Far from Perfect (Perfect, Indiana: Book One)

by Longley, Barbara

  Lucinda nodded and put her hands under the cast on her wrist as if to lift it for her. Ceejay let her lead the way past Noah and into the house. “Maybe we could stop by Aunt Jenny’s room on the way to mine.”

  “She’s sleeping right now.”

  Noah’s voice and nearness sent a bittersweet thrill down her spine. “How is she?”

  “Good.” He placed his hand on the banister close behind her and kept it there as she climbed the stairs. “She’s eating well.”

  Her nursing instincts kicked in. “Who’s been taking care of her dressings and the drainage tube?”

  “I’ve been taking care of her,” Allison said as she followed them upstairs.

  Ceejay nodded, swallowed the lump in her throat, and made her way into her room with Lucinda acting as her guide. Allison closed the door, leaving Noah alone in the hallway, and helped her get into a pair of boxers and a baggy T-shirt for a nap.

  “Thanks for your help.” Ceejay sank into the familiar softness of her own mattress.

  “That’s what we’re here for. I’ll be up to check on you in a couple of hours.”

  Lucinda pulled the sheet up to her chin for her, and Ceejay smiled. “Thank you, baby. You’re a good little nurse.”

  “Sleep, Mommy.” She kissed her cheek.

  Ceejay nodded and closed her eyes, already halfway there. The door closed, and she let sleep take her.

  From her place on the veranda, Ceejay shielded her eyes against the early morning sun and watched Edward Langford say good-bye to his wife. The way they held each other you’d think they were newlyweds, not an older couple married for years. Even though she wasn’t completely comfortable around him, for Lucinda’s sake, she appreciated that he’d stayed for her first full day home.

  Noah strapped Lucinda in and crossed around the hood to the climb into the driver’s seat. Lucinda had insisted on going with them, and they all agreed she’d enjoy watching planes take off and land. The truck disappeared down the gravel drive, and Allison headed back to the veranda.

  “Do you need anything, Ceejay?”

  “No, thanks. Take advantage of the lull. Put your feet up. We’ve been working you to the bone.”

  “I might just do that and her eyes grew brightofs . His .” Allison smiled and sank into the chair across from her. “I’m glad we could help out. We had to wrestle with all your uncles and aunts for the opportunity, you know.”

  “I can imagine.” Ceejay shot her an amused look. “I don’t know how to thank you. You’ve been great, and—”

  “You don’t have to thank me. I love spending time with my adorable granddaughter. She’s so bright and confident, and she already has a great deal of empathy for a child her age.”

  Her daughter was amazing, and Allison’s praise sent a rush of pride through Ceejay. “Thanks.”

  “I know it’s hard for you to be around my husband.” Allison propped her elbows on the table and rested her chin on her hands. “He can be difficult, but Ed is a good man. He’s generous, fiercely loyal, and protective of his family. He and I are both hoping you’ll allow us to include you in that circle.”

  “I need some time.” Could she warm up to the man who had threatened to keep her in court until Lucinda turned eighteen? What would she have done if the tables had been turned? Lucinda meant the world to Allison. Anyone could see that, and Ed would do anything for his wife. Maybe she could forgive him. Eventually.

  “Take as much time as you need. As far as we’re concerned, you’re already family.” Allison tilted her head and surveyed the grounds. “I get why Noah loves it here so much. Something about this place is calming, healing. He’s doing well. I have you and Jenny to thank for that, so we’re even.”

  “Me?” Ceejay blinked, and her brow rose. “I don’t think I’ve had anything to do with Noah’s recovery. He told me once I’m like a scab he can’t stop picking.”

  “Exactly.” Allison laughed. “Go. Rest. We got you up too early this morning.”

  “I could use a nap.” She yawned and rose from her place. Had they helped Noah? He did look healthier, thanks to diner leftovers and working outside in the fresh air and sunshine. If only he’d talk to her. It had been two days since he’d come to see her in the hospital and she’d told him to go home. What was keeping him?

