The Outside Series - Complete Trilogy: Books 1-3

by Kristina Renee

  Logan’s eyes were almost black as he shifted so he was on me again. He reached for a foil packet from the nightstand that I hadn’t noticed earlier and tore it open with his teeth. Leaning on one elbow, he kissed me hard while putting the condom on with one hand. I was impressed with his ability to multitask because I was struggling to just breathe at that moment.

  Logan adjusted his hips between my legs and centered himself at my entrance. I closed my eyes and held my breath, anticipating pain of the worst kind.

  “Breathe, Liz.”

  I opened my eyes and let out my breath. His lips softly grazed mine as he nudged gently into me. I tilted my hips instinctively to accept him and waited for the pain. There was some but it was quick and sharp, like a pin prick that went away after a few seconds. Logan moved slowly, inching in then waiting for me to relax around him.

  By the time he was fully seated within me, I’d almost forgotten about pain. It was vaguely there but was quickly replaced by the slow building pleasure I’d come to expect with Logan. He moved slowly and patiently until I started to rock against him, meeting his thrusts and adding force to them.

  Just when I felt like I would explode around him, Logan increased his pace and released inside me, pushing me over the edge at the same time. I was overwhelmed with emotions that I couldn’t stop myself from blurting out, “I want to have your babies.”

  As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I froze, begging the gods of humanity to give me the power of invisibility or the power to go back in time to unsay the stupid thing I’d just said.

  I wanted to melt into the mattress and never face Logan again. I might have died from humiliation if he didn’t chuckle and kiss my tightly scrunched up forehead.

  “Someday, love. Someday.”

  13

  “I don’t want to leave you.” Logan held me against the hood of his car. We were outside Kim’s house, saying goodbye. He was leaving the next morning to visit his grandma in Lake Tahoe. He and his dad would spend Thanksgiving with her then be back on Sunday. Five days felt like a lifetime to be away from him, but I didn’t have much choice. “Are you sure you can’t come with us? You can tell your mom you’re going with Kim.”

  I buried my head against his chest. “You know I can’t.”

  I couldn’t stop the tears from soaking his shirt but I didn’t want him to drive away. Ever. I had a sick feeling in my gut that this goodbye was final. I didn’t know if it was just the sadness of being away from him or an actual premonition of some kind but I felt that things would be different the next time I saw him. Logan was perfect and what we had was beyond anything I ever hoped to have in a relationship.

  In just a few short months, he became my world and I didn’t want anything to ever change that. But he had to leave and I had to let him.

  Pulling back, I dried my eyes and lifted on my toes. “I love you, Logan Cooper.”

  He flicked his eye as if a lash was in there then forced a smile back. “I love you too, Elizabeth Martin.”

  With one final kiss that made me want to climb on top of him, he stepped back and got into his car. I stood on the curb and watched as he drove away, taking my heart and soul with him.

  I stood in the dark for a few minutes, first letting all my tears out then composing myself so I could go back in.

  Mrs. Curtner opened the door before I could reach for the handle. “You’re gonna be okay, sweetheart. It’s just for a few days.”

  I nodded and let her pull me into a hug. “Why do I feel like I’m dying?”

  “That’s love. When you’re apart, it hurts so much you don’t think you can take it anymore. Like your heart is being squeezed. Then, when you’re together again, it all goes away and your heart feels full.”

  “Thanks.” I smiled and turned away, running up to Kim’s room. She was packing for her family’s trip to Deer Valley. The Curtners skied every chance they could during the winter holidays.

  “You say your goodbyes?” She came out of her closet with a handful of jeans and sweaters

  “Yeah. I hated it.” I sat at the head of her bed and curled my body around a pillow. “It felt...wrong.”

  She looked at me with an amused sympathy. “Oh, sweetie. You’ll be okay. Just think of how much fun your reunion will be.” She wiggled her eyebrows in a very uncharacteristic move. I had to laugh.

  “Shut up.” I threw the pillow at her. “Did you talk to Austin?”

