“It’s not a big deal. No one uses this space for anything so I just wanted to...beautify it.”
“Do you do this for all your girlfriends?” I imagined a big ‘Rebecca’ lived underneath my name. It was a bit creepy.
“Nope.” Logan’s index finger drew a path from the base of my ear, down my jaw, stopping in the middle of my chin. “Just you.”
“Smile!” Austin’s voice pulled me out of my haze.
I looked back just as he snapped the first of about a hundred pictures of Logan and I in front of my name.
“I mean really, Liz. Who does that?” Kim was still obsessing over the wall art while we walked to her house after school. The Jameson kids were going home with a friend so I didn’t have to work.
“He’s just really into drawing. It’s not a big deal.” I couldn’t help the stupid grin that I’d been trying to hold back all day from making another appearance. Every time I thought about Logan painting my name in giant letters, I fell a little bit harder for him.
“Don’t give me that shit about drawing. He’s just really into you.” She wrapped her small, perfectly manicured fingers around my arm and whispered into my ear, “Actually, he’s probably just trying to get into you.”
I laughed and swatted at her hand.
“He’s not a perv like the guys you go out with.” I felt the instinct to defend him but I didn’t actually know what his intentions were about us getting physical.
I assumed he’d been sexually active with his ex and maybe lots of other girls. We never talked about it, and I didn’t actually want to, but it would come up eventually. No seventeen-year-old guy would wait forever.
“I hate to break it to you, honey, but according to Becky, they did it like rabbits. She used to go on and on about it.” She pulled her long hair into two low ponytails that rested on each of her shoulders. Even at the end of the day, she looked amazing.
Becky was a sore subject. Within an hour of getting back to school, word about my wall was all over campus. People kept asking to see pictures of it on my phone. Becky even cornered me in my technology class and asked if it was true. I played dumb just to see what she said. She huffed and swung her big boobs around and stomped out of the room. I didn’t know why she cared but I added her to the list of people to keep an eye on.
“I guess I’ll have to take some lessons from the energizer bunny,” I said sarcastically.
“I’m serious. Are you ready to sleep with him?”
Was I? “No, not yet.” I pulled some gum from my purse. “Well, maybe. On the one hand, I get so caught up with him that I’d do just about anything. On the other hand, I just met him.”
“Just don’t do anything you’re gonna regret.” She sighed. “I know he’s super sweet and really hot but you’ve got a lot to consider if you get serious with him.”
“I know.” She was right, as usual. And I was trying to create a fairy tale where one would never exist. My phone buzzed and I used the excuse of looking at it to collect my thoughts.
“Is that lover boy?” Kim asked, nodding toward the phone in my hand.
“Maybe.” I grinned while I read Logan’s text.
Sorry I couldn’t drive U home. C U tonight?
“You need to work on your poker face.” She leaned over to read my screen. “Tell him to come over. We can watch a movie or something. I’ll text Austin too.”
Kim wants you to come over tonight. Movie?
Definitely. Seven?
“Won’t your parents be home tonight?” I asked. The Curtners were cool but I wasn’t sure how they’d feel about us having guys over.
“They won’t care.” Kim let us in with her door code and we headed straight to her room. “When Mom sees Logan, she’ll really insist on buying you a new wardrobe.”
I stopped mid step, halfway up the flight of stairs. Grabbing the banister for support, I said, “What are you talking about?”
Kim must have realized what she’d said because she froze at the landing and took a deep breath before turning to look down at me. “You know how that woman loves to shop. She’s a freak and she’s basically adopted you.” She held her right hand down for me to approach her. “You just have to deal with it. She obsessed over me for my whole life. Now you get to share in some of the joy that is an ‘overachieving-professional-woman-who-overcompensates-for-not-raising-her-own-child-by-endlessly-shopping’ syndrome.”
Huh?
“If you say so.” I wasn’t going to be rude. I didn’t want charity but if she considered me one of her own, I could at least be gracious enough to accept her generosity.
