Forever We Fall

by Chloe Walsh

  The memories of how I’d treated Lee plagued me and I didn’t think I would ever be able to do enough to make it up to the girl who had stuck by me, and when I’d fallen into the darkness she had waded in and pulled me back to her.

  I’d always kept a mental list of the people who mattered in my life. Because of the way I’d grown up very few made that list, but once they did, they stayed there and I coveted that list. I fucking worshipped that list. But my list was shrinking at an alarming rate. My mother was dead. My grandfather, too. My baby died. My best friend, and now Linda . . . Too many people I loved had died and I refused to mentally scratch another name off that list. I had enough of loss. I wasn’t losing again.

  I wasn’t losing her.

  Every move I made, every single action I took from this day forth would be for Lee and my daughter. I guess Derek was right in what he said. He once told me that love was a crazy evil bitch—that I’d take a bullet, take the pain, tear the skin from my body and give it to her. He was right. He was so fucking right . . .

  “Good lord, it’s freezing out there today,” I heard Lee say, breaking me out of my trance, and my body shivered in relief.

  Twisting around on the couch, I came face to face with my own personal angel, wrapped up in a green khaki coat, wild brown curls splaying down her front, and a pair of gray eyes that could sink even the coldest of men.

  “What were you doing outside?” I asked her as I took in the muddy patches on her jeans and her wind burned cheeks.

  “I was just saving what’s left of our forestry from your best friend,” Lee puffed, walking to where I was slumped. “You know I would love to know who gave him that chainsaw,” she chuckled as she lowered herself onto my lap. Wrapping her arms around me, she buried her nose in my neck and sighed. “You okay?”

  “Not really,” I told her honestly, pulling her closer to my body to warm her up. “But I will be.”

  “Where’s Hope?” she asked softly.

  “In the kitchen with your mom,” I murmured, savoring the feel of her in my arms. “I’d guess they’re baking a cake by the smell of it.”

  “You okay with her being here, Kyle?” Lifting her face from my neck, she locked her eyes on mine. “She wants to help us,” she whispered with a smile. “And I kind of want to let her.”

  “Yeah,” I sighed, pressing my forehead to hers. “I kind of want her to as well, baby.”

  “Mike called earlier,” she told me. “He wanted to let you know that he re-opened the hotel this morning.”

  I stiffened and Lee cupped my cheek with her cold hand. “Relax, Kyle,” she whispered. “Let someone else do the worrying for a change.”

  “It’s hard to relax,” I admitted in a gruff tone. “It’s hard to not think.”

  “It will get easier to cope with,” she replied. “I promise.”

  The early morning watery sun was shining through the lounge window, signaling to me another day of bullshit, and all I wanted to do was go back to bed, cover my head with my pillow, and forget the whole damn world.

  It had been two months since Perry Franklin went on national television, marring Lee’s name, and every day that passed since that disastrous night had been hell on earth for us. Aside from the attempts of numerous reporters who’d tried to get us to talk, the stress of Camryn’s murder trial was weighing heavily on all of our shoulders. Jimmy Bennett was in prison. My father, David, was still trying to build his little plastic bridge of bullshit, I had very nearly ruined my relationship with Lee, and Linda . . . Linda was gone.

  Eight weeks of pure hell and now the pressure was about to go up a notch. Today was day four of Rachel’s trial and first thing tomorrow morning my woman would be taking the stand.

  I had already been called, so had Derek and Mike, and as much as I hated the thought of Lee taking the stand, a tiny part of me was thrumming in anticipation.

  Lee’s evidence was going to be the nail in Rachel’s coffin. She was taking Rachel-the bitch troll-Grayson down. It was motherfucking on. Derek had been right when he’d told me Lee was going to get us some long overdue justice . . .

  “I’ve been thinking, Kyle,” Derek mused, as he slapped a mug of coffee down on the coffee table in front of me, before taking a seat beside me . . .

  “What have you been thinking, Derek?” I asked wryly before taking a sip of my coffee.

  “When all this shit with Rachel is over, I think you should take Lee away for a break.” Sighing deeply, Derek patted my knee. “God knows you both need a break–I’ll mind the kid.”

  My brow rose in surprise as a jolt of excitement spread through me at the thought of getting Lee to myself for a few days. “You would do that for us?” I asked. “You wouldn’t mind?”

