by J. S. Cooper
“You can’t watch someone’s every step, Zane.” She grabbed my hands earnestly. “You can’t protect people from themselves.”
“I can try though.” I shook my head and changed the subject. “Would you like to cook dinner or take Leonardo out to eat tonight?”
“What do you mean, would I like to cook dinner? What about us cooking dinner together?” She rolled her eyes.
“Well, if you’re going to be the mother of my child and my companion—” For some reason I couldn’t bring myself to say “wife.” It seemed too permanent and constrained. Too real. I ignored Lucky’s hurt expression at my words. I knew she had noticed my use of the word companion. “Shouldn’t you learn how to throw a good dinner party?”
“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that.” She grimaced and a flash of worry pricked me. “If I am carrying your child, it doesn’t mean I’m going to become some sort of domestic goddess.”
“I don’t expect that, I’m not Charlie Sheen,” I joked and she frowned again.
“What are you talking about? What does Charlie Sheen have to do with it?”
“Sorry, poor joke.” I grabbed her hands and caressed them softly, bending down to kiss each finger. “Let’s not start the day off with an argument. We’ll go to dinner instead then, okay?”
“No. I want to cook.” She laughed and I looked at her in bewilderment. I shook my head in exasperation. Lucky was a typical female, so very hard to understand. “I just don’t want that to be an expectation that I’m going to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, cooking for you all the time.”
“I don’t think I have ever pictured that.” I laughed heartily, happy that we were back on track and joking again. “What’s wrong?” I looked at her nervous expression and worry filled me. Did she already know she was pregnant?
“This guy, Leonardo, he’s not like your other friends, is he? The ones that came to the party?” She grimaced.
I laughed. “I’m guessing you weren’t fond of them?”
She shook her head and made a face, and I wanted to kiss her and take away her obvious unease. “I’m sorry my friends weren’t very nice to you at the party. In my defense, I don’t really like most of those people. I just know them.”
“Why did you invite them over then?”
“I wanted you to think I had a lot of friends and that I wasn’t some sort of weirdo whose only friend was his brother.”
“But you have Leonardo?”
“Yeah.” I looked away quickly and I wondered if I was doing the right thing. “Now, get in the shower and get ready, and I’ll make breakfast and we can get to work.”
“Are we going to go interview someone else?” she asked excitedly.
I shook my head. I watched as her long, brown hair swung back and forth. Her curly locks were bouncing up and down as she moved, and I wanted to reach over to pull a ringlet down to see if it would coil back up.
“So what are we going to do then?” she questioned, cutting me off.
“All shall be revealed soon.” I laughed and pulled on a pair of boxer shorts. “Now hurry and go shower.”
“Aye-aye, Captain.” She rolled her eyes and saluted me as she finally went into the bathroom.
I grinned as I heard the water running and then looked at the duvet cover. It was a pretty ugly color, I thought as I stared at it. But I certainly wasn’t going to allow her to get me to purchase anything pink or frilly. No way, Jose. The pink could be saved for a little girl’s room. If we had a girl, of course. If Lucky was pregnant. Oh shit, what if she was pregnant! The enormity of that thought hit me like a ton of bricks. What if I had a baby? How would I be able to ensure that Lucky and the baby were protected and safe—that they wouldn’t leave me? The thought of losing Lucky and our child was too hard for me to imagine. A churning sensation gripped me and I felt my head pounding with worry. I could not let anything happen to either of them. I couldn’t mess this up. I grabbed my phone, and any last-minute concerns left my mind as I called Leonardo. Love meant having to make hard decisions. And sometimes it meant knowing when to let go and let another guy take over. In my heart of hearts, I had already accepted what I knew to be true. Leo was a better man than I, and it was he I would entrust my Lucky to. Because sometimes love meant letting go when you knew you couldn’t provide everything your loved one needed. Even if they didn’t know what those things were.