“I do.” Kim walked into her room, flung herself over the side of her bed, and stared at the ceiling. “Now, what are we going to wear tonight?”
“I’m wearing this.” I looked down at my jeans. “Logan’s gonna think I’m desperate if I always dress up to see him.”
Kim looked thoughtful for a minute. “Ya know, you might be onto something.” She inspected me from head to toe with her eyes. “I think you’re okay this time. Just put on a chunky necklace and you’re golden.”
“A necklace? Really? Is that necessary?”
“Necessary? No. A nice gesture after what he did for you? One hundred percent.” Kim liked to speak in absolutes. She didn’t know a lot about most things but she knew just enough about a lot of things that you could easily believe anything she said. She was the queen of confidence.
The doorbell rang just as I stepped out of the bathroom. I was as casually put together as I was gonna get.
Kim was already downstairs so she took the guys to her family room. I followed their voices and was pulled directly into Logan’s arms as soon as I entered the room. His light cologne reminded me of the last time we watched a movie together.
“Hey, beautiful.” He leaned in for a soft kiss. His lips were smooth and tasted sweet.
“Hey, yourself.” I licked my lips when I pulled back. “You taste yummy.”
Logan laughed and walked me toward the huge sectional. “I’m glad you like it.”
He flopped into a corner of the sofa, pulling me with him so I was cradled against his chest.
“Please, make yourself comfortable,” Kim said, laughing at Logan’s lack of inhibition in her home. “You guys want something to drink?”
I finally noticed the other guys in the room. Austin was seated on the opposite side of the soft and from the corner of my eye I saw someone else. Adam stood by the front window, just watching us.
“Adam!” I hopped up and walked to him. “What are you doing here?”
“Austin and I were studying for stats when he dragged me here.” He smiled and gave me a hug. “It’s good to see you.”
Logan coughed in the background so I looked back and gave him a quick smile.
“You too. I feel like we haven’t talked all week.”
“Well, you’ve been a little distracted,” he leaned in and whispered in my ear, “with a certain hottie that is currently glaring at me with those amazing green eyes.”
I pulled back and stared him in the eye. “Yeah?” I quirked an eyebrow so he knew I was referring to everything he’d just revealed.
He shrugged. “Yeah, well, it’s true.”
“I agree.” I gave him another hug. “And I won’t tell anyone you think so.”
“I know.”
I pulled back and dragged him by the arm to the center of the sectional.
I cuddled into Logan while Kim ran through a list of movies on demand. We settled on Abduction so we had an equal mix of hot guy and action to make everyone happy.
Logan wrapped an arm around me and stretched out so I lay completely against him. I felt a bit self-conscious but not enough to move and lose the contact.
My body settled perfectly against the firm lines of his. Feeling completely possessed by him, I felt safe. His warm breath tickled my cheek as he whispered, “You seemed pretty excited to see Adam.”
I loved that he was trying to hide his jealous
streak. “Yeah, he’s cool. His sister and I have been friends for a long time.”
“Oh.” His heart was beating rapidly against my back but his breathing was deep and controlled. “So, that’s it? Just an old friend?”
Since I’d promised to keep Adam’s secret to myself, I had to play it off. I turned back to give him a quick kiss. “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I promise.”
“You better.” Logan lifted his palm to my cheek and held me in place, kissing me deeply. I didn’t realize I was making noises until a pillow hit me in the back of my head.
“We’re trying to watch a movie over here,” Austin grumped.
Adam grabbed the pillow and held it in his lap. “Ignore him. You guys are cute.”
Kim smiled and shook her head. If Adam was trying to stay in the closet, he needed to watch comments like that.
9
By Thursday afternoon, the guilt was eating at me so I decided to make an appearance at home. Logan was as difficult as ever about letting me take the bus home but since he had to work and didn’t know when I’d be leaving, he had no choice.
I didn’t tell Mom I was going home, just in case I changed my mind, so when I got to the driveway and her car was gone, I knew it was my own fault.