  Derek raked a hand over his–freshly shaved–head and smirked. “Well, yeah,” he chuckled. “No need to look so surprised, dude. I know how to change a diaper and make a feed. I’m pretty sure I can keep her alive for a day or two.” Smirking, he blew into his cup and added. “Consider it your birthday gift.” I stared at him, my expression blank, and Derek sighed. “Dude, you’re twenty-four today.”

  “I forgot,” I murmured as I scratched my head confusion. Jesus, time was going by so fast I barely had a chance to catch my fucking breath . . .

  “Well, mine’s July twenty-fourth,” Derek chuckled. “I’ll mark it on the calendar.”

  “Happy birthday, Kyle,” Lee called out as she bounced into the lounge with Hope in her arms. “Here,” she mumbled as she stepped towards me and thrust an envelope into my hand. “It’s not much.” Her cheeks reddened. “I’ll make it up to you.”

  “Thanks baby,” I chuckled, taking the birthday card from her hand.

  Hoisting Hope onto her hip, she smiled and said, “I’ll make you a birthday breakfast,” before rushing out of the room.

  “Shit,” Derek muttered, shifting around uncomfortably for a moment before pulling a stuffed animal out from under his ass. “She’s gonna poison us.”

  “And we’re going to eat every bite,” I warned him. “If it kills us, we will eat whatever she puts on our plates.”

  “True love,” Derek mused. “Eating potentially fatal meals and pretending to enjoy it.” He twisted the arms of the teddy bear around in his hands, his eyes on the bear but unfocused. “What time is Tracy coming?”

  I checked the time on my phone. “She should be here soon and I want you to be nice to her.”

  Since Linda’s funeral Tracy had visited our home every day and Lee was slowly bonding with her mother. It was obvious Lee was afraid of being hurt again and Tracy was afraid of pushing too hard and breaking the fragile relationship they were attempting to build, but they were both trying and slowly forming their own little mother/daughter relationship and I, for one, was proud as hell of Lee for handling the whole ordeal with such grace.

  Derek, however, was another story. He was cold to the point of being rude to the woman. Derek had a stable family life growing up, and I guessed that was the reason he was so unforgiving when it came to Tracy. He didn’t understand because he’d never walked a mile in the shoes of a stray. He couldn’t empathize because he couldn’t relate. Sighing deeply I added, “She’s trying, Derek. We all make mistakes dude. No one’s perfect.”

  “I don’t trust her, Kyle,” he said simply. “She’s hiding something.”

  “Hiding what, dude?” I asked, exasperated. We’d been having this same fucking conversation with weeks.

  “I don’t know,” he growled. “But something is off about her. I can feel it in my bones.”

  “Well, Lee likes having her around,” I warned. “And Hope loves her, so don’t even think about planting seeds of doubt in Lee’s head.”

  “I have no intention of it,” he retorted smoothly. “I’ll figure this one out by myself.”

  “Whatever, dude,” I muttered, bored with this stalemate of a conversation.

  “Kyle?” I heard Tracy call out from the h
allway, the front door slamming seconds later.

  Derek glowered at me. “You’re a little overly trusting with the gate code, aren’t you?”

  I rolled my eyes at him and was about to reply to his snippy comment when Tracy called out, “Do you happen to own a pet?”

  I frowned. “No. Why?”

  “There was a dog sitting on the doorstep when I got home yesterday,” she replied. “And I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve brought her with me. I was afraid she would get cold.”

  “Oh my god, Oh my god,” I heard Lee squeal excitedly. “Look, Hope. A puppy.”

  Derek’s eyes bulged and he leapt out of his chair. “Holy shit,” he exclaimed. “He’s back.”

  “Great,” I muttered through clenched teeth as I stalked down the hallway to the kitchen, and, low and behold, there he was. The scruffy little fucker himself, with his bottom teeth jutting out, dressed in a . . .”Is he wearing a coat?” I shook my head and wandered into the kitchen to take a closer inspection of the dog’s makeover. “You bought him a pink coat, Tracy?”

  “Yes,” Tracy giggled as she snuggled the dog against her chest. “She’s so cute, aren’t you, Poppy?”

  “What the hell is that?” Derek demanded.

