by J. S. Cooper
“I’m guessing that’s not for me?” He looked at me hopefully and I walked away from him, laughing.
“I’m going downstairs, Don Juan. Hurry.”
“I used to be the one who said that.” He grabbed his towel and started drying off his body, and I felt my face flush as I thought about all the things I could be doing to him right now.
“Don’t be long.” I ran out of the room and down the stairs. I walked to the kitchen slowly, stopping to look outside into the backyard. There were a lot of pretty flowers in bloom, and I stared as they swayed in the light wind. The pinks and the yellows against the deep green of the grass made me feel warm and cozy inside. I decided to make some coffee and come back and sit outside while I waited for Zane.
As I sat drinking my coffee, a sudden panic rose up in me. What if I was pregnant? Was I allowed to drink coffee? I knew I wasn’t supposed to drink alcohol, but I had no idea about coffee. I had no idea about anything that had to do with pregnancies and babies. I’d never really been around any pregnant women. A wave of sadness crashed down on my heart as I realized I couldn’t even ask my mom for help. I pictured my mother’s smiling face and I thought about what she would say if she knew the situation I was in and how irresponsible I had been. I groaned as the enormity of everything I had done came crashing down on me. I had basically quit my job and had withdrawn from school—all for a guy. A guy I barely knew. A guy who had more issues than I did. A guy I wasn’t sure would ever be able to fully give me his heart, no matter how much he wanted to. A man who may have gotten me pregnant. How was I going to go back to school with a baby? Would I now be a college dropout? I knew my mother would have admonished me. She and my father would have been upset at my choices. I should have asked Zane to let me finish college first. I should have held on to my rules a little longer.
A noise behind me distracted me from my thoughts and I looked behind me. I saw Zane walking through the living room and into the kitchen, and my heart lit up. It literally felt as if someone had lit a match and the warmth was heating up my entire body. I felt light and happy, and as I watched him, I knew that I wouldn’t have done anything differently if I had to do it all over again. This was my moment. He was my Zane and this was how it was meant to be. I just hoped that everything worked out the way that I wanted it to. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to cope if it all went wrong.
***
“Where do you want to go for breakfast?” Zane joined me outside in the garden and drank his coffee.
“I don’t know. Maybe we can grab something and go eat in the park?”
“Like a picnic?”
“I guess.”
“I suppose I should get some flowers and champagne as well?” He grinned at me.
“Well, I don’t know if I can drink.” I bit my lip and blushed as he realized what he had said.
“Shit! I didn’t even think about that.” His face turned serious. “I don’t really know much about babies.”
“Neither do I.” I put my mug down and picked some of the flowers next to me. “In fact, I know nothing.”
“What a fine pair we make.” Zane chuckled and I looked up to see his eyes were shining with mirth. “We’ll have to take some classes. And read some books. Yes, let’s go to the bookstore and get some books.”
“Before or after we shop for new sheets and groceries?”
“I guess we can go and get the books tomorrow.”
“Let’s wait to see if I’m pregnant first.” I heard the words coming out of my mouth, but they seemed so surreal. Everything seemed surreal. I pressed my hand to my forehead and closed my eyes.
“What’s wrong?” Zane rushed towards me with concern in his voice. “Are you okay?”
I opened my eyes and saw him staring at me with worry. I smiled at him shyly, not sure how to feel about him being so protective. On the one hand, it made me feel like he really cared, but then it also made me feel like he thought I was weak. And I never wanted to be that weak girl. Not again. I’d matured past that.
“Do you need to go lie down?” He reached over to pick me up, and I pushed him away.
“No, I want to go and eat. Preferably pancakes.”
“Pancakes on a picnic?” Zane gave me his special ‘I like you, but you’re kind of kooky’ look, and I had a vision of him at the diner a few months ago, sitting at his special booth, waiting for his date to decide between a garden salad and a veggie burger. I had stood there waiting patiently, trying not to tap my foot and sigh, and he had given me a special look while his date had taken her sweet time thinking about what to order. I can still remember the special feeling that had caressed me and I laughed now as I had then: uncontrollably and hysterically. I was laughing so hard that I had to bend over to catch my breath. “You okay, Lucky?”
