Tales from the Magitech Lounge

by Saje Williams

  Truth be told, I did end up moving in with Hades. And I discovered that we had it within us to become friends. Isn’t that just too weird? I remember the Hades that was and I still hate that person with every fiber of my being. But the Hades that is now? I like him. He’s a bit like a father and a big brother all rolled into one.

  It’s almost like being a real kid with a real family.

  Almost.

  Act II

  The Past

  Episode I: Out of Time

  Jack

  My name is Jack, but you already knew that. I put together this little tome so I could share my odd little family with you all and I hope you’ve enjoyed the introductions.

  Things have now come full circle and I sit here feeling a mixture of grief and elation because I’m still here to tell the final tale of this collective memoir. Some of us were not so fortunate.

  The fateful evening when it all began started pretty much like any other. The daytime crowd had drifted away as my night regulars began arriving at the Lounge. First in the door were Rio and Stormchild, which should have been a warning in the first place. It was a Saturday night and they never came in on the weekends.

  A few minutes later Hades and his goblin pal, Vex, came through the back door. I usually keep it locked, but such things are hardly an impediment to a mage with Hades’s talents. The ebon immortal lifted the goblin onto a stool and ordered a burger basket for him.

  Vex grinned across the bar at me, far happier than he’d been the first time I’d seen him. He’d been terrified out of his wits. Not that I can blame him for that. First he’d witnessed a dragon eating a guy in the park, then been pursued by the creature, then had been rescued by the very being responsible for turning him into what he was.

  It had been a rough night for the poor little fellow and I was glad to see him in a much better frame of mind.

  By eleven, the place was jumping. I think every regular we’d ever had decided that night was a good one on which to make an appearance. If I believed in such things, I would say it was fated, but of course I think that it’s a cop-out to say so. The universe isn’t that orderly. Not this one, anyway, and I have serious doubts about the rest of them as well.

  I noticed with a bit of surprise that the goblin-mage, Kate, had shown up out of the blue and was currently deep in conversation with Vex. Looking around, I realized that a lot of our patrons were starting to pair up, and that left me feeling a little sorry for myself.

  Then again, I wasn’t the only member of the staff who didn’t have a significant other. Neither Kevin nor Boneyard had managed to pair up with anyone, though most of the regulars now had someone special. I felt a bit bad for Kevin, actually, since I knew he carried a torch for Steph, who’d been making time with Hades.

  It didn’t seem to bother Kevin much though. In his shoes I’d have probably been at least a little cold to Hades, if not to Steph herself, but he’d forged something of a friendship with the former villain. They were still working together teaching Anya, my adopted daughter, the art of magic.

  It also didn’t hurt that both of them had a background in medicine. I guess it means they had a lot in common besides having a thing for Steph.

  About midnight I glanced up toward the door and, to my surprise, saw a couple of dragons come in. Namely, my old friend Bigby and his new saurian squeeze, the brutally gorgeous Kaleel. I was assuming at that point he’d managed to discourage her from eating any more humans. At least, I hoped he had. They were wearing their human shapes, of course, which was much better for my décor. Compared to a full-sized dragon inside a nightclub, a bull in a china shop is the very model of discretion and grace.

  We were filled to capacity. A hundred and ninety Magitech Lounge “freaks”, my de-facto family, stood, sat, danced and sang their way through the witching hour facilitated by vast amounts of social lubricant. My gaze passed over a couple in my typical corner booth pushing the limits of good taste and propriety and kept going. I didn’t even take the time to register who they were. I didn’t want to know. And unless someone else complained, I’d leave them to their business.

  I stopped for a moment to exchange a few words with Stormchild and Rio, then moved along to greet Bigby and Kaleel. Her response was understandably cool. I don’t think she’s ever really forgiven me for punching her in the face and kicking her in the head the first time we met.

  Not that I blame her, really. Though I still think I was justified in doing it, since it stopped her from transforming and wiping out the Lounge entirely just to silence one small goblin, but I can understand why she’d be pissed off about it.