  Stalking over to where the girls were fretting, he took the dog out of her arms. “His name is Kevin, and he’s a dude,” he sneered. “You’re gonna fuck with his head putting ribbons and bows on him . . .” He paused and sniffed Kevin’s coat. “Did you spray him with perfume?”

  “I gave her a bath,” she replied hotly. I rose my brow in surprise. Tracy had claws. “My bath products are female orientated,” she added defensively. “And then I gave her a haircut.”

  “He is not a she,” Derek argued. Twisting the dog around in arms, he glared at Tracy. “Haven’t you ever seen a pair of b . . .”

  “Tone it down,” I warned him. “My daughter’s in the room.”

  “Can we keep him, Kyle?” Lee begged, jumping up and down in front of me like a curly-haired jack-in-the-box, looking more excited than I’d seen her in weeks. “Please?”

  “No way, Lee.” I shook my head. I was not having another damn dog. I knew full well that I’d be the one who would end up walking him, not to mention getting up in the middle of the night to let him out for a piss. “No goddamn way.”

  Lifting Hope out of her highchair, Lee stalked towards me and I backed away quickly. “No, no, no,” I warned. “Don’t even think about double-teaming me.”

  “Look into her eyes, Kyle,” she pressed. “Tell your baby she can’t have the puppy.”

  “It won’t work,” I groaned, covering my eyes with my hand. “Keep those eyes away from me.”

  “Da-da-da,” Hope babbled. “Dog-y.”

  “Goddammit,” I groaned, my heart squeezing in my heart.

  “Please, Kyle?” Lee begged and I swear she had a trick for making her eyes grow as wide as saucers. “Please, I promise I’ll do everything for him. You won’t have to lift a finger, I swear.”

  “Lee, we can’t keep him,” I argued half-heartedly, already knowing I was screwed.

  “Kyle,” Lee moaned. “Please. I’ll do anything.”

  Cooing at Kevin, who was now pottering around my goddamn kitchen like a boss, Lee sat Hope down on the floor before straightening her back. With her hands on her hips she locked eyes with me. “You’re a business man,” she said in a serious tone of voice. “Let’s negotiate this like adults.”

  “I’ll hear you out,” I told her, trying to hold in a laugh.

  “I want the dog, Kyle,” Lee told me. Stepping towards me, she placed her left hand on my chest and smiled up at me. “Name your terms and conditions.”

  “No Poppy,” Tracy exclaimed, distracting me from my stare down with Lee. I watched in dismay as Kevin cocked his leg and started pissing on the leg of my table. “Bad girl.”

  “I’ll get it,” Lee muttered sheepishly as she bent down, scooped up the dog and rushed through the hallway. “Don’t hold this against him, Kyle,” Lee chuckled as she opened the front door and stepped outside.

  “How badly do you want this dog, princess?” I chuckled as I followed her out on the front porch. “Enough to marry me?”

  “What?” Lee’s eyes widened and I made a mental note to buy Kevin a very juicy bone.

  “You want the dog.” Shrugging my shoulders, I tilted my head to one side and smirked at her innocent face. “I want a wife.”

  “What are you saying, Kyle?” I whispered, not daring to speak any louder for fear of my voice cracking. When I woke up this morning, I’d been plagued with worry about the trial. That worry was quickly being replaced with elation. “I already said yes to you when you proposed.”

  “I’m saying tomorrow,” Kyle husked as he dropped down on one knee, in his boxer shorts, on our front porch. “After your testimony,” Kyle said softly, his blue eyes locked on mine. “Whatever the result, whatever the outcome,” he husked. “You and me, we get married.”

  “We can’t,” I squealed as I tried to pull him up off freezing cold ground. “We need a valid marriage license. We don’t have a church or a priest or a . . .” My voice trailed off as excitement bubbled in my chest. Why was I saying no? I had already said yes. Why the hell was I living in the past when my future looked like him? What was stopping us?

  “Fuck all that,” Kyle grumbled as he shook his head and frowned. “We have a license, princess.” Yeah, from when Kyle had tried to drag me off to Vegas, but I wasn’t sure that would work . . .”I’ll figure all of it out later,” he added.

  Looking up at me, he tilted his head to one side and smiled. “Come on, princess.” He grinned devilishly, his dimple puckering in his cheek. “You want the dog,” he chuckled. “This is my condition.”

