole sitting next to you with his sister.” Hunter then pointed at Chase who looked pissed from my view in the mirror.

  Chase half turned from the driver’s seat looking at me not appreciating Hunter’s comment about Kristen when he added to me, “And I don’t want broken shit in the hotel since it’s on my credit card.” As if, though to be fair he’s probably recalling the one time we did get rowdy on the last guys trip to Canada, but whatever.

  “I hope to god there are no other surprises Damien because I would hate to have to explain to my aunt why I killed her son.”

  “Pfft, mom loves me and you’ve been threatening to kill me for years.”

  “And she knows what an idiot you can be.”

  I jerked my thumb in his direction, “No faith in this one. None at all.” For the next hour I found myself the butt of all the jokes on the hour long ride to the airport hotel.

  18

  Kristen

  “Thank you so much for inviting me to come along. I’ve never actually been to Vegas before.” Lia flipped a braid of dark hair and purple dye over her shoulder before putting her carryon case in the trunk. Whittaker’s new girlfriend was younger than I realized. Not even twenty-one, but he only agreed to help Damien with his kidnap Hunter plan if I brought her along with Taylor and me. It kind of put a kink in my plans to take Taylor to see Thunder Down Under. Who wouldn’t want to see hot Australian guys stripping off their clothes and strutting their dingle berries across a stage? I guess this was his subtle way of enforcing crowd control on us. Good thing I still had my fake ID from college. Lia could almost pass looking like me in dim light and good makeup. We were so going to see that show if it killed me.

  “That makes three of us. I think Kristen has been waiting for this day since junior high school.” Taylor got into the passenger seat of the car giving me a wink.

  “Close, more like sometime after the gumbo incident and before Prom.” I chuckled.

  “Is that what your Top Secret Pinterest account says?” Taylor teased.<
br />
  “Shush.” I tell her driving directly to the airport. Our flight is later than the boys so I don’t bother renting a hotel in Albany because we’ll fly directly to Las Vegas.

  It didn’t take a ton of coordination between Damien and me. It was amazing what we could accomplish between the two of us when it had nothing to do with us, just our best friends getting married. I still wanted to spirit the rings away, but Damien advised against it. I guess we would be saving Elvis for another couple in our group

  I hated when he was right.

  .

  So this weekend would be the six of us, me, Taylor, Lia, Hunter, Whit, and Demon. I had plans for us to visit the Wax Museum, the Shark Aquarium, the Spa and all the clubs we could fit into the next three nights with pampering. I knew I wasn’t going to convince Taylor to not marry Hunter and instead move in with me and adopt twenty cats, but I could at least try to be happy for her.

  It was the happy part I struggled with because I still didn’t feel reassured my bestie wasn’t dumping me just like Evan.

  “Hey are there any tattoo parlors near the hotel?” Lia asked while she played on her phone from the back seat.

  “I’m sure we could find one,” and I turned my wrist over glancing at the scar that polka dotted my arm from the stainless steel screws that used to hold bone together.

  “Uh?” Taylor gave me the side eye and I knew what she was thinking, which one of us was going to have to sign the parental okay for this kid to get a tattoo. I shrugged because she was at least 18 so that wouldn’t be a problem for us but it was cute that Taylor thought so.

  “What kind of tattoo would you get?” She asked still flipping through her phone.

  “Something to cover up this scar.” I rose up my arm so she could see in the rearview mirror the deep puckers left behind.

  “Oh wow.” She crawls up from her seat to look at it closer from the awkward angle while I’m driving.

  “It doesn’t hurt. It’s just an ugly reminder from an accident years ago.” I said. Taylor gets quiet and flips through her purse pretending to look for something. We didn’t talk about the fall, the break, or the fragile state of my heart following what happened. I think she senses I won’t talk about it but that that’s not entirely true. I mean, how does one talk about something that was profound to an adolescent but makes less sense as an adult. I guess you can’t, not really anyway.

  “Well, I want to get a small camera tattoo, your arm almost looks like a wing.”

  “A wing?” I asked.

  “Yeah, I know you’re driving but those puckers branch out, almost like a feather. Totally looks like you could have a huge angel wing on your arm.” I couldn’t see it, but Lia seemed to have an eye for these things I remembered Whit telling me at Easton’s she was getting into photography.

  “Well, why stop at one?” Taylor husked and I felt a calling toward the idea. If she got all snarky I might even do it out of spit and partly because my mother would hate the idea of ink insidiously lying under my skin.

  “You know what, you find the place Lia and I’ll do it.” I said as I pulled into Albany Airport’s long term parking garage. Two sets of eyes snapped up to look at me.

  “Uh, what just happened?” Taylor regarded me from reorganizing her purse’s compartments.

  “Tattoo talk, you in or out?” I said to Taylor.

  “Out. I’m getting married and I would have no idea what to get that my dress wouldn’t hide.”

  “I suppose your right,” I hesitated thinking about the dresses we planning to wear.

  “Should I wait until after the wedding?” The dresses would be strapless summer cocktail dresses in a chiffon fabric.

  “No, I think the angel wings are cool. If you like them go for it.”

  And that was how I agreed to get not one but two very cool tattoos this weekend.

  19

  Damien

  “So are we hitting up the strip club first or the steakhouse?” I asked. The plane had landed on time and we walked into the air conditioned airport the four of us juggling carryon bags.