Chapter 2
Lucky
I held my stomach as I showered. I wasn’t sure how I felt about the possibility that I may be pregnant. I was a fool for getting myself into a situation like this. After everything I had planned for my future, the fact that I had unprotected sex with Zane without even a thought of using protection made me cringe with embarrassment. I knew better than that.
“Have I told you that you’re beautiful…” I heard Zane singing in the bedroom and I smiled to myself. He had a nice, deep voice, it was melodic and he was able to hold a tune pretty well. I wondered if he played the guitar as well. I felt like I had asked him if he played a musical instrument, but I couldn’t remember what his answer had been. Musical men held a certain attraction for me, and I’d love it if he serenaded me. I laughed at my romantic notions and continued soaping up my body.
As I shampooed my hair, I thought about the last 24 hours and Zane’s revelation about Braydon and his brother. I couldn’t believe that Braydon was a drug dealer. He was a big-time movie star; why would he be dealing drugs? I scrubbed away and thought about everything that had been said the night before. It seemed to me that everything was happening so quickly between us. Just a few weeks ago, he was still the gorgeous but shady guy that I talked to every Friday night. He was the guy who brought in a different girl to the diner and made me scoff about him with Shayla and Maria. I understood why he did that now, and my heart went out to him, but there was still a layer of worry that seemed to enclose me. I think it was because of the pregnancy, or possible pregnancy. There was a part of me that believed that Zane was only interested in a relationship because he thought it was the right thing to do. Maybe he felt obligated to take care of our child and me. A chill ran through me. What if he only wanted to date me because he thought I was pregnant? Did I want to be with a man who was only with me out of obligation and a sense of propriety? And what would happen if it turned out that I wasn’t pregnant?
“Lucky, are you okay?” Zane knocked on the door, interrupting my depressing thoughts, and I smiled.
“I’m fine,” I called out to him.
“Should I come in and get the parts of your back you can’t reach?”
“No thanks, Zane.” I laughed and scrubbed myself, half-hoping he’d come in and join me. I don’t know what it was about him, but I felt lonely when he wasn’t by my side.
“You don’t know how hard it is for me to stand outside the door and not come in, Lucky.”
“Well, at least I can think you want me for more than my body if you don’t come in.” I spoke lightly, but I was only half-joking.
“Don’t be silly, my dear.” Zane growled at me through the door. “So, I called Leo and he’ll be over at about 6 p.m.”
“Are we going to go to the grocery store first then?” I turned off the shower and stepped out carefully, grabbing one of the plush towels from the rack and wrapping it around my body tightly.
“If that’s what you want,” he called through the door and groaned. “If anyone is looking through the window right now, they will think I’m an idiot.” He laughed, a wry tone in his voice.
“Why?” I asked suspiciously.
“Because I’m leaning against the door with my ear pressed against it closely so I can hear what you’re saying clearly.”
“Oh, Zane.” I walked quickly to the door and opened it. He was standing there in his boxer shorts, just staring at me. His eyes were serious as he studied me in my big, fluffy towel and he half-smiled before turning away from me. He had a small package in his hands and he held it towards me with a sheepish smi
le. “I got you something.”
“What?” I looked up at him in shock and surprise. “Oh, Zane, you didn’t have to get my anything.”
“Open it.” His lopsided, eager smile stopped my protestations and I took the package from his hands.
“I can’t believe you got me a gift.” My voice was emotional. I was touched by his gesture as I unwrapped it carefully.
“You’re so much more patient than me.” He laughed. “I would have ripped that paper off so quickly.”
“We can reuse the paper if there are no rips.”
“Reuse?” He looked at me in amusement and I laughed.
“When you grow up poor, you learn how to be thrifty.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that.” I looked up into his eyes and I smiled gratefully at him, happy that he understood what money meant to me.
I peeled the wrapping paper off of a small box and opened it slowly. My heart was beating rapidly and I was excited to see what he had gotten me.
“Wait.” Zane held up a hand. “Don’t open it yet.”