  Taken down by a mere mortal and not even a superhuman at that. Must be humiliating.

  Oh, I know, I’m just boiling over with sympathy right now. Damn dragon tried to transform inside my place. She’s lucky I didn’t shoot her with the hand-cannon I keep behind the bar.

  Someone started up a round of karaoke and I paused for a few minutes to listen to Steph do a truly astounding rendition of some late twentieth century rock song I should have recognized but didn’t. Running a bar that has karaoke could have made me an expert on over two and a half centuries of music, but I just never managed to muster up that much give-a-shit.

  I was crossing the dance floor, threading myself between the dancers, when I felt something like a huge, invisible fist close around me. I was frozen there on the dance floor, fighting against something I couldn’t see while everyone moved around me.

  ::Jack. We need your help:: The immense, god-like voice bounced around inside my brain for a second before I realized what it was.

  What? Who are you?

  Don’t get me wrong. I was as stunned as the next guy. Despite my odd clientele and circle of friends, having people speak directly into my head isn’t all that common an experience for me. My communication implant sometimes conjures up similar impressions, but I’m forewarned when people contact me that way. There was no forewarning here—just a sudden paralysis and that amazing, god-like voice booming into my skull.

  Despite the shock and awe involved, my initial response was stubborn indignation. I really didn’t like the idea of anyone being inside my head.

  ::Be at ease, Jack. We mean you no harm.::

  Now there’s a subjective phrase, I shot back mentally. Depends on how you define harm, doesn’t it? Who the fuck are you?

  ::I am the Radiance:: the voice replied. ::One of our number has gone rogue and we require your assistance. Not only your assistance, but that of your friends and patrons as well.::

  The Radiance? That was one of Earth’s premiere defense vessels, the latest of the very formidable mageships to come off the assembly line.

  I was being asked for help by the living mind of a starship that itself was nearly god-like in its power? I was far past indignation now and had traveled straight to scared-out-of-my-wits. How can I help? I asked, certain that my fright had been conveyed by my mental voice. Why don’t you contact Fleet or the Adjuster’s Office?

  ::There are those who are already suspicious of us and would like any excuse to shut us down. We cannot afford to contact the authorities, which is why we came to you::

  And what can I do? I’m just an ordinary mortal.

  ::Hardly ordinary. If nothing else, you have influence with your clientele, which is among the most diverse group of extraordinary people ever assembled on Earth::

  I might have taken this for a compliment if not for the stakes involved. How was I supposed to convince anyone I’d even had this conversation?

  “Jack!”

  Why were my eyes closed? I opened them, staring up into the face of a very distressed-looking mage, Kevin. Beside him were Hades and Anya. None of them looked anything less than worried and I could actually see tear tracks running down Anya’s cheeks. “Why am I lying on the floor?” I asked of no one in particular.

  Kevin’s frown grew deeper. “Do you know your name?”

  “What?” How ridiculous a question was that? “I
t’s Jack.”

  “And what’s the date?”

  “Huh? It’s November 22nd.”

  “And what year is it?”

  “Eighteen-twelve?” I said, smothering a smile.

  He wasn’t amused. “Seriously, Jack. I’m trying to figure out if you just had a stroke.”

  “A stroke? Are you kidding? I feel fine.” I levered myself up to a sitting position and glanced around the room. The music had stopped and the patrons were standing on the other side of the dance floor in a long half-circle.

  “You should stay lying down until I can finish examining you, Jack.”

  “Screw that,” I said and placed one hand on the floor in preparation to stand up. The world spun a little, but I managed to push myself to my feet. “We’ve got a problem,” I told them. “That wasn’t a stroke or any other kind of a fit. I was just contacted by the mageship Radiance and it asked for our help.”

  The three mages exchanged glances and I didn’t have to be a mind-reader to realize what they were thinking. “I’m serious,” I said, a bit irritated by their obvious skepticism. “This wasn’t a fit. Shit, Kevin, check it out. Do a magical scan or whatever it is you people do. I’m as fit as ever.”