  She climbed the stairs like an old lady, stiff and slow. Her ribs still hurt when she moved, and getting around taxed her reserves. She had no energy. Careful not to let her bedroom door close all the way, she made her way to the bed, sank into the mattress with a heavy sigh, and fell asleep.

  Ceejay woke up and checked her clock. She’d slept for two and a half hours, and her stomach grumbled with hunger. She swung her legs over the side of her bed and pushed herself up with her good elbow. If she was lucky, Allison had tucked some easy leftovers in the fridge, and she could manage putting together a snack to see her through until lunch. She nudged her door open and started down the hall toward the back stairs to the kitchen.

  Jenny’s door was open a crack, and she peeked inside the room. “Hey, can I come in?”

  “Of course.” Jenny had a book propped open on her lap and her reading glasses on. She took them off and set them aside. “The swelling on your forehead has gone down some.”

  “Look at us. We got out of different hospitals on the same day. Did you ever think we’d both be in such a state?” Ceejay eased herself down and her eyes grew brightret c on the cushy chair next to the fireplace. A snack could wait. “How are you feeling?”

  “Better. More optimistic. I’m going to go through with the rest of the cancer treatments.”

  The air left her lungs on a surge of relief, and she leaned her head back. “That’s good.”

  “And you?” Jenny asked.

  “I think Noah is done with me.” The words slipped out before she had a chance to think them through. Maybe having uncorked everything with Allison had removed any kind of filter she’d had.

  “Don’t be ridiculous. He’s still here, isn’t he?”

  “Sure, probably for Lucinda.” Tears stung, and she blinked them away. “He’s not talking to me, and I’ve scarcely seen him.”

  “Oh, honey.” Jenny raised herself against the headboard. “He thinks your accident was his fault. He believes you’re the one who’s through with him.”

  “That’s crazy. He wasn’t driving too fast around the bend. I did that all on my own.”

  “Still, it’s what he thinks right now, and he’s hurting. He’s crazy about you.”

  Her heart raced at the thought. “What makes you think so?”

  “He told me. I started to ask him how he felt, and he told me before I got the question out.”

  “He did?” The hopeful thrill expanded to a bubble of joy, then burst as the despair she’d seen in Noah’s eyes flashed through her mind. “That was then, and this is now.” Ceejay glanced at her aunt. “I think I might’ve pushed him over the edge. When he came to the hospital to see me, I told him to go away. I couldn’t handle any more that day. He must’ve misunderstood me.”

  Ceejay fussed with the lace doily on the arm of the upholstered chair. “And even if we do manage to work it out, how do I know if he’s the real thing or just another recipe for the same old heartburn?”

  “You don’t. None of us do. You have to be willing to take the chance. Happiness doesn’t come easy. It’s work, but well worth the effort.”

  “I take it Sheriff Maurer finally told you how he feels?” She was pleased to see the color flooding her aunt’s cheeks.

  Jenny bit her lip and nodded. “I told him I feel the same. Have for years.”

  “Why did it take you two so long to get around to telling each other something so important?”

  “I don’t know. He’s been my best friend forever. I didn’t want to wreck what we had in case he didn’t feel the same way.” Jenny lifted a shoulder and let it drop. “We see each other every day, and I tell him everything. I guess I figured that was enough.”
r />   “Well, I’m glad you got around to spilling the truth. You both deserve to be happy.”

  “So do you. Ceejay, you know you’re the daughter of my heart, and Harlen feels the same.” Jenny averted her gaze and gripped her quilt. “That’s why he...Harlen did something, honey, something you need to know about.”

  Ceejay tensed. “What?”

  “The day of your acc and her eyes grew brightcarriage houseA4ident Harlen was upset.” Jenny’s expression turned grim. “He ran into Noah at the hospital and said some things he shouldn’t have.”

  Ceejay focused her attention on the dust motes swirling in the beam of sunlight streaming through her aunt’s window. Could one count particles of dust? She didn’t even try. The urge to count things had diminished since she’d spilled her guts to Allison. “What did he say?”

  “He told Noah he’d caused you nothing but trouble, and that it would be best for everyone if he moved on.”

  “No!” She shot up from her chair, wincing at the pain her abrupt movement caused. Was that why Noah hadn’t talked to her these past two days?