“Yes,” I gasped. “Just don’t make that look again.” I hiccupped and Zane wiggled his eyebrows at me. “Or do that,” I glared at him and he contorted his face.
“Would you rather me look like a scary monster?”
“You’re still a handsome scary monster.”
“She thinks I’m handsome, she thinks I’m handsome.” He jumped up and ran around the garden, pumping his fist in the air, and I laughed again. This time I was able to control it and I watched him running around like a man with no worries or concerns. For that brief moment, everything was all right and was going to be fine. There was nothing that was weighing our minds down.
“Zane, are you done yet? I’m hungry.” I jumped up and looked at the flowers still in my hand. “And what flowers are these? I love them.”
He walked over to me, still smiling, and looked down at the stems in my hand. He picked up the flower with the huge white petals and a green center and smiled. “This is my favorite; it’s a Pom Daisy.”
“A Pom Daisy? Like a pom-pom?” I questioned, secretly happy that his favorite flower was my favorite of all the flowers in his garden as well.
“Well, you can’t do a cheer with it, but yes,” he laughed.
“I bet you dated all the cheerleaders in high school, didn’t you?” A flash of jealousy hit me as I asked the question and I surveyed his face intently. I wanted to ask him what sort of girls he usually dated, but I knew that would be opening Pandora’s Box and I didn’t really want to go there.
“Not all.” He stared back at me. “Just some.”
“Oh, sounds like me, I only dated some of the football players,” I retorted instinctively. I groaned inside at my words. How immature was I?
“I’m sure they all wanted to date you,” he said lightly, his eyes piercing into mine. “Now, this flower here,” he continued and picked up another flower from my hand. “This flower is an Amaryllis. It’s a native plant of South America. Do you see how the petals are red on the outside and white on the inside? Well, I always call these petals blood-soaked.”
“Blood-soaked?” My voice rose. “Well, that’s morbid.”
“I know.” He grinned and handed the two flowers back to me. “I wish I had some roses to give you, then I could recite Shakespeare or make up my own ditty: Lucky, let me count the ways that …”
“You want to eat me,” I interrupted laughing.
“Well, among other things.”
“Zane!” I grabbed his hand and pulled him inside with me. “Let’s go out. And no more sexual innuendos for the rest of the day.”
“That I can’t promise.”
***
I licked the last drops of syrup from the corners of my mouth and grinned at Zane. “I can’t believe I’ve never noticed the way you eat before.” I watched as he put his cutlery down on the plate. “You’re so prim and proper, Miss Emily would be so proud.”
“Who’s Miss Emily?” He looked at me in confusion.
“The etiquette queen, duh.”
“Oh you mean Emily Post?”
“Yes!”
“I’ve never heard her called Miss Emily before. It must be a southern thing.”
“I’m not southe
rn,” I growled.
“You’re from the South.”
“I’m from Florida.”
“Florida’s in the south.” He grinned. “Or do you need a geography lesson?”
“I know it’s in the south, but it’s not the South like South Carolina and Arkansas. Now they are the South.”
“What about Alabama and Mississippi?”
“Well, they are as well.” I rolled my eyes at him as if to say, duh.
“So all the states in the south are the South aside from Florida?”
“That’s not what I mean.”
“So are you telling me I’m not dating a Southern Belle?”
“I’m telling you that if you’re looking for Scarlett O’Hara, you’re dating the wrong girl.”
“Did your grandparents live on a plantation? Did they have slaves? Did your mother have a mammy?” Zane cocked his head at me and I reached over and slapped his hand.
“You’re an idiot, you know that?”
“Tell me, Lucky, what do you think of the Civil War? Do you wish the South had won?”