  She huffed and tossed clothes onto her suitcase in a heap. “Yeah. He’s so hard to read. One minute he acts like he’s in love, and the next he can barely remember my name. I don’t know what to think.”

  “Well, I know he likes you but maybe he’s not the relationship type. See how it goes after the break. Maybe the absence will make his heart grow fonder.”

  “Whatev. I’m not waiting around for him. If Zach is in Deer Valley, I’ll let him distract me. I already know he’s fond. I don’t have to beg for it.”

  Kim had a guy waiting in every city she visited. I let her chatter about the last time she saw Zach pull me out of my funk as I helped her pack four days’ worth of clothes into two suitcases and a carry on. We barely made it fit.

  I survived Thanksgiving with Mom and Jesse’s family. We all went to Marilyn’s and pretended to be a normal family. Jesse was in rare form. He was polite and funny and borderline pleasant. It reminded me of when depressed people got really happy once they made the decision to commit suicide. I was on edge the entire time.

  The sense of foreboding got stronger by the hour. By Friday morning, I couldn’t handle it anymore so I headed over to Kim’s to check on their house. Maddie had the weekend off so I agreed to housesit.

  Being alone in her big house was a bit eerie but at least I could talk to Logan for hours at a time without interruption. He had another surprise planned for me but I wouldn’t get it until he got home on Sunday.

  My phone rang shortly after I curled up on the sofa with Kim’s kindle on Saturday afternoon. Caught up in the latest Charlotte Abel book, I didn’t even look at the screen when I picked it up. I just hit the answer button, assuming it was Logan.

  “Hello,” I sang as I answered, excited to hear from him so early in the day.

  “Honey, it’s me. Can you come home?” Mom sounded more anxious than usual. I immediately sat up, ready for the worst.

  “What’s wrong? Is everyone okay?”

  “Billy cut his eye and I need to take him to the hospital. I’m gonna leave Macy here but I might be awhile. Can you come watch her?”

  “How did Billy get hurt?” I was already running upstairs to grab my stuff while bracing myself for her response.

  “He and Spencer were playing in the field and he rode his bike into the back fence.” I heard her rustling around in the background too. Keys jiggled on her end while my brain frantically put together the picture she was describing. There was only one fence in that field.

  “The barbed wire fence?”

  “Yeah.” She let out a deep breath. “He’s got a cut close to his eye but I think it just needs stitches. Can you come watch your sister or not?”

  “I’m leaving now. Tell Jesse I’ll be there in an hour.” I tossed my brand new phone on Kim’s dresser and started throwing stuff into my bag. I only had a few things out but I didn’t want Kim to come home to anything out of order so I quickly made her bed, grabbed my bag, then ran out the door.

  I got to the main street just as the bus was pulling up to the curb. Taking off at a dead run, I managed to slide my arm in the door as it was folding closed. I heard honking in the background and considered flipping off whoever was out there but didn’t bother. I was just glad to not have to wait for the later bus.

  It was crowded for a Saturday so I sat behind the driver with my back to the street. My stomach was in knots about how things were going with Billy. I couldn’t imagine much worse than an eyeball injury. Please let it just be a superficial cut to his cheek!

  I needed to listen to music and d
istract myself from what I was going home to. When I reached for my phone, it was gone. After digging through my purse and duffle, I realized it was still sitting on Kim’s dresser. Dammit!

  My head fell back on the window and I closed my eyes, letting the background noise calm my nerves. I kept reminding myself that Billy’s injury wasn’t life threatening and Mom was doing the right thing, which wasn’t always the case. She was taking him to the hospital instead of just waiting to see if he healed on his own.

  Once I stopped obsessing about Billy, I couldn’t help thinking about more selfish concerns. Namely, Jesse. I didn’t want to be alone with him but it was still early and I could keep Macy occupied outside until Mom got home. How bad could things get in a few hours?

  The ride seemed faster than usual. I was in a daze when the bus pulled to my stop and I got out. With a single-minded focus of just getting home and facing the beast, I jogged the whole way there.