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Harlen needs to take it back.” Her gaze flew around the room as if she’d find the solution to all her problems in one of the four corners. “What am I going to do?”

  “Do you love Noah?”

  “I do. I really do, and it scares the hell out of me.” There. She’d admitted it out loud. No take-backs once a person said something like that out loud. She’d put up a good fight, tried to wiggle away from the fact—no more. She loved Noah, and it was the kind of love that took root and grew deeper and stronger with time. She had to fix things between them.

  “Talk to him.”

  “How can I?” Frustration coupled with anxiety started her pacing. “He’s avoiding me.”

  “Hmmm, you found a way that night you spent in the carriage house.”

  Ceejay stopped in her tracks. “You know about that?”

  “Course I do.” Jenny chuckled. “Not much gets by me. Find a way and talk to him.”

  Could she do that? She couldn’t live with herself knowing Noah believed he was to blame for anything that had happened over the past week. “I will.”

  “Hello.” Sheriff Maurer rapped on the door and came in. “Well, look at this. Both my girls up at the same time.” He held two bouquets in his arms. “How are you two feeling?”

  Jenny’s answering smile could’ve lit up a moonless night, and it warmed Ceejay’s heart to see it. Harlen tried to hand her one of the bouquets. The best she could manage was to press it against her chest with her cast. “Thank you. These are lovely. I’ll take them down to the kitchen and put them in water.”

  The sheriff cleared his throat. “Ceejay, I might’ve—”

  “I know. Jenny told me.” She leveled her gaze at him. “I’m going to talk to Noah, and you should too. He didn’t cause my accident, and he’s done all of us nothing but good since he got here.” She crossed the room and leaned down to give her aunt a peck on the cheek. “Are you coming downstairs for lunch today? You need to get out of that bed and move around.”

  “I will.” Jenny glanced at the sheriff. “Will you stay, Harlen?”

  “If you want me to, of course I will, sweetheart.”

  Ceejay rolled her eyes. This was going to take some getting used to. “See you later.” She left the room and headed for the kitchen to see if she could fill a vas eyes were riveted on herme to ever e with water on her own. Flexing her fingers, she tested the dexterity. The swelling had gone down some, and her fingers didn’t look like fat sausages anymore. Maybe she had to practice what she preached to Jenny and get moving.

  Staring at the kitchen cabinet wasn’t going to get that vase down from the shelf. Ceejay pushed a chair across the kitchen floor with her knee until it rested next to the counter.

  She climbed onto the seat and reached with her right hand, barely catching the rim. She pinched it between her thumb and fingers and dragged it to the edge.

  “What are you doing?”

  Noah’s voice sent a rush of adrenaline through her, followed by a flood of heat. His strong hands encircled her waist, holding her steady.

  “You shouldn’t be up on that chair.”

  His sudden appearance sent her heart flying around inside her rib cage. “I’m trying to get this vase so I can put these flowers in water.” She brought the vase down, and it hit the counter with a thunk.

  “Let me do it.”

  “No. I have to start doing as much as I can.”

  “That’s ridiculous. It’s only been a couple of days since your surgery.”

  Ceejay climbed off the chair. She pulled the vase against her chest and set it beside the sink. Her fingers weren’t strong enough to hold the weight, and even though the break in her clavicle was on the left side, her movements caused a throbbing ache. Spots danced before her eyes. She hated being so weak and helpless. A fine sheen of sweat broke out on her forehead. “Maybe you’re right.”

  Noah put his arm around her and led her to the kitchen table. “Sit down.”

  For days she’d longed to feel his arms around her in that protective way, and now it felt more professional than personal. “Nurses and doctors make the worst patients.” She lowered herself to the chair and put her head down as much as she could. “Noah, can we talk?”

  Sweet Pea started barking, and someone knocked on the front door.

  “Uh...sure, but I’m in the middle of something right now. Can it wait?”

  “OK. Maybe later today?”

  He nodded, stepped back, and stared down at her for an intense instant, then took off out the back door without a backward glance.

  She stared at the door, hoping he’d come back. What could she do if he refused to talk?