I called her from the curb and she promised she was on her way home so I braved it and walked inside. Jesse was on the couch with a beer in his hand.
“Well, well, well. Did the princess decide to slum it?” He chugged the last of his beer then slammed the can down on the coffee table, flattening it instantly.
“Uh, hey, Jess.” I plastered on a smile and tried to move through the room as if I wasn’t terrified of being alone with him. It was only a matter of time.
“Don’t walk away from me.” He stood and followed me to my room. “Where the hell have you been?”
I was tempted to ask him the same thing but knew better. You don’t poke a drunk bear that has you cornered in a bedroom.
“I was at Kim’s—” Before I could finish, my phone buzzed. Normally, the sound of the vibration isn’t noticeable but I’d just placed it on the dresser so it bounced loudly on the wood.
As I reached for it, Jesse grabbed it from my hand. “Are you home yet, beautiful?” Jesse read the text out loud. “Who the fuck is Logan?”
Shit, shit, shit!
“He’s just a friend from school.” I reached for my phone but he held it out of my reach.
“Sounds like he’s more than a friend.” He stepped closer to me, backing me up against the dresser. “Are you fucking this guy?”
“No! He’s not like that.” Not that it was any of his business.
“Are you sure?” He stepped back and started thumbing out a text. “So, you won’t mind if I ask him myself?”
“What are you saying?” I tried to pull the phone from his hand but he jerked it free, swinging his fist up just as I fell toward him. The phone connected with my right cheekbone. Hard. It hurt but I was more shocked than injured. I tried to hold back the tears pooling behind my lids but they slid down my cheeks anyway. Sometimes being a girl sucked.
“See what you made me do.” He seemed just as shocked as I was. “Go wipe that up. You’re bleeding all over the place.”
I didn’t realize it until he mentioned it but the wet streaks on my face weren’t just tears. Brushing the back of my hand over my face, I saw it was covered in blood.
I was cleaning up in the bathroom when my phone rang. Few people called me so I assumed it was Logan. Whatever Jesse said must have prompted a call. I rushed back to my room to answer it but stopped short when Jesse threw it against the wall, putting a dent in the sheetrock and breaking the phone into several pieces.
“Jesse! I need that.” Initially, I was worried about more tears falling, but not because I was sad about the destruction of my phone. I was pissed. He had no right to touch my property. I paid for that with my own money. “You can’t just break my stuff.”
“Don’t you tell me what I can or can’t break. I own everything in this house, including you. You’d be wise to remember that, beautiful.”
I cringed. He could make even the sweetest words sound dirty. “I need a phone. Will you at least help me replace it?” Appealing to his sense of decency had never worked before but it was worth a shot.
“So you can sext with some punk from school. Fuck no! You’re not talking to him anymore.”
Whatever. It was like trying to reason with a two-year-old. Actually, it was easier to reason with Macy than with her dad. I went back to the bathroom and slammed the door.
I stayed in there until Mom came home. I didn’t want her to see me but I couldn’t avoid her forever. She gasped when she saw me then turned to Jesse. “What did you do?”
“I’m fine, Mom. It was an accident.” Sorta. And it wasn’t worth a fight. Few things were.
“It doesn’t look like an accident. It looks like you were punched in the face.” She gingerly tapped the skin around my eye. “Can you even see out of it?”
“It’s fine.” Making a big deal would just upset Billy and he had enough emotional problems worrying about my mom’s well-being. He didn’t need to worry about me too.
“It’s her own damn fault.” Jesse stormed in from the garage. “Did you know there’s some guy she’s been fucking around with at school?”
“I am not,” I said quietly.
“You have a boyfriend?” Mom seemed equally surprised and hurt. She thought of me as her best friend and expected me to confide all my secrets to her. Sadly, I had no delusions about where her loyalty was.
“No, he’s just a friend.” I glanced at Jesse. “I won’t talk to him anymore.”
