Far from Perfect (Perfect, Indiana: Book One)

by Longley, Barbara

  “Would the first of September give you sufficient time?”

  “That would be perfect. Thank you.”

  “I’ll be putting some paperwork in the mail today, and we’ll let you know when we schedule the next staff orientation.”

  “Great. Thank you so much. I’m really excited about joining Riley Children’s.” Ceejay bare the carriage house?”. “. His ly heard the rest of what Emily Larkins said after that. Her ears rang, and excitement thrummed through her. She closed her cell phone and danced her way from the kitchen into the living room.

  “What are you doing, Mommy?” Lucinda looked up at her from her place on the rug. She had her plastic horses set up inside their plastic paddock and stable.

  “I’m dancing a happy dance.” She’d give her notice at Deaconess tonight. That would give her the entire month of August off, and that sent her into another twirl. She had the money from the cashier’s check Noah had given her. Ten thousand would be enough for the move and a vacation, and she’d pay her aunt back the eight grand she owed her once the insurance check arrived. Maybe she’d even buy herself a new car. “I’m taking you to Disney World.”

  “We’re gonna live in Disney World?”

  “No, silly. We’re going to Disney World for a vacation.”

  “What’s a vacation?”

  “Something we’ve never had. We’ll invite Aunt Jenny too.”

  “And Sweet Pea?”

  Ceejay laughed. “Nope. Sweet Pea is going to have to stay here.” Maybe Ted could come stay at the house and watch the dog for them. Lucinda had caught the spirit of the moment and rose to dance with her. Ceejay grabbed her hands and twirled them both in a circle.

  “What’s going on in here?” Jenny beamed at them from the foyer. She had her canvas bag full of diner leftovers in her arms.

  “I got the job in Indianapolis. I just got off the phone with HR, and the best part is I don’t have to start until September.”

  “That’s wonderful, Ceejay. Congratulations.”

  Lucinda bounced in place. “We’re going to vacation!”

  “Will you come with us, Jenny? I want to take you and Lucinda to Disney World. We can stay in their most luxurious resort and have all our meals served to us for a change.”

  “That sounds lovely.” Jenny plopped down on the couch. “I don’t remember the last time I went on a vacation.”

  “Mommy, can we bring Uncle Noah too?”

  “No.” Ceejay stopped dancing. She pushed back the hurt and disappointment Lucinda’s question stirred up and glanced at her aunt.

  Jenny set her canvas grocery bag on the floor. “Lucinda, do you think you can drag this bag to the kitchen for me?”

  Lucinda grabbed the handles and lifted the sack. “I can carry it.”

  “You sure can. Thank you, sweetheart.” Jenny waited until she’d left the room before turning to Ceejay. “I noticed you’ve been avoiding Noah for the past two days. Date didn’t go so well?”

  “Oh, the date went fine.”

  “Then what’s the problem?”

  “I want this to be a family vacation. That’s all. He’s not family.” Ceejay stared at the porcelain figurines decorating the fireplace mantel. One, two, three...

  “I wasn’t referring to Disneyland.”

  “We’re going to Disney World eyes were riveted on her t c pi. It’s in Florida. Disneyland is in California.”

  “Ceejay...”

  “He wants to adopt Lucinda, OK? Right after the good night kiss he sprang it on me.” Ceejay moved closer to the figurines and turned her back to Jenny. “I don’t want the Langfords to be a part of our lives.”

  “They already are whether you want it or not. Allison Langford is Lucinda’s grandmother. Noah is her uncle.”

  “Matt walked away. I never looked for him or his family, and I’ve never asked for a thing from the Langfords. They didn’t even know Lucinda existed.” She swallowed the rising bitterness. “I want things to go back to the way they were.”

  “You don’t mean that. Think about Lucinda. I would think you, more than most, would understand how important family is to a little girl. Would you have wanted me to turn your father away if he had suddenly appeared at our door when you were little?”

  Jenny’s words stung. Ceejay closed her eyes and gritted her teeth while anger and shame circled each other inside her like boxers looking to throw the first punch.