  Jesse was getting the mail when I turned into the driveway. Macy ran straight to me and wrapped herself around my legs. Jesse walked inside the house without a word. That was actually the best case scenario. If I didn’t speak to him, I could stay off his radar.

  “Mama, Mama.” She was getting too old to call me that but I wasn’t willing to correct her. She was too cute to scold.

  “Hi, sweetheart.” I pulled her into my arms and spun her around. “Have you been a good girl?”

  She slithered off my hip and ran to the board hanging from a tree by a rope then laid her belly on it. “Swing me.”

  I set her upright and pushed her on the swing. I was in my head, not paying attention to my surroundings, when strong arms wrapped around me from behind like a vice. I froze until I heard the voice attached to those inked up sleeves of steel.

  “How’s my favorite girl?”

  “Riley!” I turned and gave him a hug. It had been a while since I’d seen him. “How are you?”

  “I’m better now. You look gorgeous as ever.” He was such a flirt.

  I smiled and swatted at his hand that was still holding my hip. “Thanks.”

  He grabbed my left hand and pulled it forward. “What’s this? You get married since I last saw you?”

  I laughed nervously and pulled my hand away. “No, of course not. It’s just a ring.” I’d forgotten to take it off on the bus. I hated not being able to wear it at home but I didn’t want Jesse to freak out.

  “Who loves you?” Riley inspected the writing on the silver band then fixed his crystal blues eyes on me, pinning me in place. “Who gave you that?”

  I slipped the ring off and slid it into my back pocket. “Uh, no one. Just a friend.” I felt like I was betraying Logan by saying that but I couldn’t risk Riley mentioning something in front of Jesse.

  Riley’s eyes focused over my shoulder. He pulled me into his chest protectively and said, “Can I help you, man?”

  I turned to see Logan standing on the sidewalk. Close enough to hear everything. I was frozen in Riley’s arms while Logan turned and got into his dad’s Expedition.

  “Logan, wait.” By the time I was able to move, Logan was already pulling away. Without a backward glance, he was gone and I wasn’t sure he’d ever be back. I fell to my knees, hyperventilating.

  Riley held Macy while I sat on the lawn and tried to understand how my world had crumbled in just a few minutes. I wanted to chase Logan’s car and beg him to listen but I didn’t. I couldn’t even call him because I didn’t have my phone. I just buried my hands in my face and rocked.

  “Sweetheart, are you okay?” Riley kneeled next to me, rubbing my back.

  I shook my head.

  “Let’s get you inside.” Lifting me by my shoulders, he pulled me to my feet and walked me in.

  “What’s her problem?” Jesse was lying on the sofa with a beer in his hand.

  “Her boyfriend just took off.” Riley spoke before I could stop him. I couldn’t even look Jesse in the eye, afraid of what I’d see.

  “Is that so?” He got up and shook Riley’s hand. “Hey, kid. Good to see you.”

  I took Macy from Riley’s arms and carried her to my room. She was getting sleepy so I put her on Billy’s bed and went to search for her pacifier. By the time I got back, she was asleep.

  Once I heard the front door shut, I went to the kitchen to get some water. Jesse was leaning against the fridge, staring at me. I pretended everything was fine while I filled a glass with water from the tap. “Have you heard from Mom? Is Billy okay?”

  “She’s still in the waiting room so she’s gonna be a few hours.”

  That’s not what I wanted to hear. “I guess that means they don’t think it’s very serious. Well, I better go check on Macy.”

  As I reached the end of the hall, I thought I was home free but when I heard Jesse’s heavy footsteps behind me, I slowed down. I didn’t want him following me into the room Macy was in so I stopped outside my door.

  Jesse’s large hand tangled into the back of my hair as he pulled my head back. “I think we need to have a little chat.”

  He dragged me through the door next to mine and into his bedroom. With a rough shove, I was face down on his bed. The day had gone from bad to worse over the course of twenty minutes.

  I rolled over, trying to get up but his palm against my sternum held me down. Completely at his mercy, I had no choice but to beg.

  “Jesse, I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad.” I scooted back a few inches so the top of my head hung off the side of the mattress but that just pissed him off more.