“What? Why?” I frowned. “Please tell me there are no bugs in here.” I shuddered. “I hate bugs with a passion.”
“Lucky, I would never get you bugs.” He laughed. “Hold on a second.” He walked quickly to the night table and came back with his phone.
“Can I open it before or after you check your text messages?” I asked sarcastically.
“Don’t be silly.” He laughed. “I want to take a photo.”
“A photo?” I blushed and pulled my towel up. “You do not want to take a photo of me in my towel and wet hair.”
“No, silly. I want to take a photo of your expression when you open your first gift from me.”
“Oh?” I laughed. “That’s a bit sentimental.”
“I wanted a photo of you on my phone.” He grinned. “And don’t say a word.”
“I won’t.” I looked down, trying to hide my grin. His words had made me happier than I had ever thought possible. Oh, Lucky, I thought to myself. You’re so easy to please. I laughed and opened the box slowly.
“Look up, Lucky.” Zane’s voice was soft as I lifted the necklace out of the box. I stared into his eyes and I felt tears building up in mine as I glanced at it.
“Oh, Zane. It’s beautiful. I love it. I love it so much.” I smiled widely at him and blinked as the camera flashed. “I can’t believe you bought this for me.” The light flashed again and I laughed. “Enough, you’re going to blind me.”
“Do you really like it?” He looked at me with an uncertain expression. “I know it’s not diamonds or anything, but I thought you would like it.”
“I love it, Zane.” I stared at the necklace in my hand. The actual necklace was made of small, dark blue pieces and there were several turquoise stones that made up the band. “This is beautiful.”
“I remembered one day in the diner you had told me you loved the color blue.” He looked embarrassed. “I thought you would like this. Most women like necklaces, right?”
“I love it, Zane. Thank you so much. I held it carefully in my hand and reached over to kiss him on the cheek. I held his gaze and touched his cheek. “This really means a lot to me, Zane. More than you’ll ever know. Thank you.” I looked down at the necklace again and grinned. “Will you help me put it on? I want to wear it now.” I handed him the necklace and he tied it around my neck carefully. I twirled around once it was on and touched it with happiness, allowing the moment to carry me away.
“Are you okay, Zane?” I touched his shoulder and he glanced at me with emotion-filled eyes.
“You look beautiful, Lucky. Really beautiful.” He paused. “I just can’t quite believe you’re here.” He frowned. “Guys like me don’t get girls like you …”
“Girls like me?”
“The good ones, the special ones. I don’t even know if this moment is real. It doesn’t feel real. It doesn’t feel like my life. I’m so scared that someone is going to wake me from a dream and you won’t be here.”
“I feel the same way,” I whispered. “It just seems to all have happened so quickly.” I chewed on my lower lip and looked up at his handsome face from under my lashes. “I’m scared that something will go wrong.”
“So am I.” He cleared his throat and looked away. “I don’t know that I can be exactly what you need.”
“What do you mean?” My breath caught in my throat and I stared at him in fear. Was he breaking up with me already? Was the necklace a goodbye gift?
“I had a dream about my mother this morning.” He tried to keep his tone light, but I could tell he was masking a deeper emotion.
“What did you dream?” We walked back to the bedroom and sat on the bed, my hand enclosed in his.
“I just remembered the day she left.” His voice cracked slightly.
“I didn’t realize you remembered that.”
“I try not to think about it.” He forced a laugh and my heart filled with sympathy for him. “I was so young, I didn’t even realize what was happening.”
“You couldn’t have known.”
“She asked me to look after Noah. I was too busy sulking about not getting to go to McDonald’s.”
“You were just a kid, Zane.”
“Why didn’t she take us? Why didn’t she love us enough to make sure she could be the one to take care of us?”
“I don’t know how she could have left you.” My heart ached for him and the pain and rejection he was remembering and feeling. I wished that I could say something to make him understand and feel better. But frankly, I couldn’t comprehend his mother’s actions either.