  Allison walked into the kitchen, trailed by Lucinda and Gail Offermeyer. Both women had their hands full.

  “Denny sent supplies,” Gail announced. “Smoked bacon, smoked turkey, and a ham. I also made potato salad and coleslaw. This ought to keep you all fed for a while.”

  Ceejay wanted to run after Noah and make him talk to her until everything went back to the way it was before. Instead, she pasted a smile on her face and turned to greet her neighbor. “Thanks, Gail. You didn’t have to do that.”

  “Mommy, I got to see airplanes wif Grandpa and Uncle Noah. Can we go on one?” Lucinda came to lean against her legs.

  “Someday.” She’d already quit her new job and canceled their trip to Disney World and the appointments to look at houses to rent eyes were riveted on herme to ever in Indianapolis. How had her life backslid into limbo so quickly?

  Gail started toward the refrigerator. “Consider the food payment for all the late-night, panicky phone calls we’ve made over the years about screaming or sick babies.”

  “Put that stuff on the counter, Gail. I’ll take care of it.” Allison set her own load down. “I was about to make lunch anyway. Do you want to help, Lucinda?”

  Lucinda moved to climb onto the chair Ceejay had moved to the counter. “Yes, Grandma. We have to have a vegetable or a fruit too.”

  “That’s right, sweetheart.” Allison cupped Lucinda’s face in her hands for a second, and then turned to Ceejay. “You two head out to the porch, and I’ll bring you some iced tea.”

  “I’ll get the tea, Mrs. Langford.” Gail opened a cabinet, took two glasses down, and set them on the counter before heading for the fridge.

  “Thanks, and call me Allison.” She smiled.

  Feeling useless, Ceejay rose from her chair and waited for Gail to join her on the way to the veranda. “Thanks for stopping by.”

  “Believe me, the pleasure’s all mine. Denny’s mom came over to watch the kids.” Gail sighed audibly as she placed the glasses of tea on the table and sank into a chair. “I hardly ever get time away from the house without my entourage of short people.”

  Ceejay laughed and took a seat. “I don’t know how you do it with three. One is hard enough.�
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  “Do you want more children?”

  “I haven’t really thought about it.” She wasn’t about to admit out loud how much she longed for a family of her own, with a husband, and siblings for Lucinda. She frowned as her conversation with Dr. Jordan echoed through her head. Yes, there’s a chance... She dismissed the thought. What were the odds? Wouldn’t she be eligible for some kind of world record book if she got pregnant twice because of a torn condom? Not to mention both fathers being from the same family. No. Way. Couldn’t happen. Except...wasn’t that the way things always went for her? No. Not this time. “I guess I would if the circumstances were right.”

  “I’m so glad you and Noah are seeing each other. Denny and I have been desperate for another couple to do things with. Maybe we can go out for a beer one night soon.”

  Ceejay’s calendar count stopped. “Noah doesn’t drink.”

  “Not even beer?” Gail’s expression turned to surprise.

  “Nope, not even a beer. He says too many veterans with post-traumatic stress disorder self-medicate with drugs and alcohol, and it only leads to more problems. He doesn’t want to take the chance.”

  “He’s a good guy, Ceejay.”

  “I know.” She had to fight the urge to run off the porch to the carriage house to make Noah listen to reason.

  Gail sipped her tea. “He’s really good with Lucinda too. He’ll be a great dad someday.”

  Ceejay couldn’t help smiling at the memories triggered by Gail’s words. Noah sitting in the wet grass by the sandbox, their trip to the zoo with Lucinda’s constant barrage of questions and and her eyes grew brightcarriage houseA4chatter, Noah holding her daughter’s hand or holding her on his lap. “He is good with her. She adores him.” So do I.

  “Are things serious between you two?”

  I wish. If his abrupt departure from the kitchen was any indication, not so much. “We’ve only been out once. It’s way too soon to say.”

  “Sure, but he lives here, and you see him all the time.”

  Lucinda pushed the screen door open and came over to them. Sweet Pea ambled out behind her. “I’m done helping, and Grandma said to sit wif you and Mrs. Offmeyer.”