  “Noah cares a great deal about you and Lucinda. He might go about it all wrong, but his heart is in the right place. He wants to help.”

  She shook her head. Not what she wanted to hear when her pride had been so badly bruised.

  “You have feelings for him, don’t you?”

  “I do not!” She let out the breath she’d been holding and turned back toward her aunt. “He mostly just pisses me off.”

  “Like I said.” Jenny chuckled. “He couldn’t get under your skin the way he does if you didn’t feel something for him.”

  “Aunt Jenny, I put all the leftovers away.” Lucinda skipped into the room.

  “Oh, boy.” Jenny rose from the couch. “Let’s go see where you put everything. Can you show me?” She took Lucinda’s hand.

  “I have to get ready for work.” Ceejay watched the two people she loved most in the world head to the kitchen before she walked upstairs. Ted would be working on the second-floor porch—with Noah.

  The old, derelict space with its rusted-out screens, peeling paint, and rotting wood had been turned into an inviting three-season porch. The smell of new paint and varnish filled the entire second floor. Ceejay placed her fingers on the edge of one of the French double doors where it was taped and opened it enough to poke her head through. “Hey, Teddy.” She ignored Noah, even though her heart raced at the sight of him. “I have good news.”

  “Yeah?” Ted didn’t stop painting, but he glanced at her over his shoulder.

  “I got the job in Indianapolis.”

  He stopped working and turned to face her. “Good for you, Ceejay.”

  She edged her way onto the drop cloth covering the newly refinished floor. “I was wondering if you’d be interested in house-sitting and taking care of Sweet Pea for a week. I’m taking Jenny and Lucinda on a vacation.”

  “I can do it.” Noah stared at her from beneath his lowered brow.

  “I’d be happy to pay you, Ted. How’s a hundred fif and forced himself to concentrateo had been ty sound?”

  Ted looked from her to Noah and back again. “That sounds great. Let me know when you have your plans firmed up.”

  “I will.” She gave him a big I’m happy grin. “I’m giving my notice tonight, and I’m taking the whole month of August off. Will you help me move?”

  “Sure.”

  Noah put his drill down and started toward her. “Ceejay...”

  “Gotta go.” She backed out and pulled the doors closed.

  “What’d you do to piss her off this time?” Ted asked Noah behind the door.

  Curiosity burned through her at the sound of Noah’s low murmured reply.

  Ted laughed. “Yep, that’d do it.”

  What had Noah said? Let it go. His reply didn’t matter. She’d managed to avoid him since their date. She intended to avoid him from now on.

  Ceejay parked her car in the driveway and glanced at the dashboard clock before shutting the engine off. Almost two a.m. She smiled, remembering how excited everyone at work had been when she’d told them her big news. They’d insisted on taking her out after work to celebrate.

  Exhausted, she wanted nothing more than to fall into bed. She yawned as she got out of her car and headed for the front door. Fumbling with her purse, she put her cell phone and keys away as she climbed the veranda steps.

  “Ceejay.”

  “Crap!” Her purse slipped from her hands and hit the floor. She bent over to pick everything up that had spilled out. “You just took a good five years off my life, Noah. What are doing out here, anyway? It’s late, or early.
Whatever.”

  “Feeding the mosquitoes, mostly—and waiting for you.” He rose from the shadows to loom over her as she stuffed her things back into her purse. “We need to talk.”

  “It couldn’t have waited until tomorrow?”

  “No.”

  “I really don’t have anything to say, other than no. You can’t adopt my daughter.” She rose, slung the strap of her purse over her shoulder, and tried to edge her way around him to the door.

  He caught her around the waist with one arm and hauled her close. “That’s fine. In fact it’s better. You don’t need to say anything. Just listen.” He led her to the steps and drew her down to sit next to him.

  “Noah...”

  “All you have to do is listen.” He glanced at her. “Matt stole your car and your money. He abandoned you at a time when you should’ve been able to depend on him for support.”

  “Not only me. Lucinda too.” She started to rise, and he grabbed her hand and tugged her back down. She clamped her lips shut and fought the urge to pull away and run for the door.