  “And if I say no,” I teased.

  Kyle shrugged nonchalantly. “Then you keep the damn dog and I keep asking until I break you down.”

  “Do it, Lia,” Tracy cried out from somewhere behind me.

  “Yeah,” Derek piped up in agreement. “I’m getting bored of this will they, won’t they? Put the poor bastard out of his misery.”

  “You’re sure you want this?” I asked him quietly—the fear I had that Kyle was acting out of grief causing my question. “It’s so soon since Linda . . .”

  “Lee,” Kyle said firmly. “I have never been more sure of anything in my life, baby. I’ve been asking for years,” he chuckled. “I’m asking you out of love, not grief.”

  I looked down at Kyle, kneeling on the porch, smiling up at me with such love and honesty in his eyes, and I found myself agreeing to his . . . coaxing. “Okay,” I whispered. “Let’s do it.”

  Kyle’s mouth dropped open and he gaped at me, eyes wide and blinking rapidly. “Holy shit,” he whispered as he climbed to his feet and hopped from foot to foot as he cupped his . . . his nether regions. “You’re saying yes.”

  “Yeah,” I giggled as I pushed the front door inwards and gestured him inside. “Though I may refuse if you don’t come in home and put some clothes on—can’t have you freezing off your most valuable asset.”

  “Ha-ha,” Kyle snorted as he shooed Kevin inside before dragging me along after him.

  “You’re not teasing me, are you, princess?” Kyle asked me in a serious tone as he cupped my face between his hands. “You’ll marry me tomorrow?”

  “I will,” I whispered as I stretched up and kissed his lips. “I will marry you tomorrow, Kyle Carter.”

  “Aw . . .” Derek chimed from the kitchen doorway. “About damn time,” he added as he bounced around with Hope in his arms.

  “See, Hopey bear,” Derek crooned. “Mommy and daddy aren’t always drama-junkies.” He looked over at me and grinned. “Although, I had hoped you’d make him sweat it out for at least ten more minutes . . .”

  “Yeah, that’s enough, douchebag,” Kyle chuckled as he wrapped his arms around me from behind. “Let’s not give her any ideas.”


  “I won’t change my mind,” I said softly. “I’m marrying you tomorrow . . .”

  “Oh fuck, I need to make a call,” Kyle hissed as he jerked away from me and leapt into his usual run-around-like-a-mad-man role. “Put that dog in the back yard,” he called out as he rushed off towards the office, with his phone welded to his ear. “Yeah, hey. I’m gonna need a favor . . .” was the last thing I heard Kyle say before his office door slammed loudly.

  “Congratulations, sweetheart,” Tracy cried, throwing her arms around me. “I’m so happy for you.”

  “Thanks.” I beamed at her, feeling a deep swell of affection for the woman who’d come to my rescues these past few weeks.

  The best part of all this misery and pain had been spending more time with Tracy. I honestly didn’t know what I would have done without her during the days after Linda’s passing. I’d had to keep it together for Kyle and Tracy in return had been my rock. I’d leaned on her and she had held me up, silently supporting me, pouring strength into my veins. I hoped with time we would grow closer. I wanted to have what other girls my age had. I wanted my mom in my life . . .”Thank you so much for everything you’ve done for me since the funeral.”

  “Nonsense. I’m more than happy to help,” Tracy mumbled, red-faced, before rushing down the hallway after Kevin.

  “You happy, ice?” Derek asked in a soft tone as he smiled fondly at me.

  “Yes, Derek,” I said as I bit down on my lip and squealed. “Kyle Carter’s going to marry me.”

  Derek chuckled and shook his head in amusement. “I called it the second he laid eyes on you, ice-queen.”

  The night air was cool in the woods at the bottom of our garden and I wasn’t sure if Lee was shivering because of the fact that we were getting married tomorrow, or because of the trial. “You’re sure this is what you want, Kyle?” Lee asked quietly, dropping her gaze to the ground as we maneuvered through the trees. “I don’t want you to marry me because you’re worried about your mortality . . . or mine.”

  Sighing heavily, Lee stuffed her hands into her coat pockets and sagged against the bark of a tree. “I just want to make sure you’re in the right frame of mind before you do this.”