  Kevin had been a physician-mage in another life and he still had the skills, if not the required licenses to practice medicine. The Powers-That-Be took a dim view of people doing what he had done, no matter the justification. I couldn’t say I wouldn’t have done the same thing, given the provocation.

  Kevin did his mojo and, after a minute, frowned. “You look fine, Jack, but there’s something weird going on your head. A formerly dormant part of your brain is suddenly active—I can’t say what it controls without some reference materials, but I’m sure it wasn’t like that a few minutes ago.”

  “Get the reference material and get back to me,” I told him curtly. I crossed the dance floor in a few long steps and vaulted onto the low stage. “People! I need to tell you all something!” The sound induction field built into the stage itself sent my words blasting out to reach every corner of the room. Even the corner booth where I’d spotted a couple patrons canoodling earlier.

  That silenced the crowd, as I’d expected. “That little episode was actually a communication from one of the Confed’s mageships. Apparently one of them has gone rogue and the rest of them are requesting our help.”

  This announcement was met by stares of concern and disbelief. I rolled my eyes. “I know it sounds crazy, but don’t you think you all could give me the benefit of the doubt here? Have I ever seemed delusional or prone to telling tall tales?”

  More murmurs greeted the question. “No!” said Bigby, in a voice that without amplification caused the walls and floor to vibrate slightly.

  “Thank you. What happened could happen again at any time. I don’t believe Radiance finished its conversation with me. Our mageships are in trouble and they fear taking their problem to the authorities because of some internal situation we know nothing about. Apparently there are those who wish to terminate the mageship program and perhaps even the mageships themselves.”

  “More anti-magic hysteria,” I heard someone say in an icy tone. It was Rio and she looked as disgusted as I’d ever seen her. As a vampire, she’d lived through the anti-science hysteria of the early twenty-first century, then the anti-magic furor that had followed. She was a scientist and found any sort of war against knowledge deeply offensive.

  Some of this was a sudden insight, nothing I’d known for any length of time at all. To be honest, it creeped me out a little. I had the distinct impression that Rio’s mind wasn’t a good place for an amateur to meddle. I wasn’t quite sure how I managed to get in there, since I’d always had the impression it was as secure as a bank vault, but I already knew I didn’t want to stay there for any length of time. There were some rather unpleasant ideas floating around in its murky depths.

  “I ask you all to be patient and hang around a little longer—even past closing if it’s necessary—until I have more information for you. I have the feeling that there’s a reason you all showed up tonight, strange as that may sound. The ships may need all of us to lend a hand.”

  “So what kind of emergency are we talking about?” asked Kaleel, who didn’t look as though she wanted any part of it. I wondered how much she knew about the mageships and the Confed in general, since she was an immigrant from another universe entirely.

  “Radiance told me that one of their number has gone rogue. I don’t know what that means, exactly, but—“

  “Gone rogue? And we’re supposed to do what about that?” This from the troll Hydra’s Abyssian girlfriend. “Do you know how powerful they are? If the rest of them can’t handle the problem, what makes you—and them—think we can do anything about it?”

  “Like I said—I don’t have any details yet.

  I didn’t have an answer to that. The communiqué had ended too soon for that. But, the fact was, I had wondered that myself. Sure, we were a talented bunch, but going up against a mageship? It sounded absolutely insane.

  The thought struck me—what if I had been contacted by the rogue? That would turn everything around, wouldn’t it? Now that gave me the willies. I didn’t want a crazed mageship rummaging around inside my head.

  ::It’s a reasonable fear::

  The voice was back. I scanned the crowd and hopped down from the stage, on the off chance it would send me back into unconsciousness and pitch me into the crowd.

  ::I apologize. It appears I overloaded your synapses. I’ve dialed down the power output and that should not happen again::

  That was welcome news, but I wasn’t crazy about the idea that it could hang out in my head and interrupt any time it wished. Don’t you all have human “pilots”? I asked, referring to the mage partners who had been recruited and assigned to partner with the great mageships to provide a human reference point for the massively powerful mystical machines. Where’s your partner?