  “Not that anything got lost in translation buddy, but you realize we’re all in relationships except you?” Whit cuffed me on the shoulder and I shrugged him off. What they didn’t know didn’t hurt them, or me since Chase didn’t know about Kristen and me.

  “Live a little man. Besides, isn’t your girl like 12?” His face clouded over and earned me a chuckle from Hunter who shook his head refusing to get involved.

  “Alright, gentleman, cool it.” Chase looked around before using his phone to call us a ride with one of the local taxis services.

  Hunter looked up and down the street from the curb. “No limo?”

  Another thumb in my direction followed by a snarky comment. “You can thank this cheap ass.” Whit joked.

  These guys were really ganging up on me. “Hey, come on now. I did spring for the suite.”

  Chase muttered. “Only because I’m not sharing a bed with you, asshole.”

  “That’s not what you said in Canada?” I snickered remembering a younger, less serious Chase.

  He looked at me over his sunglasses he was sporting in the sun. “Yeah, and I’m still paying those charges off because you dragged a mattress in from a room across the hall when the cleaning lady left the door open scratching up the wall.”

  “Nothing wrong with man love.” I shrugged letting it go. “Besides, the big guy here threatened to sleep on the floor and it was first leave back home.” I pointed at Hunter who grunted.

  “I slept in worse spots, don’t blame me. The Army was rather accommodating.” Hunter clarified.

  “You can keep your drunk hands to yourself.” Chase said.

  The driver pulled up to the curb picking us up and then dropped us off in front of the hotel so we could get rid of our carryon bags. All four of us raised our heads to the imposing hotel tower.

  “Nice job, cousin.” Hunter clapped me on the back appreciatively, and we walked inside the Bellagio’s marble and glass entryway. Gold lined everything with bright pops of color.

  A group of girls walked by us dressed for a night out on the town, a little early given the hour but I was sure my eyes were the only ones that wandered to take a gander at their scantily clad outfits. They smiled and one waved, but I was too focused on how her hair wasn’t as long as Pebbles and how her smile wasn’t as genuine. I smirked letting them continue their stroll by as the guys savored the glam of our accommodations a second longer. This place was the stuff of teenage wet dreams and movies. I almost regretted agreeing to Taylor’s furtive promise to behave in this den of sin, but the knowledge that the girls would be landing shortly as I looked at my watch made me breathe with relief. I didn’t know all the details and I didn’t know when they were showing up. This was still a separate trip as far as Kristen was concerned.

  Separate my ass.

  “I’ll forgive the transportation if there are four beds in this room.” Hunter spits out walking inside with his bag slung over shoulder. I lagged behind with Chase to pick up the driver’s tab cursing Whit for insulting my cheap ass.

  “I’m calling shot gun!” Whit snagged his keycard and raced to the elevator as we fell in line.

  Hunter wrapped his beefy arm around my head messing up my hair. “I gotta say cousin, sometimes you pleasantly surprise me.”

  “I’m all about family, Hunt. Now, let’s go see some ladies about some dances. This is your last chance to make a break for it.” I joked into groaning faces that followed me out into the night.

  *****

  We ended up at a club on the outskirts of town. Something called the Stone Pony. As soon as we walk into the fog lights and haze of violet lights I knew this place was a shithole, but perfect. Girls walked around in barely there outfits and the guys hung around the bar getting drinks leering at the company around them working for tips. Chase was nursing his vodka and Gatorade like a champ and I wondered if the guy was going to ask us to start throwing a
football next in the Bellagio Gardens. Whit stuck with the craftiest beer on tap, but I didn’t expect anything less. Hunter and I manned up to drink some aged whisky.

  My cousin is tapping his jeans looking uncomfortable when he tells me, “I need to call Taylor Jane.” Hunter is grabbing for his phone I wished I had confiscated from him back at the room. Pansy couldn’t even wait a day before getting all ants in his pants without his girl, it was sickeningly cute.

  I make a vomiting sound which earned me the dirty look I was expecting from him. “Really? We’ve been here all of five minutes. Did you chub out already?” I said getting annoyed. Whit laughed and sucked down his beer like a big baby leaving me on my own.

  “Stop trying to get the man in trouble.” Chase chugged his electrolyte concoction. I was convinced he was mad his girl was at home pet sitting for her aunt or something. It wasn’t my fault she found dogs preferable to a veterinarian.

  “So who is the special boy around here?” We turned to see a woman dressed in cat ears and a tail slink her way into our personal space. Hunter stiffened leaning back into the bar as far as he can but getting nowhere when she sidled up to him.

  I inclined back into him nudging him with a whisper while Catwoman smiled at us licking her shiny red lips. “Dude, stop acting like you’re going to catch a cold here.”

  Hunter grunted, the typical response and I decided to push him– except he’s beaten me to it.

  “This guy right here.” Before I know it, Hunter has paid the woman a fifty dollar bill and I’m being hauled off to a darkened room in the back of the club. He definitely pulled a fast one on me and I was beginning to feel like a creeper. I guessed it was too much to ask for Hunter to get even one lap dance, but if he was buying, I wasn’t exactly going to say no. I did bring him to a sordid place I found up on the internet as one of Vegas’ top ten seedy establishments just to fuck with him. I knew he wasn’t going to do anything and this whole trip was more about him appeasing me.