“Zane Beaumont,” I growled. “I do declare that you’re trying to upset my righteous mind, but I will not let you do that to me this fine morning.” I spoke in my best Southern accent and we both laughed.
“It’s fascinating though.” Zane looked up at me seriously. “Our country has such a rich and deep history. Our grandparents lived such different lives, had such different views. I sometimes wonder what life would be like if certain things didn’t change.”
“I sometimes wonder what it would have been like to have lived in the 1940s.” I paused and looked up to make sure I wasn’t boring him. “And in the Middle Ages.”
“The Middle Ages?”
“Yes, I’ve always wanted to witness what society was like during that time. There was an expansion of population of about 35 million to 80 million people in Europe between 1000 and 1347. Can you believe that? That’s incredible! And then there were the religious crusades and the system of feudalism was introduced. It’s all so fascinating.”
“Wow, you really do love history.”
“I do. My heart is with modern history, as you know, and the Civil Rights Movement, but I’m a bit of a European history buff as well. I’ve often thought about doing my dissertation on the parallels between the Middle Ages and the Civil Rights Movement.”
“There are parallels?” Zane looked surprised and I laughed.
“Well, I’d have to research. That’s the point.” I laughed and then looked down as I remembered that I may never get to do that research. I’m not sure how I would be able to do it if I were pregnant and had a baby. How would I be able to go to grad school then?
“What’s wrong?” Zane frowned as he saw my expression change.
“Nothing.” I smiled brightly, not wanting to share my thoughts with him. “Are you done? We still have to go shopping.” I changed the subject quickly.
“Did you know that when I was in school, we learned about William the Conqueror and Harold of Hastings, and Noah and I would always play a game called The Battle of Hastings comes to Los Angeles?” Zane smiled at the memory. “And we used Star Wars light sabers that my dad got us. And we would run around, zapping each other.” He laughed. “I just remembered that, that was a fun game.”
“I’m impressed that you remember what happened in 1066.” I smiled at him gently and leaned forward. “You’re more of a history buff than I thought.”
“I should note that William had R2D2 on his side and Harold had C-3PO and we weren’t fighting for England, but for the moon,” Zane laughed.
“Well, as long as it was for the moon.” I reached over and grabbed his hand. “I wish I would have gotten to meet Noah.” I spoke gently, not wanting to upset him.
“So do I.” He laid some money on the table and stood up. “Now, let’s go shopping.”
***
“I can’t believe you wanted to come to Ikea.” Zane looked lost in the sea of people. “I can’t say that I’ve ever been here before, but I’ve never heard it was the place to get bedding.”
“I don’t know that it’s the place to get bedding, but it is the place to get affordable bedding.” I made a face at him.
“I don’t want to push the fact that I have money in your face. But I don’t need to go to the Costco of bed sheets.”
“This isn’t the Costco of bed sheets, you snob.” I shook my head. “In fact, I don’t even know what that means. How can this be the Costco of bed sheets? Do you think we’re going to get a big pack of 10 sheets and duvets?” I laughed. “To go with our 100 pack of toilet paper.”
“You can get a 100 pack of toilet paper rolls?” Zane looked like a light bulb had gone off in his head. “You mean I could buy a lifetime’s supply of toilet paper on one trip?”
“Zane! Focus, we’re here to buy sheets and a duvet cover.”
“I’d still like to know why we’re in an Ikea, and not some swanky store in Beverly Hills.”
“I can’t afford to buy sheets in Beverly Hills.” I sighed. “I wanted this to be my treat to you because you’re changing them for me.”
“Lucky, no.” Zane looked at me in shock. “You can’t afford that.”
“I want to,” I said obstinately. It was true that I didn’t really have the money to buy him sheets, but I also needed to feel that I wasn’t just getting a free ride. “Besides, I’ll be getting a paycheck soon, right?”
“I don’t really want you spending your hard-earned money on me.” He frowned. “But if you insist. And if you will actually accept and cash my paycheck.”