  “I know. My stepbrother lied, cheated, and used you, and I can’t even imagine how awful that must’ve been. I’m sorrier than you’ll ever know.” He swallowed hard. “But I didn’t do that to you. My family didn’t do that to you, and it the carriage house?”. “. His ’s time you got over being angry at us for something we had no control over.”

  “I know it wasn’t you!”

  “That’s not what I’m getting here. Did it ever occur to you that I want to adopt Lucinda because it’ll make your life easier?”

  “No, it didn’t. I’m thinking it’s more because you think I’m a lousy mother.”

  He jerked around to face her. “How can you say such a thing, much less think it? You’re a great mom, and Lucinda is one lucky little girl to have you. Did it ever occur to you that my adopting Lucinda is the only way I can make amends for what my asshole of a brother did, or that it’s another way I can get closer to you?”

  He ran his hand over the back of his skull, a gesture so familiar to her now that her heart turned over. “It’s not up to you to make amends for Matt. You can’t fix what he did.” She stared out into the dark orchard. “I don’t want you to get any closer.”

  “Why not?”

  Why couldn’t he just let it go and leave her be? She shook her head.

  “Come on, Ceejay. Spill it. I’m not letting you leave this porch until you do, and let me tell you, the mosquitoes are fierce tonight.” He slapped the side of his neck as if to prove his point.

  They sat in silence for several minutes with her hand firmly grasped in his. She couldn’t take it anymore. Stupid, stubborn man. “The reason I don’t want you to get any closer is because it’ll make it all the more difficult when you leave. I don’t want Lucinda to go through that. Satisfied?” She turned away and struggled to keep her tears from falling.

  “What makes you so certain I’ll leave?”

  “You will.” Everyone else had. Why would he be any different?

  “You don’t know that.” His voice was tinged with hurt. “And you don’t even think I’m worth the risk to find out, do you?”

  He thought she saw him as not being worth the risk? Stunned, Ceejay couldn’t think of anything to say. He had it all backward.

  “I’m Lucinda’s uncle. That makes me family.”

  “Yeah, Matt was family too. He was her father.”

  “Damn, you’re hardheaded.” He blew out an exasperated breath and stood on the step. Stuffing his hands into his front pockets, he stared straight ahead into the darkness. “Give me that second date, Ceejay, and a third. I want you, and I think you want me too. Constantly pushing me away is taking a toll. I’m not Matt, and I shouldn’t have to bear the brunt of your anger toward him.” He glanced down at her. “Take a chance on me. That’s all I’m asking. Give us a shot.”

  “What if it doesn’t work out?” Her voice sounded small, even to her own ears.

  He scowled. “At least we’ll know we tried. Isn’t that better than always running away because you’re afraid you might get hurt?”

  She sucked in her breath. He was right. She was the one who’d been doing the running, and all because of her own fears and insecurities. All those dreams of a family of her own, a man to love her—she’d stuffed those ho at him. “s . His pes deep down because she feared they’d never happen for her.

  What would it be like to let herself go and to fall in love with Noah? Hell, she was already more than halfway there. He was everything she could want in a man—smart, considerate, openly affectionate, and great with Lucinda. Almost perfect.

  She frowned as she watched him turn the corner of the house and disappear. He thought she didn’t see him as worthy? He wanted her? “Shit,” she muttered. “It’s gonna be another sleepless night.”

  “What’re you still doing here, Jenny?” Ceejay ushered her daughter into the kitchen for breakfast. Her aunt was usually gone by the crack of dawn. “Why aren’t you at work?”

  “I took the day off.” Jenny sat at the kitchen table with a craft magazine laid out before her on the table. “I have my yearly checkup scheduled for later this morning. I can’t even have coffee. That’s the hardest part.” She winked at Lucinda and turned the page in front of her.

  “What time do you need to be at the clinic?”

  “Not till eleven. You got home awfully late last night.” Jenny turned another page of the magazine. “I heard you come in.”

  “My friends took me out after work.”

  “I heard voices on the porch.”

  Heat flooded Ceejay’s cheeks. She caught her aunt’s eye and nodded toward Lucinda.