“Noah never spoke about her. Well, he tried and I wouldn’t engage, and then he just stopped trying.” He looked at me searchingly. “I sometimes wondered if that was healthy. Maybe we should have really talked about it. Maybe we should have confronted our dad.”
“How did your dad react when your mom left and Noah died?” I asked curiously, wondering what sort of man Zane’s dad was.
“He had another woman, so he didn’t really care when my mom left. He said she was a whore and we were all better off without her.” Zane’s voice was bitter. “And when Noah died, he got free publicity for his new movie.”
“Oh.” My voice was hollow and I grieved for the man sitting next to me—the man who had never felt the unequivocal and whole-consuming love that I had gotten from my parents.
“Let’s talk about something else.” He shook his head and jumped up. “I’ll get in the shower while you change, and then we can get this party started.”
“What party?” I half-smiled at him, understanding why he wanted to change the subject. I hated it when people asked me about my parents and the conversation lagged on. I loved my memories of my mom and dad, but I didn’t want to think about their deaths constantly. And I had happy memories. I could only imagine the crushing heartache and unresolved pain that he felt.
“The party that will be our day today.” He grinned. “Even if we can’t have sex to get it started.”
“Zane,” I admonished him. “We are about more than sex.” I shook my head. Men were so predictable sometimes.
“We are?”
“Shut up and get in the shower.” I laughed and stood up to push him towards the door.
“Leave your hair curly today.” He smiled at me as he lifted a finger to my curls.
“It’ll get too frizzy.” I shook my head. “I don’t want to look like Frankenstein.”
“But you’ll be my Frankenstein.”
“I’d rather be no one’s Frankenstein.”
“Well, I think we can fix that. I think you’d be more like Worzel Gummidge than Frankenstein.” He burst out laughing and I frowned at him.
“Who’s Worzel Gummidge?”
“I’ll let you figure it out.” He laughed and walked to the bathroom. “And think about what you want to eat for breakfast or lunch.”
I hurried to grab my phone and brought up Google so I could typ
e in that name. I plugged in Worzel Gummidge and some hideous photos of an unkempt man popped up.
“Zane Beaumont, just wait until you get out of the shower!” I shouted, trying to stop myself from laughing. “That was not funny.” I looked once again at the photos of the dirty scarecrow and dropped my phone on the bed. “I’m definitely not staying curly now!” I shouted again and quickly put my clothes on. I was just applying some lip gloss when Zane exited the bathroom, all wet and dripping. I stared at his naked chest in awe and lust. I watched as a drop of water held on to a chest hair for dear life, and as he moved, it danced down his body and onto the floor. I looked back up at his chest and saw another drop about to make the same journey and I felt an overwhelming urge to rush up to him and lick it off. I groaned inwardly; I was starting to become as horny as Zane. I blamed it on the fact that I hadn’t had sex in ages before Zane and, of course because Zane was dynamite in bed. I giggled at the thought and Zane raised an eyebrow at me.
“Are you laughing at my body, Lucky?” He put a hand on his hip and cocked his head. “Do I not meet your approval?”
“Well, you know… you could do a couple of pushups.” My tone was serious as I looked him over. “And maybe some bicep curls.”
“Oh really?” His voice was light with humor and his blue eyes sparkled. “Is that all?”
“Your abs look a little flabby.” I pretended to look embarrassed for him. “So maybe some sit-ups as well.”
“I promise I’ll still love you if you get fat.” He grinned at me and I stuck my tongue out at him.
“Uh huh.”
“It could happen soon if you’re pregnant.”
“Oh,” I groaned. “My body.” I clutched my stomach and twirled around. “My modeling days will be over.”
“You can model for me any day of the week, baby.”
“Don’t you mean night?”
“Day or night. I’m always ready to be wowed by your beauty.”
“Liar! Way to try and butter me up, flabby chest.” I giggled and reached over to run my hands down his chest. “Now get ready so we can go eat. I’m hungry.”