“I …” my voice trailed off. He was right. I did feel funny about cashing the checks. It just didn’t seem right to take money from my boyfriend, no matter if I was working for him or not. It was okay when we were just friends, but to be sleeping with him and taking money made it all seem a bit sleazy.
“Lucky, you have to take the money.” Zane folded his arms across the chest. “You still have to send Leeza your rent money every month.”
“I know, I know.” I crinkled my nose and grabbed his arm. “Let’s go look at sheets, we can talk about this later.” We finally moved away from the couches and I saw a little girl staring at us curiously. She was bouncing up and down on a beanbag chair while her parents measured the dimensions of one of white couches to the right of them. I was surprised that they were considering a white couch with a kid; frankly I wouldn’t get a white couch if it were just me, not with how messy I was. I smiled at the little girl as we walked and she stuck her tongue out at me and turned her face away. I giggled to myself at her precociousness and I saw Zane giving me a side-long glance. I was sure he was likely wondering if I was crazy or not, but I just smiled and continued walking. Let him think what he wants. The crazy part might be right; I wouldn’t doubt it if someone said that I was.
“No pink sheets, Lucky.” Zane squeezed my hand. “Please no pink sheets.”
“I’m not a little princess, you know.”
“You’re my princess.” He purred and I punched his arm. He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me towards him, and I squealed as I pushed him backwards. He held onto me as he fell back and we both landed on the queen-sized display bed that was behind him. “Lucky, I know you want me, but we’re in public.” He grinned at me as we lay on our backs.
“You wish.” I shook my head and tried to sit up. He pulled me back down towards him and kissed me hard and I melted against him, enjoying the warm sweetness of his lips on mine.
He smiled as he pulled away from me and licked my lips. “You taste like honey.”
“It’s maple syrup.”
“Well, it’s good.” He leaned towards me again and ran his tongue over my bottom lip slowly. I stared into his eyes, and we laid there for a moment, just gazing at each other.
“Excuse me, excuse me! You guys can’t be on the bed doing that.” I looked up, embarrassed, and saw an elderly lady staring at us with a shocked expression. “You
two need to get up off the bed. This is a reputable business, not a brothel.” She glared at us and I jumped up off of the bed quickly. Zane stood up slowly and smiled at the lady.
“Sorry, ma’am, my whore and I got a little carried away.”
“Zane!” I gasped and noticed the lady’s face turn red. She turned away from us mumbling something about how rude this generation was.
I turned on him and hissed, “Zane, how could you say that?” My face was still flushing a deep red and I wanted to sink into the ground.
“You know you’re not my whore, but what did that busybody expect after saying we thought this was a brothel?” He grinned and grabbed my hand. “Now let’s get these sheets and get out of here. I don’t think I’m made for Ikea.”
“You don’t even know Ikea.” I shook my head. “I didn’t know you were an elitist about where your sheets came from.”
“I’m not. I just want to be somewhere a little less crowded with you.” He ran his hand down to my ass and I swatted it away.
“Zane,” I protested quickly. “Let’s not get kicked out.”
“I don’t mind if we do.” He looked sheepish.
“You’re bored, aren’t you?” I laughed. “Let me choose something and we can leave.” I spotted a green duvet cover with circles on it and rushed over. “Oh, look at this. I love it. Don’t you love it?” I grabbed the package and stared at it before eagerly showing it to Zane.
“Not really,” he grimaced.
“What do you like?” I put the package down and walked over to a plain sky-blue cover. “Something like this?”
“No.” He shook his head and walked over to a black striped set.
“No way.” My voice rose, and this time it was me shaking my head. “There is no way I’m sleeping in a death bed.”
“A death bed?” He looked amused.
“The color black in a home is not for me,” I said. “It’s too gloomy. I prefer bright colors. Don’t get me wrong, though, I’ll wear black clothes.” I laughed loudly. “I do like the slimming look.”
“You don’t need any help looking slim.” He purred and I hit him in the arm.