  Her aunt chuckled. “What was Noah doing out on the porch at that hour?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe he couldn’t sleep and wanted some fresh air.”

  “Oh, he wants something all right, but I don’t think it’s air.”

  “I’m going to go get my laptop.” Ceejay fled the kitchen, and Noah’s words came back to her full force. I want you, and I think you want me too. She wanted him all right, and it was driving her crazy. She was halfway up the stairs when someone knocked on the front door. Turning around, she called out to her aunt. “I’ll get it.”

  She opened the door and came face-to-face with Noah. His green eyes bored into hers like he was mining her soul for answers. He opened his mouth to say something, then shut it again.

  “Where’s Ted?” She opened the door wider for him to enter.

  “He’s on his way.” He gestured toward the stairs. “I need to get to the porch. I have to come in through the house.”

  “Sure. The porch looks great, by the way. It’s probably better now than when it was first built.” Lame, so lame. For the second time in the past thirty minutes, her face flamed. “I was heading upstairs for my laptop. We’re going to make our vacation plans this morning.”

  “I can watch the house and the dog for you while you’re gone.”

  “I know. Thanks.” She started up the stairs with him right behind her. Hyperawareness of his nearness kicked her pulse up a few notches. “Ted could use the cash, though, and he’s here almost every day anyway.” at him. “s . His

  “What about that second date, Ceejay?”

  “Still thinking.” They reached the second-floor landing. Facing him was almost too intense, and her heart had lodged itself in her throat.

  Noah took her by the shoulders and turned her to face him. Placing a finger under her chin, he raised her face and brushed his mouth over hers in a barely there kiss. Flutters and tingles zinged through her. Who knew such a tiny touch could cause so much chaos?

  “Let me know once you’ve decided.” He kissed her again and let her go.

  She swallowed. “I will.”

  He nodded and walked down the hall. Man, he had a great butt, and he’d certainly filled out nicely in the few months he’d lived with them. His muscle tone had improved now that he was more physically active.
If she were to be honest with herself, she’d have to say he was drool-worthy.

  “You’re checking me out, aren’t you, honey?” he called without looking back.

  “You wish.”

  His laughter made her heart sing a brand-new tune, and she floated all the way down the hall to her room. She grabbed her laptop and headed back to the kitchen. So this is what happiness feels like. How could everything suddenly be so good in her life? A new job, the prospect of living in a big city, her first-ever vacation, and a man who wanted her.

  Ceejay walked back from the mailbox and flipped through the pile in her hands. She came across an envelope addressed to her from Langford Plumbing Supplies. Frowning, she tucked the rest of the mail under one arm, tore the envelope open, pulled out the letter, and began to read.

  Dear Ms. Lovejoy;

  I hope you’ve had a chance to reconsider your position regarding visitation with our granddaughter, Lucinda. As I mentioned during our previous conversation, we have much to offer. It is foolish on your part to reject the advantages to you and Lucinda based solely on the grudge you bear for my recently deceased stepson...

  She tore the letter into little bits. She didn’t like Edward Langford’s pushiness, or the implication that she could be bought, that having them in Lucinda’s life was all about advantages. Calling her foolish hadn’t done much to make her more receptive to the idea, either. Maybe if he’d presented his case differently, if it was about getting to know Lucinda, loving her, then she could forget his arrogance. Was Allison like him? She’d seemed warm enough, but had she put her husband up to the phone call and this letter?

  Confusion and guilt buzzed around in her head. She didn’t want their relationship with Lucinda to be predicated by the advantages they could offer. Maybe she’d discuss it with Noah, explain her position, and have him talk to his folks. Why couldn’t they give her some time, let her be the one to make the first move?

  She walked back to the kitchen, put the mail on the table, and threw the scraps of paper into the trash. Her list of rental units and telephone numbers lay on the counter. She glanced at the “Award-Winning Hogs” calendar on the kitchen wall and started to calculate. Five more shifts spread out over the next nine days, and then she’d be free. If she called and set up at him. “s . His appointments to look at her list of possible homes, she could head up to Indianapolis next week on her days off. Lucinda would love staying in a motel with a pool.