I was sure that wouldn’t be an issue because whatever Jesse texted back to him was probably enough to scare Logan away for good. Why did he always have to come home?
As soon as Jesse disappeared into his room, I turned to Mom. “Can I use your phone?”
She actually hesitated for a minute but finally gave in and dug her phone from her purse. “Make it quick and delete the history.”
I gave her a kiss on her cheek and ran out the front door with her ancient flip phone in hand. I didn’t have Logan’s number memorized so I called Kim.
“Angie?” She answered on the first ring and sounded as frantic as I felt.
“It’s me. Jesse broke my phone.”
“That explains a lot.” I could just imagine her shaking her head.
“Why? What do you mean?”
“Logan almost broke down my door trying to get your address.” She took a deep breath. “Tell me you’re okay.”
“I’m okay but Jesse sent a text to Logan and I have no idea what he said. Then, he broke my phone so you won’t be able to call me. Can you let Logan know I’ll talk to him tomorrow at school?”
“Oh my god. No wonder he was freaking out.” Kim laughed.
“What did he say?”
“Apparently Jesse told him you weren’t interested in rich assholes and you never wanted to talk to him again.”
“That bastard.” Poor Logan. He’d been nothing but sweet to me and he thought I sent something like that to him. “Can you tell him it wasn’t from me? I feel awful.”
“Of course.” She was quiet for a minute before asking, “Are you sure you’re okay? I can get Mom to pick you up. It’s not too late.”
Yes, it was. “I’m fine. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“I love you,” Kim said.
“I love you too.”
Billy and I did homework and read before we both passed out in his bed before nine. I slept better than usual but was awoken to the normal sounds of a blowout.
“You can’t do that to her.” Mom was screaming so it had to be bad.
“Woman, don’t you fuckin’ tell me what I can and can’t do in my own damn house.” She stifled a cry and I buried my head under Billy’s pillow. He was curled into a ball at the foot of his bed.
“I won’t let you. Do whatever you w
ant to me but you won’t touch her.” Mom’s voice changed. It was surprisingly calm but her words echoed eerily through the heater vents.
Macy started wailing and I crept out of bed, arranging the blankets around Billy as I moved. I could hear Mom begging her to be quiet. Something was wrong. More wrong than usual. Macy always knew to shut up when Mom was really upset but she just got louder.
Their bedroom door opened. “Go find Bethy, sweet pea,” Mom told Macy.
“Noooooo, Mama. Noooooo.” Macy was pounding on their door when I went out to get her. Just as I reached down to pick her up, the door flew open and Jesse was standing there with his rifle in his hand.
“What the fuck do you want? You think you can come and go around here like you own the place? Well, you don’t. This is my house and you’ll abide by my fucking rules.”
I nodded, trying to back away with Macy but he grabbed my arm and yanked me roughly into the room. Macy and I landed on the bed beside Mom. She tried to push us behind her but my instincts were just as strong. I pushed her behind me and looked to Jesse.
“Please put that away. Whatever you want is fine. I’ll do it.” And I would. If he put the gun away, I’d do anything he asked. “Please, Jesse.”
“Don’t give me those little girl eyes, Beth. You ain’t no little girl anymore and I’m tired of treating you like one.” He spit tobacco juice into a mug on his dresser and looked back at me. “I’m not letting you whore around at school just because you’re looking for a sugar daddy.”
“I’m not,” I said, looking him straight in the eye. “I just want to finish school with my friends. It’s a really good school.”
“Don’t bullshit me, girl.” He swung the gun so it was level with Mom’s head. She pushed Macy into my arms. My terrified sister buried her face into my chest so she didn’t have to see what was happening. Whether he pulled the trigger or not, that kid would be traumatized for a very long time. “I don’t want to do this but you’re forcing my hand.”
“I’m sorry.” I had no idea what I needed to apologize for but it was the only way to possibly diffuse the situation. “I was wrong and I won’t do it again.”
The Outside Series - Complete Trilogy: Books 1-3 Page 8