  “Sorry for what, princess?” He had crazy eyes, the kind he got when he was drinking or off his meds. Or both. It’d been weeks since I saw them but I recognized the signs immediately. This would end very badly.

  “Sorry for upsetting you.” I didn’t actually have anything else to be sorry for so I tried to be vague without sounding sarcastic. He hated sarcasm.

  “You didn’t upset me.” His hand scooted over so it was completely cupping my breast. “You pissed me the fuck off.” He squeezed hard, making me arch away from his hand and yelp at the pain.

  “Please let me go.”

  “You don’t have a boyfriend, do you understand me?” His other hand moved to my hip then slid around to the bottom of my ass. “You fucking belong to me and only me.”

  I nodded. “Okay, I get it. It’s over between us anyway.”

  “I hope so, princess.” He tore my shirt at the neck and split it down the center, exposing my bra and belly. “Otherwise, he’d be pretty pissed at what I’m about to do.”

  My heart raced as I tried to shove him off me. He had at least a hundred pounds on me and I couldn’t overpower him. I had to be smart about every move I made.

  He leaned over and kissed my right breast over my bra and then my left. Just having him so close to me caused my stomach to roll. His hands clamped down over my wrists to hold me in place. Closing my eyes, I counted to ten in my head as I tried to think.

  When his mouth moved down over the center of my panties, I screamed. “No, please, Jesse. Please don’t do this.” I crossed my legs and bent at the knee, pushing him away in the process. Looking frantically for any kind of weapon, there was nothing. The lamp on the nightstand was too far and I was hanging precariously over the side of the bed. Then I remembered Jesse always kept a loaded gun between the mattress and box spring. I hadn’t looked for it in a while but I saw him slide it in often enough that I knew it had to be close.

  “Trust me, princess. You’re gonna love this as much as your whore mama does.” When he let go of my left arm to unzip his pants, I let my arm fall over the side of the mattress and out of his reach. It was also inches from where his gun was usually hidden.

  “Mom will be home any minute. Don’t do this to her.” Running my hand along the seam of the mattress, I found the cold, hard butt of the pistol. It was small but effective at close range. I’d only handled a gun a few times in a shooting range but I wasn’t afraid. Whatever happened next would be worth th
e risk. If nothing else, maybe this would finally be his third strike and enough to keep him in jail for a long time.

  “We’ve got plenty of time.” His belt hung from both his hips as he slid his zipper down. “And if she does come home, it’ll be a good lesson for her to keep her kids in check.”

  I carefully pulled the handle of the gun from its hiding spot as Jesse’s pants dropped. I tried to look away but I still saw the grotesque site of his large penis breaking free of his boxers as they fell to the floor with his jeans.

  Firmly gripping the gun, my index finger felt for the trigger. Shooting with my left hand would be awkward but I would still do some damage. Hopefully enough damage to stop him rather than just piss him off enough to kill me instead of just raping me.

  It felt like slow motion as he leaned his massive body over me and positioned himself at my center. As soon as his hand reached for the side of my panties, I pulled the gun forward and aimed at his chest. He was surprised just long enough for me to pull the trigger.

  Blood and spit sprayed everywhere as Jesse collapsed on top of me. I thought I’d gone deaf when everything went silent. The blast was so loud I couldn’t hear anything but my own beating heart. At first, I panicked because I couldn’t breathe under Jesse’s weight, but I quickly went into survival mode. Using the blood as a macabre lube, I managed to slip out from under Jesse and roll to the floor. I sat there in a huddled mess until the noises that sounded underwater became more clear.

  Eventually, my ears recovered enough for me to realize I was screaming. There were sirens in the distance and some banging outside but I couldn’t move. I wouldn’t have moved at all if Macy hadn’t wandered in. She pushed open the door that wasn’t fully closed and ran toward me.

  That finally snapped me out of my stupor. Crawling across the room on my knees, I picked her up and carried her down the hall. I was about to open the front door when it flew open and Logan burst through it. Instantly, I was in his arms. He held me as I cried against his shirt, clinging to him as if my life depended on it.