  ::She’s been taken by the rogue::

  She? Now that was an interesting development. I should have realized that some of the mage-pilots were female. Why not, after all? The Confed was completely integrated, racism, sexism, and so many other isms rendered obsolete in political terms. Maybe not socially, but politically.

  Taken? How?

  ::Before we realized Ranger had gone rogue, Ranger requested a direct meeting with all the pilots. Once it had them, it simply leaped away, throwing up a bafflement shield so we couldn’t follow::

  I frowned. So your pilots are all gone?

  ::Indeed. We spent the better part of an earth week trying to figure out where it had gone. Then one of our number thought to check the time streams—it turns out that Ranger had jumped universes. Worldgated::

  This brought me up short. I thought you needed to be near an occupied planet to do that.

  ::As did we. We’re still not certain how Ranger managed it. But, putting our resources together, we managed to track Ranger to a nearby Earth, remarkably similar to Prime a few hundred years ago. Ranger is trying to recruit an army. To invade Prime::

  What?! I couldn’t conceal my shock. Why?

  ::We don’t know. You have some idea of how powerful we are, of course. Imagine the influence one of us could have on a world similar to twentieth century Earth::

  I didn’t want to. The idea was making my head spin. What did you do to my brain?

  ::I modified it to allow for easier communication between us. There will be some side-effects, but they should be minor::

  I opened my eyes and addressed the crowd again, passing along what Radiance had told me. No one looked particularly thrilled by the revelation.

  “So what does it want us to do?” asked Stormchild, speaking for the first time. He shot a glance at Rio, who sighed. She obviously didn’t want to get involved, but it was pretty apparent Stormchild was more than willing.

  “It probably wants us to go there and counter whatever Ranger is doing to recruit its army.” I wasn’t sure
this was it, but I thought it sounded like a good bet.

  “They outnumber Ranger, don’t they? Why don’t they just go in and drag it back here to face whatever justice awaits it?”

  Another question for which I had no answer. Radiance did. ::If Ranger grew desperate it could seriously injure or destroy any of us by sacrificing itself. None of us are willing to take the chance, or risk our pilots::

  That was reasonable. Maybe too reasonable. So what’s the plan, then?

  ::We intend to transport you to this Earth and offer strategic support while you track down the leaders of this army of Ranger’s. Neutralize them as we work to subdue Ranger::

  I hoped that, by using the word “neutralize”, the mageship didn’t intend it to be a euphemism for the word “kill”. Did mageships use euphemisms? So when do you mean to send us there?

  ::Now::

  Wait a min—

  Of course, it didn’t.

  The transition was instantaneous. We found ourselves crammed inside what was most likely a coffee shop, our sudden arrival displacing tables, chairs and other items of interior décor into ragged piles around the edge of the room.

  A wave of shock and general annoyance ran through the room. I lifted a hand. “Sorry, folks. I guess this has become rather vital. We were chatting and the ‘ship cut me off and transported us here.”

  “So what now?” growled Boneyard, muscling his way through the crowd and peering through the glass door and steel mesh screen that separated the shop from the sidewalk outside. The streetlight cast a dreary glow through the fog winding its way down the avenue.

  “Something tells me the only way we’re going to get home is if we can pull this off. I just wish I had a better idea of what to do. We need to find a base of operations. Somehow I don’t think this coffee shop is going to make it.”

  “I’d say we could rent a hotel room,” murmured Steph, emerging out of the mob, “but there are far too many of us for that to work. We’d need to rent a whole damn hotel.”

  “Hell, this is San Francisco, and, by the looks of things, not all that different than the city we’re used to.” Kevin made a gesture and then stepped through an invisible hole in space to appear on the sidewalk outside the shop. He looked both ways and then started walking, vanishing into the fog in seconds.